Becci 'D': Hi ya all! Just going to say that I do not own digimon! The only thing I own is my screwed up mind! Anyway if you see this ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It means it is a change of scenery! And the whole story is in Tai's pov! In addition, just to warn you this is a Taito. Therefore, gay content is in this story. That's it for now! You don't want to hear me keep babbling. So, read on!
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What Decision?
It was lunchtime and I was sitting by myself in the canteen waiting for my friends. I was observing the people around me. As I looked around my gaze came upon the group in the corner. There were three lads and two girls. Nothing unusual you think? However, the thing was they were all gay. Everyone in the school always call them names like 'faggot' or 'dikes' but the truth is I was wondering shall I join them? I have been having strange feelings recently towards guys. So, that means I must be gay? Or is it a phase I'm going through? I have always had interests in girls but they don't seem that fun anymore! I thought Sora was the one for me but I was wrong. It was just crush. I was only 11 for crying out loud! I did not know what love was, not really. However, as I looked at them one of the boys saw me and rudely stuck his finger up at me. It caught me by surprised I didn't expect him to do that. Therefore, I looked away when I saw my friends coming towards me.
"Yo Taichi!" greeted Matt as he sat down.
"Hey Matt, Sora, Iz" I greeted back to them all.
"Hey Tai" replied Sora and Izzy.
"So, what took you guys so long?" I asked.
"Blame Sora here. She had to use the ladies room" smiled Matt as Sora hit him on the arm.
"Ah, did nature call or was it Miss-change-my-pad-time!?" I laughed, as did Matt.
"You guys are so disgusting!" Izzy cringed.
"I totally agree!" Sora huffed.
"Come on! It is a fact of life! I here you girls talking about it all the time!" said Matt.
"True but at least were sensible unlike SOME people" said Sora.
"Do you mind! I'm trying to eat here!" Izzy said as he took a bite out of his sandwich.
"Tai, I heard a little rumour about you" Matt said changing the subject.
"WHAT!?" I panicked. Matt then leaned over and whispered in my ear.
"Excuse me!?" I said. I was a relieved though cause I thought he was going to mention something else.
"So is it true?" smirked Matt.
"No way! Where on earth did you hear a thing like that!?" I asked.
"I was pulling your leg! Dumb ass! You're so gullible!" Matt burst out laughing. I sighed a sound of relief again.
"What's your last period?" I asked changing the subject and Sora glared at me. I soon realised what I said.
"I don't mean that! I meant your last lesson!" I correct before I got an ear full.
"Oh, I've got textiles" replied Sora.
"I've got information computer technology" Izzy smiled.
"That's a mouth full!" I smiled " you could of just said I.C.T!"
"Well because of how small your brain is Tai I thought I should use the full term!" said Izzy.
"Haha! Very funny!" I retorted back.
"Well Tai you have Maths with me" Matt said as slapped my back.
"Lucky me" I replied as Matt gave me a jokingly glare. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
"Well guys, it was nice eating lunch but I have to be off. The 'I.C.T' teacher needs my help!" Izzy said getting up.
"What doe's 'I.C.T' stand for?" Matt asked jokingly. Izzy just rolled his eyes. "See you later"
"Bye Izzy" said Sora.
"Yeah, later Iz" I said as he left the canteen.
"What's the time?" Matt asked.
"Err, almost registration" I said looking at my watch.
"Do you want to get some fresh air? Cause it's really stuffy in here" asked Matt.
"Yeah sure" agreed Sora as she and Matt got up. I stayed sitting down.
"Are you coming Tai?" asked Matt and I still remand in my sit.
"Err, no I want to stay here. I catch you guys later" I said as Matt shrugged.
"Ok then" he said as he left with Sora.
I sat by my self again. I found my self looking at the gays again. I wanted to get this feeling of my chest but I was to scared on how my friends would react. Or the fact I would be picked on. The group started to get up and as they walked for the door some one shouted 'Faggots' at them. I grabbed my bag and got up to follow them. I don't know why but I just wanted to. I followed them down the corridor and the boy who stuck his finger up at me went in the boy's loos. I followed him in and as I did so, his group gave me funny looks. But I just ignored it. The thing was, wherever they were standing, sitting or whatever, no one straight went near them. I didn't need to go but I still went in. I saw the boy washing his hands and he looked up at me.
"Umm, sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to stare" I apologised as I sweatdropped. The boy raised an eyebrow then he smiled.
"It's ok, it's just when people stare it gets me angry" he said as he dried his hands. "My name's Josh"
"I'm Tai" I said nervously. I didn't know why I was so nervous. He was only introducing himself.
"I know who you are, your like the most popular guy around!" said Josh.
"Thanks, I'm not like that popular" I said.
"Your are when it comes to soccer" He smiled "Well I catch you later, my friends are properly wondering what's happened?"
"Yeah, bye" I said as Josh left the bathroom. There that weren't so bad. Gay's are really quite nice people! I thought to myself. I came out of the bathroom and I saw Josh and his mates walk around the corner.
"What did he want!?" asked one of the girls.
"He apologised for staring" replied Josh.
"He never? What you mean you had a decent conversation with Taichi Kamiya!?" the girl said shocked.
"Yeah, he even shook my hand when I introduced myself" smiled Josh.
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I was sitting in boring Maths lesson next to Matt. He kept making me laugh at the jokes he kept telling, which got us in trouble. I sat second from the back and behind me sat one of Josh's friends. Matt nudged me with his elbow.
"I think you've pulled!" he said as he winked. I looked at him blankly. Then he motioned to turn round. So I looked round and Josh's friend was staring at me. I turned round at Matt and he had a smile creeping up on his face.
"What!?" I mouthed at him. He just smiled again and mouthed "Lover boy". I picked up his bag and shoved it at him, which made him fall of his sit. I burst out laughing, as did the rest of the class. The teacher got angry again.
"YAMATO ISHIDA! TAICHI KAMIYA! OUT SIDE NOW!" he shouted as I helped Matt up and we both left the classroom in laughter.
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It was now late after school because Matt and me got an after school detention for causing havoc in the class. This wasn't unusual for us. Matt had gone his way home and I was on my way home. When I got in, I had a lecture from my mother. She said 'I should have called to let her know where I was!'. I soon got myself in the clear when I explained everything. She just rolled her eyes at me and said 'I've should of known!'
I jumped onto my bed and just laid their thinking. I was trying to decide if I was gay or not? I couldn't be gay!? I mean it's wrong. It's not right. But what is right? I brushed it off my mind and tried to think of something else.
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(Next day: school)
I was in the boy's lavatory washing my hands when Josh and his other two friends came in.
"Hi Tai" greeted Josh.
"Hi Josh" I greeted back.
"I haven't introduced you to my friends, this is Danny" he said as he pointed to a dark hared boy who was looking at me in a very uncomfortable way! "And this is Sam". He also was looking at me in an uncomfortable way. I started to freak out a little.
"Umm, hi" I said rather stupidly.
"So what makes one of the popular guys become friends with us?" asked Sam.
"Err, I don't know? What's the difference of being straight or bent? Were all human!" I replied nervously. I didn't know why I was. Probably the GAY atmosphere.
"It's nice to meet ya! Ruby and Valerie are waiting out side" said Danny.
"Yeah, nice to meet you too" I replied as I shock his hand. "Well I have to be off, so I see you guys later"
"Ok then Tai, see ya!" said Josh as I headed for the door. As I did, Danny winked at me. This made me feel uneasy.
When I walked out the door the two girls Sam mentioned smiled at me and I smiled ratherly fake.
I quickly walked past them and to my embarrassment Matt, Sora, and Izzy were all standing there watching me!
"What happened in there? Actually I don't won't to know!" said Sora.
"Absolutely nothing!" I blurted out. Matt raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Sure it never!?"
"It's the truth! I swear!" I said trying to convince them, I was innocent.
"Tai something strange is going on? Since when do you talk to faggots?" asked Izzy.
"They spoke to me!" I corrected which wasn't 100% correct.
"Looks like Tai has got himself a fan club!" laughed Matt as I glared at him. Maybe I have but I wish you could join me? WAIT A MINUTE! What the hell was I thinking!? I am not gay! On the other hand, am I?
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"Did you hear about Tai?" asked a blond hair girl.
"Do you mean the thing about being gay?" replied the other girl.
"Yeah, I can't believe it! I swear his made a couple of passes towards me!" said the bond girl disappointed.
"In your dreams girl! The guy is G-A-Y!" said her friend.
"Why is it all the handsome guys are gay!? It's not fair! I bet Tai's best mate Matt is gay too!" wined the blond girl.
"Maybe but Tai is defiantly gay!" gossiped the snotty girl.
"EXCUSE ME!?" said Sora angrily.
"Oh! Hi Sora" girl said embarrassed.
"What's this about Tai?" Sora asked.
"Is it true? Is Tai gay?" asked the blond girl.
"I don't know! I mean NO! He's not!" replied Sora even more angrily.
"You're not even sure! So how can you say NO his NOT!?" said the snotty girl.
"Cause he's my best friend! I've known him practically all my life! I think I know if his bent or not!" answered Sora.
"Yeah! Sora's right! Tai can't be gay! He's too cute!" said the blond girl.
At this, point Tai was walking over to them and the snotty girl looked up then whispered in her friend's ear.
"Come on we have to go before we catch the faggots disease!" she said as she pushed her friend to leave.
Tai was standing behind Sora and looked at the two girls' strangely.
"FAGGOT!" She said as she walked past. I looked at Sora blankly.
"What was that about?" I asked her.
"Tai, there's something I have to ask you" said Sora as I looked at her confused.
"Are you? I mean, do you like boys?" asked Sora. I was shocked!
"NO! What makes you think that!?" I refused.
"There's been a rumour going around that your gay. Cause you've been talking to the queers" replied Sora.
"So? Doesn't mean I'm gay! They happen to be nice people" I explained.
"Well if you say so" hesitated Sora.
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I couldn't believe it! The whole school was gossiping about me. How I am meant to be gay! I cannot see what all the fuss is about. I AM NOT GAY! But am I lying to myself? Alternatively, to the whole world?
I was interrupted from my thoughts from the teacher yelling my name. I looked away from the window and looked at the teacher blankly.
"I'm glad to have you back Tai" said the teacher as the class laughed at me. I just smiled embarrassed and Izzy raised an eyebrow at me.
"What!?" I said as he just shrugged and paid attention to the teacher. However, I was going into one of my own daydreams again.
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"Tai? You Who Tai? TAI!" someone shouted as I woke up imeadiatley. I looked around the room until my eyes came in to focus with Izzy and the teacher staring at me. The rest of the class was no where in site.
"It's about time! Now I know why your always late for school!" said Izzy. I just looked at him tiredly.
"Izzy may you leave the classroom please I would like to talk to Taichi here" asked the teacher as I gulped. Izzy happily left the classroom and left me to face the bruin hell.
"Tai, is there something wrong? Because this is the first time, you have fallen asleep in my lesson. And it is also the first time you haven't caused havoc with Matt" asked the teacher worriedly.
"No, I was just…" I couldn't think of any thing to say!
"Umhm, Tai you can talk to me if something is troubling you?" said the teacher.
"No that's ok, there's nothing wrong, really, I was just, err…tired! Yeah that's it! I didn't get much sleep last night" I said nervously as I sweatdropped.
The teacher didn't seem convinced but he let me go. where I had to face the questions from my friends waiting outside.
I walked out of school slowly where Izzy, Sora, and Matt were waiting.
"He must be really mad if he talked to you this long!" said Sora.
"Yeah" I said quietly as I walked past them. They all looked at each other then cached me up.
"So what did he say?" asked Matt.
"Nothing much, just the usual yelling" I lied.
"What's up?" asked Matt who was very concerned.
"Nothing, just tired. Therefore, I am going to go straight home tonight. I will see you guys tomorrow" I lied again.
"Ok Tai, see you later" said Izzy.
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I walked home slowly and was not paying attention to the world around me. I was to busy deep in thought once again. I figured that I was partly gay. I must be if I looked at boys the way I should girls. However, I never gave any hints out cause I know that would get me in trouble or even beaten up! As I was not looking where I was going, I walked out into the road where a car was coming. I didn't notice it, as I was not paying any attention. The car started beeping that's when I realised it was coming straight for me. But then someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me to safety. The car just missed me. It whizzed by so fast I didn't notice it. When I was pulled back I hit the ground hard. I groaned and looked up to who it was. I thought it was Matt but it was TK. He helped me up, that's when I saw Kari was there too.
"Tai what on earth were you doing!?" demanded Kari who was still in slight shock. "You could have been killed!"
I didn't know what to say. I just looked at my sister blankly. I think I was still in shock.
"I don't know" I replied quietly. "Thanks for saving me TK"
"I'm just glad that I got here in time" smiled TK. Kari looked at me with concerned eyes.
"You wasn't trying to kill yourself?" she asked me.
"No! I just didn't…I mean! I wasn't paying attention that's all" I replied. "Anyway TK thanks again. I'm going to go home now" I said as I started to walk home. I wanted to get far away from that atmosphere. Cos I was more embarrass then anything.
"Wait! Weren't you meant to be going out with my brother and the others?" asked TK. I stopped in my tracks.
"Yeah, but I rather tired so I wanted to go home" I replied as I started my journey home.
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(Evening: Matt's place)
"So did you enjoy yourself?" asked TK.
"Yeah, it was ok" replied Matt.
"How comes Tai didn't go?" asked TK.
"He said he was tired. He did fall asleep in class today. I think the teacher had a right go at him!" explained Matt.
"Well it must have really hit him! Cause he was going to kill himself!" said TK.
"What!?" Matt said surprised.
"I was walking Kari home when she spotted Tai. He walked straight out in front of a car! I managed to get there in time before he got hit!" explained TK. Matt looked shocked.
"Is he alright?" he asked.
"Yeah, luckily. If I had been about one second later he would have been killed for sure!" replied TK.
"What is wrong with him!?" Matt said trying to think.
"What do you mean?" asked TK puzzled.
"Well, Tai has been acting a bit strangely recently" replied Matt.
"In what way?" asked TK.
"Today Sora told me she bumped into these girls who were talking about Tai. When Sora found out what it was, she was devastated!" told Matt.
"What did they say?" TK asked eager to get the info.
"They said that he was GAY!" Matt said, as TK couldn't believe his ears.
"WHAT!? Your telling me that Tai is GAY!?" TK said shocked. Matt nodded his head.
"Yeah and I'm starting to believe it my self. Because the other day, we found Tai talking to the faggots and usually he cusses them all the time like everyone else! He said nothing was going on but I'm not sure. Also in class one of them was looking at Tai in a most uncomfortable way!" explained Matt.
"Surely not!? Tai gay!? No way!" TK said in disbelieve. "What do you think? Cause weren't you in his position once?"
"Yeah, so?" said Matt getting nervous.
"I mean, it sounds like Tai is acting the same way you did" said TK.
"Did you have to bring that up?" Matt said not wanting to talk about it.
"Your still not sure? Are you?" asked TK. Matt looked around nervously then nodded his head.
"Come on Matt! We've been through all this! Your either gay? Or your not!?"
"I can't make up my mind! It's hard. I keep telling my self that it's wrong but still my heart grieves so much just to hold Taichi in my arms!" Matt soon realised what he said and clomped his hands over his mouth. TK just smiled.
"Its about time! I knew you had feelings for Tai from the start!" smiled TK.
"You have to keep this between us!" Matt panicked.
"Of course I will! I'm not like Davis! I big blabber mouth!" said TK as Matt sighed in relief.
"If you feel like that with Tai why don't you tell him?" asked TK.
"I can't! What if I was wrong and he is straight!? I will make a fool out of my self!" replied Matt. "And not only that! If I get found out I will be taken a micky out of for the rest of my life! And it won't look good for the band!"
"I know what your getting at but your going to make your self unhappy if you keep feelings bottled up all the time! Look what happened in the digiworld all them years ago!" explained TK.
"Yeah, I know but…" Matt trailed off. "Can we please just drop it!? Were meant to be discussing about Tai not me!"
"But it just seems that you need as much help as he does!" TK said as he sighed.
"I'm fine, really! But Tai's not. He tried to kill himself for crying out loud! I didn't!" Matt pointed out.
"True" TK sighed again, as did Matt. "Maybe Kari has found out what's wrong?"
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(Kamiya residence)
Tai was slowly dosing off on his bed. He didn't talk much and he didn't even have dinner which was very strange for him.
Kari came quietly into their bedroom and sat on the end of Tai's bed. Tai didn't even notice her until she coughed slightly to announce her presence. Tai jumped out of his skin and fell on the floor with a loud THUD!
"Tai you ok?" Kari said trying not to laugh.
"Yeah" I said as I rubbed my head and got up. "You just scared the hell out me!"
"Tai" Kari began but paused. I sat next to her on the bed.
"Yeah? What is it?" I asked.
"Is something bothering you?" Kari asked me. I shifted nervously like I just committed a crime.
"N,no!" I said shakily. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, its just that" Kari paused again. "You have been acting strangely recently and you seem nervous all the time".
"I'm ok" I said quickly. I was just lying to myself again.
"But you're not! You tried to kill yourself today!" Kari said getting a little angry.
"I wasn't trying to KILL MYSELF!" I corrected her. "I wasn't paying any attention to my surroundings" I sighed and thought about what happened "I was thinking about something and I didn't realise I had stepped out in front of a CAR!"
"How could you not realise!? What was so important that made you do that!?" demanded Kari.
"I can't say" I said quietly as I moved myself to lie on the bed again.
"Why not? I'm your sister. I'm not going to say any thing!" said Kari. I could feel her eyes glaring at the back of me. I knew she wasn't going to give up. I sighed again and turned round to face her.
"You promise?" I said as Kari smiled and sat closer to me.
"Yeah I promise Tai" Kari said.
"Ok, well I have been thinking about something a lot recently. And I can't make up my mind to which answer" I said as I sat up. Kari looked at me with concerned eyes and picked up my hand.
"What's the question?" she asked.
"I keep looking at…" I trailed off. And Kari rubbed my hand.
"I think I'm gay!" Kari looked at me shocked. First, she didn't say anything and I thought when she was going to she would disapprove of it.
"Tai?" Kari said rather calmly. I looked at her. "I just want you to know that I don't care that your gay. In addition, I wouldn't care if you're straight either. All that matters is that no matter what you are I love you. You're my big brother and your decision is my decision"
I smiled at Kari and then I wrapped her into a bear hug. I was so happy that Kari didn't care.
"Thanks Kari" I mumbled with joy. Kari gave me one of her big smiles.
"It's ok Tai" she said "But are you sure about this?"
"Yeah, defiantly. And I'm already in love!" I admitted.
"Who is it?" asked Kari. I didn't want to tell her but…
"Matt" I answered. Kari had a surprised look on her face but then smiled again.
"Thought as much" Kari said and I looked at her now surprised.
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
"It doesn't matter. I just want to ask? Are you going to say anything?" asked Kari.
"How can I? Matt is straight. I am not! So how would Matt feel the same way?" I almost shouted in her face "If I told him I probably loose him as a friend!"
"Tai, did you think before you told me that you would loose me as a sister?" asked Kari.
"Yeah, but this is different!" I said getting frustrated.
"How is it different? You thought the same thing and I didn't care" said Kari as she tried to calm me down.
"I know but you are my sister, I know that no matter what I am you still will love me" I said.
"You have a point there" emitted Kari.
I sighed heavily as I rested my head in my hand.
"Well you never know the answer to you ask the question" said Kari.
"Hmm" I mumbled. I was in thought again on what to do? Shall I tell him? On the other hand, should I not?
"Tai, listen. I'm not very good at situation such as this but I know if you keep things bottled up it's going eat you up! So my advice is to follow your heart not your eyes!" advised Kari. "Cause I know what you're thinking. You think if people know about you there going to treat you like the others"
"Yeah, I will hate to come home after school beaten again and again! I will have a bruises on top of bruises!" I said. Kari was good at opening me up.
We sat in silence for a while. I was thinking again.
"I'm going to tell him!"
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TO BE CONTINUED…………
Becci 'D': Hoped you liked it? Please review? I would appreciate it if you did. THANKS! #^__~#
