Disclaimer: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will- whoops, wrong legal speech. Uh, "Baby Got Back" was performed by Sir Mix-a-Lot and belongs to some record company, and Lord of the Rings belongs to Tolkein, New Line Cinema, and Burger King (don't ask).
Author's Note: NO! I am NOT trying to milk reviews out of this song! This was requested (thanks for the idea, Drakena and Frodo's_gal!), and I happened to think it was a good idea. ::Sticks out tounge at anyone attempting to flame her for that reason::
While writing this song and searching my mind for reasons Hobbits are desirable, I've decided that they are "definately not un-cute." Oh who am I kidding? They're absolutely darling! Frodo and Pippin! ::Squeals:: So cute!
Baby Got Orbs
*talking*
Oh my god
Arwen, look at his eyes
They are SO big
He looks like one of those hobbits, from the Shire...
Who understands those hobbits anyway
They leave their girlfriends to get rid of rings and stuff
I mean, his eyes
They're just so BIG
I can't believe they're so round
He's just so adorable
I mean, they're wide
Look! He's just so... ca-yute!
I like big eyes and I cannot lie
You fanfickers can't deny
That when a guy walks in under 4'8"
With those big things on his face
You get shocked
Wanna pull up to dock
Cuz you notice his eyes are locked
Right into yours. You're starin'-
And not at the clothes he's wearing
Oh halfling, I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My friends they try to warn me
But those eyes you got
Hey, they ain't corny!
Ooh, face of smooth skin
And all so cleansha-ven [wink]
Well use me use me cause I ain't your average groupy!
I've seen the Prancin'
Pony and I'm romancin'
With short guys. Big eyes. Writin' Mary Sues; I'm up until sunrise
I'm tired of magazines
Saying tall guys are the thing
Take the average fan and tell her that
She'll engage you in combat
So girlfriends (yeah) girlfriends (yeah)
Has your hobbit got those eyes? (oh yeah)
Tell him to blink them (blink it!) blink them (blink it!) blink those great big eyes
Baby got orbs
(Elven face with halfling peepers)
I like'em round and big
And when he's dancing a jig
I just can't help myself
I wanna dance with 'im
And maybe even kiss 'im
I could take you home...
And "aaahhh...", gaze at you "aaahh..." "aaahh..."
I aint talkin bout contacts
Little plastic things just don't attract
I wann'em real big and shining
You know I'm sittin here pining
Puttin up with Frodo's whining
While other girls are declining
So I'm lookin' at medieval videos
Knocking these knights a-killing their foes
You can have them Him-bos
I want my men just like Frodo
A word to the cute little halfings:
Pippin, Merry, Samwise,
(And Bagginses too!)
I gotta be straight when I say I wanna:
"Awwwwwwww!"
Till the break of dawn
Hobbits got it goin on
A lot of big folk won't like this song
Cuz those blokes don't have such big eyes
And don't know where true beauty lies
Cuz they're tall. Frodo's small.
And you know who I'm givin my all
So Hobbits (yeah), Hobbits (yeah)
You darling little thief-like rob-its (yeah)
Just look at me
Bat those lashes
Now the cuteness comes in flashes
Baby got orbs
(Elven face with halfling peepers)
Yeah baby
When it comes to fan fictions
Legolas ain't got nothin to do with my selection
(OK, maybe just a little... But only if he's 4'3"!)
So your guy-friend's over six feet
But I bet he doesn't got hairy feet
See the Elite they got mini-bushes on their feet [hair we go again]
My little guy, I don't want none unless you got orbs hun
You can wear sunglasses or grow a beard
But please don't lose them eyes
Some reviewers wanna play the hard role
And tell you that the guy ain't gold
So they flame it. And leave it.
They're just jealous cause they can't achieve it
So Elrond calls you short
To that I have a retort
His eyes are small and his height is frightnin'
And I'm thinkin bout fightin' him
To the squinty things in the magazines
You aint it Mr. Thing
Give me a hobbit and I just can't stop it
There's just no way you can top it
Some fanficker tried to dis
Cuz these guys were on my list
She had game but she chose to flame 'em
And I pulled up quick to reclaim 'em
So Hobbits, if your eyes are wide
And you're ready to swallow your pride
Dial 1-800-BIG-EYE-S and call me (please don't chide!)
Baby got orbs
A/N: Do NOT call 1-800-BIG-EYE-S! I don't own the number; I don't even know if it exists, and I'm not trying to promote it if it does! Sheesh, you people causing trouble again? ;-)
Author's Note: NO! I am NOT trying to milk reviews out of this song! This was requested (thanks for the idea, Drakena and Frodo's_gal!), and I happened to think it was a good idea. ::Sticks out tounge at anyone attempting to flame her for that reason::
While writing this song and searching my mind for reasons Hobbits are desirable, I've decided that they are "definately not un-cute." Oh who am I kidding? They're absolutely darling! Frodo and Pippin! ::Squeals:: So cute!
Baby Got Orbs
*talking*
Oh my god
Arwen, look at his eyes
They are SO big
He looks like one of those hobbits, from the Shire...
Who understands those hobbits anyway
They leave their girlfriends to get rid of rings and stuff
I mean, his eyes
They're just so BIG
I can't believe they're so round
He's just so adorable
I mean, they're wide
Look! He's just so... ca-yute!
I like big eyes and I cannot lie
You fanfickers can't deny
That when a guy walks in under 4'8"
With those big things on his face
You get shocked
Wanna pull up to dock
Cuz you notice his eyes are locked
Right into yours. You're starin'-
And not at the clothes he's wearing
Oh halfling, I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My friends they try to warn me
But those eyes you got
Hey, they ain't corny!
Ooh, face of smooth skin
And all so cleansha-ven [wink]
Well use me use me cause I ain't your average groupy!
I've seen the Prancin'
Pony and I'm romancin'
With short guys. Big eyes. Writin' Mary Sues; I'm up until sunrise
I'm tired of magazines
Saying tall guys are the thing
Take the average fan and tell her that
She'll engage you in combat
So girlfriends (yeah) girlfriends (yeah)
Has your hobbit got those eyes? (oh yeah)
Tell him to blink them (blink it!) blink them (blink it!) blink those great big eyes
Baby got orbs
(Elven face with halfling peepers)
I like'em round and big
And when he's dancing a jig
I just can't help myself
I wanna dance with 'im
And maybe even kiss 'im
I could take you home...
And "aaahhh...", gaze at you "aaahh..." "aaahh..."
I aint talkin bout contacts
Little plastic things just don't attract
I wann'em real big and shining
You know I'm sittin here pining
Puttin up with Frodo's whining
While other girls are declining
So I'm lookin' at medieval videos
Knocking these knights a-killing their foes
You can have them Him-bos
I want my men just like Frodo
A word to the cute little halfings:
Pippin, Merry, Samwise,
(And Bagginses too!)
I gotta be straight when I say I wanna:
"Awwwwwwww!"
Till the break of dawn
Hobbits got it goin on
A lot of big folk won't like this song
Cuz those blokes don't have such big eyes
And don't know where true beauty lies
Cuz they're tall. Frodo's small.
And you know who I'm givin my all
So Hobbits (yeah), Hobbits (yeah)
You darling little thief-like rob-its (yeah)
Just look at me
Bat those lashes
Now the cuteness comes in flashes
Baby got orbs
(Elven face with halfling peepers)
Yeah baby
When it comes to fan fictions
Legolas ain't got nothin to do with my selection
(OK, maybe just a little... But only if he's 4'3"!)
So your guy-friend's over six feet
But I bet he doesn't got hairy feet
See the Elite they got mini-bushes on their feet [hair we go again]
My little guy, I don't want none unless you got orbs hun
You can wear sunglasses or grow a beard
But please don't lose them eyes
Some reviewers wanna play the hard role
And tell you that the guy ain't gold
So they flame it. And leave it.
They're just jealous cause they can't achieve it
So Elrond calls you short
To that I have a retort
His eyes are small and his height is frightnin'
And I'm thinkin bout fightin' him
To the squinty things in the magazines
You aint it Mr. Thing
Give me a hobbit and I just can't stop it
There's just no way you can top it
Some fanficker tried to dis
Cuz these guys were on my list
She had game but she chose to flame 'em
And I pulled up quick to reclaim 'em
So Hobbits, if your eyes are wide
And you're ready to swallow your pride
Dial 1-800-BIG-EYE-S and call me (please don't chide!)
Baby got orbs
A/N: Do NOT call 1-800-BIG-EYE-S! I don't own the number; I don't even know if it exists, and I'm not trying to promote it if it does! Sheesh, you people causing trouble again? ;-)
