Vanyel sighed, he had thought that by talking only to Selenay that he
would have escaped the third degree, but she had so many questions. He
couldn't even answer some of them. He was feeling very ill again and just
wanted to spend some time with 'Lendel, to try to figure things out, but he
did not want to send Selenay away. She was the Queen after all, and she had
a right to ask her questions.
Finally to Van's surprise, 'Lendel spoke up, "I don't mean to seem rude, but I think Van needs to get some more rest, he's answered all of your questions that he could." Selenay nodded, "You are right, and I am very sorry. I did not realize how much time has passed. Vanyel, thank you. I will, no doubt, have more questions, but for now you should just rest. I will keep you updated on what happens." Vanyel nodded, and held open the door for Selenay, and she left. No doubt she was going to have to go straight to Council.
Vanyel turned to 'Lendel after he closed the door behind Selenay. "Thank you. I didn't want to seem rude to send her away." 'Lendel smiled slightly. "Good thing I don't care about that kind of thing, huh?" Vanyel smiled and sat next to 'Lendel. 'Lendel put his head on Vanyel's shoulder. "Actually I could tell that you aren't feeling well, and your health has to come before protocol. I will make sure of it." Vanyel looked at 'Lendel, he had sounded so determined. There was a look of fierce determination in his eyes as well. A look that even the pain reflected there could not hide. Vanyel actually pitied anyone that got in 'Lendel's way.
Vanyel brushed a blonde curl off of 'Lendel's forehead, "I.I missed you." 'Lendel looked at him. "I'm sorry, ashke." Vanyel hugged him. "I love you, 'Lendel."
'Lendel hugged him tightly. "I love you too, Van." He pulled away, "You should get some more rest now."
Vanyel sighed, he knew 'Lendel was right, he just didn't want to go back to sleep. "Stay with me?" He asked quietly. 'Lendel nodded, "Nothing could make me leave." Vanyel nodded and got comfortable on the bed. 'Lendel looked at him, and then curled up next to him.
* * *
Talia was smiling as she walked toward the House of Healing. She had just come from seeing Dirk. No matter how down she got, he always managed to lift her spirits. I guess that is what comes from being lifebonded to someone. She thought to herself. She smiled again. Dirk might not be the best-looking person in the world, but he was most definitely the sweetest. She loved him more with every moment she spent with him. The only one that had even remotely come close was Kris, and that had been more like a best- friend, brother-sister relationship. She stopped smiling, for Kris had died, and she had come very close. She shook her head and tried to drive away those memories.
She was on her way to see how Vanyel was doing. It had been a few days, and Rolan assured her that it was not an inopportune time to visit him. She knocked on the door and he called for her to come in. She entered with a smile, not surprised to see 'Lendel with him. "I came to see how you were doing." Vanyel looked up, "Quite a bit better, actually." He told her. He had been having a discussion with 'Lendel about what had happened to each of them after 'Lendel had died. Well, Vanyel was talking, 'Lendel was unusually quiet. And that worried Vanyel. He was more worried about 'Lendel than he was about himself.
Talia nodded, "That's good." She looked at 'Lendel, "And how are you doing?" She knew about what had happened to him, but he really hadn't spoken to anyone so she really didn't know what had happened after his suicide. 'Lendel looked at her. "Fine." Talia frowned. He was obviously not talking to Vanyel either, by the concerned look on Vanyel's face. She looked at him. "Are you really? Or are you just saying that so no one worries?" 'Lendel looked a bit surprised but repeated that he was fine. She was about to say something else, but a look from Vanyel stopped her. She sighed. "Alright. I guess I'll let you talk. If either of you needs anything just call." Vanyel nodded and thanked her. She nodded and left, quite disturbed.
* * *
Vanyel looked at 'Lendel. "Will you please talk to me?" He asked once again. 'Lendel just looked at him. "I don't know what to tell you." Vanyel got quiet. It was kind of strange for Vanyel to be the one trying to get him to open up instead of the other way around. 'Lendel sighed; he really didn't know what to say. He remembered the things that Van told him about Stef.as if he was there.If what Van said was true, he was there as Stefen. He looked down. It was all so confusing. He wished, once again, that he had Gala to talk to. He knew she would have been able to help him. He sighed. It had been his own fault that she had repudiated him. Because of his need for revenge.they did not understand that he had promised Staven in those last moments.
He felt the tears welling up again, but quickly swallowed them. He didn't want to cry again, tears didn't help or change anything. Suddenly Vanyel looked at him, "It's alright to cry. No one will see you except me, and I definitely won't think any the worse of you for it." 'Lendel just looked at him. He would think the worse of himself. He had cried enough for a lifetime, and nothing had changed. Vanyel wanted him to talk to him, but did he really know what he was asking for?
"You really want me to talk to you? You want me to tell you how I'm feeling?" He asked more coldly than he had intended. Vanyel winced at his tone but nodded. "I do." 'Lendel sighed again. "Alright. How I'm feeling is guilty, and confused. I know it was my fault I was repudiated, and then I made things even worse when I." He couldn't say the word died. "And I know I made it worse for you as well. I've been told that you tried to kill yourself after.and then Yfandes Chose you. But I do remember the things you've told me about you and Stefen.I guess I really was him.I don't know how I came here as me.I don't know what's going on.I don't even really know you anymore. I keep seeing you as the Vanyel I remember, and then the one Stefen remembers." He trailed off and looked down.
Vanyel remained quiet for a few moments. This was definitely confusing. He had known Stef was 'Lendel returned to him. But he didn't know how to deal with 'Lendel sitting right in front of him, telling him he remembered being Stef. "I don't know what to tell you.it's all so confusing. I am so glad you're here with me. Even if you don't know what's going on any more than I do."
'Lendel looked at him. He hadn't told him that it wasn't his fault he had been repudiated, even though that had been what he was expecting. He knew it was his fault, and he had deserved what he got. He was actually surprised they had let him in the palace. He had found out that he was the only Herald in Valdemar's history to be repudiated. They probably used him as an example or something like that. 'Don't do this or you'll end up repudiated like Tylendel Frelennye.' He imagined them saying. He felt the tears again. It wasn't fair. But then life wasn't fair. He of all people should know that. He had also read some of the histories about Vanyel. He knew some of them were true, due to his memories of being Stefen. He couldn't believe how some of the tales got so twisted though. He was surprised there weren't any tales about himself, but then he wasn't the greatest Herald-Mage in history. Vanyel was. He looked at Vanyel again. Most of his tales were good, they had made him out to be the hero he was. He could just imagine if there were any about himself. He didn't want to even think about that.
"I don't know if I'm exactly glad I'm here, but if I have to be here, I'm glad you're with me." He told Vanyel. Vanyel smiled slightly and hugged him. "I missed you so much.and I will help you however I can. Though I'm not sure if I can really do anything." 'Lendel hugged back, but didn't reply. He didn't think anyone could do anything for him.
: You're doing well, love. If anything can help him, being with you might. : Yfandes told Vanyel. : I hope so. It hurts me to see him hurting so. : He replied. He felt a wave of love and reassurance from her. : I know, love. : She replied. He sighed and looked at 'Lendel. He had been watching him. 'Lendel looked at him, "What did 'Fandes say?" Vanyel told him and he sighed. "I guess it does help a little, being with you." He hesitated and looked down. "Can.can we go see 'Fandes?" He asked quietly. Vanyel looked at him in surprise. "You want to?" 'Lendel nodded. : You don't mind, do you love? : Vanyel asked Yfandes. Her reply was a definite. Of course she didn't mind. Vanyel looked at 'Lendel again. "Alright."
* * *
A few minutes later, they stood in Companions Field with Yfandes. 'Lendel was very quiet and Vanyel wondered why he had wanted to go and see 'Fandes.
"I'm not sure why I wanted to come see her." 'Lendel answered Vanyel's unspoken question. "I just.if I can't see Gala, I guess.I just wanted to see the next best thing.not that Yfandes is second best." He added quickly, looking at Yfandes.
Yfandes nuzzled 'Lendel. : Tell him I know, love. And I understand. That I'll help him however I can. : Vanyel relayed that to 'Lendel. He smiled slightly. "Thank you." Vanyel hugged him. "We're here for you, 'Lendel. We'll both help you if we can." 'Lendel hugged back, but didn't respond.
Finally to Van's surprise, 'Lendel spoke up, "I don't mean to seem rude, but I think Van needs to get some more rest, he's answered all of your questions that he could." Selenay nodded, "You are right, and I am very sorry. I did not realize how much time has passed. Vanyel, thank you. I will, no doubt, have more questions, but for now you should just rest. I will keep you updated on what happens." Vanyel nodded, and held open the door for Selenay, and she left. No doubt she was going to have to go straight to Council.
Vanyel turned to 'Lendel after he closed the door behind Selenay. "Thank you. I didn't want to seem rude to send her away." 'Lendel smiled slightly. "Good thing I don't care about that kind of thing, huh?" Vanyel smiled and sat next to 'Lendel. 'Lendel put his head on Vanyel's shoulder. "Actually I could tell that you aren't feeling well, and your health has to come before protocol. I will make sure of it." Vanyel looked at 'Lendel, he had sounded so determined. There was a look of fierce determination in his eyes as well. A look that even the pain reflected there could not hide. Vanyel actually pitied anyone that got in 'Lendel's way.
Vanyel brushed a blonde curl off of 'Lendel's forehead, "I.I missed you." 'Lendel looked at him. "I'm sorry, ashke." Vanyel hugged him. "I love you, 'Lendel."
'Lendel hugged him tightly. "I love you too, Van." He pulled away, "You should get some more rest now."
Vanyel sighed, he knew 'Lendel was right, he just didn't want to go back to sleep. "Stay with me?" He asked quietly. 'Lendel nodded, "Nothing could make me leave." Vanyel nodded and got comfortable on the bed. 'Lendel looked at him, and then curled up next to him.
* * *
Talia was smiling as she walked toward the House of Healing. She had just come from seeing Dirk. No matter how down she got, he always managed to lift her spirits. I guess that is what comes from being lifebonded to someone. She thought to herself. She smiled again. Dirk might not be the best-looking person in the world, but he was most definitely the sweetest. She loved him more with every moment she spent with him. The only one that had even remotely come close was Kris, and that had been more like a best- friend, brother-sister relationship. She stopped smiling, for Kris had died, and she had come very close. She shook her head and tried to drive away those memories.
She was on her way to see how Vanyel was doing. It had been a few days, and Rolan assured her that it was not an inopportune time to visit him. She knocked on the door and he called for her to come in. She entered with a smile, not surprised to see 'Lendel with him. "I came to see how you were doing." Vanyel looked up, "Quite a bit better, actually." He told her. He had been having a discussion with 'Lendel about what had happened to each of them after 'Lendel had died. Well, Vanyel was talking, 'Lendel was unusually quiet. And that worried Vanyel. He was more worried about 'Lendel than he was about himself.
Talia nodded, "That's good." She looked at 'Lendel, "And how are you doing?" She knew about what had happened to him, but he really hadn't spoken to anyone so she really didn't know what had happened after his suicide. 'Lendel looked at her. "Fine." Talia frowned. He was obviously not talking to Vanyel either, by the concerned look on Vanyel's face. She looked at him. "Are you really? Or are you just saying that so no one worries?" 'Lendel looked a bit surprised but repeated that he was fine. She was about to say something else, but a look from Vanyel stopped her. She sighed. "Alright. I guess I'll let you talk. If either of you needs anything just call." Vanyel nodded and thanked her. She nodded and left, quite disturbed.
* * *
Vanyel looked at 'Lendel. "Will you please talk to me?" He asked once again. 'Lendel just looked at him. "I don't know what to tell you." Vanyel got quiet. It was kind of strange for Vanyel to be the one trying to get him to open up instead of the other way around. 'Lendel sighed; he really didn't know what to say. He remembered the things that Van told him about Stef.as if he was there.If what Van said was true, he was there as Stefen. He looked down. It was all so confusing. He wished, once again, that he had Gala to talk to. He knew she would have been able to help him. He sighed. It had been his own fault that she had repudiated him. Because of his need for revenge.they did not understand that he had promised Staven in those last moments.
He felt the tears welling up again, but quickly swallowed them. He didn't want to cry again, tears didn't help or change anything. Suddenly Vanyel looked at him, "It's alright to cry. No one will see you except me, and I definitely won't think any the worse of you for it." 'Lendel just looked at him. He would think the worse of himself. He had cried enough for a lifetime, and nothing had changed. Vanyel wanted him to talk to him, but did he really know what he was asking for?
"You really want me to talk to you? You want me to tell you how I'm feeling?" He asked more coldly than he had intended. Vanyel winced at his tone but nodded. "I do." 'Lendel sighed again. "Alright. How I'm feeling is guilty, and confused. I know it was my fault I was repudiated, and then I made things even worse when I." He couldn't say the word died. "And I know I made it worse for you as well. I've been told that you tried to kill yourself after.and then Yfandes Chose you. But I do remember the things you've told me about you and Stefen.I guess I really was him.I don't know how I came here as me.I don't know what's going on.I don't even really know you anymore. I keep seeing you as the Vanyel I remember, and then the one Stefen remembers." He trailed off and looked down.
Vanyel remained quiet for a few moments. This was definitely confusing. He had known Stef was 'Lendel returned to him. But he didn't know how to deal with 'Lendel sitting right in front of him, telling him he remembered being Stef. "I don't know what to tell you.it's all so confusing. I am so glad you're here with me. Even if you don't know what's going on any more than I do."
'Lendel looked at him. He hadn't told him that it wasn't his fault he had been repudiated, even though that had been what he was expecting. He knew it was his fault, and he had deserved what he got. He was actually surprised they had let him in the palace. He had found out that he was the only Herald in Valdemar's history to be repudiated. They probably used him as an example or something like that. 'Don't do this or you'll end up repudiated like Tylendel Frelennye.' He imagined them saying. He felt the tears again. It wasn't fair. But then life wasn't fair. He of all people should know that. He had also read some of the histories about Vanyel. He knew some of them were true, due to his memories of being Stefen. He couldn't believe how some of the tales got so twisted though. He was surprised there weren't any tales about himself, but then he wasn't the greatest Herald-Mage in history. Vanyel was. He looked at Vanyel again. Most of his tales were good, they had made him out to be the hero he was. He could just imagine if there were any about himself. He didn't want to even think about that.
"I don't know if I'm exactly glad I'm here, but if I have to be here, I'm glad you're with me." He told Vanyel. Vanyel smiled slightly and hugged him. "I missed you so much.and I will help you however I can. Though I'm not sure if I can really do anything." 'Lendel hugged back, but didn't reply. He didn't think anyone could do anything for him.
: You're doing well, love. If anything can help him, being with you might. : Yfandes told Vanyel. : I hope so. It hurts me to see him hurting so. : He replied. He felt a wave of love and reassurance from her. : I know, love. : She replied. He sighed and looked at 'Lendel. He had been watching him. 'Lendel looked at him, "What did 'Fandes say?" Vanyel told him and he sighed. "I guess it does help a little, being with you." He hesitated and looked down. "Can.can we go see 'Fandes?" He asked quietly. Vanyel looked at him in surprise. "You want to?" 'Lendel nodded. : You don't mind, do you love? : Vanyel asked Yfandes. Her reply was a definite. Of course she didn't mind. Vanyel looked at 'Lendel again. "Alright."
* * *
A few minutes later, they stood in Companions Field with Yfandes. 'Lendel was very quiet and Vanyel wondered why he had wanted to go and see 'Fandes.
"I'm not sure why I wanted to come see her." 'Lendel answered Vanyel's unspoken question. "I just.if I can't see Gala, I guess.I just wanted to see the next best thing.not that Yfandes is second best." He added quickly, looking at Yfandes.
Yfandes nuzzled 'Lendel. : Tell him I know, love. And I understand. That I'll help him however I can. : Vanyel relayed that to 'Lendel. He smiled slightly. "Thank you." Vanyel hugged him. "We're here for you, 'Lendel. We'll both help you if we can." 'Lendel hugged back, but didn't respond.
