HoldingOn7.html (A/N) Hey there, guess what? I'm going away for 7 to 8 weeks for the summer so this will probably be the last chapter for a while, so sorry if this seems kind of long/rushed/wierd, I just didn't want to keep you guys waiting to long! Anyway, hopefully when I get back there'll be more reviews to get me back in the writing mode, hehe. Um... more angst, yaoi, fight, an' stuff.

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters obviously, just the story

Holding On: Part Seven

Matt's POV

A surprised yell escaped from my lips as I was shoved into the nearest alleyway, my head spinning as it tried to catch up with what was going on. Then suddenly I was surrounded and having major deja vu as a cruel voice growled from the shadows in front of me, "Hey Blondie, did ya miss me?" Shit, I knew it, I knew it! It's him, he's back for revenge! Kami help me...

So far I wasn't in complete freak out mode, I don't think my mind had yet grasped the meaning of all this. Then another boy stumbled into the alleyway, dragging something behind him, "Heya boss, what should I do with this 'un here?" This one? Who's he... Oh my God... Taichi! What did they do to him?

"Just keep an eye on him 'till I need 'im." Then I was grabbed by a rough hand and shoved against the dirty wall behind me, my head smacked against the bricks making stars burst in my vision, "As for you... What d'ya have to say for yourself, you little whore?!" Seb spat in my face, his foul breath making me choke. I couldn't focus, couldn't think and felt like I wasn't even there at all... definitely in shock. I was pulled forward, then smacked against the wall again, almost hard enough to crack my skull, "I asked you a question bitch. Answer me!"

"I... I don't... know what... you're talk... talking about." I gasped, desperately trying to figure out how I was going to get out of this mess. It was obvious that Taichi was out of commission for the moment as two skinny creeps held him up nearby. I hope he's going to be okay, I haven't even seen him move yet. They better have not hurt him too bad, that's all I can say.

"You fucking know what I'm talking about, Bitch!" This was followed by a sharp punch to my stomach, shoving the air out of my body. Now I could barely breath and my head was feeling as if it was about to explode with pain. And even worse, I was beginning to realize just what the situation was. I could already feel the fear climbing up my throat. "You're going to pay, you and that gay-assed dicklicker over there." Oh no... no... Taichi... They can't hurt us, please, they just can't.

Suddenly Seb lets go of me and I slump to the pavement, still trying to catch my breath in painful gasps. Kami... my whole body feels like it just got run over by a truck, especially my head. Oh man, how ironic is this? Once again I'm caught by those horrible guys, and for a second time Taichi is unable to help me. I just don't think I can handle this... not by myself. It hurt enough the first time, wasn't once enough?

"Bring 'im over here boys." I look up in time to see my boyfriend thrown onto the ground a few feet in front of me. He didn't move, but I heard a small groan. Then Seb came back into my view. "Since you had the privilege of having this done already, we'd thought we'd give you a demonstration of how we dun it. Of course, this time 'round, we can't afford to have you live to tell the tale, that mistake won't be repeated!" The guys standing around us laughed, making me cringe at the malice I could hear in their voices. Why? Why are they doing this to us? It just doesn't make sense. I know they want revenge, well Seb does anyway, for getting him thrown in jail, but do they have to do it like this? Maybe I'm having that nightmare again, maybe this isn't really happening. That's it, I'm asleep and dreaming this. Only this time, Taichi is going to be hurt like I was. Oh Taichi... no... Just a nightmare... got to wake up... wake up... NOW!

But I didn't wake up, as I stared in a daze at the shiny object dangling in front of my face. When my eyes focused on it, I realized it was a knife. A knife that Seb was holding and bringing it closer to my still unconscious love. Oh no... Fuck, this can't be happening, not to him, not to my Taichi. He's had to put up with enough crap from me, and he does not need to experience the pain for himself. I can't let this happen... I can't. It'll ruin him. I've got to help... somehow...

Then I was snapped out of my dreamlike state when I saw the knife go to Taichi's pants... I won't let this happen! With a strangled cry, I jumped up, ignoring the pain in my stomach and head, and sent myself into Seb. Seb is one tough guy, I tell you, and he has one hell of a hard body, something I got to experience for myself as I launched into him from the side. In his complete shock at my attack though, Seb went flying onto the graveled pavement, the knife shooting off into a pile of garbage. For the next few minutes there was complete silence, no one moved as they all stared at me panting heavily from where I had rolled to. Seb was still lying on the ground, winded.

Finally, I cleared my head enough to sit up, my action seeming to be a signal for the others to start coming back to life as well. A growling Seb leaped up, ignoring a large scrape along his arm which was bleeding heavily, and stomped over to me. The other boys stood back, grinning as they knew what was coming. Yep, he's going to kill me now for sure. "You fucking little bitch! What the hell was that?! You're asking for it," His ugly face closed in towards my own, giving me a grin from hell.

I have to admit, I'm scared out of my mind here. This guy could beat me up with one hand tied behind his back, and me, I'm skinny as a stick and probably just as strong. Maybe I should have listened more when my parents had always told me to eat my vegetables. But it's too late to back down now, I got myself into this, and I'm sure as hell not going to run away from it, not while Taichi is still out cold and helpless. There's got to be a way to beat this giant pig. Come on Ishida, you can do it... think! Great, now I'm encouraging myself, real sane. I guess Seb finally gave up waiting for me to do something as the next thing I know I'm hurtled back against the other wall, knocking the breath from me for a second time. This just isn't my day. Panting heavily, I manage to stumble to my feet, only to find myself staring face to face with a murderous glare.

"Uunh...Ya...Yama...?" Taichi! He's waking up! Although he doesn't sound like he'll be up to defending himself, much less both of us. That distraction caused me another slammer, right in the cheek, cracking my head back. From my dazed position on the ground, I saw a few of the gang members grab Taichi firmly between them. He wasn't going anywhere, although he wasn't struggling yet, looking very out of it and confused from that hit on the head.

I saw Seb's large boot coming for my head and managed to roll out of the way, just in time. How the hell was I going to defeat *him*? Man... I'm way in over my head here. Another dodge from a fist.

I hate him... I HATE him and I can't take this anymore. Living in fear of him every god damned minute of the day. I just... I can't keep it up, it's wearing me down. I don't want to live in constant fear of what Seb'll do to me, what he did to me. Slowly, but surely, I could feel the terror leaking away, being replaced with anger. Anger that this... this heartless bastard would do such things. I don't want him to hurt me, or anybody for that matter, but now I realize the only way to get him to stop haunting me is to face him. Face my fear, and defeat it. Yikes... I think I'm finally losing it.

Seb tightly clenched my shirt collar in his fist again, lifting me up until I was balancing on my toes and choking a bit. He aimed another nasty sneer at me, "This is what you deserve Blondie, you worthless piece of shit. I broke you once, an' I'll do it again. This time it ain't to get Taichi back, this uns' all for you." His tongue shot out to lick his lips as he leered up at me, making my stomach churn with panic that was trying to make itself known. But I wouldn't acknowledge the fear's presence, not now, not with this asshole to take care of. Now I finally understand how Taichi felt when he was going after Seb a while ago, red vision and all. I may be self absorbed and quiet most of the time, but when my famous Ishida temper flares up, the source of it better take heed. Just as Seb raised a hard fist to my face, I silently tightened my own fist and stared him right in the eyes, giving him the hardest glare of my life. I don't know what he saw in my eyes, but I swear I saw a glimmer of fear in his own black ones just before my fist cracked into his face with all the force of my frustrations, fears and anger behind it. Both of us gave a yell, mine full of madness and his of pain and surprise. And that was just the beginning... call my koi names will you? This is what you get for hurting us!

All my senses left as I finally was doing what I should have done in the very beginning. All I could see was my fist pounding his ugly face and body, only his yells and my screams of rage could I hear, and I could feel nothing of my own pain, just the numbness of revenge. I hate him, I hate what he did to me, I hate myself for being so weak, and I fucking hate him for even being born to hurt us. Hate... hate... take that... and that.... "I HATE YOU!"

~*~
Tai's POV

My head finally cleared enough for me to make sense of my surroundings and what was going on around me. First thing I noticed was that I was being held tightly, both my arms cranked up behind my back where one false move could disjoint or break them. Secondly, I came aware that I was in some smelly, dirty alleyway. And finally my eyes came to rest on two boys at the opposite wall, one gripping the other's shirt collar, holding him up in the air. What the hell...? What happened? I don't... Suddenly my brain kicked in. Shit... that's Seb and... and Yamato. *Seb and Yamato*! Oh fuck! Yamato... he looks like shit, bruises becoming clear on his pale face, his hair a total mess, as well as the fact that it appears he's choking in Seb's grasp. And there's nothing I can do! Maybe I can break free somehow, I have to. I will not let that son of a bitch hurt my Yama again! Then I saw Yamato's eyes. I've never seen them so hard in my life, not even when I pissed him off for
all those years. His bright sapphire eyes are now ice, making even me who is almost used to that look freeze in sheer terror. Yamato is not happy, and I know all about his temper. Seb's in for it now.

And then it came, Yamato's fist smashed into Seb's face, hurtling them both down to the pavement. The two guys with me yelled, but didn't loosen their grip. I was about to kick them when I heard the screams and looking back at the scene before us I gaped in complete shock. I have never seen my sweet angel like this before. He's snapped! The utter rage on his face scared me like never before, and the way he was rhythmically pounding into Seb's body like that... I guess Yamato's been keeping everything inside for so long, this is how it's now coming out. Suddenly I realize my arms are free, and the two other guys are running over to their fallen leader to aid him. They grab at Yamato, but he doesn't even seem to feel them, his focus is all on the one who gave him so much pain. Oh Yama... I'm so sorry.

My only capabilities for a few moments was to feel shock and fright at Yamato's complete out of control attack. Then I notice the blood leaking onto the ground from them, and then the guy who's just grabbed a loose board and is aiming at my koi's head! Without hesitation I race over to the idiot and shove my own fist into his face, sending him reeling to the ground. The other member of the gang saw this and ran. What cowards. Finally I turn back to Yamato, he hasn't even slowed down his punches, his face contorted into a painful grimace, eyes full of hate. Shit, he's actually going to kill that bastard!

"Yama?" Slowly I walk over to him, but Yamato doesn't give any indication that he's noticed me. Seb looks completely unconscious, finally giving up in defending himself against Yama's mindless hatred. I kneel down beside him, but hesitate to reach over to the blonde as he is totally under his need for revenge, "Please Yama-chan... stop this okay? You're going to kill him." I plead gently.

"I HATE YOU!" Yamato screams out for a second time, and I'm assuming that it's aimed at Seb and not me, "I HATE YOU! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Okay... Damn, this is not looking so good. I have to stop Yamato, now. If he keeps this up and kills Seb, well I don't think the police are going to care much for his excuse of revenge.

"Angel... come on, it's me, Taichi. Get a grip and lay off of him. I hate him too, but killing him is not going to solve anything. Just like what you were telling me when I wanted to kill him. Are you listening to me? ... Yama-chan?" Without thinking of the consequences, I reach out and lay a hand on his shoulder, "Yamato."

Then his cold, blank gaze is turned on me. I don't even think he really is seeing me, caught in his own dark world. And then for the second time that day I'm sent backwards by a forceful punch in the jaw. I felt my jaw bone creak with the effort not to crack, and in my shock at what Yamato had just done, all I could do was lay on my side holding my injured face. Damn, I had no idea he could hit that hard! Fuck... Maybe he did break the bone. Fighting a sudden wave of nausea, I try to sit up, only to find out the first lump to my head was not going to let me off that easily and I fell back down as a wave of dizziness hit me. "Yama... Stop." I manage to command through clenched teeth as I closed my eyes tightly against the sudden urge to throw up. This was not how I was planning to spend the day, lying in some hell hole alley, beaten up by a gang and my boyfriend.

~*~
Matt's POV

My vision was filled with darkness, except for the thick red haze in the middle through which I watched myself pound the enemy. Hate is running through my veins, stronger than I've ever imagined feeling it. Seb deserves to die after what he did to me, what he was going to do to my koi, and I'll be the one to kill him. I don't care anymore, just as long as he can't hurt me. The darkness has finally taken control, this time in the form of my hatred. Fuck this bastard, he hurt me so bad, I'm only making him feel what I felt.

Suddenly I felt a new weight on my shoulder and a voice. A new enemy? On instinct I turn to face him, unable to comprehend who it was through my clouded mind, and got rid of him with one quick punch. Breathing heavily, I watch as the dark form falls to the ground, then turn my attention back to the task at hand. My pattern has been broken, but I'll start a new one on his face. Just as I pull back a fist I hear that voice again, coming from that person who was here moments ago. It sounds urgent this time, commanding, pleading. What the fuck? Who... no, I've got to kill Seb, he'll get free and hurt me again. I send another fist cracking against the asshole's cheek with all the force I could conjure up. "Fuck Yamato, do you even know what you're doing? What the hell is wrong with you? Snap out of it!" The other figure is near me again. Of course I know what I'm doing, I'm getting rid of unnecessary pain. There's nothing wrong with me, nothing. I have the right to do this. I will kill him.

This time I'm pushed right off of Seb, and was too surprised to get back up right away. The other boy was leaning over the still body, which was the only thing I could focus on. "Shit... Yamato, gimme your cell, I've got to call for help." His voice was thick and almost unclear, as if speaking was hurting him. At first I didn't understand what he wanted, then when I did, the anger returned. He wants to help this thing that hurt me so bad? No... no, I didn't finish killing him yet! He can't help him!

Then the boy is in front of me, "Yamato?" No, no, no... I've got to finish my revenge. This isn't right. How dare this jerk try to stop me, who does he think he is?! "Damnit Yama, please stop this." Now his voice sounds choked, why...? "You're really scaring me okay? Please, you're going to get yourself hurt... you're already hurting me." Hurting him? How? I... well I did punch him, I remember that, but... I hear him groan, then feel a hand reach into my pocket and pull out the cell phone. My first instinct was to punch him again for 'helping', but I couldn't... I just... couldn't. I didn't want to hurt him.

Slowly my head started to clear, and I became aware of the the wide, tearful chocolate eyes staring at me as the mouth moved in conversation with the phone. He was scared... I was frightening him. I forget all about Seb and my revenge as I just stare into those sorrowful eyes, losing myself in their soft depths. Somehow, they calmed me, and I could feel my senses returning. I heard the phone click off, and it was gently placed back in my pocket, suddenly snapping me back to realization. Back to reality and where I was... who this was with me. Taichi, it was Taichi... oh God, he's okay, he... Oh no... I... I hit him... that was him I punched... I hurt him... oh no... no, no, no. Oh Kami no.

A terrified and shameful sob escaped my mouth before I could stop it, and I started scrambled backwards, away from the one I had betrayed. How could I have done that? Had I been so deep in my darkness that I would hurt the one I loved most? Shaking my head in denial and horror, I tried to stand up, but collapsed back down as my legs gave out on me. I was a mess, I hadn't felt it in my rage, but my whole body was one fucking pain. Finally I sobbed out to the staring brunette, unable to control myself, "I... I... I'm... s-sorry... I'm sorry... I-I'm sorry... please..."

Taichi interrupted me as his eyes lit up, "Yama-chan? You back with me now Love?" He crawled over to my shivering form, "You... you okay now?" I shake my head, wishing I could just disappear forever. How could I have done that to him? "Oh... Angel. I... uh. Well, the ambulance should be here soon anyway, and the police. We-" He stops suddenly, wincing, and rubs his jaw a bit. I can see the bruise already, the bruise that I made with my own fist. I turn away, unable to look at my mistake any longer. Baka... Taichi promises never to hurt me, and then what do I do to him? It's a wonder he is even still beside me right now. If I were him, I'd just leave the horrible person I am and find someone who deserves him.

There was silence for a few minutes, both of us unwilling to break it, then came the noise of the sirens. I saw the ambulance pull up beside the alley and the men inside run out. The next half hour was a blur as police and paramedics rushed around the scene, firing questions at us and gathering up Seb's bloody body. Taichi and I were also sent on another ambulance to the hospital as I could hardly even stand up and they wanted to take a look at Taichi's head and jaw. By the time we got there I had blacked out, exhausted and deep in pain and sorrow.

~*~
Tai's POV

A bright beam of sun that slipped through a crack in the blinds hit my eyes. With a groan, I manage to roll away from it, fighting down a pounding headache. Those guys really hit me hard in the head yesterday. Wait a minute... yesterday... Seb.... Yamato! With a panicky feeling in my gut I snap open my eyes and shoot up in bed. Where is he? Yama, he's not here! Where am I? Where's Yamato?

After one terrifying minute, I finally become aware of my surroundings and realize that the white room and bed signifies that I'm in a hospital. Oh... right. Now I remember. I must have finally fallen asleep last night after that big argument with the doctor over seeing Yamato. They hadn't let me, saying we were both too exhausted and they were still looking at Yama's injuries. He better be okay or I'll never forgive myself. I should have protected him yesterday, but once again I wasn't strong enough to be at his side and he had to face his fears alone.

With another groan, I roll right out of bed onto my feet. There's no way I'm staying there when I don't know how Yamato's doing. My head still hurts, and my jaw's a bit stiff, but the doctor's analyzed that there was no broken bones or fractures or anything like that, so I figure I should be allowed out of my room. Fortunately I had been able to keep my own clothes on, so I didn't have to worry about wandering around the place in one of those ugly gown things. Still partly asleep, I stumble out of the room and down the hall, looking for a nurse to ask directions to Yamato's room. It must still be pretty early as the hallways are quiet, with only a few people walking around in a hurry. I was just about to shout out to a nurse in front of me when a voice called out from behind me, "Tai! Over here!"

I turned around to see Takeru jogging down the hall toward me. Waving at him, I waited until he caught up to me, "Hey Takeru, What's up? Do you know where Yamato's room is?"

"Yeah, you passed it already. Tai... Matt's pretty upset, you really need to talk to him and straighten it out." Takeru started to lead me back down the hall.

"Straighten what out? What's wrong?" I cluelessly ask.

Takeru stopped infront of a closed door, "Here it is. Well, he thinks you're mad at him, and he's been going on about not deserving you and stuff like that. From what I can make of it, he hurt you or something." His cerulean eyes look up at me questioningly.

"Oh man... I had forgotten about that." I groan. Of course Yamato's upset, he punched my lights out yesterday. He probably thinks I hate him! Oh no, poor Yama. No kidding I've got to straighten it out. It was an accident, I know that. Without another word to the younger blonde, I open the door and hesitantly walk into the room.

Blinking in the dim light, I finally spot Yamato curled up on the bed, back facing me. I carefully walk over to the bedside and kneel down beside him, "Yama-chan?" His muscles tense even more but he turns over with a reluctant sigh.

We just stare at each other for a few moments, silent yet comforted by the company of one another. His sapphire eyes are widened and glistening with unshed tears, then suddenly he pulls his eyes away from my own, staring down at his bed sheets instead, "Taichi... I... Gomen nasai." He whispers, avoiding my gaze.

With a smile, which he couldn't see at the moment, I reach over and place a hand on his shoulder, "Yama-chan, it's okay. It was an accident, I'm sure. I'll get over it." Yamato finally looks back up, but doesn't say anything. He looks so depressed, probably from guilt and all the crap that's gone on lately. Not that I've been that much of a help. "Remember how you're always telling me not to feel guilty about something I couldn't control? Well what you did was no where near as bad as what I did to you, so I don't want you to feel guilty about it either, okay? Yama-chan?" I squeeze his shoulder as he nods slowly, "Good." And to show him my appreciation I lean over and capture his soft lips in a gentle kiss. Yamato let out small, cute noise from the back of his throat and raked a slender hand through my mop of hair. Even after we both ran out of breath and had to back away a bit panting, he held me near with his now entangled grip.

After a few minutes of silence again, my koi sighs and whispers in a sad voice, "I was so worried that... that you'd leave me for hurting you. Why did you stay? I really ... really don't-"

I cut him off hastily, not wanting him to start getting depressed again after I had just fixed that problem, "If you're going to say you don't deserve me, don't. I do not like to hear nonsense come out of your mouth. If anybody doesn't deserve the other right now, it's me. I hurt you first, and you still want to be with me, so why would it be any different the other way around? I love you Angel, and I'm not going to leave, so please just stop thinking about that alright?"

Yamato lets out another sigh, then gives me a tiny smile, "Okay Taichi, anything for you." Then his expression darkens again, looking worried, "Taichi? I didn't... I didn't k-kill him... did I? 'cause I know I wanted to, but I... I don't think that was a... a good idea now."

It took me a few moments for me to think back on the information the doctors had given me last night, "No... no you didn't kill him, don't worry about that. I think he's critical care or something right now, but we cleared your name and all, you know, self defence and everything. They might want to ask you a few questions later to verify my statement, but that's all. You... you were really out of it yesterday." I hesitantly comment.

"Yeah..." Yama nodded slightly, looking away again, "I really... am sorry. I don't know what got into me, but I just couldn't stand it any longer. I couldn't let him... let him..." He gulped and went silent again.

A bit confused, I just reached over and started stroking his hair gently, trying to calm him. It worked as he relaxed a little more. "Let him what Angel?"

His blue eyes turned back to me and I was almost horrified at the amount of pain I could see in them, fresh tears building up in their depths, "He... he was going... going to do to you... what he... what he did to me. Oh Taichi... I just couldn't let him do that... it was terrible for me, I didn't want you to... to go through..." He cut off with a sob, and I quickly wrapped him in a tight hug. That bastard! No wonder Yamato went nuts.

Shuddering at the thought of Seb's intentions, I held Yama until he calmed down a bit again, then whispered in his ear, "Angel... arigatou. You saved us, I'm just sorry I couldn't have helped out. But we're okay now and he can't hurt any of us. He's not getting out of jail that easily again, especially since he had had a restraint order. It's okay Yama-chan." He partially nodded against my chest, but didn't move. "You did a really good job yourself though, Yama-chan. I mean, the others, they ran like all hell was after them when they saw you stand up for yourself. I couldn't have done a better job myself!" I grin as the blonde finally pulls his head away.

He sniffed, then gave me that half smile of his, "Yeah... I did get him pretty good, didn't I?"

"Heh, that's for sure! Did anyone ever tell you, you have one hell of an arm on you?" His smile widened some more as the last of his tears faded.

"No... even I didn't know I could swing like that." I let out a small laugh as he grins, then lean down again to melt into another heart thrilling kiss. I love the taste of my Yama, he's just so wonderful. Mmm... my new favorite hobby, making my Angel groan with pleasure.

"Um... guys?" Takeru's voice interrupted my thoughts, as well as the giggling which sounded like it belonged to my sister. Too wrapped up in my attack on Yama's bottom lip, I just gave them a backward wave over my shoulder, not letting Yamato get away from me. Yamato just let out a low moan and gave in, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Tai, if you think you could take a few minutes for a breather, Dad wants to see you outside." That got my attention. With a gasp, I pull away and turn around to face two gaping kids.

Behind me, Yamato sighed and sat up as I stood from the floor, "Dad's here? Shit... I haven't even spoken to him yet since I ran out on you guys. Is he mad, Kari?"

"I... couldn't really tell. He looked torn between looking forward to killing you or to hugging you to death. Either way, you die." She shrugged as if it didn't matter to her, although I could make out the concern on her face.

Yamato slipped his hand into my own and tried to give me a smile, just as worried about this as anyone was, "Ai shiteru." Was all he whispered.

I give him a confident smile back, "Ai shiteru Yama-chan. I'll be back in a few minutes, so just keep Takeru and Kari company until then okay?" After he gave me his nod, I pulled out of his grasp and walked out the door, not feeling as confident as I looked. I did disobey my father and run back to Odaiba after all, he really can't be too thrilled about that.

When I got to the end of the hallway, my dad was waiting against the wall, expression blank and arms crossed in a very imposing stance. As I had no clue to what he was thinking at the moment, I remain silent and stare at the ground so I don't have to see his accusing stare. I'm in deep shit here, I just know it. He's always had a short temper. "Tai." He finally says in an unemotional tone.

Taking a deep breath, I gather my courage and stand up straight, looking him right in the eye. There's no way I'm going to show fear in front of him. "Yes?" I shoot back in just as an unemotional voice.

Suddenly I'm in his grip and being shaken by the shoulders until my teeth rattled. His voice was now full of anger, "What the hell were you thinking? Running off like that, scaring your mother half to death. Do you have any idea how worried we were, not knowing where you went? Well Taichi?! Answer me!"

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" I choked out as I was still being whipped back and forth. Anything to get him to stop it!

Abruptly I was let go and I heard my dad take a calming breath. I steadied myself, trying not to fall over in shock at what he had done. "Tai... sorry, I shouldn't have done that. But you honestly had us worried. And now... now I find out you were almost raped and beaten like that Ishida boy!"

I wince at the way he spat out my koi's name, but decide to let it go for the moment. No use making him even angrier. "Look dad... it really wasn't anything. I'm fine. And I am sorry for leaving like that at grandma's, but I had to. You have to understand, Yama-chan needed me, I didn't have a choice."

"Yes you did, I'm sure his brother or parents could have taken care of whatever his problem was just fine." He growled, glaring at me once again.

I sigh and shake my head, "You don't understand. Don't you think his brother tried to help? He needed me, and I did help him. Dad... I couldn't just leave him, I love him too much!" Suddenly I slam my mouth shut as I realize what I had just said. What a dumb thing to declare in front of my homophobic father!

But to my surprise, he completely ignores the statement and changes the subject, "So you're okay... from yesterday I mean."

I blink twice and nod, confused "Uh... yeah... just got a bump on the head, that's all."

"Okay then. You going to stay here for awhile with Ishida?" My jaw drops open. What the hell? My dad is actually asking what I want to do? Maybe he's been taking drugs or something, this is so not like him. I think I was bugging out at him a little too long as he finally turned his look into another glare, "Well? I don't have all night son."

Shaking my head to clear it, I try to hide some of my shock, unsuccessfully, "I... wha... You're not mad?"

"Of course I'm mad," he snaps with an exasperated hand motion, "But what do you expect me to do? So far I haven't been able to keep you away from that boy for long, so what's the point in trying to do so now? I ground you to the house, I still come home to find you in his arms... I move you across the country and you run right back! It's no use. So are you staying or not?!"

Wow... that was... interesting. He really means it! "Y-yeah... I guess I am. So I'm off the hook?"

He snorts and shakes his head, "Of course not, you're still in trouble for what you did at grandma's, but we'll talk about those extra chores and limitations later. Tell Kari we're going home and you make sure you get someone to drive you, I don't trust those buses." With that he just turned around and walked back to the waiting room, leaving me to stare at his retreating back in surprise.

I don't believe this... I really don't believe this! He's not going to make me stop seeing Yama! With a sudden whoop of happiness, I race back to the room and slam through the door. All three of the digidestined turn their wide eyes on me as I grin madly, "Hey Kari, dad's leaving, so get your butt out there!"

"You're not coming?" She asked in surprise, "So he's not angry or anything?"

"He was pretty mad, and I think I got a few extra things added to my list of chores and probably tv taken away, but that's it! He's given up!" I do a little victory dance thing and slide across the floor to sit beside a staring Yamato again. Kari just stood up and said goodbye before skipping out the door. "So Yama-chan, my beautiful, sweet Angel, what should we do to make up for that lost time?"

Takeru groans from nearby and stands up as well from his chair, "Jeez, he's just as bad as Dais. I'm outta here. See ya Matt, I'll come back tomorrow with Dad to give you a lift home." We waved goodbye, and I turned back to face my smiling blonde Angel.

"We are doing nothing koi, I think I'm too battered and exhausted right now to do anything." Yamato sighs and closes his eyes. Now that I actually take the time to notice, he does look pretty tired. I guess he was up earlier than I was, and after yesterday he deserves a rest.

I take his hand up again and give it a squeeze, "I know. You should get some sleep, I'll hang around here, maybe go grab a snack or something."

Yamato smiles with his eyes still closed, and mumbles, "Okay Taichi... be here when I wake up?"

"Of course," I plant a gentle kiss on his forehead and watch his captivating features until his breathing slows into the rhythm of sleep. After kissing him again, I stand up and stretch. Time to go look for a vending machine, I want to be here when he does wake up, one of my favorite moments of being with him. Hmm... now that the big crisis' are over with, time to solve one last one... caramel or nuts?

~*~
Matt's POV

For the first time since my initial encounter with Seb, and not counting the previous drugs, I slept peacefully without a single memory of a dream. I woke up feeling refreshed, if still sore, and curious to find out how late it was. Sitting up a bit, I peer around the darkened room until I spotted the hunched over form on the chair beside the bed. Soft snores reached my ears as I easily recognized the mop of hair hanging over the figure's lap. Feeling a smile tug at my face, I sit up the rest of the way and look around for the time. Taichi's so faithful to me, staying here the whole time to keep my sleeping body company. It must have been so boring for that hyperactive teenager, too bad he's fallen asleep as I feel like talking now that I'm awake. Finally giving up on finding a clock in this room, I decide to get up and explore the hallways, see if anyone's out there. Swinging my legs over the bedside, I wince at the pain in my head and wonder if there's a nurse around to get a painkiller from. Noticing how I was dressed in one of those stupid hospital gowns, I start searching for my clothes and spot them in a neat pile on the table nearby. Once I've slipped into my shirt and pants, I quietly sneak out of the room, reluctant to wake Taichi up from his peaceful slumber.

The halls were eerily silent and empty when I got out there, and as I walked slowly down the corridor I finally find a clock hanging on the wall. 2:55am, shit, no wonder nobody's up, I shouldn't even be up. But for some reason I'm really not feeling very tired at the moment, probably still hyped up from the previous events now that I've gotten a decent rest. Previous events... right. With a sigh I lean my back against the nearest wall, my knees suddenly feeling weak. It's still hard to really comprehend what I've done, beating up and almost killing Seb, going crazy and punching my poor koi. I don't know why he even wanted to talk to me after that, after I betrayed him like that. But I guess it's because we're in love and like me for him, he can forgive anything I've done, within reason. I wonder if he regretted ever coming back the first time and telling me he loved me, when he was smacked by my fist and sent to the ground, me not even sorry for what I had just done. He must have, hated me in that one moment, regretted ever falling in love with me. I hate myself for that whole afternoon...

"Yama-chan?" A cracked, sleepy voice startles me and I cut off a fresh sob to look up from where I was now sitting with my head buried in my knees. Taichi was standing a few feet away, looking slightly disheveled and confused in the pale hospital light. "What're you doing out here?"

"I..." What was I doing here? Oh right... I had been looking for a clock, I wonder how long I've been sitting here now, hugging my knees to my chest. I must look really childish right now, "I didn't want to wake you up," I explain in a whisper. It wasn't a lie, I hadn't wanted to wake him.

"Oh..." He shifted his weight, still seeming confused and just coming out of his half sleep state. Suddenly I realize that my cheeks were wet and quickly turn my face away, hoping he hadn't noticed. I scrub at the tears with a sleeve, why was I crying anyway? We had supposedly straightened out everything earlier, so there should be no reason to be acting like this in front of him now. Then I feel Taichi's warm body shove down next to mine and his arm hesitantly reach around my shoulders, pulling me into a sideways hug, "I wouldn't have minded to be woken up by you," his soft voice whispers in my ear as I lean my head on his shoulder.

"It's really early... you looked tired." I whisper back, wondering at the same time why we were whispering when there was no one around.

He responds with a small nod, as if finally understanding something, and squeezes me tighter for a second, "Thanks." There was a few minutes of silence before he spoke again, "What're you thinking about?"

I shrug uncomfortably, "Nothing." He knows very well what I'm thinking about.

"Hmm..." Taichi sighs and pulls away a little, still keeping his arm around me, "I'm serious Yama-chan, I want to know. If you don't tell me, I can't help you." His eyes are full of seriousness for once, and concern. More worry that I don't deserve, least of all from him.

I sigh as well, but am reluctant to lie when he trusts me so much, so I just ask him a question instead, "Why do you love me?"

"What?" I don't think he was expecting that as his eyes widened and he pulled away even more. Then his eyes narrowed, "You're serious, aren't you?" I nod and remain quiet, curious as to how he would answer me. Taichi turned thoughtful, then brushed a hand over my cheek, "I love you because... well, it's hard to explain, it's just everything about you that I love. You're beautiful, and sensitive... thoughtful... and intriguing, and caring... and... and you love me. You're my Angel, I really can't tell you how much you mean to me, it's more than any words could describe. You, Yama-chan, are very special to me. Why did you want to know?" The light in his chocolate eyes showed me how much he meant everything he just said. I don't understand it... how does he see anything like that in me? I just... I just don't understand.

"I was... just wondering if... if you ever..." I stutter, then pull away from him completely, burying my head once more in my knees. I'm doubting Taichi, my koi, isn't that a big no in a relationship? Doubt just leads to distrust and then fighting and finally a split up. I don't want to lose him, I love him too much.

The silence is deafening, and I know Taichi is probably beating himself up right now over trying to figure out what he did wrong. Finally I hear him shift, then feel a light hand brush through my messy hair, "Oh Yama... I never stopped loving you for even a second. It was an accident, why should I blame you?" He sighs when I don't answer and rubs my back a little. I wish I understood love, how it works, how it keeps us together in even the toughest times. And Taichi... Taichi's just one of a kind. I'm sure anyone else would have given up on me by now with the way my moods just seem to appear out of nowhere with no predictability. I'm a mess... and he's still here for me. How can I doubt love like that? "I'm sorry Yama-chan... do you... do you want me to go?"

"Go?! No!" I look up in shock to find him staring at me with watery eyes, his other hand trying to dig into the floor beside him. His face is tight with trying to hide his emotions, but his eyes are wide with confusion and pain. "Why...? Why would you want to go?" My voice is choked. Maybe I was wrong, maybe he really did doubt.

I guess the meaning of my question got through to him as he suddenly cursed and shook his head, "No... no I don't want to leave you. I just thought... just thought maybe you were upset with me." He looks down to study the tiled floor and mumbles, "It's not like I'm much of a help to you anyway..."

Not much of a help? Where the hell has he been all this time? He's the only one who'd gotten me out of my depression and fears alive! "That's... that's not true. You're wrong Taichi. Don't say that..."

"But Yama-chan, I haven't-" He tried to explain, but I quickly cut him off.

"No! I don't want to hear it! Just shut up!" My voice is definitely not a whisper now. My irritated side is taking over again. I'm just so damned tired. Man... I really am. I must have been out here longer than I thought, and all this emotional stuff is really draining me. I stand up to storm back to my room, but sit right back down as a dizzy wave hits me. My head's throbbing again. I had mostly gotten rid of those horrible headaches, but I guess the beating in the head that I took yesterday didn't help the situation at all. "I'm sorry Taichi," I suddenly sob, feeling bad for yelling at him. He was just telling me how he felt, I had no right to refuse to listen to him. Holding my aching head in my hands, I miserably stare at the floor with watering eyes, "I-I didn't mean to... to d-doubt you..."

Taichi is silent for awhile, and I'm starting to believe that he's going to just leave me again, it's the least I deserve. But before my fears could get too strong, I'm back in his strong arms, feeling safe once again. Taichi'll stay, he'll protect me. He's more of a help than he knows. "Shh... it's okay. I won't leave... remember, I promised?" He rocks me a bit, before I realize what he had said.

Promise... ring... oh no... "The ring!" I push myself up out of his arms once again, ignoring the pounding in my head and stare at my fingers in horror. I had forgotten... it must have broke... when I was fighting. Oh no, please no. It broke, the promise broke! With a frantic cry I start running down the hall, maybe it didn't break, maybe it just slipped off. I've got to find it, I've just got to. It means a lot to me, I can't lose it. Oh Taichi, I'm sorry, I forgot. Taichi's yell follows me, but I can't stop. Breathing hard, unnoticed tears running in torrents down my face, I race past the front desk and a startled nurse and skid into the front door. I can't get through it! It's locked, they fucking locked the doors! What am I going to do? Let me out, I have to get that ring back, Taichi will never forgive me!

Pounding on the door, I slip to my knees as a sharp headache starts to wear me down. "Yama... Yama-chan... what... what the hell... is going on?" Taichi pants behind me as I'm dragged away from the door and cradled in his arms once again. I try to struggle for only a second before giving in. It's gone... I'm not going to get it back. How could I be so careless? I curl up tighter into Taichi's body, sobbing apologies while trying to gain some sense. Stupid headache, I can't think. "Yama-chan... angel... I don't understand. What're you so upset over? Come on, quit this and talk to me, please?" Unable to answer out loud with the turmoil that was going on in my head, I just hold up my hand to him, showing him my empty finger, "What... oh. Oh... Yama-chan, it was just a ring, an object. I can get you a new one if it means that much to you." He's right, just a ring, a stupid, pointless, useless ring... which I had loved to wear. When I stay quiet, trembling against his embrace, Taichi moves his arms and lifts me up, cradling me against his chest, "I'm bringing you back to bed Angel, you're exhausted. Everything will seem so much better when you've had a good sleep, okay?"

"Hai," I answer softly, hugging him tighter around the shoulders. I am really tired, and maybe some sleep will get rid of this damned headache as well. I'm carried back past the confused looking nurse, and to my room where I'm gently laid back on my bed. I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

(A/N) Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I'll keep going on this ^_^
HAVE A GREAT SUMMER EVERYONE!! I'll be back to writing by the end of August most likely, see ya!