No Need For KidK!

An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage

Part 2--Party Down!

          You know what?  This is the first time ever that I've posted a fanfic chapter by chapter.  As in not all at once.  As in I didn't have this chapter ready to go when I posted the first chapter.  This has never happened before!  I've always been at least one story ahead of my self-imposed deadlines!  It must be all this vacation stuff…distracting me from my writing.  Oh, and by the way, I sincerely apologize for not having a Christmas story written in time for the holiday.  Blame my parents.  Or blame my penchant for spending entire days playing 'Majora's Mask.'  Or you can just not blame anybody and look forward to my Christmas tale sometime in the future.  These stories follow a semi-logical progression of events anyway, so it would've been necessary to skip ahead if I had written a holiday story, so it's probably better that I'm waiting.  It'll be a nice reminder of the Christmas spirit when I finally get my butt in gear and write it, I promise.

          Ah, well, enough rambling…on with the story!  As you probably remember, since you aren't stupid, the gang has just surprised KidK with a going away party!  What fun!  Of course, much of the fun belongs to Mr. Vasquez, not to me.  I'm just borrowing it for a while.  Oh, and I'm gonna warn you right away--extreme sweet gooshiness ahead, and a healthy dose of Johnny-style philosophy as well.

The scene is Zim's lab!  But you knew that!  Oh, who cares anyway?  There's partying to be done!

KidK (overcome with joy):  Ooooooh!  You guys are so sweeeeeeet!  I don't deserve this!

Gir:  Sure ya do, Missy!  We luv you!

KidK:  Aw, Gir, I luv you too!  Is all this your doing?

Dib:  Actually, it was my idea.

KidK:  I really shouldn't be surprised at that.  After all, you were my very first friend.  C'mere, Dibby.  ^_^

And so the hugging begins!  How sickening (I'm jealous of KidK and her actual friends, in case you didn't notice).

Zim:  Hey!  It's my lab we're using!  None of this would've worked without me agreeing to compromise my security!

KidK:  In that case, you get over here too!  (she grabs him around the waist and pulls him into the hug)

Mike-the-Brother:  I did the food…well, except for Gir's so-called cake.

KidK:  You know, I had a feeling you were a good brother, deep down inside.  Join the hug party!  (he does)

Gir:  Whee!  Hug party!  (he jumps on KidK's head in typical fashion)

Gaz:  Hey, all of you!  What, you think you own KidK now?  Get outta my way!  (she pushes her way into the odd group hug)

Mike-the BrotherIsn't this a nice way to spend time together?  (note: actual Mike catchphrase)

KidK:  Whose foot is this?

Mike-the-Brother:  Mine.  Hey, Dib, get your hair out of my face!

Dib:  Get your face out of my hair!

Zim:  I don't remember signing up for this squeezing!

Gaz:  Is this your hand, Zim?  Get your paws off me!

KidK:  Gir, why are you sticky?

Gir:  I was makin' paper chains!  See?

KidK:  Yes, they're very pretty, Gir.  Um, guys?  You can let go now.  (everyone separates)  Oh, how can I thank you all enough?

Mike-the-Brother:  But you haven't even seen everything we've done yet!

Gaz:  Yeah, if you think you're happy now, just wait until we're through with you.

Gir:  Oooo, do you mean the presents?  Is it present time?

KidK:  Presents?  Oh, no, guys, please don't…I haven't done anything to earn any of this!

Dib:  Yeah, you have, and you know it.  I'll go first.

Zim:  Nuh uhI'll go first!  I'm her best friend!

Dib:  You think so?  Who came up with this whole party idea in the first place?

Zim:  Well, who took KidK out for a night of fun and didn't mind getting drenched and beaten up?

While they fight in the background, Gir pulls a package out of his head and hands it to KidK.

Gir:  Here ya go! 

KidK (unwrapping the gift):  Let's see…a box.  And inside the box…tissue paper.  And inside the tissue paper…wow, Gir, are you sure I can have this?

Gir:  Yeah! 

KidK:  But…this is your favorite Piggy!

Gir:  He told me he'd be sad when you go away, so I thought he could go with you…(he bursts into tears)  I miss you, Missy!  I wanna go with you tooooooo!

KidK:  Aw, don't cry Gir.  I'll come home every weekend and see you.

Gir:  *sniff*  Really?

KidK:  For sure.  And don't worry, I'll keep Piggy safe for you while I'm at skool. 

Gir:  You can take him to all your classes so he can get smart like you!

KidK:  Can you get any cuter?

Gir:  I don't…know…  Can I get another hug?

KidK:  But of course!  Thanks for the gift! (she gives Gir a squeeze--awww) 

Zim (noticing this):  Hey, what's going on?  Gir, did you give KidK a present?

Gir:  Yes.

Zim:  How could you!  I was supposed to go first!

Dib:  No way!  I was!

Zim:  Me!

Dib:  Me!

Gaz:  Doesn't sound like they're gonna shut up anytime soon, so I may as well give you my present now, KidK.

KidK (taking the offered package):  Oooo, purple and silver!  This is great paper, Gaz!  (she tears it open)  Cool!  Terry Pratchett's Thief of Time!  Where did you find this?  It's not even supposed to be out in the U.S. yet!  And it must've cost a fortune in hardback like this!

Gaz:  There haven't been very many good games out lately, and Dad's so distracted that I got him to give me three weeks' allowance every week this month.

KidK:  It feels like I've been waiting ages for Pratchett's latest, and now I can read it!  Thanks so much, Gaz.

Gaz (a little embarrassed):  Yeah…well…

KidK (reading the jacket):  Hey, this one features one of my favorite characters!  Death's granddaughter returns!  (note:  …oh, just go read it--it's too hard to explain)  Yay!

Gaz:  Um…hey, Mike, didn't you have a present too?

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh, yeah!  I forgot!

Zim (running over):  Oh, no you don't!  I'm next!

Dib (tackling Zim):  We'll see about that!

KidK:  Those silly boys…so, what've you got for me, Mike?

Mike-the-Brother (shyly):  Just this…(he holds out a huge stack of papers)

KidK:  What in the world…?  (she looks at the top sheet)  Oh my god!  No you did not!

Gaz:  Didn't what?

Gir:  Yeah, lemme see!

KidK:  Mike made me a Tenchi Muyô comic! 

Gaz:  Wow, you drew that all yourself?

Mike-the-Brother:  Yeah…it took a really long time, and it's not very good, but…

KidK:  Whaddaya mean, 'not good?'  This is awesome, Mike!  (she flips through the pages)  Look, you made this Ryoko perfect!  And this Sasami is so cute!

Gir:  What's it about?

Mike-the-Brother:  Well, it's kinda similar to what's going on right now, as a matter of fact.  See, in the comic all the Tenchi characters are friends with you, sis, and they want to throw you a going away party. 

KidK:  And of course chaos ensues, right?

Mike-the-Brother:  Right.

KidK:  Oh, I can't wait to see what you make everyone do!  Thanks, bro!  I really appreciate it!

Mike-the-Brother:  ….No problem!  ^_^ 

A quick author's note:  this is based on reality.  My real actual brother, Michael, really actually made me a Tenchi Muyô comic called 'No Need for Goodbyes!' to give me as a farewell present.  He worked on that thing for ages, just so he could give it to me on the night before I left for skool.  It's a lot better than he gives himself credit for, and in fact is one of, if not the best present I have ever received in my entire life.  Proving once again that though younger brothers can be annoying at times, they really can be sweet when they want to be.  OK, enough sappiness, back to the show!

Dib:  See what you did, Zim?  Now you're going to be last!

Zim:  Not a chance!  You're the loser here, not me!

KidK:  Uh oh, now how am I going to settle this…?

Dib:  I'm first alphabetically!

Zim:  Not according to the Irken alphabet, you're not!

Gaz:  How about I smack them both, and whoever falls over is the loser?

Mike-the-Brother:  Or I could give you both their gifts and claim I made them…

Dib and Zim:  No way!  (they shut up and stop bickering)

Gir:  They should play the game that the pretty girls on Sailor Moon always do!

Mike-the-Brother:  You mean Jun-Ken-Pon?

Dib:  What's that?

KidK:  It's the Japanese version of Rock-Paper-Scissors.  Sounds like a decent enough idea to me.  Oh, I feel so loved right now…people fighting over giving me presents…

Zim:  What is this game you speak of?

Gir:  You just do like this, Master!  Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!  (he holds his hand out flat--paper)

Zim:  And that's all?

Gir:  Yup!

Zim:  Fine, then, let's do this.

Dib and Zim:  Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Zim has, unfortunately, copied Gir's movement exactly, not knowing that he had two other options.  Dib, being very smart and all that, has anticipated this mistake.

Dib:  Yeah!  I win!

Zim:  But…you aren't holding your hand the right way!  How can you win?

Dib:  This is called scissors, Zim.  It beats your paper.

ZimWhat?!  Gir, why didn't you tell me I could do that?

Gir:  I always pick paper!

Mike-the-Brother:  It's true, he always does.  Which is why I always get to choose my character first when we play Super Smash Brothers.

Dib:  So that means I get to show you my present first, KidK!

KidK:  It must be good, if you'd make such a fuss about it!  I'm so excited!

Dib walks over to a large, nondescript form which has been covered by a sheet.  You'll probably notice that it's plugged in where one of Zim's machines should be, and think, 'Hey, that must be what he was talking about in the last chapter!'  Well, wait no longer to find out what it is, because Dib has dramatically flung the sheet off it to reveal…

KidKOhmygosh!  How in the world did you get a…oh, it's too wonderful to even say it!

Dib (proudly):  I made it myself.

KidK:  You didn't!  Geez, you're even more talented than I thought!  I never imagined that I'd ever have my own brainfreezy machine!

Dib:  It works just like the one at the 7-11.  All you have to do is add ice and whatever flavor of juice you want, and you can have brainfreezys anytime you want!

KidK:  Yeeeeeee!  This is the best going away party ever!  Oh, Dib, you have my undying thanks for this!

Dib (he's cute when he blushes):  It's nothing…

Zim:  Oh, how very true.  Now, KidK, if you are finished gawking at that monstrosity of Dib's, you can now feast your eyes on some real gifts!

Dib:  Gifts?  Plural?  As in more than one?!  That's cheating!

Gaz:  I don't remember this being a contest, Dib.  Now quit flapping your jaw!

Zim:  KidK, you will notice that over here is your beloved karaoke machine, a device which seems to provide you with hours and hours of noisy, disturbing fun.  But look!  Why, I believe some new features have been added to it!  Now who could be responsible for that, I wonder?

KidK (examining the karaoke machine):  Ooooo, different buttons!  What do they do?

Zim:  Well, thanks to my awesomely huge genius, you can now sing along to more than just CDs and cassettes--you can sing along with the radio!

KidK:  The radio?  But how?

Zim:  It's all very…technical.  You probably wouldn't understand.

KidK:  Yeah, you're right.  Hey, this means I have access to songs I don't technically own!

Zim:  That is correct.  But that's not all!  You see, this radio is not your ordinary really-only-like-ten-stations-and-a-bunch-of-static radio.  I've made it possible to access any station on this planet!  And thus your karaoke possibilities have been made endless!  Wahahahahaaa!

KidK:  Coooooool!  But…wouldn't that mean just more ways for me to annoy you while you work?  Why would you want that?

Zim:  ………What?!  Oh no, you're right!  I…hadn't thought of that! 

KidK:  Aw, that's sweet.  You were so overcome by the spirit of giving that for once you didn't think of yourself.

Zim (not paying attention):  Anyway, it's not like you'll be here every day anymore.  I can work during the weekdays and you can have fun on the weekend.

KidK:  Sounds like a good deal to me!  Thankies, Zimmy,

Zim:  Oh, don't thank me yet!  I have yet more wonders to bestow upon you!  And here they are!  (he thrusts a gift box into her hands)

KidK:  I like opening presents.  Whee, here I go!  (she rips it open)  Oh, wow, what're these doo-hickeys?

Zim:  These 'doo-hickeys' are very advanced Irken wrist communicators.  You use them to talk to people who are great distances away.

KidK:  Like a video phone but little?  Neat!

Zim:  Yes, they are indeed 'neat.'  Here, give me your arm.  You'll have one…(he straps the gizmo, which resembles a watch with a little screen and numerous buttons on it, to her wrist) and I'll have the other!  So if you…you know…ever want to talk to me or anything…

Mike-the-Brother:  Well, isn't that cute?  Zim and KidK keeping in touch across the miles…a long-distance love story a la Tenchi in Tokyo!  (Mike and I like Tenchi analogies, in case you didn't notice)

Dib:  Hey, don't keep KidK up too late with your professions of love, Zim.  She has to study, after all.

Zim:  Shut up!  That's just what these are for!  If she has any questions about science or math or anything, she can ask me!  That's all!

Gir:  I thought Missy got out of taking science this time!  She was soooo happy!

Gaz:  Yeah, and she's not taking Calculus, she's taking Topics in Math for Liberal Arts Majors.

KidK:  That's the idiot math for kids who are…math idiots! 

Dib:  I didn't know you were a math idiot--you got A's in Calc last year!

KidK:  Sure, but I'm sick of Calc.  Differentiation with fractions and non-real numbers makes my eyes water!  The only reason I'm taking any math at all is because I need to fulfill my cores!  (note for non-college peeps:  you hafta take a certain amount of courses under a bunch of different headings to graduate--they're called 'cores')

Mike-the-Brother:  You know all that, Zim!  KidK's been traipsing around the house gloating at me about her schedule for weeks!  Why don't you just admit that you want to talk to her?

Zim:  I don't care what you all think!  I'll do whatever I want and that's it!  I don't need anybody!  It's just that…I don't want to forget what her goofy face looks like, since we won't be seeing each other all the time, that's all.  And I don't want her to go off and start hanging around with moronic college monkeys and forget that she's got perfectly good friends waiting for her at home!  Well, excluding Dib, of course.

KidK:  Don't worry.  I could never forget about any of you.  Mike especially, cuz he's my brother and I love him.  But…(she smile at each of her pals in turn) Zim, Dib, Gir, Gaz…you guys will always be the best friends I've ever had.  Just because I'm going to be away five days out of the week doesn't mean that our friendship has to change at all.  It's not like you guys won't have skool and homework to worry about yourselves, either.  All of us have to work really hard during the week so we can have fun together on the weekends.  So come on!  Let's make an anime-skoolgirl-style pact to all do our best!  (she holds out her hand palm down)  Who's with me?

Gir:  I am!  (he puts his hand on his friend's)

Dib:  Me too!  Not that I don't always work hard at skool.  (his hand is added to the pile)

Mike-the-Brother:  It's not like I have a choice, since Mom and Dad get on my case about grades…  (his hand joins the stack)

Gaz:  I always do my homework quickly, so I can play my games, so I've got no problems making this promise.  (she adds her hand)

KidK:  Well, Zim?  What do you say?

Zim:  I…I'll do it too.  Yes!  I'll work hard to learn all I can about this planet so I can achieve my goal of conquering it!  Oh…what's the word I'm looking for…people yell it in such situations on those brainless foreign shows you like…

KidK:  Makenai?  'I won't lose?'

Zim:  That's it!  Makenai!  (he triumphantly slams his hand onto the pile)

KidK:  Yay!  Friends forever!  (they all reclaim their hands from the group)

Mike-the-Brother (he thinks a second):  …Hey!  I'm not a skoolgirl!

Gaz:  That's OK, Mike.  It's the thought that counts.

Dib (pointing at Zim):  I'm not friends with him.

Zim:  Yes, that little ritual thing we just did doesn't mean I'm forced to be friends with the Dib-monkey, does it?

Gir (singing):  Lalala never give up, ganbaru wa!  I'm gonna roll in wrapping paper now!

KidK:  Heehee…I luv you guys…I'm so glad we can all be together…

Just then, as if on cue, the screen on Zim's main console begins to flash.

Computer Voice:  Front doorknocker has been engaged!  Possible entry of intruders is imminent!  Initiating security lockdown!  (doesn't that voice sound familiar…hmm…)

Dib:  Security lockdown?!

Mike-the-Brother:  What's that supposed to mean?

Gaz:  Someone's at the door, I think.

KidK:  Zim, can you stop that thing from barricading us in here?  I'll go get the door.  Though I can't imagine who it could be at 9:00 at night…unless…(she bolts for the elevator)

Mike-the-Brother:  What was that all about?

Dib:  I dunno.  (trying to sound ingratiating)  So, Zim, how's your security lockdown system work, anyway?

Zim:  Well, mainly it…hey!  Don't even think you can fool me that easily!

Gir:  Lookit me!  I'm wrapped up like a present!

Remember, Gir is covered in glue.  Well, now he's covered in glue and wrapping paper.  He's a festive sight to behold, indeed.  Meanwhile, KidK runs up the first flight of stairs and throws open the front door, surprising the tall, dark figure waiting outside.

KidK:  'Nny-kun!

'Nny:  Whoa, hey!  How did you know it was me?

KidK (shrugging):  Who else'd visit me this late at night? 

'Nny:  Oh.  Right.  Do you mind if I come in for a minute?

KidK:  No, you can stay as long as you want.  (she leads the way upstairs and the two plunk down on the couch)  Sorry the house is all dark--my parents are out and we're all having a party downstairs.  We're gonna karaoke 'til the cows come home!  And eat cake!

'Nny:  Well, I won't keep you away long.  I just wanted to wish you good luck in skool and give you this.  (he hands her his manila folder--hey, you remember right?)

KidK:  Gosh, all you guys keep giving me stuff!  (she opens the folder)  Oh, a pretty picture!  Is that…you and me and Gir at the 7-11?

'Nny:  Well, yes.  You know I draw comics, right?  Well, I just couldn't resist putting our first meeting down on paper.  So…I drew the scene--from the moment you knocked me over to when I left the store.  I know they're not so good;  I'm hardly an artist, but…

KidK:  You and my brother!  You both make me pictures and you both start naysaying them before I even get a chance to look at 'em!  Now let's see…(she looks at each of the pictures in turn)  These are really good!  I like this one where we've all got our 'freezys.  Hee, I remember you were so quiet then--who would've thought that in a couple month's time we'd be sitting together on my couch?

'Nny:  Certainly not me.  At the time I was thinking, 'Here's a beautiful moment in time, something to treasure forever as a perfect, happy fraction of a second…something to freeze-frame and tuck away in the mind's corners to remember forever.  So now I've extracted those memories and reproduced them, however imperfectly, to share them with you.  This is my thanks to you, Missy, for giving me so many wonderful moments.

KidK:  It's funny, but I remember everything the same as you do--and I'm sure I cherish them just as much, though I could never have created anything like this.  What a precious reminder of a fateful meeting, and the happy feelings behind it!  Thank you, Johnny, for taking this brief moment in time and immortalizing it for us.  (see, I can be serious when I want to be!  So there!  And yes I am aware of my very obvious reference!)  But don't you want to keep them with you?  They're your masterpieces, after all.

'Nny:  Hey, you read my mind!  Well, sort of.  I made copies at Staples this afternoon.  One to have at my house, and one to fold up little and keep with me wherever I go.  And on that note, I'll be going.  Farewell, Missy, and I hope your life continues to be happy.  (he gets up to leave but is stopped)

KidK:  You people are all the same, acting like I'm leaving forever and that you'll never see me again!

'Nny:  Well in my case, at least, that's true.  I won't ever see you again.

KidK:  And why not?

'Nny:  Because tonight…when you threw open the door and greeted me with that smile of yours…that's the limit.  What could be better?  Tonight is the peak of our happiness--it can only go downhill from here.  I'm sure you can understand this:  I don't want our time together to ever become just a dull routine; I don't want to feel like I have to see you because that's what I always do.  I want every memory to be beautiful, and for every time we see each other to be a breath of fresh air, as it is now!  But I know that's impossible--inevitably the decay will begin to set in.  And, even barring that, I have an unfortunate tendency to screw things up just as they're getting good.  So, it's best that we end this here, now, before all that sickness starts to cloud our clear, bright memories.  (gods, he makes me sad)

KidK:  Well, that's all well and good, and I appreciate your sentiments, as you can probably tell by the fact that my face has turned a rather embarrassing shade of red.  However, your argument is not without flaws, so won't you please hear my rebuttal?  (I'm a born lawyer, so sue me--hahaha)  First, let me ask this rhetorical question:  how can you be sure this is the best time we'll ever have?  The future is forever changing, so how can you know?  I have a good deal of personal experience to prove that this is impossible.  If I had said to any of my other friends that, for example, the time we went to the karaoke bar was the happiest we'd ever be, we would never have had all the other crazy adventures we've had since then.  Every time we get together we have fun, and it seems like we become better and better friends every time we meet.  So who's to say that the same can't be true of you and I?  Since you seem to value happiness so highly, let me ask you--would you deny yourself the chance to find out

'Nny:  Well, when you put it that way…yes, I acknowledge that your theory has at least some validity.

KidK:  Good!  So don't spoil everything with that kind of pessimistic outlook!  Let's just be spontaneous and make our future bright and full of happiness!  (please excuse me, I'm having an attack of anime-obsession)

'Nny:  Well, now I have something else to thank you for; thanks for talking me out of what might perhaps have been the biggest mistake of my life since accidentally shooting myself in the head.  Yes, this will be a lovely experiment--if you're right we'll be happy forever, and if I'm right, well, I suppose I can always say 'I told you so.'

KidK (skeptically):  Did you say you shot yourself in the head?

'Nny:  Yeah, and let me tell you, Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be.  At least my hair eventually grew back.

KidK:  Okaaaaay.  So…you wanna come downstairs and join the party for a while?

'Nny:  ……..nah.  Like I said before, I'm not very good in a crowd.  I don't really enjoy being in close proximity to other people.

KidK:  And yet you're sitting next to me.

'Nny:  That's different.  You know that.  I just…I don't want to accidentally do something that might upset you. 

KidK (matter-of-fact):  Listen.  I've got one friend who's a megalomaniacal alien bent on destroying all mankind, and another friend who wants to see that first friend autopsied on TV.  My only female companion probably wouldn't notice if Armageddon occurred, so long as her video game isn't interrupted.  And you know Gir.  What have I got to fear from you?  You say you don't want to hurt me, and you never have yet.  So I trust you completely.

'Nny:  Such innocence.  You are lucky to have that kind of faith.  Such a beautiful mind…. 

KidK:  Oh, and Dib built me my very own brainfreezy machine.

'Nny:  Well, who am I to argue with you?  If it would make you happy, I will join you.

KidK (gleeful):  Yay!  Come on!  (she leads him down the stairs)

'Nny:  But I'm not going to do any karaoke.

KidK:  Aw, man…  Well, we'll see if you can resist the mighty power of…the All-Stupid-Eighties-Songs Station!

'Nny:  Oh, believe me, I can.  There's nothing in the world more humiliating than trying to sing along in front of people.  Karaoke is something that I simply will not do.  Ever.  …don't look at me like that!

KidK:  ^_^

Five minutes later:

KidK, Gir, and 'Nny (singing—what else?):  You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round, round round…
 
Zim (off in the background):  Who invited him?!  You humans are becoming an infestation!
 
Dib:  I'm not going to complain, are you?
 
Mike-the-Brother:  No.  I can only imagine what would happen then.
 
Ten minutes later:
 
KidK, Gir, and 'Nny:  We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher!  Whoa!  We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher!
 
Gaz:  Can you take it somewhere else?
 
Dib:  Hey, that was actually pretty good, sis!
 
Gaz:  Keep it down, already!
 
Twenty minutes later:
 
KidK, Gir, and 'NnyOne way…or another…I'm gonna find ya…I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha!
 
Mike-the-Brother:  Oh, God…now they're dancing.
 
Dib:  This is just sad.
 
Zim:  Hmph.  They'd better cut it out soon.
 
Thirty minutes later:
 
KidK, Gir, and 'NnyNinety-nine knights of the air ride (yelling with glee) super high-tech jet fighters!  (normal voices now)  Everyone's a superhero, everyone's a Captain Kirk.  With orders to identify, to clarify and classify…scramble in the summer sky, ninety-nine red balloons go by!
 
Zim (fed up):  Oh, that's it.  This is the last song they're going to sing.
 
Gaz:  Why?  Why stop them?  Or are you tired of bugging just me now?
 
Dib:  They're being annoying.  I mean, enough's enough.
 
Mike-the-Brother:  Yeah, but…who's gonna go over there and tell that Johnny guy he can't sing anymore?
 
Dib (nervously):  I nominate Zim!  Oh, yes, Zim would be perfect for the job!
 
Zim:  Well, finally you are talking some sense, human!  Yes, I shall put an end to this insanity!
 
Zim strides toward the karaoke machine, where the extremely happy trio is dancing to the musical interlude in the middle of '99 Red Balloons' (did I just write a sentence involving 'Nny, happy, and dancing?).  He opens his mouth to start his prepared tirade, but is silenced by five of the most heart-stopping words he can ever hear.
 
Gir:  Yay!  Do a solo, Missy!
 
KidK:  With pleasure.  ^_^  (singing in her 'best voice') Ninety-nine dreams I have had, in every one a red balloon…  It's all over and I'm standin' pretty…in this dust that was a city.  If I could find a souvenir, just to prove the world was here…  And here is a red balloon.  (she notices Zim and gives him a smile)  I think of you, and let it go…
 
Zim:  O_o…………..Nooooooooo!  Not the singing!
 
KidK (looking at Zim quizzically):  Huh?  What do you mean?
 
Zim:  How can I berate you while you're singing with that…voice of yours?!
 
KidK:  Why would you berate me in the first place, Zimmy?
 
Zim:  Aaargh!  There's no point in saying anything now!  But can you please stop with the singing?
 
KidK:  OK.  I'll just put on my Aqua CDs for background music.
 
'Nny:  Ah, Aqua.  Pop at its best and most pointless.
 
Gir:  Pop!  Heehee, pop!  I like that word, pop.  (screaming)  Pop!
 
'Nny:  Alright, Gir, why don't we go and try out that brainfreezy machine?  
 
Gir:  Yeah!  Pop pop 'freezy pop!
 
KidK (indicating the music):  So, is this better, Zim?
 

Zim (blank horror):  The music…so loud and bouncy…what kind of lyrics are these?  They don't make any sense!

KidK:  It's not Aqua's fault they're from Denmark and don't know good English!  I suppose you could do better?

Zim:  Of course!  Duh!

Dib:  Well then let's see you do it, Zim.  Do a karaoke with your own lyrics!

Mike-the-Brother:  Yeah!  As if karaoke couldn't get any more embarrassing, make up your own words!

Zim:  Well, I…

Gaz:  He can't.

KidK:  Aw, what's wrong, Zimmy?  I wanna sing with you!  We can make up the words together!

Zim (looking around to find all eyes on him):  Um, now that I think about it, the lyrics are just fine how they are.

KidK:  Man, I was looking forward to singing a new song too…that was a good idea, Dib.

'Nny (looking up from his 'freezy):  I'll do it with you, Missy.

Gir:  Me too!  It's fun!

The three happy karaoke-ers begin plotting further musical fun, and Zim stomps over to the food table, where Mike and Dib are laughing hysterically at him and Gaz has begun a game of 'Fast and Furious Fists of Fire.'

Mike-the-Brother:  Uh oh, look what you've done now, Zim.  They're just gonna take over the mic again.

Gaz:  At least if Gir's over there he won't be spilling punch on me…again.

Zim (folding his arms angrily):  Huh.  If that guy's gonna sing with KidK all night

Dib:  Jealous, are you?

Zim:  No.  I just think…he's not…and she…

Gaz:  Oh yeah, he's jealous.

Mike-the-Brother:  Heh heh, he sure is!

Zim:  No I'm not!  I will destroy you all!  But first, I'm going to put a stop to this pointless frivolity!

Back at the karaoke machine…

KidK:  So, boys, what song should we try to remake?

'Nny:  Definitely Aqua.  And one that has a decent amount of male lyrics.  (he slurps the 'freezy)  Ahhhhh…this is actually quite good.  Perhaps I might ask your little friend to build me my own 'freezy machine, so I don't have to go out among the brain-dead throngs to get my fix. (again with the slurping)  What were we talking about again?

Gir:  Let's do 'Freaky Friday!'  I like the part when the girl gets hit by a truck.  And plays on the highway!  That's fun, I did it once…Master was mad when he had to replace my leg…

KidK:  Er, OK, 'Freaky Friday' it is, then.  You wanna plan something first, or just go for it?

'Nny:  Well, I've always been a fan of spontaneity myself.  Gir?

Gir:  Let's do it, my homies!

KidK:  Homies?  Gir, what have you been watching?  Oh, well, just let me fix the machine up…

Zim (breaking in):  Not so fast. 

KidK:  Oh, hallo, Zim.  What's up? 

Zim:  What's up?  What's up?!  What's up is that you three have been having all this merriment over here by yourselves for such a long time, and I won't stand for it!

KidK:  OK, fine, what do you want to do?

Zim:  I don't have to take your backtalk, you!  Wait, what?

KidK:  I said, what do you want to do now?  I want us to all have fun, and you should get to pick something to do, since you were nice enough to take me out tonight.  (she smiles disarmingly)

Zim:  Well, I was just thinking…

Dib (calling from the food table):  That's a new one!  Imagine—Zim thinking!  Wow!

Gaz (smacking her bro):  Would you butt out? 

Mike-the-Brother:  Yeah, don't spoil the mood now!  It's bound to get funnier in a few seconds!

Zim:  I was just thinking that maybe…I could sing a song with you, if you wanted…that is, if your partners in loudness wouldn't mind.

Gir:  Sure!  (he hands Zim his mic)  Here ya go, Master!  Do a good one, 'kay?

'Nny:  Aw, that's cute.  Best friends doing karaoke together.  I'd say this is a Kodak moment, only I don't have a camera.

Zim:  Don't you make fun of me, you…you…guy!

'Nny (uh oh, mad):  I'm not!  Don't you accuse me, you little…

KidK:  Okay, okay, break it up.  Hey, Johnny, why don't you go and see what the others are up to over there by the food. 

'Nny (situation diffused):  Okay.  (to Dib, Gaz, and Mike)  Hey, you guys, wanna hear about the time when this jerk wouldn't sell me a brainfreezy?  It's actually kind of funny, in an ironic sort of way.  (Dib and Mike look rightfully fearful, while Gaz just shrugs)

Zim:  So are we singing or what?

KidK:  Well, if you're gonna be nasty about it…

Zim:  I'm not!  I'm not!  Now what should we do?

KidK:  Well, I haven't sung either of my absolute favorites yet, so we should do 'Doctor Jones' or 'An Apple a Day.'  You know those, right?

Zim:  How can I not?  You come down here and bother me with them practically every day!  I think 'Doctor Jones' would be easier to change the words to.

KidK:  OK, cool.

Once again, the machine is tuned up.  This time, however, the rest of the group takes more of an interest in what's going on, and come over to sit down and watch as if it's story time.

Mike-the-Brother:  This oughtta be good.

Dib:  Yeah, Zim singing his heart out for his one true love…

Gaz:  If you say one more word I'm gonna tie you up, carry you to the Camden Aquarium, and throw you in the shark tank!

'Nny:  Yeah, this could turn out to be a truly beautiful moment.  (slightly threateningly) Don't mess with Missy's happiness.

Dib and Mike-the-Brother:  Ahahaha…^_^*

Gir:  Master sings good!  I can't wait!  
 
Egad!  Beware of stupid rewritten lyrics!  Hey, it was a good idea in theory, OK?
 
KidK (starting off the song):  Sometimes, everything goes right--you've finally got friends for the first time.  Life's a treat, cuz you all are so sweet.  Each passing day's a delight!  (she does the little yodel-y thing that I won't even try to spell--you know the song!)  Now that summer is gone, I have to go to skool.  Please come and visit me there.  Oh, hey, that'd be so cool!
 
Zim:  KidK, I will be missin' you.
 
KidK:  You've made my life so bright.
 
Zim:  And all the stupid stuff you do.
 
KidK:  Wish I could stay!
 
Zim:  You get on my nerves every day!
 
KidK:  I luv to mess with you!
 
Zim:  But though you might annoy me so, I'll hate to see you go!
 
Gir:  Yeah!  Sing it!  Woo!
 
Mike-the-Brother:  Aw, man!  This isn't nearly stupid enough!
 
Dib:  Yeah, but he finally confessed that he likes KidK!  Well…sorta.
 
Gaz:  Hey, you said almost the same thing a little while ago, and without the insulting tone--does that mean you have a crush on her?
 
Dib:  No!  
 
'Nny:  I thought they were best friends, nothing less.
 
Mike-the-Brother:  Less?  Don't you mean more?
 
'Nny:  No.  But of course that's the clichéd way to think.  You're Missy's brother, so I won't challenge your belief system to the point where you don't know what's real and what's not.
 
Mike-the-Brother (unnerved):  Er, thanks.  I guess.
 
KidK:  All I'll think of is you, and all the good times we've had.  It stinks, but--what can I do?  It's just gonna have to be like that.
 
Zim:  KidK, I will be missin' you.
 
KidK:  You've made my life so bright.
 
Zim:  And you'd better miss me too.
 
KidK:  I want to stay!
 
Zim:  I'll always call you--every day.
 
KidK:  And, hey, I'll answer you!
 
Zim:  'Cause though you're walking out the door, I--oh, geez!  No, not now!  Not now!
 
Uh oh.  Now this is a problem.  The main console's screen is flashing the message 'Incoming Transmission.'  Not a very good thing to have happen to you when your mortal enemy, his sister, and a criminally insane person are currently in the vicinity.  Needless to say, the song is over prematurely as Zim frantically tries to figure out what to do.
 
Zim:  Um, I, er…everyone get out now!
 
Dib:  No way!  That's your evil masters calling, isn't it?  This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!  You'll finally be exposed as an alien, and other people will have to believe me!
 
Mike-the-Brother:  We already believe you. 
 
Gaz:  And we don't care.
 
Dib:  But…hey!  Johnny didn't know!  Oh, yes, I'll bet you'll care that Zim's a bloodthirsty alien, won't you, Johnny?  (pleadingly)  Oh, say you'll get all freaked out by the horror of it all, and will be a witness for my presentation to the FBI!
 
'Nny:  Why?  I've seen worse things than that kid.  Much worse.  I've been to Hell, you know.  And K-mart.
 
Dib:  ………………………….
 
Zim:  Would you all just get your filthy hides out of here?!
 
Gir (off in the background):  Do you think I should push it, Missy?
 
KidK (likewise):  Of course!  We've kept them waiting too long as it is!  It'd be impolite not to answer, since we're all at home and all…
 
Gir:  OK!  Heehee, I push da button!
 
Zim (noticing their intentions):  Noooooooo!
 
Dib:  Gaz!  Where's the camera?!
 
Gaz:  I gave it to Gir to get him to stop pestering me.
 
Dib:  Noooooooo!
 
The screen stops flashing its message and two very tall, very annoyed-looking Irkens are glowering down on the partygoers.  In a tragically ironic, yet highly unoriginal twist, Dib passes out from the excitement.  
 
Gir (waving):  Hiiiiiiii!
 
KidK:  Hallo, Red an' Purple!  It's good to see you again!
 
Red:  Oh, KidK, thank us it's you.  
 
Purple:  Yeah, we were worried we'd accidentally call when…he was around.
 
KidK:  Oh, you mean Zim?  He's right here, did you want him for something?
 
Zim (shoving KidK out of the way):  Greetings, my Tallest, so sorry to have taken so long to answer.  It's always an honor to be graced by your presence so what is it you want?
 
Purple (hurriedly):  Oh, nothing, nothing Zim, we want nothing from you!  In fact, we just wanted to say that you're doing such a good job and to just keep on doing it for as long as possible!
 
Red:  Yes, we don't want to see you for a long, long time!
 
Purple (a subtle plan…):  Because we know you'll be a great success, we don't even need to hear your reports at all anymore!  
 
Red (not so subtle):  Pleeeeeze don't ever call us again! 
 
Zim:  I thought you called me.
 
Purple:  Oh no, no, we would hate to disturb you and all that!
 
Red:  We called KidK.
 
ZimHerWhy?!  
 
Red (shrugging):  We got bored.
 
Purple:  Don't listen to stupid RedWe weren't bored, he was bored.  I told him it was risky to call at night but noooo--he wouldn't listen!
 
Red:  Oh, who cares!  What would we be doing now if we weren't doing this?
 
Purple (haughtily):  We are planning an assault on that little planet with universe's bubbliest soda for tomorrow.  Though of course you wouldn't remember about that, would you?
 
KidK:  Hey, let's not fight.  Why don't you stay on the line a while and join our party?  It'll be a nice break for you before you go back to your battle plans.  I mean, you deserve it, being the future lords of the entire universe and all…
 
Red:  Did you say party?  Sweet!
 
Gir:  I made the cake, Mister Red-man!  See, it's green and sparkly!
 
Red:  Cake?  You have cake?  Purple, why can't we ever have cake?
 
Purple (ignoring Red):  But…don't you need more than just you and Zim and that messed-up little SIR to have a party?
 
'Nny (wandering over):  Hey, Missy, I dumped all the punch on Dib and poked him in the head a little with a fork, but he's not getting up.  (he notices the Tallest)  Ooooo, are you guys Zim's evil overlords?  Oh please don't say you're going to kidnap us all on your spaceship and do experiments on us.  I'd hate to have to do to you what I did to the last aliens who decided I was a good test subject.  I mean, Missy seems to like you and all.  It'd be mean.
 
Red:  Missy?
 
Purple:  KidK, who is this creature?
 
RedMissy?!
 
KidK:  This is my friend Johnny.  He's a human like me.  'Nny, this is Purple, and the other guy laughing at my nickname in the background is Red.
 
'Nny:  Hello.  Gosh, you guys are a lot taller than that Zim kid.  I like your dresses.
 
Purple:  They're not dresses, they're robes!  And of course we're taller than Zim--that's the whole point, isn't it?  Why else would we be called the Almighty Tallest?
 
'Nny:  Oh.  (he thinks a second)  Your whole system is based on height?  Well, I suppose our system is based on money and, on an even deeper level, appearances, so…
 
Red:  Wahahahaha!  Missy!  Oh, that's too much!
 
Purple (smacking Red):  Stop making a spectacle of yourself!  We're supposed to be the supreme rulers of all we survey, not a couple of giggling idiots!  
 
Zim (breaking in):  Of course not, my Tallest, and these humans do not properly appreciate that, so why don't you just go before they insult you further?  (muttering)  And before the Dib-monkey finally wakes up.
 
Gaz (joining the crowd):  Dib's dead.
 
KidK:  Whaaaaaat?!
 
Dib (a little ways away):  No, I'm not dead.  I'm just resting.  
 
Gaz:  Too bad.
 
Dib:  Hey, why is this fork stuck in my head?  And why am I dripping wet?
 
Zim:  Well that's just great!  Why did you guys have to wake him up?!  Now I have to knock him out myself!  (he runs off, and sounds of a scuffle follow)
 
Purple:  Who is this Dib?
 
KidK (dismissively):  Oh, he's another one of my friends.  He's the one who planned this party to celebrate my going to college.  He's a paranormal expert and wants to prove to the world that Zim's an alien and stop his plans to take over the world.
 
Purple:  Soooo…he's a hindrance to Zim's mission?
 
KidK:  Oh, sure.
 
Purple:  And it'll take Zim a really long time to get anything done because of him?
 
KidK:  You could say that.
 
Purple:  Well, good.  It's nice to know that Zim will be kept busy for a good long while.
 
Red (slow on the uptake):  What's college?
 
KidK:  That's where human kids get sent for education when they're through with regular skool.  It's where we all learn the stuff we need to know to get good jobs.
 
'Nny:  At least that's what they tell us.  Really colleges are there to force you to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life before you know enough about the world to make that kind of a decision, thus boxing you into a specific field of work without first giving you a chance to find out if that's what you'd really be happy doing.
 
Gaz:  Yeah, and if that's not bad enough, you have to live there while you study, putting you in a situations where you have to interact with a bunch of people you don't know or care to know.
 
KidK:  And the bathrooms are icky!
 
Red:  Hmmm, maybe you guys are intelligent life.  That sounds almost exactly like the Irken Military Academy!  See…cuz we force everybody to go there whether they like it or not.  Oh, and from what I hear, they haven't cleaned out the bathrooms since before I went there.
 
KidK:  Sounds like a decent analogy to me.  So, are you staying?
 
Purple:  No.
 
Red:  Yes.
 
Purple:  Oh, come on!  Haven't you had enough fun yet?  We've got to formulate our strategy for tomorrow!  
 
Red:  Can I make all the decisions this time?
 
Purple:  Last time you made a decision, I got shot in the eye with a laser.
 
Red:  But everybody loved it!  And that wasn't military stuff, that was just a public appearance.  I'm good at military stuff!
 
Purple:  Oh, sure, if you like all-offensive-strikes-with-big-explosions-and-no-defense-to-speak-of-type plans!
 
Red:  Defense doesn't win you battles!  I'm telling you, big explosions are the best attack!  (he slams his hand down on the console to make his point more passionately)  Ooops, I just hit the off butt--
 
The screen goes black.
 
KidK:  Awwww!
 
Gir:  Heehee, Red-man said 'butt!'
 
'Nny:  Well, that was different.  Usually aliens just come in and either blast cities, mutilate cattle, or abduct people.  They don't normally fight about it amongst themselves beforehand…at least, not in any movies I've seen.
 
Dib finally runs over to the console, beat up and out of breath.
 
Dib:  Where…are they?  They won't…get away with this!
 
Gaz:  Get away with what?  They were just talking.
 
Zim (running over and grabbing Gaz):  Talking?!  About what?!  What do you knooooow?!
 
Gaz:  Get off me, space boy, if you want to keep your eyes.
 
KidK:  Don't worry, Zim, they didn't tell us anything important.
 
Dib:  I missed…my one chance…oh, the predictability of it all!  (he looks preoccupied)  And I think I lost a tooth.
 
KidK:  Zim, did you hit Dib?
 
Zim:  No.  Well, yes, but I couldn't let him ruin everything.
 
KidK:  That's no excuse.  Dib, lemme see your teeth.  Smile for me.  (she checks everything out)  No, you're OK.
 
Dib:  Oh, good, cuz the last thing I need to worry about is braces.
 
Mike-the-Brother:  Got a problem with braces?  (Mike's got them--just 'til March!  Yee!)
 
Dib:  Well, yeah.  I don't want to look like a total dork, right?
 
Mike-the-Brother:  I'll show you a dork!
 
Gir:  Can we eat cake now?
 
KidK:  Oh, yeah, good idea Gir!  Pass out the plates and I'll serve up that gorgeous green cake of yours!
 
'Nny:  I'll take mine to go, if you don't mind.
 
KidK:  Aw, how come?
 
'Nny:  Well, it's getting really late, so your parents'll probably be home soon, right?
 
KidK:  Yeah…so?
 
'Nny:  Well your father doesn't know me and I don't think your mother likes me much, so I figure it's best that I not be here when they come in.
 
KidK:  If that's what you want.  Hey, Gir, give 'Nny a piece and a fork.  We'll go upstairs and I'll wrap it up for you.
 
Gir:  Here ya go, Johnny-hair-man!
 
'Nny and KidK head upstairs, where she gets out the cellophane and makes a neat little package of the cake.
 
KidK:  Just wait one more second, OK?  I've got something for ya.  (she runs off to her room and returns with a cassette tape)  Here, for you!
 
'Nny (reading the side):  'J & K's Tape of Pointless Happiness.'  As in 'Johnny and KidK?'
 
KidK:  Yeah!  See, cuz you said your favorite kind of music is the kind that's totally pointless, but that has, and I quote, 'a pervasive message of happiness that just isn't present in much of today's music.'  I made a compilation of some of the happiest and most pointless songs ever made, from Aqua to J-pop to 80s rock!  I hope you like it.
 
'Nny:  Yeah, this is really nice!  I'll listen to it while I draw Happy Noodle Boy.  Oh, but that reminds me--I've still got your other tape.  Don't worry, I'll get it back to you tomorrow.  (he glances at the clock)  I mean today.  You guys have fun, OK, and I'll see you soon.
 
KidK:  Very soon.  ^_^
 
They walk to the door, and KidK waits until her friend is out of sight before going back downstairs to the party.  She is only slightly shocked to find the lab a mess, with cake and frosting all over the place.  Zim and Dib are locked in a heated argument, while Gaz and Mike are locked in digital combat.  Gir, who is covered with a coating of wrapping paper, cherry brainfreezy, and glitter, is dancing and singing at the top of his lungs.
 
Gir:  Heeeeeey, Macarena!  Aiight!
 
Gaz:  No, doofus, that'll never work against me!  What kindofa defense is that?
 
Mike-the-Brother:  The good kind!  Bring it on!
 
Dib:  No, you shut up!
 
Zim:  No, you shut up!
 
KidK:  Ah, my friends.  I'm really gonna miss this place.
 
The End
 
Well, No, Not Really.  There's An Epilogue Coming, So Watch Out!