In Love, Life and Death part 2
By Anonymous Donor
AD's note: Hey, loyal readers! Thanks for all the reviews of the first chapter. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Since you seemed to like it, I decided to continue it. All the ratings and such are the same from the prologue. It's gonna be kind of depressing, but you'll understand.
Still dedicated to those that have had to go through this on either side of the line.
~*~*~*~*~
"Heero, Wufei, I'm dying."
Two sets of eyes burned into Duo, while two more burned holes in the floor. Heero and Wufei were speechless for a long, long moment.
".Why? How? What's wrong with you? Maxwell, if you're just jerking my chain, there's going to be hell to pay." Wufei shot out quietly. Duo looked at him with all the seriousness that he'd ever possessed.
"Fei, I wouldn't make this up, now would I? I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I've got multiple myeloma. (1) It's inoperable," he said calmly as if it were no big deal that this disease had taken over his body and turned his youth into nothing more than a skeleton whiter then the bed sheets. Wufei slumped against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.
"When did you find out about this?" Heero said, finally speaking up. Duo sighed softly.
"About a three months ago. They thought that they'd be able to stop it, but it spread quickly and still is. Malignant is I think what they called it." Duo carefully sat up so he could look at them all. "There's still chemo and radiation that I am going through. There's a little light at the end of the tunnel. It will at least hold off the inevitable for a while." Heero's jaw clenched, hearing his friend say this. He couldn't imagine someone that was so full of life the last time they'd all been together so ready to die now.
Quatre had delegated himself to sit with Duo while the rest of the guys found motel rooms. Heero had called Sally and told her what had happened, barely able to contain himself. Wufei had done the same and the two women were on their way to visit the passing pilot. It was all so sudden and almost surreal, like it was all just a messed up dream.
As Quatre watched Duo sleep, he gently pushed back some of the hair from the pale face. He jerked his hand back as some strands of hair came out in his hand, having to stifle a sob at the sight of the cherished chestnut hair falling out. This is what the chemo did and it was horrifying to him. He didn't know how long he could be strong with one of his closest friends like this.
Trowa watched Quatre from the window into the room. The small blonde had been taking it hard. He'd break too soon. //How can Duo be so calm about this when the rest of us are on our last threads of sanity?// He quietly walked into the room and rested his hand on Quatre's shoulder. "You should rest." he said quietly as Quatre smiled up at him and nodded.
A few days later, Heero finally got the nerve up to go in and see Duo again. The others had been taking turns talking with him. When he stepped into the room, he smiled. Duo and Wufei were playing chess. "Who's winning?" he asked in his quiet baritone. Duo grinned.
"Wu's getting his arse royally stomped. 3-2," Duo peeped cheerfully. Wufei grumbled and started to put things away. He nodded to Heero as he walked by after shoving the board under the bed. Once the door was closed, Heero looked back to the smiling Duo. After a long silence, Duo spoke up. "Hey, Heero? Can I ask you something?"
Heero nodded his shaggy head. "Of course Duo." Duo smiled sheepishly.
"Well. Will you take me outside? I haven't been out in almost a month." he said, shyly playing with the ever thinning braid. Heero's lip quirked up into the semblance of a smile.
"Sure."
Later on Heero wheeled Duo back into his room and helped him back into his bed. "I still think that throwing rocks at pigeons was over doing it, Duo." Duo snickered.
"But I don't like diseased little flying rats!" he said, trying to defend his actions. "Just because I missed and broke one window." Heero rolled his eyes.
"Get some sleep, Duo. Quatre will be pissed at me if you're in any worse shape." Heero paused momentarily as Duo settled in. "Duo? Why are you so calm about all this?" Duo just smiled.
"I'll tell you later."
Weeks went by like this and Duo's health deteriorated more and more each passing day. Their nerves were shot. Duo had asked that they all come in to see him on this particular at one time. Something was up. Quatre could feel it and Heero wanted to just run away from it all.
As they gathered in Duo stark white room, they fidgeted nervously. Trowa helped the aching Duo to sit up. "Thanks, Trowa." Duo looked at everyone in the room. "Loosen up guys. It's not that bad," he muttered, voice dry and cracked.
"Why did you want us all here, Maxwell?" Wufei asked. He was afraid of the answer. As much as he tried to act like he hated Duo, he knew he really did enjoy the talkative American around.
"Well, the doctors talked to me yesterday during radiation," he said in a tired voice. (2) He breathed in deeply, then began to speak again. "They're giving me another two weeks to live, even with the chemo and radiation therapy. Had they caught it sooner they say they might have been able to slow it more, even maybe stop it, but it had started such a while before." he said in a tranquil tone. He was way too calm about this and Wufei finally cracked.
"Duo! How can you be so calm about this? Are you not afraid to die?" he managed to sputter, trying to keep his composition and failing. He hated to see his friend like this. Duo just blinked.
"Wu-man, I've just accepted it. There's no reason to deny the inevitable, especially when you've got doctors pumping dozens of chemicals or blasting high radiation beams into you (3) into just to hold it off for one more day. I'm not going to lie to myself and say that I'll be just fine and live happily ever after. I'm okay with it. I've made my peace with the Almighty and I've just accepted it. You guys should too," Duo explained carefully. Quatre had lost it and was sobbing quietly into Trowa's shoulder, while Wufei looked at the ground, almost as pale as Duo. Heero too looked at the ground, but Duo smiled. "Guys, remember three years ago up in space?" he asked quietly, holding out his palm where a long scar had formed. The others looked down at their similar scars. They remembered and nodded. "Well, you guys have the love and life part covered for taking care of each other. Looks like I'll be taking death."
Four sets of eyes became fogged over.
A week passed, then two, and finally a third week. Duo was bed laden, and Heero hadn't been back since then. He'd locked himself in his room and Sally had been going to see Duo instead. He couldn't take it. He finally found the courage to go see his friend again for what could be the last time. He stepped cautiously into the room and Sally smiled, leaving quickly.
"Hey, Heero," came a dry, cracked sound from the body on the bed in front of him. Heero had to bite back the cry that came to his throat as he saw the young man in front of him. Duo's hair was gone completely from the chemicals that were used during chemotherapy and the radiation therapy (4). "We need to talk." Heero nodded quietly. "I don't want to be buried, Heero. I don't want to be seen like this. I don't want to be remembered like this. Cremate me." Heero blinked the tears from his eyes.
"Why are you telling me this? Why didn't you talk to Trowa or Quatre?" he asked, shaking his head. Duo smiled at him.
"You're my best friend and I want you to take care of me after I'm gone. It sounds kind of sick, but it's true. Besides, I know you'll find a nice, peaceful place for my ashes to go. Somewhere by the ocean, Heero. That's where I want to rest forever," he said, sinking back into the bed with his eyes closed. "Have you ever been to the ocean, Heero? Not one of the simulated ones on the colonies? I know you've stopped there, but have you ever really *been* there, stopping to listen to the waves?" Heero wiped his eyes and turned to the door.
"I promise I'll find you a good spot." he said quietly before going out the door, then racing out of the hospital, knocking over one doctor and two candy stripers. He made it to a park and hid himself in the bushes to do something he hadn't done in year and years. He cried.
~*~*~*~*~
multiple myeloma: Cancer of the blood, muscles and bones. It usually grows on the bones and breaks them down. It's very hard to treat.
Chemotherapy and radiation therapy tire a patient a lot, making them less active, although doctors try to keep their patients as active as possible.
Chemotherapy and radiation therapy are two of the non-operation treatments of cancer. Chemotherapy puts certain chemicals in the body by way of pill or a catheter in the body to put liquid chemicals directly into the body. Radiation therapy uses ultra violet radiation lights to try to stunt the growth of the cancer.
One side affect of chemo is sometimes people lose their hair. I hated to do this to Duo, because his hair is gorgeous, but I wanted to be realistic.
AD's note: I've been doing a lot of research on all of this to try and get it right. I'm not into the medical field or studying this stuff so it's been interesting to find all this stuff out. The reason I dedicated this to people that have gone through cancer or have lost someone to cancer is because a dear friend of mine has lost someone, and my grandmother had cancer. I just wanted learn more about it.
By Anonymous Donor
AD's note: Hey, loyal readers! Thanks for all the reviews of the first chapter. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Since you seemed to like it, I decided to continue it. All the ratings and such are the same from the prologue. It's gonna be kind of depressing, but you'll understand.
Still dedicated to those that have had to go through this on either side of the line.
~*~*~*~*~
"Heero, Wufei, I'm dying."
Two sets of eyes burned into Duo, while two more burned holes in the floor. Heero and Wufei were speechless for a long, long moment.
".Why? How? What's wrong with you? Maxwell, if you're just jerking my chain, there's going to be hell to pay." Wufei shot out quietly. Duo looked at him with all the seriousness that he'd ever possessed.
"Fei, I wouldn't make this up, now would I? I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I've got multiple myeloma. (1) It's inoperable," he said calmly as if it were no big deal that this disease had taken over his body and turned his youth into nothing more than a skeleton whiter then the bed sheets. Wufei slumped against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.
"When did you find out about this?" Heero said, finally speaking up. Duo sighed softly.
"About a three months ago. They thought that they'd be able to stop it, but it spread quickly and still is. Malignant is I think what they called it." Duo carefully sat up so he could look at them all. "There's still chemo and radiation that I am going through. There's a little light at the end of the tunnel. It will at least hold off the inevitable for a while." Heero's jaw clenched, hearing his friend say this. He couldn't imagine someone that was so full of life the last time they'd all been together so ready to die now.
Quatre had delegated himself to sit with Duo while the rest of the guys found motel rooms. Heero had called Sally and told her what had happened, barely able to contain himself. Wufei had done the same and the two women were on their way to visit the passing pilot. It was all so sudden and almost surreal, like it was all just a messed up dream.
As Quatre watched Duo sleep, he gently pushed back some of the hair from the pale face. He jerked his hand back as some strands of hair came out in his hand, having to stifle a sob at the sight of the cherished chestnut hair falling out. This is what the chemo did and it was horrifying to him. He didn't know how long he could be strong with one of his closest friends like this.
Trowa watched Quatre from the window into the room. The small blonde had been taking it hard. He'd break too soon. //How can Duo be so calm about this when the rest of us are on our last threads of sanity?// He quietly walked into the room and rested his hand on Quatre's shoulder. "You should rest." he said quietly as Quatre smiled up at him and nodded.
A few days later, Heero finally got the nerve up to go in and see Duo again. The others had been taking turns talking with him. When he stepped into the room, he smiled. Duo and Wufei were playing chess. "Who's winning?" he asked in his quiet baritone. Duo grinned.
"Wu's getting his arse royally stomped. 3-2," Duo peeped cheerfully. Wufei grumbled and started to put things away. He nodded to Heero as he walked by after shoving the board under the bed. Once the door was closed, Heero looked back to the smiling Duo. After a long silence, Duo spoke up. "Hey, Heero? Can I ask you something?"
Heero nodded his shaggy head. "Of course Duo." Duo smiled sheepishly.
"Well. Will you take me outside? I haven't been out in almost a month." he said, shyly playing with the ever thinning braid. Heero's lip quirked up into the semblance of a smile.
"Sure."
Later on Heero wheeled Duo back into his room and helped him back into his bed. "I still think that throwing rocks at pigeons was over doing it, Duo." Duo snickered.
"But I don't like diseased little flying rats!" he said, trying to defend his actions. "Just because I missed and broke one window." Heero rolled his eyes.
"Get some sleep, Duo. Quatre will be pissed at me if you're in any worse shape." Heero paused momentarily as Duo settled in. "Duo? Why are you so calm about all this?" Duo just smiled.
"I'll tell you later."
Weeks went by like this and Duo's health deteriorated more and more each passing day. Their nerves were shot. Duo had asked that they all come in to see him on this particular at one time. Something was up. Quatre could feel it and Heero wanted to just run away from it all.
As they gathered in Duo stark white room, they fidgeted nervously. Trowa helped the aching Duo to sit up. "Thanks, Trowa." Duo looked at everyone in the room. "Loosen up guys. It's not that bad," he muttered, voice dry and cracked.
"Why did you want us all here, Maxwell?" Wufei asked. He was afraid of the answer. As much as he tried to act like he hated Duo, he knew he really did enjoy the talkative American around.
"Well, the doctors talked to me yesterday during radiation," he said in a tired voice. (2) He breathed in deeply, then began to speak again. "They're giving me another two weeks to live, even with the chemo and radiation therapy. Had they caught it sooner they say they might have been able to slow it more, even maybe stop it, but it had started such a while before." he said in a tranquil tone. He was way too calm about this and Wufei finally cracked.
"Duo! How can you be so calm about this? Are you not afraid to die?" he managed to sputter, trying to keep his composition and failing. He hated to see his friend like this. Duo just blinked.
"Wu-man, I've just accepted it. There's no reason to deny the inevitable, especially when you've got doctors pumping dozens of chemicals or blasting high radiation beams into you (3) into just to hold it off for one more day. I'm not going to lie to myself and say that I'll be just fine and live happily ever after. I'm okay with it. I've made my peace with the Almighty and I've just accepted it. You guys should too," Duo explained carefully. Quatre had lost it and was sobbing quietly into Trowa's shoulder, while Wufei looked at the ground, almost as pale as Duo. Heero too looked at the ground, but Duo smiled. "Guys, remember three years ago up in space?" he asked quietly, holding out his palm where a long scar had formed. The others looked down at their similar scars. They remembered and nodded. "Well, you guys have the love and life part covered for taking care of each other. Looks like I'll be taking death."
Four sets of eyes became fogged over.
A week passed, then two, and finally a third week. Duo was bed laden, and Heero hadn't been back since then. He'd locked himself in his room and Sally had been going to see Duo instead. He couldn't take it. He finally found the courage to go see his friend again for what could be the last time. He stepped cautiously into the room and Sally smiled, leaving quickly.
"Hey, Heero," came a dry, cracked sound from the body on the bed in front of him. Heero had to bite back the cry that came to his throat as he saw the young man in front of him. Duo's hair was gone completely from the chemicals that were used during chemotherapy and the radiation therapy (4). "We need to talk." Heero nodded quietly. "I don't want to be buried, Heero. I don't want to be seen like this. I don't want to be remembered like this. Cremate me." Heero blinked the tears from his eyes.
"Why are you telling me this? Why didn't you talk to Trowa or Quatre?" he asked, shaking his head. Duo smiled at him.
"You're my best friend and I want you to take care of me after I'm gone. It sounds kind of sick, but it's true. Besides, I know you'll find a nice, peaceful place for my ashes to go. Somewhere by the ocean, Heero. That's where I want to rest forever," he said, sinking back into the bed with his eyes closed. "Have you ever been to the ocean, Heero? Not one of the simulated ones on the colonies? I know you've stopped there, but have you ever really *been* there, stopping to listen to the waves?" Heero wiped his eyes and turned to the door.
"I promise I'll find you a good spot." he said quietly before going out the door, then racing out of the hospital, knocking over one doctor and two candy stripers. He made it to a park and hid himself in the bushes to do something he hadn't done in year and years. He cried.
~*~*~*~*~
multiple myeloma: Cancer of the blood, muscles and bones. It usually grows on the bones and breaks them down. It's very hard to treat.
Chemotherapy and radiation therapy tire a patient a lot, making them less active, although doctors try to keep their patients as active as possible.
Chemotherapy and radiation therapy are two of the non-operation treatments of cancer. Chemotherapy puts certain chemicals in the body by way of pill or a catheter in the body to put liquid chemicals directly into the body. Radiation therapy uses ultra violet radiation lights to try to stunt the growth of the cancer.
One side affect of chemo is sometimes people lose their hair. I hated to do this to Duo, because his hair is gorgeous, but I wanted to be realistic.
AD's note: I've been doing a lot of research on all of this to try and get it right. I'm not into the medical field or studying this stuff so it's been interesting to find all this stuff out. The reason I dedicated this to people that have gone through cancer or have lost someone to cancer is because a dear friend of mine has lost someone, and my grandmother had cancer. I just wanted learn more about it.
