Disclaimer: I don't own Sony, Squaresoft or Final Fantasy VII, and unfortunately, I don't own Vincent Valentine either x.x;

Ok, the fic goes from Vincent's life as a Turk, till that moment in which Cloud asks everyone to go back and think if they have something to fight for. It's been a while since I last played FFVII, so I apologize if something doesn't seem to be coherent, same goes for spelling and grammar mistakes u.u;

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life....I assume the world holds no adjectives to describe the ride I have had. My mind can't grasp the memory of when I felt truly happy.for probably it never existed. I doubt my light will extinguish soon, the J-E-N- O-V-A cell I carry won't allow it. Death.eternal rest, how I yearn it.

I write my memories down in an attempt to free my mind, free my heart from the burden I have carried for the last 27 years, have I no intentions of having someone to read them, and it is here that I flashback my life.



-"Being a former Turk, I may be of help to you..."



The sole reason of my burdens can be said to be the monopolist corporation, Shin-Ra. At a very young age I widened my interest for this place and its actions, of course not to mention the amounts of money they paid their workers. The very fist time I heard of it was from a friend, a scientist that was currently working in a top-secret experiment, like he described. My family, being not a wealthy one had deprived me of certain luxuries, for example a good education, stealing my chances of acquiring a top rank job.

My mother was ill, my father's drinking problems had accentuated over the flown of days, decreasing the amount of money that was meant to be distributed over on the house. In those times, my hatred towards my dad and its problem grew stronger.a man that didn't care about the woman he loved, neither for the son he had deserved no respect. But I enclosed my feelings, I evaded my dad, and got non-permanent jobs that allowed me to get a good, at least enough, amount of money to pay for my mother's medicines and things I needed, that is until she passed away.

Mark, his name was, the scientist I previously talked about. He was aware of my situation, and after considering it, he became my guidance, in a way of speaking. He figured a plan that involved my participation in an elite group of fighters and marksmen, known as Turks. The job didn't involve the knowledge or wisdom I lacked of, all it required was one's will and disposition for realizing the job, be cold blooded, and that was the thing I played the best.

I guess my friend's presence in the company helped in the process of selection, after days of waiting any sign of admittance, I received a letter that summoned me to a meeting with no other than the man with the last name Shin-Ra.

Wild thoughts run through my mind.this was my chance, my awaited chance to do what I wanted the most.be someone, outstand and of course, obtain money with an -easy- job. What could happen?

Literally, everything.

My Turk rank was low, but I soon caught the eyes of my supervisors, I think I heard them once say my face held no expression when I pushed the trigger of my gun, when my lips molded the words that called out those lethal spells.my heart was full with.happiness and rejoice.

With my quick promotions, I gained respect over most of the workers, but now that I think of it.I guess they.feared me, they feared the demon trapped inside me.ironic, things haven't changed.

Around 5 months after my final promotion, President Shin-Ra formed a group, marking a deep emphasis on keeping the whole affair below the water.I wondered. The briefing was clear and straight to the point: guard a group of scientist in their journey to the Shin-Ra mansion located in Nibelheim. Professor Ghast and Hojo were in charge of conducting the experiments.

The Turk squad remained oblivious to the task the scientist we were give, not even the leader had been said a word of the whole thing.

Four days past after the briefing and finally we embarked. It was in Costa del Sol that we were introduced to the elite group we would be guarding. Old men and old women, thin and eyes shadowed by glasses, I somehow found it hilarious. But among the crowd, a young woman stood there, alone, looking down at some papers whose importance I did not know. I believe I lost my head the moment my eyes locked down on her.I felt something.new, something I was pleased with.

Far I was from knowing my days were counted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~