Something terrible has happened.
It troubles me so much, as does the others. Everyone is mourning, even me, though my envy was once so great. But my poor Cloud grieves most of all.
Aeris is dead.
She was stabbed by Sephiroth's blade. He sneaked up behind her and drove the sword into her . . . I hate that man so much for it. So cruel and malicious, with only one desire - to gain control over everything in existence. I hate him for all those things.
But especially for what he did to Aeris.
Funny thing, though - even as her life was fading away, she had such a peaceful look on her face, as if she could feel nothing at all. I don't know . . . being a Cetra, maybe she didn't.
Now I feel worse about her situation with Cloud even more than when she was alive. I detested the fact that Cloud had his eyes fixed on her, but now I detest myself for ever making a place for that in my heart.
Why should I be upset? Aeris is gone now. Now Cloud may finally see me in a different light, rather than ignore me like usual whenever Aeris was around.
But that would make me a selfish brat. The truth is, I loved Aeris like a sister. She was a wonderful person to hang out with, and most of all, she made Cloud happy. At times she made me happy that Cloud was happy . . . at times.
But most of the time, though I liked her a lot, I resented the fact that she took a spot beside Cloud, a spot that I felt should have been filled by me. She stole his heart from me, and I just couldn't bear the loss.
I enjoyed Aeris's company, though. When I was around her, the fact that Cloud was in love with her haunted me, continually sticking in the back of my mind. I tried to suppress it, however, and found that when I did that, she really wasn't so bad.
But now she is gone.
Cloud refuses to be consoled. Now I can see just how much Aeris meant to him, and I ask myself, Is it fair to want him all to myself, when he loved her so much?
A voice in my head keeps trying to rationalize my selfishness. I know I shouldn't, and I hate myself for it, but somehow I'm still envious. How can I? It wasn't her fault Cloud loved her more than me; she didn't even know I loved him.
After all this confusion, I'm not sure I want to live anymore. I would gladly give up my life, if it would only bring Aeris back, and make Cloud happy again.
I could have saved her. I could have shouted a warning, or jumped in front of the blade. Cloud would still have her to comfort him, if he needed to be comforted after I'm gone. If he didn't miss me, at least I wouldn't be around to bear the pain of a broken heart.
But I did nothing to help Aeris. I know I could have, but I didn't.
How despicable.
There's only one way to make up for it: to get rid of Sephiroth once and for all. I'll never be able to forgive him for what he has done.
I miss Aeris so much. She was my friend . . . and even though she won over me, I cannot bear the burden of jealously anymore.
I will avenge her death. Sephiroth will pay for what he has done.
It troubles me so much, as does the others. Everyone is mourning, even me, though my envy was once so great. But my poor Cloud grieves most of all.
Aeris is dead.
She was stabbed by Sephiroth's blade. He sneaked up behind her and drove the sword into her . . . I hate that man so much for it. So cruel and malicious, with only one desire - to gain control over everything in existence. I hate him for all those things.
But especially for what he did to Aeris.
Funny thing, though - even as her life was fading away, she had such a peaceful look on her face, as if she could feel nothing at all. I don't know . . . being a Cetra, maybe she didn't.
Now I feel worse about her situation with Cloud even more than when she was alive. I detested the fact that Cloud had his eyes fixed on her, but now I detest myself for ever making a place for that in my heart.
Why should I be upset? Aeris is gone now. Now Cloud may finally see me in a different light, rather than ignore me like usual whenever Aeris was around.
But that would make me a selfish brat. The truth is, I loved Aeris like a sister. She was a wonderful person to hang out with, and most of all, she made Cloud happy. At times she made me happy that Cloud was happy . . . at times.
But most of the time, though I liked her a lot, I resented the fact that she took a spot beside Cloud, a spot that I felt should have been filled by me. She stole his heart from me, and I just couldn't bear the loss.
I enjoyed Aeris's company, though. When I was around her, the fact that Cloud was in love with her haunted me, continually sticking in the back of my mind. I tried to suppress it, however, and found that when I did that, she really wasn't so bad.
But now she is gone.
Cloud refuses to be consoled. Now I can see just how much Aeris meant to him, and I ask myself, Is it fair to want him all to myself, when he loved her so much?
A voice in my head keeps trying to rationalize my selfishness. I know I shouldn't, and I hate myself for it, but somehow I'm still envious. How can I? It wasn't her fault Cloud loved her more than me; she didn't even know I loved him.
After all this confusion, I'm not sure I want to live anymore. I would gladly give up my life, if it would only bring Aeris back, and make Cloud happy again.
I could have saved her. I could have shouted a warning, or jumped in front of the blade. Cloud would still have her to comfort him, if he needed to be comforted after I'm gone. If he didn't miss me, at least I wouldn't be around to bear the pain of a broken heart.
But I did nothing to help Aeris. I know I could have, but I didn't.
How despicable.
There's only one way to make up for it: to get rid of Sephiroth once and for all. I'll never be able to forgive him for what he has done.
I miss Aeris so much. She was my friend . . . and even though she won over me, I cannot bear the burden of jealously anymore.
I will avenge her death. Sephiroth will pay for what he has done.
