Author's Note: And here's the next crazy installment of Thanksgiving at the Maxwells… after this, just one more part, folks, and then it's on to Heero's Torture Shopping the Day After… ^_~
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing. The kiddies are mine, though…
Thanksgiving at the Maxwells
by Dorothy Winner
~*~
"Give up, Yuy."
"You wish."
Milliardo and Heero were locked in an arm wrestling match at one end of the dining table, their grips so firm that their knuckles were turning white.
Relena, Noin, and Sally emerged from the kitchen, each with a large slice of German chocolate cake.
"They're still at it, huh?" said Sally.
"It never stopped," said Relena.
"It never will," said Noin.
"I've resigned myself to the fact that they'll never get used to being brothers-in-law," said Relena.
Prussian blue eyes locked with ice blue ones.
"You know I won't back down," said Milliardo.
"And you know I won't," said Heero.
"Don't they have anything better to do?" asked Sally.
"No," said Relena and Noin together.
"I thought so…"
"We'd better go," said Noin, "this is going to be a while…"
~*~
Duo sprawled out on the couch and loosened his belt. "I think I ate too much."
Hilde sat down next to him and poked him in the stomach. "Correction: you did eat too much."
"You always eat too much," said Wufei, sitting down in an armchair next to the couch.
"Well, Hilde's such a great cook, I just can't resist."
"That's because you're a glutton, Maxwell," said Wufei. "Keep on eating this way and you'll end up fat when you're older."
"Hey Hilde," said Duo, what would you think if I had a gut?"
Hilde shook her head. "Ugh, that's too scary to even think about."
"You'd still think I'm sexy, wouldn't you?"
Wufei scoffed. "I would never let my body deteriorate into such a condition. And as for you, Maxwell, your self-proclaimed sex appeal is highly overrated."
"Hey!" Duo exclaimed and Hilde laughed.
~*~
"Target sighted."
Jason Maxwell crawled on his stomach along the second floor railing, peering down at his parents and Wufei with his mini-binoculars.
His binoculars were focused on Wufei.
"Loading ammo," whispered Jason, as he took an egg he had stolen from the refrigerator and put it in the cradle of his slingshot. "Acquiring target," he said, scooting closer to the railing. "I have a clear shot. Still clear?"
Jonathan looked at the unsuspecting Wufei from his hiding place behind a large potted plant. "All clear. Proceed with the mission," he whispered into his walkie-talkie.
"Roger," said Jason, squinting as he aimed his slingshot at Wufei…
Wufei was lecturing Duo on the perils of being overweight when he suddenly felt something hit him on the top of his head with a crunching noise.
"What was that?" Wufei shouted, bolting up from the couch and crouching into a fighter's stance. He felt something cold and slimy slide down the side of his face. He put his hand to it and brought it away, looking at the slimy yellow mess in his hand. "An egg?!"
Wufei looked up and saw Jason scamper. "MAXWELL!!!" he yelled, going up the stairs three at a time.
"Proceed with Stage Two!" Jason shouted into his walkie-talkie as he ran from Wufei. "Maxwell out!"
'Must complete the mission,' Jonathan thought. He stealthily crept along the wall with a bucket of water balloons and peered into the dining room. 'Target sighted.'
Heero sensed movement and shifted his gaze the tiniest fraction, spotting his son take a large pink water balloon out of the bucket. He fought to keep his face impassive as Jonathan aimed it at Milliardo…
"Ready to surrender, Yuy?" asked Milliardo.
"On the contrary, you are going to be in for a very nasty surprise," said Heero.
"What?"
SPLASH.
The pink balloon connected with the back of Milliardo's head, completely dousing him with cold water. "What the hell?!" He turned around to find out who the culprit was as Heero slammed his hand into the table.
"OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jonathan made a run for it as Milliardo bolted after him, cradling his hand. "YUY!!!"
Jason ran down the stairs with Wufei at his heels as Jonathan led Milliardo into the dining room. Jason narrowly dodged a table as he ran straight at Jonathan. At the last second, the two boys swerved around each other and ducked under the legs of Wufei and Milliardo.
So perhaps it was because they were too enraged to see clearly, or because egg yolk or dripping hair were obscuring their vision, or maybe simply because there just wasn't enough time to stop, that Milliardo and Wufei collided, their heads hitting together with a sickening crack. The two bounced off of each other like rag dolls and fell to the floor, completely stunned.
Jason ran forward with his sister's purple Polaroid camera and snapped a picture. He and Jonathan triumphantly slapped high fives over their unconscious uncles.
"Mission complete!"
~*~
"Oh, my aching head…" moaned Milliardo as Relena applied some ice to the nasty bump that was starting to form on his head (Noin having had to go into another room to try and calm down from fits of hysterical laughter).
"Onna! Stop fawning over me!" Wufei snapped as Sally tried to apply an ice pack to his bump, only to have Wufei dodge it.
"Keep still, Wufei!" said Sally. "I have to stop the swelling!"
The two culprits were sitting on a pair of chairs in the kitchen before Duo and Heero.
"First of all, I've gotta say, that was brilliant. I've never seen anything like it. Pure genius," said Duo. "Do we really hafta punish them?"
"Yes!" said Hilde and Relena.
"Kids, that was a terrible thing to do," Duo said sternly. "Very terrible…"
"You saw him, didn't you, Yuy?" said Milliardo angrily. "Why didn't you stop him?"
Heero just shrugged, his face expressionless.
"Don't give me that, Yuy! Answer me! Owwww!" Milliardo groaned as pain shot through his head.
"Try not to talk too loud, Milliardo, I'm afraid you've got a slight concussion," said Sally. "My husband here, on the other hand, has a very thick skull… or maybe just a very thick head…" she added as Wufei ducked away from her ice pack.
"Onna! Get that thing away from me!"
"That boy inherited nothing from you, did he?" Milliardo snapped, turning on Relena as she tried to put more ice on his bump. "There's not a single drop of Peacecraft blood in that boy!"
"Milliardo, please! I'm trying to help!" cried Relena.
"You put your son up to this, didn't you, Maxwell?" Wufei shouted as he dodged Sally's ice pack for the umpteenth time.
"What? No! I didn't know anything about this!" said Duo. "That was a very bad thing to do, boys, very bad!" he scolded.
"Heero!" said Relena. "Don't you have anything to say about this? My brother now has a concussion because of what Jonathan did!"
"Yeah," Heero said in his monotone, slowly moving toward his son. Jonathan swallowed fearfully as he looked up at his dad. Heero reached out…
…and fondly ruffled Jonathan's unruly brown hair.
"That's my boy."
~*~
TBC…
