Five
Back To The Base and A Plea For Help

The most interesting of smells was coming from the kitchen. It floated out of its pot, drifting into the dining room to snap the little Invader out of his half-doze. He'd been working non-stop alongside Jendai all day long in Merana's huge garden-which had turned out to be quite dangerous with all the streams and pools. To look on the bright side though, he'd learned valuable information about Earth's plant life. The duo had weeded, watered and picked vegetables for hours, the mechanic having to direct Zim's hasty work more than once. He'd been very patient, comparing Zim's struggles to his own. Both had splatters of mud or grass stains on their uniform or clothes. GIR, who had done nothing but run around insanely the whole time, was so filthy Merana had made it eat in the sink where it couldn't mess anything. It was annoying Jendai, who was busy using some of the things they'd picked to cook.
Merana inhaled the smell deeply. She was the only one not covered in mud. "Wonder what he's cooking in there...?" A hand ran absently through silver-blonde hair, rings flashing in the overhead lights.
She didn't have long to wait. Jendai entered, two bowls carried easily in his hands. He'd removed his gloves-as had Zim-for this occasion, to keep from contaminating the cooking with dirt and germs. A huge grin, a slightly devious grin, was plastered to his face as he set the food down before Zim and Merana. "Go on," he coaxed. "I made it from the stuff we picked today and some things I found in the cupboards." At their unusual looks, he laughed. "Go on! God, it's not poisoned! I swear!"
Tentatively, Zim picked up the spoon he'd been given. The stuff was brown with little lumps in it. Every now and then there was some other red or green thing poking out. He dipped the spoon in, taking a hesitant taste of the steaming thing. It burned his tongue, not with heat, but with something else. With flavor. A rather nice flavor. He took a bigger bite; this time the heat did burn him slightly. It was wonderful! So... Irken! Jendai watched him practically inhale it with amusement. Merana stared bemusedly. It wasn't until he'd finished that he noticed their eyes on him. "That was quite good," Zim admitted, flushing a darker green slightly.
"I can see that," Jendai chuckled. The Djemy just muttered something about oddball Irkens, going back to her food. "It's called chili. I just spice it up Irken-ish to make it more pleasing to both me and whoever else might drop by," he explained. He gave the Djemy a sly grin. "'Cept Mer doesn't like it as much."
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Zim, shower now. You stink worse than that psycho Iron Chef over there," she said, her tone slightly mocking. She was most likely stiff miffed about the whole underpants incident. "The shower's in a room off of 'Dai's workroom. I assume you know how to work one?" He nodded, scurrying off. Faintly, GIR could be heard singing the song once more. "And take that damn robot with you!" Merana yelled over Irken laughter.
"How soon do you want him gone?" Jendai asked after Zim had disappeared. He leaned back in his chair to study the ceiling, an apathetic look on his face.
"It's not Zim I want gone," she explained irritably. "It's GIR! Gods, it was okay at first, then it started running around, beating its head." The Djemy toyed with the chili. "Are you sure you repaired it?"
He nodded. "Every fried circuit and busted wire." A shrug. "Must be defective. God, I swear there was nothing in its head! Okay, so there was some change, a paperclip and a rubber ball, but nothing in the way of an AI chip. Well, there was a moose... a squeaky moose." He grinned devilishly. "That was fun. Uh, something that looked like bread or cake or something messed with the optics. I guess that thing keeps its goodies in its head."
"Its insane."
"Yeah," he sighed. "Wonder how Zim got a hold of it..." He shook his head. "Mother of Irk, he's short! Poor guy. Must have never heard the end of it in those hell-hole Soldier Academies." Jendai's antennae twitched back as he got up out of the chair. "I'm tired," he said in explanation. "Goin' to bed."
Merana made a disagreeable sound through her nose. "Aren't you going to eat something, 'Dai?" When he shook his head, she groaned. "Jendai Kaalae, you can't start doing this again! I thought you promised you'd never do this anymore."
"This is different," came the tired retort. "I'm not going to kill myself, all right? You gotta stop acting like every time I'm not hungry or can't sleep is me being depressed. Honestly, I'm just exhausted. I need sleep more than I need food. I'll eat in the morning."
She was quiet for a long time. "Fine. Take your medicine and you can go."
He came up behind her, sneaking his arms around her neck. "You aren't gonna baby me forever, are you?" he whispered teasingly.
"I'll out-live you, Kaalie."
"Kaalae."
"Whatever. Go on, get some sleep."
He left, robotic legs clicking. The kitchen was his first stop. Frowning, he scanned the cabinets for the right one. Finding it, his frown deepened as he searched for the correct bottle out of the hundreds of others stored on the same shelf. "Which ones you want me to take tonight?" he called, chewing his lower lip.
"Just the anti-depressants and the painkillers, 'Dai," Merana called. "Bring the bottle of sleeping pills with you in case you can't sleep."
Jendai only grunted in response. Selecting the proper bottles, he dug three pills out of one and two out of the other before settling them back down in their places. He popped the three into his mouth, swallowed, then downed the other pills. They scratched his throat but at the moment, he could care less. For a minute, his eyes blurred at their taste. Angrily, he focused them. Picking up the bottle of sleeping pills, he headed for his room to finally get some sleep. Painkillers could make you sleepy on their own. The sleeping pills were jammed into a pocket of his pants. He rather enjoyed the temporary peace in the hallway. Then, his antennae twitched at a sound coming from up ahead. Curious, he increased his pace. Zim was standing in the hallway, his uniform soaked with moisture, an equally drenched GIR beside him. The robot peeked out from under a towel, giggling. "I'm a ghoooooost," it said happily. Zim massaged his forehead in dismay. "I'm afraid I'm lost," the Invader muttered, looking up at him.
Jendai half-smiled. "It's the one at the end of the hall, the open one," he pointed in the general direction. The Invader shot him a grateful look, heading for his room, dragging GIR behind him. "Night, Zim," he called, keeping the small grin. Zim saluted smartly and GIR waved. They both disappeared into the room.
He sighed, heading into his workroom. He wasn't really tired, just needed some alone time. It was also high time he did some writing. For a moment, his old voot runner drew his attention. His fingers brushed it in absent thanks. Jendai collected the box and headed back to his own room, careful to check the hallway for a patrolling Djemy. Finally, locked away in privacy, he stripped off his shirt and gloves, laying them over his dresser, before settling down on the bed. His fingers trembled as he lifted the latch. All the old memories came flooding back when the top came off. Abruptly, he slammed it back down. No. He couldn't deal with this again. Not these nightmares. Not this pain. But... Grinding his teeth, he opened his box. The holograph capsules clinked musically against one another and the scraps of cloth rustled. Pulling out the journal, he dropped the lid quickly. Jendai grabbed a pencil from his night stand and began to write in slow, careful Irken.
"It has been a while," he began. "I haven't honestly felt the need to say much these past years. Well, I guess there hasn't been another Irken here these past years, after Des died. I can't think somehow that I didn't care. Now, though, I feel a little remorseful about the whole thing. Damn, I hate irony. The one Irken who started this whole shitty mess is the one who ends up being an Invader and stuck with me. I'm almost glad OIDI failed. Shove that up your green ass, Des. See if you can strut then. There's another Soldier on this planet. Wow, my luck is impressive. His name is Zim. Personally, I don't find him as intolerable as every other Soldier I've known. He's different, somehow. Well, the obvious difference is his height. Hell, and I thought I was short! This guy's a midget. Maybe that's why he's not half-as-bad. I dunno. Apparently, he's been sent here to "invade" this planet as a part of Operation: Impending Doom II. I'm beginning to wonder if Kas and everyone's been lying to him... like they all lied to me. Okay, so they didn't exactly LIE to me. More like, Leeri twisted the truth and damn near drove me insane. Kas just broke the promise we both made to never become tall like those we hates. Heh, maybe I did too. I guess none of this really matters anymore. I'm healed, alive, and have a few reasons to live. Mer wants Zim and GIR-his psychotic li'l SIR-out of the house tomorrow, so I guess I'm driving into the city again. I've only known the little squirt twenty-four hours, but he kinda grows on you. Same with the SIR. Mer only wants him gone because GIR played around with her underpants. I suppose contacting Zim every now and then won't hurt... unless I get him killed. Damn, that seems to happen a lot."
Jendai paused, tapping the pencil against the page. Sometimes he hated writing. It was so hard to get all he wanted to say down on the paper when he wanted it to. He looked up at the star mobile, watching one of the planets twirl happily on its string. "Irk..." he sighed, then continued writing.
"I'm not really sure why I've suddenly gotten attached to the little guy. He's eccentric, overconfident... everything a perfect Soldier should be. It can be annoying. But... I suppose its his confidence you just have to admire. His courage too. I know what it's like to be short, no picnic. That's it. We're both short-well, I was short anyway. Still am mentally. Kindred spirits, I believe the term is called."
He closed the journal, sliding it on the nightstand. His eyelids threatened to close. He left the lights on-they didn't bother him anyway, turned over without bothering to pull the blankets up, and crashed into dreamland. A few hours later, he was snoring, oblivious to the being that crept into his room. It carefully slid the blankets over him, brushing the tips of his antennae gently. With a moment's hesitation, it flicked off the lights and left to its own devices.
GIR's joyous screeching woke Zim that morning. Groaning to himself, Zim lifted his head from where it had fallen the night before, glancing around for his robot. "GIR," he groaned. "I'm attempting to sleep. You're asinine screeches are not going to help me do so."
Something pink was thrust in his face. "Look Master!" An insane giggle. Zim pulled his head back slightly to take in the full view of the object held up for his inspection. It was a pink slipper. A fuzzy, pastel pink slipper. He stared. "GIR...? Where did you get that?"
The SIR unit hugged the footwear close, cuddling it like it was a doll. "It's a 'placement piggy cause Pig had to stay home when I went for a freezie!" it explained. "And I love it Master! Its name is Hobbes!"
"And why is it called that?" Zim asked cautiously.
It thought for a moment. "Cause after the Scary Monkey Show, there's the Angry Monkey Show and then there's more Scary Monkey and then there's this one called I-visble Man," GIR chirruped. "It has a human named Hobbes and he's got no hair!" It giggled hysterically. "But 'placement piggy has hair so its name is Hobbes too!"
The Invader stared at his SIR. They both were silent. "GIR, did it occur to you that what you just said makes absolutely no sense whatsoever?" Zim finally said, dumbfounded. GIR smiled broadly, as if its master had just paid it a compliment. He sighed, trying to go back to sleep. Seeing its master turn over for more boring slumber, GIR jumped on Zim's back, singing the Doom Song to wake him. It only succeeded in being hit with a well-aimed pillow. This caused it to giggle some more and throw the pillow back at Zim. The Invader snarled, sitting up. "So it's a fight you want?" he shouted, heaving the pillow once again. GIR squealed in joy, ducking the shot by diving under the bed. Satisfied that his robot was tame again, Zim lay back down. The pillow smacked him in the head. "Pillow fiiiiiiiiiiight!" GIR shrieked, running around the room. Zim just stared.
"What the hell?" someone asked from the doorway. GIR stopped running mid-step, falling over as it attempted to hold still. Its master blushed. "What a wake-up call..." Jendai murmured, rubbing his forehead sleepily. There were dark green circles under his eyes from a lack of sleep. "Zim, did you know it's four o'clock in the goddamn morning?" he asked, sounding more amused than irritated. "Isn't there anything that holds that thing's attention for more than a minute? My room's right down the hall and I can hear it clear as anything."
"Mother of Irk, I'm sorry!" Zim cringed, though he wasn't being scolded. "It woke me up a few minutes ago and I've been trying to make it be silent since."
His apologies were waved off. "Just tell me what makes it... I don't know, sane?"
"Television," he answered. "The Scary Monkey Show."
Jendai nodded once, thinking this over. "C'mon GIR," he ordered. "Let's go watch some Scary Monkey cause I need sleep and so does your master."
The robot squealed happily, running off to watch some TV. Jendai grinned, looking fatigued. "See you in a few hours Zim," he called, starting to close the door. "Mer says you have to go back to your base in the AM."
Zim couldn't answer, he'd already fallen back asleep.

"You put the beer in the coconut and drink it all up!" sang Jendai. His mood was obviously better than when Zim had seen him last. Their little group was outside, watching the mechanic give "his" pickup a short once-over before he took Zim back into the city. Apparently, the human vehicle broke down about once every twenty-four hours, causing Jendai to tune it up before every drive he took. The only other human vehicle Merana owned was a huge, white van, a van that would have been too conspicuous pulling up to Zim's base. She stood beside the disguised Invader and SIR, watching a disguised Jendai's head vanish into the engine. His voice echoed from the interior. "You put the beer in the coconut and drink it all up! You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away!" he finished, a triumphant grin on his "human" face. The Irken practically skipped over to where they stood, scooping up Merana and swinging her around in a circle. She laughed. "I figured it out!" he cheered. "It ain't gonna break down no more!"
Another laugh, soft, tinkling and musical. "Put me down, you green idiot!"
"Only cause Zim's here." He set her down anyway. "You ready?" Jendai asked the Invader. "It's about an hour's drive into town."
Zim approached the car, head held high. He saluted. "Yes sir!" GIR mimicked him, giggling.
Their actions earned them an eye-roll. "Hop in."
He turned before doing so, wanting to thank the Djemy. "Thank you for all you have done for me, Merana Sali," he said gallantly. "I hope to uphold the old Irken alliance with you."
She knelt down, took his hand and kissed it. "I'll do my part," she grinned. "Bye Zimmy." Merana suddenly wrapped her arms around him, squeezing. "Keep in contact, all right?" She released him.
Zim nodded, stunned, then scampered over to the pick-up, using GIR as a step stool to enter the cab. Once he was seated, GIR jumped in beside him, taking its seat beside its master. "Hobbes" was in its lap. Jendai slid into the driver's seat, humming the song about beer and a coconut. He slid a metal object into a slit beside the steering wheel, and turned it to start the engine. It coughed sickly for a moment, then burst to life with a roar that startled even the mechanic. "Damn!" he shouted. "I guess I really DID fix this thing!" He pulled a switch, backing the bulky vehicle out of the driveway.
In a matter of minutes, they were on a highway. Jendai was nervous. Zim could tell by the way he drummed his long fingers against the wheel, chewing his lip as if it were something edible. The mechanic's driving was becoming slightly erratic. A few humans leaned out their windows and cursed at him, holding their middle fingers up in what Zim guessed was a rude gesture. Jendai did it right back at them. "Maybe some human music would help?" the Invader suggested.
"Right," Jendai agreed, switching on the radio. A bubbly, female human's voice shouted, "Oops I did it again!" out at them. Jendai yelped in horror, changing the channel quickly. "Brittney Spears," he explained, making a disagreeable face. "Worst human on the face of the planet."
The next station was incredibly hard to understand. GIR jumped up, singing along. "I like big butts and I do not lie! You other brothers can't deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get-" the robot stopped singing as Jendai changed the station yet again. "Awww," it complained. "I like the butt butt song..."
"Live with it," the driver muttered, flicking the knobs. He grinned broadly at the new song. "You know this one, Invader?" he asked. The volume turned up. "Now that I think about it, this one kinda reminds me of you, Zim."
He had heard it before. In some horridly inaccurate human movie. But, the music was enjoyable. "Yes, I heard it in movie," he answered.
"I'm in over my head!"
Jendai cranked the volume, flicking on the knob for more bass. The entire cab rocked with music. He sang along, loud and in perfect tune. Zim suddenly found himself joining in.
"They wanna try and build me up
So they can tear me down!
I wish that I could be back there,
But I'm right here right now!
They've taken everything that I've had to give them!
They say it's over but,
Man I'm still here livin!
I don't know what to do.
I think that maybe..."
"Sing it Zim!" Jendai cheered, quieting for Zim's solo. GIR danced gleefully on the dashboard. The Invader stood, planting one foot on the dash and one on the seat while using "Hobbes" as a microphone.
"I'm in over my head!
Stuck in the red,
Something they said,
Makes me think that I'm in over my head!
Over my head!
Over my head!"
GIR made air guitar motions, head banging and not paying the slightest attention to anything other than his dance. Zim, grinning like an idiot, pointed the "microphone at Jendai, making him sing on his own.
"I have got to get away from here
And it couldn't be too soon!
Cause I see the stars when you're with me
Like rockets to the moon!
You take me everywhere that I've never been and
Shown me the meaning of what life had to give me.
I don't know what to say
I think that maybe..."
All three sang now, aided only by the human band over the airwaves.
"I'm in over my head!
Lying in her bed
Something she said,
Makes me think that...
I'm in over my head!
Over my head!
Over my head!
I'm in over my head,
I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head!
The song died away. Jendai chuckled to himself, turning the volume down and the bass off. "I haven't sung like that in a while," he said, still grinning. "Thanks Invader."
"I doubt I have ever been able to sing before now," the other Irken replied. "It was most enjoyable."
GIR bounced back into the seat, scooping up Hobbes once more. The drive was mostly uneventful, silence between the two aliens broken only by various human songs they could tolerate. In fact, Zim was almost disappointed when the skyscrapers of the human city loomed in sight. Jendai gave about five times more fingers to other drivers once they entered the city limits. "Human drivers are all dumb asses," was his only explanation Zim would accept. The number of curses he uttered increased tenfold when he discovered Zim was a horrible navigator from the passenger seat. "How the hell did you survive as a Soldier if you can't navigate worth jack shit?" he muttered darkly.
It was only after the intervention of the sight of the house that they were able to make it back to Zim's base. Jendai pulled up, eyeing it suspiciously. "I don't see that Dib human," he muttered, scanning the sidewalk in both directions. "I think you're safe."
Both Invader and SIR climbed out of the cab. "Thank you for all the assistance, Jendai," Zim called up. "If you ever need the assistance of an Invader..."
Jendai grinned. "I'll contact you," he finished. "Good luck with your mission, Invader Zim." The grin disappeared. "Oh, and when you contact your superiors next, tell 'em I say hello." He waved, reaching over to pull the door shut. "Bye Zim."
The rusty pickup sped off, leaving a cloud of exhaust in its wake. Zim stood for a while, watching it drive off. He wondered why Jendai would want him to tell the Tallest hello. Wasn't he banished? Something told him there was a lot about this mechanic he would never understand. "Come GIR," he ordered, marching into his base. It would probably be dusty from his absence. "We have much cleaning to do. No doubt the germs have regrouped. I must replace the meat in the proper places to repel them..." He noticed GIR had wandered off to play with a bit of foil blowing in the wind. With a sigh, Zim left to attend to his business, alone as usual. An Invader needed no one. Plus, his face had begun to ache. A long sleep in the regeneration pods in his lab's medical bay would take care of that in no time. He headed inside, carefully categorizing the items on his to-do list. There was skool tomorrow.
He had a mission to complete.

Skool. Mother of Irk. It was such a waste of his valuable time.
Six weeks after Dib's attack. Six weeks after meeting the only other Irken on this planet. He blew a stray strand from his wig out of his face. Life had returned to normal, Dib had continued with his threats and he with his plots. He'd almost forgotten about the incident. But, today, Zim couldn't stop thinking about his venture. He couldn't shake off this strange feeling of dread that had fallen over him during the night. At first, he'd thought it was just Dib trying to kill him again, but as time wore on, he felt it centered more and more around the oddball Irken mechanic and the last Djemy. When would Bitters shut up? Angrily, he broke a pencil in two. There was no outlet for the frustration that stemmed from this feeling of dread he couldn't seem to shake.
He tried to delve into the memory of Dib's facial expression when he'd entered the classroom after the incident. The human had stuttered, shocked that Zim had actually survived both the tazer and the fall of fifty feet into the river. His face had become paler than normal, the Invader recalled with a laugh.
"Zim, report to the attendance office. Your guardian is here to pick you up," the PA system broke into Ms. Bitters' lecture. "Do it now."
Bemused, Zim stood, waiting for permission from the snake-human hybrid to leave. "She" nodded to him, then continued terrifying the human children with her tales of horrific human history. Dib cast him a suspicious look before bending over his paper to begin a forgery note from his father to release himself from class, obviously thinking Zim was up to something and wanting to trail him. The Invader marched out of the room; more confused than the human stinkbeast was over this event. It stank in the halls. Humans were so dirty! Strange noises echoed all around, shadows gliding evilly on the ceiling. He hurried onwards to the offices. Unfortunately, he had to jump to reach the knob. Blast humans and their tallness! Once inside, he stood, stunned, at who was waiting for him beside the main desk.
"Hello, Zim."
Something had happened. He knew it. "Are you all right?" he asked quickly. "Why are you here?"
"We need to talk. Privately."
The woman behind the desk pointed towards one of the other offices. "There's no one in that one, sir. You can lock the door and nobody will disturb the two of you." She smiled at them. "I do hope everything will be okay."
Zim didn't reply, just headed into the office, locking the door behind the two of them. Next, he shut the blinds over all the windows, providing utmost levels of privacy for the two. "Okay, we're alone," he said, folding his arms. "Why are you here?"
Jendai Kaalae turned off the hologram, sinking to the floor exhaustedly. At his appearance, Zim took a step back. There was a two-inch cut running from the corner of his mouth downwards. Dried blood had turned dark green over its surface. One of his eyes was swollen, bruised from a blow. Another bruise had been inflicted on the opposite side of his head, oblong in shape. The other eye had a dark circle under it and was sunken in with emotions. He looked beaten. Before he spoke, he jutted out his lower lip to chew it, accidentally showing the deep teeth marks from pervious worry. "They came last night," he murmured. "I don't remember how many exactly. Everything is hazy. More than four, at least. I was in my workroom, trying to fix my voot runner. I heard Mer open the door. She screamed. There were human voices. I got up, turned on the hologram and went to help her. She was on the floor, her legs were broken. I don't know how that bastard found enough proof to convince those other sons of bitches to raid the house, but he damn well did. I tried to help her. They... they ganged up on me." His head fell into his hands, trying to hide the trembling. "It was like being back on Irk all over again. Soldiers... They knocked me out. When I woke up, Mer was gone. So were her maps and all her stuff. They left the workroom alone... I guess I locked it or something." When he looked up again, Zim could see the horror and tears in his blue eyes. "The humans... The humans have Merana."
The Invader stood, scared, for a while. Those blue eyes, those terrified, too-old eyes stared right into him. Slowly, he approached the other Irken, feeling the eyes never leave him. Jendai finally looked away, shoulders shaking. "Goddamn it, Zim," he murmured. "They're going to kill her! Oh shit, they're going to kill her... I know it. They're going to kill her, damn it and there's no way in hell I can do anything about it." He was crying. Sobbing helplessly. "Why didn't I bring a gun? Why didn't I take a goddamn, piece of shit gun?!"
One gloved hand placed itself on the mechanic's trembling shoulder. "They will not kill her, Jendai Kaalae," Zim said flatly. The tall Irken's antennae pricked up. "You will stop them. If there is one thing I have learned about you Students from yourself, it is that you are a proud Class that, once they have a goal in sight, will not give up until they have achieved it."
The blue eyes brightened. "How?" he asked, monotone. When Zim didn't answer, he continued. "They work for the human government, which is situated on the east coast of this continent. If I go there, then it's likely we'll find where Merana is." His abused lip was chewed again. "I can't do this on my own," Jendai said quietly.
"I will come with you," Zim agreed. "Perhaps some of my weapons may be of use."
The larger gloved hand grasped the small one. "Ready for a road trip?" Jendai asked, raising a non-existent eyebrow.

(I don't own "Over my head." Lit does. Jendai and Merana are mine. Now prepare for the horror that is a road trip with GIR! Oh! I don't own Hobbes or the I-man either. Invisible Man rocks! Darien is sooooo hot..)
(Irkens: O_o;;)