The We Hate Thayet With A Passion Club



Alanna enters the room in a big, black hooded robe. She stands at a podium facing many chairs. "Welcome to the We Hate Thayet With A Passion Club. I am President and Supreme Thayet-hater Sir Alanna the Lioness. As if you didn't know." She looks around the room smugly. "I am going to take the attendance now." She pulls out a long roll of paper. "Please say 'here' or 'present' when I call your name. Sir Alanna the Lioness of Trebond and Olau, and Baroness of Pirate's Swoop!" She races to a chair in the front row and raises her hand. "Present!" She runs back to her place at the podium. "Good! We're all accounted for.

"Next on the agenda is to read this morning's meeting record." She reads from a sheet of paper:

"I hate Thayet.

She sucks.

BIG time."

"Ok, now, is there any old business that we need to discuss?" She looks around the room, gazing at each empty chair. "Well, since there isn't any old business, on to the new stuff! This afternoon's meeting shall be focused on listing all the reasons why we hate Thayet:

She is stupid.

She thinks all that just because she holds the silly title 'Queen of Tortall', which she stole from me. As well as Jon.

She's nothing but looks, and she isn't all that pretty to begin with.

She bewitched Jon into thinking himself in love with her.

She stole Jon from me, forcing me to marry that big-nosed idiot George.

She thinks she's special just because she has her own group of soldiers, (who suck).

She stole my Jonny-poo!

"This meeting of the We Hate Thayet With A Passion Club is now adjourned. See you after dinner, when we will be listing devious plots and plans to get rid of 'Her Highness'." Alanna exits the room.



A/N: I really don't have anything against Thayet or George. I just really think that Alanna and Jon should have married. And this is just a silly little joke! Don't take it so seriously, people. It's not like I really care who married who in the books. FICTION!

Disclaimer- All of these wonderful characters belong to the genius that is Tamora Pierce. I just own the We Hate Thayet With A Passion Club. Apply for membership now!