December 05, 2001
(Tad enters, seeing Dixie sitting on their brown leather sofa, turned away from him, crying softly)
"Dixie?"
Turning around sharply, she wiped her eyes and sniffled. "Tad...wh-what are you doing here?"
"I came to see what you decided to do about JR...what's wrong?"
"Nothing, really. What I decide to do about JR is between he, Adam, and I. Not you." She sniffled again, touching up her eyes.
"Dix, I...I..don't understand you--"
"You wouldn't Tad, you're only concerned with yourself."
"You know that's not true. You know I love JR...you know I love you."
She looked down, her eyes watering again. "I think you should go."
"No, Dix. I want you to have it out with me--tell me you don't love me, tell me."
Slowly, she lifted her head, tears streaming down her face. "I...I can't Tad."
"Dixie, tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong Tad."
"Why are you crying?"
"People do that. Sometimes people cry, okay?" He sat down on the couch beside her, reaching out for her hand.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Tad. It's all over, there's nothing to be sorry for anymore. I was just...I just got a Christmas card from Hayley and Mateo and...their beautiful baby and I...oh, Tad." She looked into his eyes and fell up against his chest. He slowly put his arm around her. "That could've been us."
His head dropped to her shoulder. "The baby..."
"I'm sorry, Tad. I'm sorry she's not here--she should be...she was my little girl." He held her tightly.
"It's not your fault, Dix--"
"But she was everything, Tad. She was everything you and I ever meant to each other, anything we ever said or did. Every time we made love she was it...my heart, my soul."
His eyes began to water. "Baby..."
"You'll never know how much I love you, Tad. How much you hurt me when you...you make me do this." She sat up, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I don't sleep at night because I'm worrying about JR and when I'm not worrying about JR, I'm worrying about you. I wonder where you're sleeping, what you're thinking...if you'll ever come back, if you'll keep trying. I cry myself to sleep at night remembering the baby, I dream of what it might've been like...that day repeats itself so many times."
He held her hand. "Dixie, I love you so much. Always. From the first day at Myrtle's, to the day you had JR, to Laurel Hill, through all three wedding days and the times between...to right now and forever. I'll never love anyone as much as I love you. There's nothing I can do to change that. You make me more than I am. Without you I might as well give up living because I just can't...I can't make it without you."
"What're we gonna do, Tad?"
"I don't know. I'm just...I tried to hard to take all the obstacles out of our life. I didn't want you to ever have to worry about Hayward and what he might do to our family. I can't live like that...I can't live not knowing."
"How do you explain bringing Leslie Coulson back?"
He looked down. "I can't. She was never supposed to be here. I never knew. I...didn't know what would happen--"
"You don't remember last year? She threw me over a balcony, Tad. I could've died--"
"Dixie, I know! I think I prayed to God more times, and more honestly than I ever have that night. I wanted you back...away from David, away from Leslie and it was all running too fast. I...I thought the only thing that could cripple David would be Leslie. It was supposed to be a phone call..."
"You told me she was locked up."
"I lied. I never knew the extent to which...Dixie, Pam begged me to let her take care of Leslie. We didn't have any problems, how was I to know?"
"Are you defending it?"
"I'm only..." he paused briefly. "I only wanted everything to work out. I didn't want anyone locked up, I wanted us to be happy...to be in love and be happy...Dix, we've never had that for too long. It's always taken away from us. I just...I wanted to love you and have you all to myself. I lied...and I'm sorry."
She began crying again.
"What about JR?"
"He...I don't know that he can get past it, Dix."
"I know. It's my fault, Tad...I made him hate you. I shouldn't have."
"You didn't make him hate me. He's protecting his mother, he has to. I know that role all too well. I'd protect my mother in a heartbeat, from anyone."
"Oh, Tad. He's so messed up...I don't know what to do. I can't listen to Adam because...he's Adam and the only person I'd trust with my son is...you."
"Dixie, we'll find a way around it. We always do."
"I love you, Tad."
"I love you, Dix."
Together, Forever.
(Tad enters, seeing Dixie sitting on their brown leather sofa, turned away from him, crying softly)
"Dixie?"
Turning around sharply, she wiped her eyes and sniffled. "Tad...wh-what are you doing here?"
"I came to see what you decided to do about JR...what's wrong?"
"Nothing, really. What I decide to do about JR is between he, Adam, and I. Not you." She sniffled again, touching up her eyes.
"Dix, I...I..don't understand you--"
"You wouldn't Tad, you're only concerned with yourself."
"You know that's not true. You know I love JR...you know I love you."
She looked down, her eyes watering again. "I think you should go."
"No, Dix. I want you to have it out with me--tell me you don't love me, tell me."
Slowly, she lifted her head, tears streaming down her face. "I...I can't Tad."
"Dixie, tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong Tad."
"Why are you crying?"
"People do that. Sometimes people cry, okay?" He sat down on the couch beside her, reaching out for her hand.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Tad. It's all over, there's nothing to be sorry for anymore. I was just...I just got a Christmas card from Hayley and Mateo and...their beautiful baby and I...oh, Tad." She looked into his eyes and fell up against his chest. He slowly put his arm around her. "That could've been us."
His head dropped to her shoulder. "The baby..."
"I'm sorry, Tad. I'm sorry she's not here--she should be...she was my little girl." He held her tightly.
"It's not your fault, Dix--"
"But she was everything, Tad. She was everything you and I ever meant to each other, anything we ever said or did. Every time we made love she was it...my heart, my soul."
His eyes began to water. "Baby..."
"You'll never know how much I love you, Tad. How much you hurt me when you...you make me do this." She sat up, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I don't sleep at night because I'm worrying about JR and when I'm not worrying about JR, I'm worrying about you. I wonder where you're sleeping, what you're thinking...if you'll ever come back, if you'll keep trying. I cry myself to sleep at night remembering the baby, I dream of what it might've been like...that day repeats itself so many times."
He held her hand. "Dixie, I love you so much. Always. From the first day at Myrtle's, to the day you had JR, to Laurel Hill, through all three wedding days and the times between...to right now and forever. I'll never love anyone as much as I love you. There's nothing I can do to change that. You make me more than I am. Without you I might as well give up living because I just can't...I can't make it without you."
"What're we gonna do, Tad?"
"I don't know. I'm just...I tried to hard to take all the obstacles out of our life. I didn't want you to ever have to worry about Hayward and what he might do to our family. I can't live like that...I can't live not knowing."
"How do you explain bringing Leslie Coulson back?"
He looked down. "I can't. She was never supposed to be here. I never knew. I...didn't know what would happen--"
"You don't remember last year? She threw me over a balcony, Tad. I could've died--"
"Dixie, I know! I think I prayed to God more times, and more honestly than I ever have that night. I wanted you back...away from David, away from Leslie and it was all running too fast. I...I thought the only thing that could cripple David would be Leslie. It was supposed to be a phone call..."
"You told me she was locked up."
"I lied. I never knew the extent to which...Dixie, Pam begged me to let her take care of Leslie. We didn't have any problems, how was I to know?"
"Are you defending it?"
"I'm only..." he paused briefly. "I only wanted everything to work out. I didn't want anyone locked up, I wanted us to be happy...to be in love and be happy...Dix, we've never had that for too long. It's always taken away from us. I just...I wanted to love you and have you all to myself. I lied...and I'm sorry."
She began crying again.
"What about JR?"
"He...I don't know that he can get past it, Dix."
"I know. It's my fault, Tad...I made him hate you. I shouldn't have."
"You didn't make him hate me. He's protecting his mother, he has to. I know that role all too well. I'd protect my mother in a heartbeat, from anyone."
"Oh, Tad. He's so messed up...I don't know what to do. I can't listen to Adam because...he's Adam and the only person I'd trust with my son is...you."
"Dixie, we'll find a way around it. We always do."
"I love you, Tad."
"I love you, Dix."
Together, Forever.
