[Sorry for the delay on this chapter. Don't worry though, it's kinda long, and it's ALL about Obi-Wan! It's got drama, angst, insanity, and a slight hint of romance. Everything a good chapter needs, eh? Well, it'd be nice if at some point Obi danced out of the story and told me he loved me, but we can't get everything we want out of a chapter, can we? ^_~]





Sleepily the sun stretched its rays of light as it awakened from its nightly slumber. Obi-Wan, however, hadn't slept until morning came. The queen had clearly been too troubled to be left alone. He quietly spoke to her and eased her into a much-needed sleep. He hadn't understood really why she had been so saddened. She hadn't truly known him. "I'd hate to see her lose someone close to her," he thought, "The results of such an event could be truly disastrous."

But there was so much he didn't know. Amidala wasn't weeping for his lost master. Her heart was breaking for him. She hated to see him go through this and act as though he felt nothing. Hatred blossomed in her heart against Qui-Gon. How could he do such a thing to his padawan? Of course, being a young queen focused only upon Naboo and its needs, she didn't truly understand the Force and why it controlled their lives. Still, the Force seemed terribly cruel to her if it caused such drastic occurances to happen.

He had been sitting there all night just watching her. She had been so kind to him; kindness certainly wasn't a familiar face to him anymore. Although she beautiful, kind, and clearly showed some sort of interest in him, Obi- Wan buried those mere hints of feelings as well. At least he tried. While she slept, he couldn't help but watch her and silently wish for a love he knew he wasn't meant to have.

"Oh your majesty, if only..." he whispered then shook his head, "It's silly, you know, the way I secretly wish you might find it in your noble heart to love a foolish jedi like me. Terribly silly..."

One would think Obi-Wan would have welcomed such a beautiful distraction to free him from the guilty feelings that danced mocking circles around his heart, but of course he forced himself to bury his feelings. It's nearly ironic how a distraught jedi buried good feelings and allowed the bad feelings to come forth and hurt his fragile mind. How ironic.

"Besides, Qui-Gon wouldn't have approved. 'You must always listen to the Force, young padawan; the Force always comes first,' Master always said. But, the Force seems to betray me now. Master told me when I was a young boy that... when someone dies, you would feel it through the Force. It was the way a jedi would let go without having to show his or her emotions. But... I feel nothing. The Force tells me he's... alive, but I know that isn't true. I saw the Sith attack him. I saw him fall. It was my fault.. all my fault... and.. I feel nothing..." Obi-Wan whispered.

The thoughts continued to race through his mind destroying what little pieces of sanity they could as they ran. When morning drew near, Obi-Wan gave in to his body's needs and allowed himself to fall into another restless sleep.

She had heard quite a bit of his whispered debating but had acted as though she had been sleeping peacefully. She gazed at him and sighed softly. "How my heart breaks for you, Obi-Wan..." she whispered so softly she could barely hear herself. Once Obi-Wan had drifted into his needed slumber, she finally allowed herself to truly fall asleep.

Morning's hours passed by far too quickly. The sun was wide-awake and stretching all of his rays when the young queen finally arose from her slumber. Obi-Wan hadn't moved and at that she smiled slightly. However, immediately after she left to begin the usual long and tiresome process of becomming the artistically-attired queen of Naboo, those gray-blue eyes quickly fluttered open. He mentally scolded himself for falling asleep, although he knew the young queen certainly didn't need protecting anymore.

He slowly stretched and moved toward the window. It seemed a parade was beginning outside the palace. Music and laughter filled the streets. Flowers and confetti were being tossed all about. Gray-blue eyes took in every detail of this ceremonious display only to be interrupted by a certain queen dressed as a mere handmaiden.

"You should be out there, you know. You've said that your place is with your people. You don't belong in this place while they're rejoicing over your victory." Obi-Wan said.

"It... it just seems wrong to celebrate, considering the circumstances." she said, although truthfully she didn't want to leave Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon meant nothing to her now. He was a terrible, terrible man in her eyes. It was Obi-Wan whom her heart wept dearly for.

"Although Qui-Gon was never a fan of celebrations, he understood the need for them. If he were here now, he would want you to lead your people in the most wonderful celebration Naboo has ever seen." he said, then suddenly his tone became more distant, "He always enjoyed seeing all life forms happy. He hated tears... always hated tears..."

"Well, I shall go then, but... only if you're there with me. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to watch from a distance since you contributated so greatly to our victory." she said.

"If that's what you want.." he said, obviously not wanting to go but willing to make the weary queen happy again.

The parade was even more glorious once they were part of it. For a little while, Obi-Wan's mind was free from its constant suffering. He stood beside the queen upon the staircase of the outdoor plaza. Esteemed Gungan generals and Naboo pilots rode proudly in the parade. Everything was so wonderful and beautiful, especially the queen of Naboo herself. Dressed in a white gown with a lightly-colored feather boa draped around her, she was an angelic sight. Her face was painted like a porcelin doll, and her hair was intricately put up. Obi-Wan, however, looked the same as he always did. Although his cloak was new and his light sabre was that of his supposed late master's, he looked like the same Obi-Wan. However, the gaze in his gray-blue eyes and the expression upon his face were far from ordinary. It was a haunting gaze that no one dared to meet. His face was etched with a sadness no one dared to greet.

Boss Nass triumphantly rode to the front of the parade. Amidala was beeming with happiness. "Perhaps this has eased her troubled mind," Obi-Wan thought. He nearly smiled for her, but the typical jedi syndrome wouldn't allow him to do so. The Gungan leader slowly made his way up the stairs to greet the young Naboo queen. An attendant handed the unlikely pair a crackling, blue ball. They had called it the Globe of Peace. Boss Nass held it proudly in the air.

Yet something about it taunted Obi-Wan's fragile mind.

Snap.

Hiss.

Crackle....

Snap.

Hiss.

Crackle....

The faint crackling was so familiar to that of his weapon. Qui-Gon's weapon. The Sith's weapon.Snap. Hiss. How it haunted him. Snap Hiss. How it taunted him. Snap. Hiss.

He knew his actions would seem rude, but he couldn't just stand there and listen to that constant crackling. His mind was already growing too close to insanity for comfort. Snap. Hiss. All his ears heard in the midst of the parade was that crackling. Snap. Hiss. He ran down the backside of plaza, down the stairs, down the street, into the hanger, into the all-too- familiar battle scene.

That scene, as terrible as it was, began to replay itself before Obi-Wan's weary eyes. He clutched Qui-Gon's light sabre in his trembling hands. He moved as though to attack a Sith that wasn't there. His imagination was beginning to play tricks on him. He moved down into the generator area, slashing his light sabre back-and-forth. He leapt down where he had fallen, then leapt back up as he had done before. He stopped at the security curtain and stared blankly as though he could see Qui-Gon kneeling in meditation and Darth Maul lurking back-and-forth like a wild animal preparing his attack.

Suddenly, the curtains lifted, and he ran. He tried to quicken each step. He tried to make himself a little faster. He tried to soar upon the wings of angels, yet the demons seemed to hold him back. He stood behind the last curtain and stared blankly again. "Just hold on, Master, be strong! You can win, Master! I'm coming, Master! Wait for me, Master!" he pleaded. He saw the blade, that horrid red blade, hit his beloved master. But how badly had it burned him? Obi-Wan blinked, as though he weren't quite sure of what exactly had happened. Still, he screamed pleadingly as though he thought it would heal his falling master.

The curtain lifted, and he re-enacted the fight as though the Sith himself were standing before him. Again he killed the Sith. Again he ran to his master's side. Did he really look as though death was upon him, or was it, perhaps, the wearyness that comes from such a battle? His breathing was labored, but then, so was Obi-Wan's after such a battle. The words were again spoken. The solitude was requested. The padawen left the fallen master.

"I don't understand," he thought as he reached out to the Force that seemed to betray him, "Why can't I let him go? Perhaps... perhaps if I stay this time, I can see him vanish. Perhaps... Oh, Force, show me! Show me!"

A movement caught his attention. Qui-Gon rose to his feet and dusted himself off. He spoke something, but Obi-Wan couldn't hear it. He had a little trouble seeing his master, for his vision from the Force was becomming weaker as he watched. Doubt was beginning to seperate his mind from the vision. Still, he saw what he needed to see. Qui-Gon walked away. He got up and walked away as though he was perfectly fine.

"I don't understand!" Obi-Wan called out, as though he expected the Force to explain itself at that very moment. He fell to his knees as his head throbed from the confusion and misunderstanding. He wept, not out of sadness, but from the unanswered questions that taunted his fragile mind.

"Obi-Wan..." the suddenly timid voice of the queen called.

He turned toward her, tears streaming down his cheeks, but said nothing.

"What... what happened?" she whispered, barely able to get her words out properly. She knelt beside him and stared into his eyes, desperately searching for the answers she knew he would never say to her.

Slowly wheels began to turn in his mind. Something was rotten in the current state of things. It was as though sudden realizations were being made. All the things his weary mind had noticed yet hadn't been able to ponder slowly came forth.

"Where's Anakin?" he asked, suddenly.

"He's at home with his mother." Amidala said, caught by surprise.

"Who took him there? Surely you didn't send him off alone." Obi-Wan said, his tone suddenly cold.

"Captain Panaka escorted him..." Amidala said, wishing she didn't have to lie.

"When? He hasn't left the palace." Obi-Wan said, a sudden blaze of anger burning in his eyes.

"I... I don't know... I thought he had taken Anakin home. I.. I had ordered him to..." she stammered. She stared at him with a nervousness suddenly coming over her. He never seemed this cold before. Anger had never danced in his eyes like this before. "Obi-Wan, if there's something you want to ask me.... then ask me directly." she said, dropping as much of a hint as she could without breaking her word to Qui-Gon.

"Why? How do I know you won't lie to me again?" he hissed.

"Ask me directly. Stop dancing around the real question." she said, closing her eyes to push back the tears. Obi-Wan had never been so cruel to her. He never spoke to her like this.

"Is it possible Qui-Gon is alive?" he asked. For once he hadn't called him Master. His tone was cold and nearly hateful.

"Yes, it is." she whispered.

"Then what are you keeping from me? Don't lie to me again, your majesty." he said, although her proper title sounded nearly sarcastic.

"He.. he came to me last night, just before you came in. He said.. he said he was taking Anakin home because he would bring balance to the Force. He said he didn't want to hurt you, but that he had to. He... he told me to comfort you and get your mind off it. I told him I wouldn't lie to you. He said to keep you from asking about him. I again stated that I wouldn't lie to you. He said... he said that if you found out it could risk his life, your life, and Anakin's life. He said it could lead you to insanity or... or to the dark side." she said as tears fell from her eyes.

Obi-Wan said nothing. Anger continued to blaze through his eyes. The mere thought of it sickened him.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, I wanted to tell you... but... I promised.. and... I didn't want to risk your life... or your mind... or... your noble jedi heart. Obi-Wan, it wasn't supposed to be like this! Please, Obi-Wan, please believe me. I... I love you, Obi-Wan, please don't think I'm lying to you. I truly love you, Obi-Wan, and I didn't want to hurt you. My tears were not for your master, they were all for you. My heart broke for you, and now it's breaking all over again. Please believe me," she pleaded through choked sobs.

He stared at her, and for a moment the anger buried itself deep inside. He embraced the young queen, struggling to calm her enough to speak to her. She trembled terribly as though she truly feared the worst. Her porcelin makeup had started to wash away from the tears.

"I know you wouldn't lie to me about that. Somehow I know you love me, but... anger dwells in my heart. As a jedi, we aren't supposed to hold anger. You see, fears lead to anger, anger leads to hatred, and hatred... hatred leads to the dark side of the Force. I can tell you, honestly, hatred is beginning to form in me. It's dangerous for me to remain here with you. I... I don't want to hurt you, but feelings of pure hatred are blossoming within me." he said softly, "I need to see the Jedi Council. I shall return to you, I promise you that."

"Let me go with you then, please, Obi-Wan. My heart already goes with you." she pleaded.

"It's not safe for you." he whispered.

"Then let me hate him for you. Hatred isn't permitted for a jedi. When you wouldn't cry and mourn, I wept for you. If you aren't allowed to hate him, then let me hate him for you. Please, Obi-Wan... please..." she whispered through her tears.

"No, your majesty, this isn't your battle to fight. You must stay here with your people. They need you. I shall fight this battle myself, and I will return to you." he whispered.

But would he return? Hatred danced its deadly dance within the depths of his heart. Although he knew the feelings he felt were completely wrong, he made no effort to let them go; secretly, he embraced them.