Zim climbed into his Voot Cruiser and pressed a button to unlock a compartment. Zim cackled as the compartment sprung open to reveal dozens of Zim's disguise. "Pathetic human."
After he adjusted his eyes and hair, Zim called to Gir through one of his gadgets, "Gir, if they get inside the base, activate the gnomes."
"Master, I will," Gir responded hysterically and slurped loudly. In the background Dib screamed, "Release me! Release me, now!"
Meanwhile, on Zim's yard…
A greasy-looking blond man was dressed in camouflage pajamas and pink bunny slippers. He was obviously the leader and he rallied the mob, "Alright men, the dogs tell us that we are close. We must have found the alien's hideout."
One man, the local sheriff (a fat donut-chomping man), shouted, "Eh, what do we do now, Greasy?"
"Hmm," Greasy thought hard, "Let's tell the alien that we don't like his boots…on our planet!"
The crowd cheered and waved their torches and roared, "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US."
"All your base?" Zim wondered and accelerated his cruiser from the attic. The crowd was too busy protesting to notice Zim land several yards behind them. Zim set the cruiser to auto pilot and ordered it to return to base. He scowled at the crowd and yelled, "Hey! HEY! Hey you there!"
The crowd turned to stare at the strange-looking Zim. They became silent and confused. Greasy emerged and said, "Hey kid, what are you doing here? Go home. Only adults are allowed to vandalize property at night."
Zim cleared his throat, "My friends, I'm here tonight because I have caught the alien."
Excited gasps and whispering ran through the crowd of old, young, and smelly.
"He is a prisoner in my house," Zim pointed to his house.
"Let's make him into meatballs," declared an Italian chef in chef attire.
"I want his blood," Count Coco fang drooled.
"I'll get him for you, if you'd like." Zim smirked.
Greasy, who had looked at him doubtfully, suddenly became cordial, "Well in that case, go ahead."
Zim approached his porch and the crowd made way for him to reach his door. Zim stopped at his door and added, "However, we must execute the alien."
Shouts of approval rose from the crowd and a woman decided to strip. Zim smiled at the jubilant humans who praised him.
"Tonight," Zim said proudly, "We go to the local executioner's block. And it will be a most glorious execution!"
The crowd shushed and watched Zim. When Zim opened the door, he looked up for his foe and the crowd gasped with anticipation. Suddenly, a blow sent Zim tumbling into the mob.
"Traitor!" A spectacled alien in trench coat emerged from the door and pounced on Zim.
The crowd formed a tight ring around the contenders and cheered when Zim jabbed "the alien" repeatedly in the jaw. Blood spurted from Dib's nose as his head flew back, and he lay on the ground motionless. Zim stood over the fallen Dib to speak to the crowd, but Dib took the opportunity to grab Zim's legs and slammed him facedown to the ground. Dib crawled forward and his hands reached for Zim's face.
Zim rolled over to see Dib's approaching hand and shrieked, "GET THE ALIEN!"
The crowd roared a war cry, pulled Dib away, and lifted him amidst angry torch fire. Dib was stunned and knew only to save himself. Dib shouted in a familiar voice not his own, "Computer, turn on the gnomes!"
Eyes slowly glowed red and lasers beamed from the lawn gnomes. Smoke and the smell of cooked flesh descended upon the screaming crowd, and Dib and Zim returned to fight hand-to-hand in the chaos.
"Computer," Zim panted as he dodged a punch, "I am ZIM!"
"No, I am!" Dib gasped and nearly tripped on a dismembered arm.
"Computer, remove him!" The two shouted simultaneously.
Metallic limbs flew out of the door and flew into the rescue. Dib and Zim found themselves both entangled in a web of metal.
Meanwhile inside the base, Gir pulled open the stove door and inserted a tray of cupcake batter. He eagerly flicked the switch. Instantly, the gnomes came to a halt and the lasers vanished. They stood mutely among maimed and burnt bodies that littered the yard. Greasy and most of the others had managed to stay alive.
Zim called to the crowd, "Release me! We must eliminate this alien now!"
A mechanic emerged with a chainsaw and began releasing Zim. Dib, however, they removed him in his metal prison.
*** *** ***
Gaz sipped some soda and savored some pizza. She watched the television with an amused look.
"It is 12 am at the local execution," WHUH anchorman said happily, "We are about to witness the torture, mangling, and eventual death of the monster that ravaged our city!"
"Ah, yes," said a bright looking co-hostess, "It's a beautiful morning for guts to flood the autopsy table."
Both anchors looked at the screen. The alien with glasses was stretched on a table with each of his limbs tied to the four corners. He struggle fiercely and screamed, "I'm not an alien! I'm DIB! Gaz! Dad! Where are you?"
The anchorman laughed gently, "And he's sure a fiesty one! Oooh, Kate, look at him scream and struggle, isn't that just adorable?"
"That's right Ted and he thinks he isn't an alien!" Kate joined Ted's laughter and suddenly stopped, "Oh, but look! The execution is about to begin. Let's watch in!"
The camera made a sweep around the sea of restless people that had gathered around the execution platform. Hundreds of tiny torchlight flickered merrily but one floodlight shone on the platform and Dib. When a dark figure approached the autopsy table, the camera zoomed in onto Zim and the victim.
Zim leered at Dib, "Maybe they'll name this one after me."
Zim looked at his patient. Dib so resembled an Irken that Zim shuddered at the thought of the autopsy.
"Here are your tools," the mystery girl entered silently and wheeled in a cart with sharp medical instruments. She promptly disappeared into the darkness.
Biting his lower lip, Zim grabbed a scalpel and it gleamed blindingly. He fingered and studied the knife.
"Zim," Dib said panic-stricken, "You're only killing yourself. I have your blood; I have your organs; I…am…you."
Zim lowered his eyes and scowled the imposter. He slammed the knife down…into the tray. The knife trembled and flickered and Dib held his breath. Zim hissed, "You will never be Zim. I am the only ZIM."
Zim reminisced back to recess and the children, Blue and Green. In one of his mile-deep labs, he had experimented turning them into aliens and then back, and the experiments were supposed to work but they always went horribly wrong. The children were never completely alien or completely human again. Zim wondered if it had anything to do with removing too many organs.
"Hmm…" Zim peered at Dib's lips and his left claw felt for a pair of tonsils, "Mmmm. Hmm."
"What?! Zim, what are you doing?" Dib's eyes widened.
"Oh balogney," Zim smiled. Suddenly Zim frowned fiercely and plied Dib's mouth open with tonsils. He plunged his hand into Dib's mouth until his elbow was barely visible. Zim fumbled a bit in Dib's insides and pulled out an organ. As the crowd cheered at the bloody lung, Zim stared at Dib who had turned a very pale green. Zim scowled and jammed the organ along with his arm back through Dib's mouth. The next time, Zim emerged with a long white organ, and the crowd grew more frenzied for blood. Dib could scream now, and his shriek rose faintly above the roaring crowd. "That," Zim told the tortured Dib with a grin, "was your squeedly spooch."It's not what you think! I swear! Unless if you've been reading really really carefully, you'd think I just killed Dib and Zim is the ultimate evil. I have to admit I love Zim and evilness is sexy…but I'm not that evil. So read the epilogue, man, you'll see how things turn out.
