Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or situations. They just came over to play in my head for a while. They are all unharmed, I promise.

Author: PkGrl, Inspired by "With You" by Linkin Park

Setup: Revenging Angel epilogue, John's POV

Spoilers: Up to Revenging Angel



1 With Eyes Closed

Completely alone. That's how John felt surrounded by friends and allies. Completely, utterly alone, without Aeryn. Now, floating outside Moya, John's thoughts once again drifted to Aeryn.

D'Argo had tried to make amends for causing John's concussion, even to the point of encouraging retribution, but John didn't really feel the need. He and D'Argo fought. So what. Lots of guys did. Didn't mean they didn't care. So this time D'Argo's hyper rage had resulted in serious injury, but John felt fine now, although he did wonder how much more punishment his head could take here in the Uncharteds. The headache from that last zonk was even gone. But that only left room for memories to encroach.

The first memories were easy to take and made John smile: Aeryn's grin, even her grimace, her gray-blue eyes, her scent, her hair.

John bumped against Moya, his tether line becoming taut, then slack again as he drifted closer to the hatch. He wondered briefly if the others would remember he was out here.

Aeryn's face became more defined in his memories. With his eyes closed, he imagined every feature, every curve, every angle. He could see her as clearly as if she were standing right beside him.

An he could hear her, too. "See? I knew you could survive." She sounded proud of him.

He wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, to share her warmth out here in the cold of space. That's when the memories became painful. He missed her so badly, he ached. He felt raw, exposed, on edge in a way he'd never experienced before. And what hurt the most was knowing that she would not be feeling the same way. She had her John. She didn't need him, the original, the one she'd assigned the green shirt.

He hated that shirt. It felt like a brand, his own scarlet letter. He'd have to get a new black t somewhere. Soon.

His eyes opened at that thought. Pulling himself toward Moya's hatch, he commed Pilot.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Didn't you say we were close to an inhabited system?"

Pilot's calm tomes sounded tinny inside the suit's helmet. "Yes. We could reach it in less than two arns at hetch seven."

"Good. Set a course." John reached the hatch and quickly added, "I'm coming in," just in case Pilot had forgotten about his EVA excursion.

D'Argo's voice rumbled over the comm as John reached the airlock and began removing the space suit. "Crichton, is there something we should know?"

John considered telling the Luxan everything: about his memories, his pain, his reason for continuing to fight the good fight, his desire to be with Aeryn once more. He decided in an instant against that.

Instead, he simply said, "Nah. I just need a new shirt."