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Should I Love You?

Chapter: Four
A Truth to be Told

Li shut the door quietly behind him as he hung his spring jacket on the coat hanger near the entrance. He slowly put the keys back into the basket and quietly walked towards his room.
"Hey Li, back so early?" Chiho asked in shock as he approached the hallway with Madison not far behind.
"Yeah," Li mumbled. "Oh hi Madison," he smiled weakly.
"Hi Li," Madison nodded noticing the sad expression on Li's face.
"So did you find out where you stood?" Chiho teased and nudged Li on the arm. There was a short pause.
"Yeah...I sure did..." Li shrugged and continued walking to his room. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to take a short nap," he added and closed the door. Chiho and Madison stood in the hallway silently, then walked into the main room.
"Where did he come from?" Madison asked curiously.
"Oh, I think he went to Sakura's house," Chiho shrugged and took a seat on the couch. Madison gasped.
"I wonder why he's so quiet," Chiho sighed and brushed the topic away.
"He found out..." Madison spoke softly and placed her hand on her chest as she sat down beside Chiho. Her face began to lose it's color as she slowly slid her hand up to her mouth. She was in complete shock.
"You can't be serious! If Sakura told him he'd be going mad right about now," Chiho argued.
"If I know Li, Sakura didn't tell him yet," Madison replied nodded her head slowly.
"What do you mean, didn't tell him?" Chiho asked in disbelief. "Nobody in their right mind would tell him," he pointed out.
"By the way he's acting, it's something much much worse than just finding out," Madison thought aloud.
"What could be worse than being told that you were being cheated on with a guy that looks and acts just like him??" Chiho asked giving her the eyebrow. Then he thought about that for a moment and shook his head. "Ugh, that is bad!"
"Wait wait wait!" Madison blurted out.
"Ahh! What??" Chiho jumped.
"Sakura told me that she was going to page Shigeru today to talk things out with him. She didn't tell me whether she was going to break up with him or anything but she said that she was just going to talk things through with him," Madison informed.
"That was it..." Chiho replied quietly.
"What's it?" Madison asked with great interest.
"Shigeru recieved a page today while they were playing basketball, he didn't say who it was but he did get paged," Chiho pointed out.
"Around what time was that??" Madison asked as if she was on to something big.
"Uh..." Chiho thought and closed his eyes.
"Come on Chiho think!" Madison said eagerly.
"I'm thinking! I'm thinking!" Chiho argued. "Keep you're panties on," he grumbled. Madison slapped his arm and he grunted.
"I think it was around...say...3:15...give or take a few minutes," Chiho shrugged.
"And what time did Li leave??" Madison asked with a vigerous nodd.
"I think around 3:30," Chiho nodded. Madison sat back on the couch in deep thought for a few moments. Then it hit her.
"Oh...my...God..." Madison gasped.
"What?? What??" Chiho asked shocking her.
"Li saw them..." Madison mumbled.
"Saw who??" Chiho asked totally confused.
"Sakura and Shigeru..." Madison spoke quietly.
"Oh...my...God..." Chiho gasped and fell back onto the couch beside Madison, both in complete shock.
"How'd you figure that?" Chiho asked trying not to face the truth for his friends sake.
"If you think about the time Shigeru got the message, and the time Li left for Sakura house, he was bound to be there around the same time Shigeru was talking to Sakura," Madison finished.
"But why would Li get mad over seeing them together?" Chiho asked as if Li had a jealously problem. Madison looked at him straight in the eyes and gave him the eyebrow.
"Oh...them...together...right..." Chiho nodded.
"Plus I don't think Li would have a problem seeing them together, but you know Shigeru," Madison sighed.
"What are we going to do?" Chiho asked in defeat.
"I'm not sure, but you be here for Li okay?" Madison instructed and began to stand up.
"Alright," Chiho agreed and walked with Madison to the door. "Are you going to talk to Sakura?"
"No, not just yet," Madison replied with a sad face.
"Okay, if you say so," Chiho nodded and kissed her good bye.
"Oh and one more thing," Madison said right before pressing the elevator button. "Don't mention anything to Meilin yet either," she added biting her lip nervously.
"Gotcha," Chiho grinned.
"If Meilin were to find out, there'd be a rebellion," Madison rolled her eyes and walked into the elevator.

Chiho let in a deep breath and knocked on the door. Maybe he was still asleep. He knew it was probably a bad time to talk to him but he knew that he had to say something. I mean, Li could be committing suicide at this very moment. Or perhaps just thinking about it. Either way Chiho knew that Li needed someone there to talk to, and he was all he's got. He knocked one more time. There was a muffled 'yes' through the door.
"Can I come in Li?" Chiho asked politely.
"I'd really like to be alone right now," Li replied quietly.
"Please Li, it's important," Chiho said worriedly. There was a pause and then the door opened. Chiho almost gasped when he saw Li's face. His eyes were so red that all the veins where showing. It looked like he hadn't slept for days. His hair was a complete mess, as if someone was trying to pull them out. His face, besides his eyes were the worst. His cheeks were all waxy and pale. He looked very ill.
"What did you want to discuss with me?" Li asked softly as he wiped his face with his sleeve. Chiho was silent at first, then Li sat back down on the bed.
"Are you alright?" Chiho asked with great concern. At first Li was motionless, then he slowly turned to look at him. There was this very sad and lonely expression in his eyes. He was longing for something.
"Okay, that was a dumb question wasn't it?" Chiho asked biting his lip nervously.
"I saw Sakura..." Li began releuctantly. Chiho kept silent knowing that Li wasn't finished yet. He just really didn't want to say it.
"I saw Sakura...she was..." Li continued and slowly lowered his head. "She was...with...Shigeru..." he sobbed and buried his face with his hands and let the tears out. Chiho remained silent and sat next to him, he too almost had tears in his eyes. Now he knew just how much Sakura meant to him. There are no words. There are know feelings. Just love.
"He was holding her in his arms...just like I used to..." Li said still weeping. "I loved her..."
"Li..." Chiho began, but there was nothing to say.
"Don't feel sorry for me," Li began firmly and wiped his tears away. "I was a fool to think that she'd actually wait for me!" he said shaking his head in disbelief. "How could I be so stupid!"
"No Li, don't say that," Chiho said trying to make him feel better. "Look, I'm sure she tried to tell you but-" he began.
"But nothing!" Li interrupted. "There I was, pouring my heart out to her, when all this time she was trying to tell me that she had broken her promise!" he concluded for his friend.
"Li you have to stop this, snap out of it!" Chiho yelled and began to shake Li. "Listen to me, it's not your fault!" he continued. "You kept your promise, and that was all you could do! Got it?" he finished and stopped shaking him. Li was silent for a moment and thought about what he had said. He calmed himself down and spoke.
"For the past seven years I've been setting myself up for this day, and it's finally come. I've been setting myself up to be hurt by the one girl that I'll ever love. But perhaps you are right Chiho, it wasn't my fault," Li sighed.
"It's okay Li, everything happens for a reason. Maybe what's happening to you and Sakura, is...an obstacle you must over come before you reach the top. The best relationships are the ones you have to wait for, and fight for," Chiho finished.
"I don't think that Sakura and I were meant to be though. You may be right about the whole relationship thing, but I think Sakura and I are lost now. There is no turning back anymore," Li nodded. Chiho was sad to hear this, but what must be shall be.
"Okay, well I better cook dinner now. Are you going to eat?" Chiho asked as he stood up.
"No, not tonight thanks," Li smiled weakly. Chiho sighed and shut the door behind him. Li turned to look out the window. He sat there for a moment staring at the night view, and slowly placed a hand on the glass.
"What did I do wrong..." Li spoke softly as a burning sensation stabbed his heart.

* * *

Sakura sank in her bed as she let in a deep breath. The feeling of sadness over flowed through her body. It seemed so long ago, she couldn't remember when she lost her heart. The distant faces in her mind faded away, until she was left all alone. She could show a smile, it wasnt hard to do. But the scar in her heart would be there...always. She had tried calling Li's apartment several times already. Twice yesterday, and twice today. Everytime she called either nobody picked up the phone, or Chiho made some excuse that he couldn't come to the phone just 'because'. She didn't know what to think, or what to do. But the one thing she knew she had to do was to tell Li the truth. Before something horrible happens. Suddenly the phone rang. Sakura quickly picked up the phone hoping that it was Li.
"Li?" Sakura asked excitedly.
"You wish," a familiar voice teased. "But even then, why would he be calling you? Isn't he supposed to be crying his eyes out by now?? Let me guess, you didn't tell him right?" the was a sigh from the other line.
"I just couldn't Meilin..." Sakura replied sadly.
"Yeah. I guess cheating on someone is much easier," Meilin agreed sarcastically.
"Hey! That's not fair Meilin!" Sakura argued. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen okay?!" she yelled angrily.
"Fine, let's say I bought that. So what are you going to do?" Meilin questioned.
"Well I have something to confess..." Sakura spoke quietly.
"Hey hey, don't confess to me. I'm no priest," Meilin reminded.
"Okay then. Let me rephrase that. The situation just became more complicated," Sakura said worriedly.
"More complicated?? How can it get more complicated???" Meilin asked in total shock.
"I kissed Li, the night we went out," Sakura informed reluctantly. There was a pause.
"Are you mad??" Meilin blurted out. "I can see Li now 'she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she's a SLUT!'" Meilin yelled angrily. "Why are you telling me this??? Do you wanna die today??!!" she screamed.
"Hey hey! Li doesn't know about Shigeru and I alright!" Sakura protested.
"Oh that just makes things so much better! He doesn't know, how swell!" Meilin rolled her eyes.
"You aren't making this any easier Meilin," Sakura sighed sadly.
"Oh sorry, am I supposed to be on your side?" Meilin asked in confusion.
"Look Meilin, I'm not out looking for someone to hurt," Sakura reminded.
"Sure, it just comes naturally right?" Meilin questioned obviously not buying anything Sakura has said.
"Okay that's it!" Sakura said angrily. "I'm not taking this crap from you!" she continued. "I was trying to ask for advice from you, and you obviously don't want to give me any. I told you once, and I'm going to tell you again. I'm not out here looking for someone to hurt. Yes, perhaps you're right, it just might come out naturally. But right now, I want to change that, and if you're not going to help me that's just fine with me," she finished. Meilin was silent for awhile, trying to absorb everything Sakura had just told her. In a way she felt sorry for her. Not matter how much she hated Sakura in the past, she knew just as well as anyone that Sakura would kill herself before hurting another person. Especially Li.
"Look, I'm sorry for blowing up on you Sakura," Meilin apologized. "I'm just a little worried for Li. The poor guy, he loves you to death. I don't know what this will do to him. Especially since you kissed him..." she continued.
"I know, I know. I don't want to ever see him like that," Sakura said worriedly. "I just wish that things were different,"
"Wishing isn't good enough Sakura. You have to go out there, and fix the problem yourself. Do that for Li..." Meilin sighed sadly.
"Yeah, he deserves that," Sakura replied taking in a deep breath. "Well I better get going then huh?"
"Yeah, and hurry up! Before he hears it from someone else," Meilin joked.
"Okay then, bye," Sakura smiled weakly and hung up the phone.
_____________________________________________________

Sakura slowed down the pace as she walked down the street near his apartment. She was thinking, or more like "reciting" what to say to Li when she got the chance to talk to him. She had no idea where to start, let alone what to say. She wanted this to stay as calm and rational as possible. This was so hard. Sakura let in a deep breath as she knocked on the door. There were noises from within, but more like shuffling than anything else. Then finally the faint sounds of feet could be heard coming closer to the door. Until finally it opened.
"Oh I there Sakura!" Chiho said in shocked. Then suddenly there was a crash in the background as if someone had bumped into a pile of boxes in a hurry.
"Aheheh..." Chiho scratched his head in embarrassment. "What can I do for you Sakura?" he asked nervously.
"Umm...well is Li home? I really need to talk to him about..." Sakura began then lowered her voice to a whisper. "...Shigeru..."
"Oh what a coincidence!" Chiho began then cut himself off.
"What's a coincidence?" Sakura asked in confusion.
"Uh I mean, what a coincidence that you came here to talk about something so important and yet he isn't home, shame..." Chiho lied.
"Oh, that's too bad..." Sakura sighed sadly. "Well, when he gets back be sure to tell him that I came by," she smiled weakly and began to turn around.
"Yeah, I'll do that," Chiho nodded slowly. "Bye,"
"Bye," Sakura bit her lip and walked into the elevator as Chiho shut the door.
_____________________________________________________

Sakura had been walking around Tomoeda for two hours now, just thinking. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining brightly and the birds were singing. All the Sakura trees where in bloom and the weak petals began to fall on the the ground. Bascially it was raining petals. Despite the fabulous weather she was still very sad. Her life couldn't get any worse than this. She broke her promise to her first love by seeing another boy. The old love returns to her and they kiss. Now she's cheating on both boys. Why can't her heart choose one? When she told Shigeru what happened he tried to pretend he didn't hear any of it. Then when he finally faced the truth, he decided never to talk to her again. Now that she's trying to tell Li the truth, he doesn't seem to be around. Life could never be any worse. Everywhere she looked, she could see Li. Everything reminded her of him. That boy down the road looks like Li. As well as that boy rollerblading. And that young boy walking on the other side of the park looked like Li. But wait...that IS Li! Sakura sat up from the bench and ran towards the young boy.
"Li!" Sakura yelled excitedly. The boy took one look at her and began to walk away.
"Li wait!" Sakura continued to call out. "Li why aren't you listening to me?" she asked and stopped walking The tall figure stopped walking as well and stood there, silently.
"Li, what's wrong?" Sakura asked worriedly.
"Do you even need to ask?" He spoke quietly. His voice was rough and seemed calm. But if you paid close attention there was a slight uneasiness in his voice.
"Li, what are you talking about?" Sakura asked in confusion. There was a moment of silence. "Li please look at me!" she begged. Li slowly turned around. Sakura almost gasped when she saw his face. Li's face was pale and stained with tears. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and his hair was hanging off the side of his face. But most of all his eyes changed. His eyes were no longer warm and shinging with humor. His eyes went back to the way they were when they first met. Cold and serious. This time his eyes were full of hate and betrayal. It scared her. His eyes were a very dark shade of brown now. But then love in him can never die. There was still some hope seeping through. Longing for something perhaps. Never the less, he was very lost, and alone.
"Oh my God Li! Who did this to you?" Sakura asked in shock and walked closer to him.
"You," Li replied softly. Sakura felt an odd feeling at the pit of her stomach. Her breathing became slower.
"Don't give me that look Sakura!" Li finally spoke breaking the silence.
"Li I-" Sakura tried to speak.
"Don't say anything!" Li interrupted. "I have nothing to say to you!"
"Li what are you talking about?" Sakura asked trying to hold back her tears. Just hearing Li yell at her like this scared her.
"Don't play dumb with me! I saw you with Shigeru yesterday!" Li yelled angrily. Sakura was silent. The her blood suddenly went cold as her heart skipped a beat. She felt weak at the knees as well.
"I came to discuss 'us' little did I know that there was no us," Li said sarcastically. "I bought some flowers for you, and when I came to your door..." he panted trying to forget it. "...there you were...in his arms..." he sobbed keeping it in. "I stood there for a few moments...watching in horror as he kissed you..." he finished.
"Those flowers..." Sakura said quietly as she remembered seeing them when Shigeru left. She then looked up at Li. The expression on his face flushed and his eyes continued to water up.
"Oh Li..." Sakura said reaching out to him. But Li quickly turned his face away.
"Don't touch me...Sakura," Li said firmly. Sakura bit her lip holding back the tears. It hurt her so much to see him this way, and what made it even worse was that it was her fault. She reached out for him one more time.
"But Li-" Sakura begged.
"I said don't touch me!!" Li yelled and pushed her hand away. This also hurt Li to see her like this and treat her like this, but he was in too much pain to regret anything right now.
"Li please, don't be like this!" Sakura begged bursting out into tears. "I'm sorry!" she wailed.
"I'm sorry too," Li said firmly. Sakura looked up at him, there was something in his voice that made the meaning of the sentence different. The tone was almost, sarcastic.
"Sorry?" Sakura questioned still sobbing a little.
"I should've never returned to you," Li continued. Whatever kindness or pity he had left had disappeared. Sakura's eyes began to water again when Li spoke.
"You made me feel like a fool Sakura!" Li said louder. Sakura trembled and shut her eyes when he yelled at her.
"You could never understand the pain I felt being away from you all those years. I missed you more than anything else in the world," Li admitted taking in a deep breath. "And now...I think I'd rather miss you and go through all that pain for a million years than feel the way I'm feeling right now..." he said closing his eyes. "You don't know what you've done to me Sakura...I loved you..." he finished with a last deep breath. His breathing was very uneasy though.
"I never meant to hurt you Li, please, you must understand that!" Sakura pleaded and threw herself at him. She leaned on him and threw her arms on his chest, but Li didn't budge. He kept his arms firmly at his side and turned his head away.
"Why did you kiss me then?" Li asked seriously still not looking at her.
"What?" Sakura blinked.
"Why did you kiss me?" Li asked slowly. There was a short pause.
"I...I...don't know..." Sakura said and put her hands on her head as if a throbbing pain had overcome her.
"Why'd you lead me on!" Li asked and raised his voice.
"I don't know!" Sakura said still holding her head. She had tears streaming down her face.
"You weren't worth it," Li shook his head. Then, Sakura snapped.
"That's not fair at all Li!!" Sakura yelled.
"Oh, and you think any of this is fair?? HUH!" Li screamed even louder.
"I've waited for you for almost seven years!!" Sakura spoke angrily. "You don't know what it's like having lots of guys after you, everyday. But even then I thought of you and held on. That's how I got this far. But then, one day. It stopped. But I did wait! How could you expect me to wait seven years???" Sakura yelled. There was a moment of silence.
"Yeah well, I waited," Li said firmly and walked away.
"Fine! Go ahead walk away!" Sakura yelled but Li didn't turn around. She watched sadly as he faded into the distance. Sakura fell onto her knees and wept. Now she's lost both of the boys in her life. Shigeru was upset at first because she didn't tell him about Li, but was willing to forgive her anyway because he loved her too much. Sakura rufused because she said that she had to tell Li first. Shigeru was a little upset by this because he was convinced that she still loved Li. Sakura tried to explain, but he walked away. Why was everyone in her life leaving her? She felt so alone and confused.
"See if I care!" Sakura sobbed as she clutched her hands into fists, but one tear kept on falling. "I don't need you..." she said weeping softly.

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Geez! All my chapters just keep on getting shorter and shorter don't they? But hey, I decided
to post this chapter up early (because I originally was supposed to post it up AFTER the long
weekend, just to be sure that everyone was back from Holiday because of they many great reviews
I recieved from the previous chapter. Thanks a lot! But my personal thanks goes out to Deenaz
(Sakura1985) and Erin (Truffle_Vampiress) Thank you so much for supporting me on and off ICQ.
As for everyone else who reviewed thank you very much as well. Like I said in my last fic,
without you I would have no reason to continue writing. Thank you over and over again.