"He squared away?" Cole asked as Janice reentered the apartment. She gave him a smug little smirk.
"I've made better than him believe more fantastic tales," she replied.
Cole resisted the urge to say 'I know' and finished doing what he could for the door. Luckily it wasn't completely ripped off the hinges, just the bottom set was pulled out somewhat. The doorjamb was going to have to be replaced in any case since the bolt had ripped right through the wood, and the chain was completely torn out. He screwed back in the hinges and the chain. It was enough to keep the door shut until the frame could be replaced.
While he was taking care of that, Janice had done some fast-talking on the cop. He woke up on the couch, and she was saying something about calling for an ambulance. As he regained consciousness, she told him that when she threatened to get a gun, he had gone after her, tripped over a broom that was on the floor, and smacked his head, knocking him out cold. They could both see that he didn't exactly believe that story, but it was far easier to swallow then what he thought he remembered. Maybe it was just falling that made him think that the other man was moving so fast. That was possible. It was much more plausible then him being able to move at inhuman speeds.
Janice was still acting like she was going to call an ambulance, but he stopped her and said he was fine. His wife was a nurse, and she was more than capable of taking care of him and knowing if he needed to see a doctor. He remembered why he was there, and tried to get up, but fell back, dizziness overcoming him.
"I'll call backup and have him removed," he promised Janice, indicating Cole.
Janice had glanced over at Cole as if just noticing him, and let out a little laugh. "You know," she said with a smile, "I was so worried about you, I forgot we were arguing again." She shot Cole a patronizing little smile. "Are you going to apologize?"
Cole had picked up the game and shrugged. "Once again, I am sorry. Never happen again, I promise."
Janice looked back at her neighbor. "This is pretty typical for us. Dramatic, but harmless unless someone trips or something." After that, she was able to get him back to his apartment easily.
So then there they were. The door was good enough, and the cop was taken care of and it was just to two of them once again. Before, they had been so easy together, and now there was this long awkward silence between them. Cole thought that yelling was much more preferred than this quiet. He was used to yelling. Trying to not be awkward with someone was new territory.
Cole took a breath and then plunged forward. He wasn't sure, but he thought he knew the cause of the problem. "Listen," he said, "I know that we're not just going to jump back where we were. There's a lot that I need to earn back first. I came here to see if we could work things out, and I'm not expecting to jump into bed with you or anything."
"Just hoping?"
He couldn't believe she actually said that after everything. Then his eyes caught hers and he realized that she was trying to make a joke. He grinned. "I'm a guy, I have to at least hope. It's one of the rules."
She laughed. "What if we start with dinner?"
Cole sighed with mock dismay. "Not fair. You know you can always bribe me with food."
Janice smirked. "You're a telepath, and you're whining about what's fair?" He had to laugh at that. She did have a point. She gave him a rather smug look and then sauntered into the kitchen.
Janice had been making herself a grilled chicken salad when Cole first came over. She had plenty of extra, and they finished making them together. Janice had handed Cole the chicken to cut up while she finished the rest of the salad. A minute later, Cole felt her watching him. He glanced up, but she was staring at his hands more than him.
"Problem?"
"I've just never seen anyone cut up chicken like that before," she replied. He was confused for a moment, but then realized what she meant. He was just cutting very fast, and to a norm that would be rather impressive to watch. It was funny how what was commonplace to him was amazing to another person.
"I am very, very good with my hands," he replied. Janice couldn't help a tinge of color from touching her cheeks. Yes, she knew that quite well. Memories of their night together assaulted her, and she had to turn away quickly. She was not going to jump back in bed with him like that. They were going to take things at a slower pace this time, and when she thought she could trust him again, they could then try an intimate relationship. But, oh yes, she did still want him even now.
They ate together and talked for a while. It was a little stiff at first, but they started to relax a little. Cole admitted that he had popped Xander a good one, and she told him about what had happened the day before at Langley. Cole almost choked on his chicken when she told him about backing Xander down. No wonder Xander had said that she wanted to work things out with him. He'd have to tell Xander that he was right and she threw herself at him. That would make him wonder.
Dinner wound to a close, and there was that slight awkwardness again of "what next". Janice had some beer in the fridge, but she hadn't gotten it out as much as she had wanted a drink. She didn't want any alcohol in her body trying to get her to relax and just let loose. She had to be in control of her head and her body around him.
Cole wondered if he should leave now. They had made up, in part at least, and maybe he should just ask her if she'd like to go out for dinner next weekend, and go from there. But there was that little problem of him not wanting to go. And as much as she was keeping herself closed off to him, he felt she didn't want him to leave either. She had to sort out what she was feeling on her own. That night they were together, he saw a lot more than she would have wanted him to. Maybe that was part of why he had to get out of there so quickly. What was confusing on the inside was sometimes very clear if viewed from an outside perspective. Cole was willing to wait until she knew what she felt. She was worth it.
"So," Janice said playfully, trying to get back that teasing that helped break the ice before, "now are you expecting something since I fed you?" She got up and picked up his plate, waiting to see how he was going to come back to that one.
Cole smirked. If she was going to play, then so would he. He grabbed his wallet and yanked out a twenty, slapping it down on the table. "Now can I expect something?" he asked, picking up a total redneck yokel accent.
Janice's jaw dropped at his audacity. That…that…she had to laugh rather than kill him. His expression was nothing short of priceless. He really looked like some eager hick. With a snort of laughter, she dropped the plates back onto the table, and took a playful swing at his shoulder. Cole deflected it easily, catching her arm, and tugging. It took her off balance, and she promptly ended up in his lap.
Janice's breath caught to be so close to him. Her arms instinctively went around his neck, and she felt him wrapping around her, holding her close to him. She brushed back a few strands of his hair lightly, noticing the few flecks of gray in it for the first time. It made him seem all the more mature and sexy, she decided. Before when they had been close, it was more emotional, more knowing that it meant forgiveness. This time she could literally feel the air around them charging.
"I missed you," she heard herself saying. His expression, soft with just a hint of desire, didn't change, but his arms tightened slightly. Her hand brushed the side of his face, fingers grazing his ear, getting a tiny shiver from him. "We talked so much, almost every day, and then nothing all of a sudden. I just realized how much I missed you."
Cole let out a little sigh, unable to keep his hands still as he caressed her back. "I missed you too," he replied softly, not wanting to break the moment. "I had no idea how much I missed you until I saw you again."
Both of them leaned towards each other at the same time, crossing the small distance until their lips touched. Arms tightened as they both got lost in the moment, just enjoying the feel of each other being close, and not caring about the rest for now. Janice could feel herself melting against him, remembering every detail of their night together. Cole was having a hard time keeping his hands from leaving her back, but he was determined not to press things. But damn, she felt so good in his arms. The only thing better would be to have her completely bare and able to run his hands over the silk of her skin.
Cole's mouth left hers and he kissed her chin. Janice's head fell back allowing his access to the soft skin of her neck and throat. One hand finally slid down her back, resting on her denim covered rear end. She let out a little sigh of pleasure as his mouth worked down her neck, his teeth nipping at her sensitive skin, making her jump a little.
Janice leaned up a little and caught Cole's ear with her lips, sucking the lobe and running her tongue over it. He groaned in earnest then, fingers digging into her, and she could feel his entire body react to the stimulation. Janice's hands had left his neck and were tugging the hem of his shirt out of his jeans, reaching under it to run her hands over his chest and down the corded muscles of his back. Dear God, he felt so good.
They kissed again, this time passion overwhelming them both to the point were rational thought ceased to be a consideration. Cole no more could stop himself from undoing the buttons on her shirt than he could have picked up a train. She wasn't resisting him in the slightest either. As a matter of fact, she was wiggling slightly to either give him more access or drive him crazy as she rubbed against his hard arousal. Either way, it let him know she was enjoying the attention she was receiving quite well.
It was a good thing her tank top was already torn, or else it would have been shredded as Cole moved to free her from all material blocking his view and touch. It was an act of sheer willpower that was keeping him from clearing the table with the sweep of an arm and taking her right then and there. He caught her breast, eliciting a little moan from her as his thumb caressed the pink tip, making it harden in the cool air.
Janice tensed for a moment, pulling back from him, seeming to search his face for some answer. Don't tell me to stop, Cole begged with his eyes. Please, sweetheart, I need you so much. He couldn't form a word to tell her, to ask her. This was her decision, but he wanted her so much. It was more than a physical need. He needed all of her.
She didn't say a word. It wasn't required. Instead she pulled him back to her, kissing his lips and neck, her back arching slightly to give him better access to continue touching her so intimately. She knew she had told herself she wasn't going to end up in bed with him, but as her hands slid into the waistband of his jeans, trying to touch as much skin as possible, she wondered if the floor might not count then since it wasn't bed.
Janice let out a little whimper of disappointment when he left off teasing her now-aching nipple. Her breath caught as she felt him unsnap the button of her jeans, sliding the zipper down in a smooth motion. Saying no to him at that point was not even a consideration as his hand moved down, slipping inside of her panties, and start slowly caressing the very core of her.
"Cole!" she cried out, not sure if it was pleading with him to stop or to tell him she would die if he did. Oh God, his fingers…
Their eyes met, and the sheer desire in his almost scorched her skin. "I need to touch you," he murmured, his fingers moving a bit faster, making her gasp and jump. Whatever reason he had, as long as he kept it up, she wouldn't care. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. They could figure out the rest later. For now, it was just the two of them caught up in a lovely world of sweet sensations.
Cole never thought Janice looked lovelier than she did at that moment. Her cheeks were flushed; her dark curls tumbling about in disarray. He would have loved to have been able to see her eyes, but they were half closed with pleasure, her lips slightly parted to allow soft moans to escape. Her arms were clinging around his neck as if she was afraid she would ooze right off of his lap if she were to let go of him. God, she was beautiful.
One hand tentatively left his neck and grabbed the waist of her jeans. She lifted her hips slightly and tugged them down; very grateful she was wearing an old pair that was soft and loose, and not one that required two hands and a pair of pliers to get over her butt. Her eyes flicked open and met Cole's, letting him know what she wanted from him without needing a word. He didn't know if it was just a need for physical release or something else, but he didn't care. Without the jeans in the way it was much easier for him to slide his fingers inside of her very ready and willing body.
Janice cried out against his neck as she felt his long fingers penetrate her. God, it felt so good. Not as good as other things, but damn, the effect was pretty much the same. Unconsciously she was rocking back and forth with the same rhythm as he was moving his fingers, feeling her body edging closer to climax with every stroke as his thumb also continued to stroke her. Her breath was coming in jagged gasps and if he even thought about stopping now, he was a dead man.
When Cole had come over, he would have never believed that they would end up like this. He was just hoping they would at least be able to talk. But God, if she didn't come soon, he wasn't going to be responsible for his actions. Her little rocking motions were rubbing against him in just the right way, and he was biting his lip to keep from just dropping to the floor and taking her right then and there. Her cries started to gain in intensity, and then suddenly her entire body tensed, convulsing uncontrollably as she climaxed, fingers digging into his neck, her teeth scoring his shoulder.
Cole slowed to a stop, and Janice practically collapsed against him, barely able to breathe from the intensity. He held her tightly, trying to control the shaking of his own body. Janice lolled her head back from where it was buried in his neck. His ragged breathing and obvious physical arousal told her how much he wanted her, but he wasn't taking advantage of her post-orgasmic weakness and making love to her before she could even think to protest. That alone made her decision for her.
She pulled his head to hers for a brief, yet intense kiss. "Don't hurt me," she whispered as they separated. Kisses broke apart her next words, but she got them out. "Not again. Promise me you'll be here. In the morning. Be here at dawn."
"You are my dawn," he whispered with such passion it made her shiver. The look in his eyes was unfathomable, but whatever it meant to him, it made her toes curl. He stood, picking her up with his easily. It was funny in a way. Cole had hoped she would be willing to start over. He hadn't thought she would be willing to start over from the last time he had picked her up. He wasn't about to complain though as he carried her swiftly to her bedroom.
*******
Janice stretched as she woke up, feeling absolutely wonderful. She thought it must be late by now, but she had absolutely lost track of time. It was official now. There was no way she could go back to a "normal man" after experiencing some of the more fascinating aspects of a genetically engineered male. It was rather interesting how some of his training could be adapted to other things that were far more creative than soldiering. Cole had gotten a laugh out of that when she mentioned that to him as they had snuggled together, resting for a bit before getting started again. Then he proceeded to test her observation to the imminent satisfaction of them both.
But something was wrong. She sat up quickly, her breath frozen in her lungs. She was alone. She had fallen asleep finally, trying to fight it, but giving in when she heard Cole murmuring into her ear to go to sleep and trust him. He had promised! She didn't give a damn what he had promised to a dead girl. She was alive, and here and if he'd rather keep a stupid promise to someone that didn't care anymore, then…then…
Janice fell back to the bed, curling into a ball, trying to bite back either a sob or a scream, she wasn't sure which it was. He had said…and after all they had felt that night. She had been so damn sure he was being honest with her, and she could feel her guard slipping. Her stomach clinched as she thought about how passionate and tender he had been. She had refused to let herself be totally open to him like she had been the first time they had made love, but he didn't push, and then finally that last time…it had been glorious. Had she been too open? He had said it first, why would he get spooked if he saw that she was starting to have real feelings for him as well?
This wasn't fair! It wasn't right and it wasn't fair! Why did he have to come back? Why was she so stupid? Bad enough for her to get tripped up once, but twice was sheer stupidity on her part. He was probably laughing his head off, thinking about the cash he was going to get from his siblings from betting that he could get her in bed again. Janice hugged herself tighter, feeling her heart breaking. She could almost hear it. It sounded like…it sounded like…actually, it sounded suspiciously like her toilet flushing.
Janice lifted her head a bit, listening. That was her bathroom, not her imagination. There was another sound, softer this time, and she placed it. Water was running in her sink. It cut off, and then there was silence again. It was quiet enough for Janice to hear her own heartbeat. There was a slight swishing noise as the door of her bedroom opened, and then she felt someone getting into bed with her, trying his best to be inhumanly quiet. Cole's arm came around her, and she felt his warm chest press against her back.
"Did I wake you?" he asked quietly, realizing that she was awake. Actually, Cole was a little worried. She was trembling slightly and tense. That didn't make sense. All things considering, she should be rather relaxed right then. He pulled her a little tighter against him, hoping that she would tell him what was wrong.
"No," she replied unevenly, "I…I just woke up."
He kissed her shoulder. "Talk to me," he ordered gently.
She rolled over so that they were facing each other. It annoyed her that she couldn't really see his face and expression in the dark. Maybe this would be easier if she could. Maybe not. She felt silly now for getting upset, but that wasn't making it any less intense how much it had hurt when she thought he was gone. Did it mean something that it had been devastating to think he was gone?
"Jan?" Cole pressed. Even if she couldn't make him out clearly in the dark, he could see her clearly. Something was very, very wrong, and he wanted to know what it was right then. If something else happened, he wanted to take care of it then. There was no way he was going to let anything get so big it blew up and he lost her. He'd come way too close to that by his own mistakes. He wasn't willing to risk asking for a third chance.
"I woke up and you were gone," she blurted, feeling like a total idiot now.
Cole sighed and hugged her to him. He wanted to get angry that she wouldn't trust him, but that was his own fault. And she had been opening back up to him a little at a time. The fact that she had been willing to sleep with him at all spoke volumes. Then there was that last time when she had opened to him, and it was incredible. He had never been able to get into Dana's mind like that, and it was like the whole experience suddenly went to a whole new level for him. Janice had still kept part of herself blocked, but it was a start.
He tilted her face up to his, willing to do anything to take away the hurt. When he had gotten up, it hadn't crossed his mind at all that she might wake up and think he was really gone. "Janice, love," he whispered, and then let out a breath of laughter realizing what he had just called her. "You know I've said that word to exactly six women in my life. Two of them are my nieces, and two others are my sisters. I don't take that word lightly, and I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
There was a long pause. "You scare me," Janice finally admitted, "because you're the first person that really could hurt me. Any other man I have ever dated was so…so intimidated by me; they never wanted to really get too close. You want everything from me, and you're not scared to get close enough to be able to have it."
"Then we're even I guess," Cole replied, touching her face lightly. "Because you could tear me apart without even trying."
She snuggled closer to him, resting the side of her face against his chest, listening to the steady thumping of his heartbeat. It was soothing on some primitive level, and something more intimate than she had thought it could be. It lulled her into wanting to simply accept him, and be content with where this was going. She could fight it, she supposed. But her heart knew that this was where she belonged.
"Cole?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
If it wasn't for the immediate tightening of his arms around her, she might have thought that didn't have any reaction on him at all. She peeped up, and even in the dark she could see the absolutely brilliant smile on his face.
"Took you long enough to figure it out," he teased.
She jerked back. "Like you knew!" He didn't say anything. He just smiled. She realized what he was waiting for her to figure out. Then she was morally obligated to hit him. Cole only laughed, and grabbed her arm, pulling her down and rolling so that he had her pinned under him.
"What I knew is that you didn't know for sure what it was, but it was a hell of a lot more than like or lust you felt," he explained.
"That's not fair!" she complained. "You know too much about me."
Cole kissed her, effectively cutting off her rant. When they separated, he brushed the hair back from her face, smiling tenderly at her. "All I know is what you let me see. I'm glad I can't read you any time I want. I need to be able to simply trust you, and have faith in your words."
Janice gave him a mischievous little smirk. "That's a good thing, because a lot of times I'm contemplating my grocery list. Trust me, you don't want to know when I'm running low on certain things."
"You little…!" Not much else got out from Cole as he started to tickle her.
Janice was laughing and trying to push his hands away at the same time. "At least I'm not trying to decide what color to repaint the ceiling!" she protested. Cole fell back to the bed, laughter getting the best of him. She was giggling a little, wondering how often he was this open and relaxed and even silly. Maybe around Xander? Maybe. But for some reason, she didn't think so. Had Dana seen him like this? The thought sobered her. Who would he rather be with?
"Do you wish you could still be with her?" Janice asked before she could stop herself.
Cole looked away for a moment, laughter stopping cold. He hadn't been anticipating that question in the least. How to even explain it? Was she wondering if he was comparing the two of them? It wasn't like she couldn't measure up to Dana's standard or anything like that. He and Dana had a bond that was forged since infancy. It didn't mean that he loved Janice any less, just differently. Differently.
"Jan," he said, "I loved Dana for Dana, and I love you for you. There *is* no comparison. And there's no way I can say I'd rather be with her instead of you right now. If she hadn't died, then yes, we would still be together, but she did, and I met you, and this is where I want to be. If she hadn't died, then I wouldn't be the man I am now, and you might not want the person that I would have become instead. It took me a long time to realize that. I like who I am, and God knows, I love the woman I have now."
He smiled a little, thinking about twilight, and what Dana had said that once. Then he knew how to explain it to Janice. "Dana was my twilight. She was the end of the life that I had. You, my love, are the dawn of a new one. She's my past. You are my future."
They kissed again, a kiss that sealed the moment between them. The past was the past, and this was the glory of the future. Their future. Forever.
