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Should I Love You?

Chapter: Five
The Final Decision

Sakura gently ran her fingers up and down the photo. It was a picture Li and her had taken years ago, when they were still together. In the picture Li was a giving her a piggy-back ride and Madison was able to take the photo when they weren't looking. They had happy smiles on both their faces almost brought one to her face, but it was too hard. She sniffled a bit as she carefully placed the photo into a small brown box and closed it. Oh how she wished that Kero were with her right now. This would be a perfect time as ever to ask him for advice. Kero was living with Tori for awhile now. They've gone pretty close throughout the years. I suppose it's because they share a common bond. They both despise Li. Either way, I guess there are some thing you must learn on your own. Perhaps this was one of them. The sound of leaves ruffling could be hear beside her and feet shuffled on the ground. Sakura look at the person standing beside her. She nodded and moved aside to make room and shoved the box into her bag.
"Hi Madison," Sakura sighed happily as her friend sat beside her.
"How are you?" Madison asked worriedly. "Li told me,"
"Oh he did?" Sakura asked as her smile slowly faded. "How is he?" she asked calmly.
"He's okay..." Madison replied with reluctance. Sakura gave her this odd look as if she didn't buy it.
"Okay okay, so he's a mess," Madison rolled her eyes. "How did you think he was doing??" she said with a sarcastic tone in her voice. Sakura lowered her head.
"I don't know..." Sakura mumbled.
"He's so sad...if only you could see him you'd know what I mean," Madison blurted out with tears almost coming out of her eyes. "He won't eat, drink or sleep. He doesn't look sad or angry though. But he looks sick. He looks like a lonley ghost looking for his lost soul..." she finished. Sakura sat and thought about if for awhile.
"I didn't mean it, I swear..." Sakura said softly as she looked up at Madison. "I would never do anything to...to.." she continued with some tears falling down. But she didn't seem to notice or care that she was crying. "Madison you have to believe me!" she begged.
"I know, I know," Madison said biting her lip. She reached out to give Sakura a hug. She rocked her back and forth letting Sakura cry on her shoulder.
"I just couldn't tell him," Sakura spoke after she calmed back down. "I knew what it would do to him if I told him...but I also knew how wrong it would be to keep it from him..." she added.
"But the way he found out..." Madison began but left the rest of the sentence unsaid.
"But take this for example. How do you let a blind man know that he's going to walk over a cliff without hurting his feelings?" Sakura asked in frustration.
"Would you rather be told that you were going to fall over a cliff, or be left alone?" Madison questioned. Sakura considered it for awhile.
"His love for you is true Sakura," Madison said trying to smile. "He's proven it more than once,"
"I know that his love is true," Sakura nodded. Then she paused. "I just don't know if mine is..." she said quietly.
"But it was seven years ago right? Then what's the matter?" Madison asked in confusion.
"I don't know," Sakura shook her head. "Maybe I'm looking for something. A reason, a purpose. Maybe I need to fall in love all over again," she sighed totally stumped.
"I don't think you have time for all that Sakura," Madison informed.
"I know, but if this is love...love will wait, not the person," Sakura nodded. Madison could only agree. This was something that had to come from Sakura, not her. She smiled and stood up walking away. Madison paused for awhile and stood silent.
"Please Sakura, I know that things always happen for a reason. But...but, just don't always believe that," Madison warned and continued walking. Sakura sat there silently for a few minutes letting everything sink in. Why did this have to be so difficult. It was well known that the best relationship were the ones worth waiting for and fighting for. Why couldn't she wait? It didn't matter anymore though. Li was gone. Out of her life. She had lost all she ever had because she just couldn't keep her promise. Stupid Sakura she thought. Perhaps there was something in herself that she was looking for. When she was a little girl she always thought that you'd know when you were in love, and that it would be so easy. There would be this nervous and exciting feeling all over your body, like the tingles. Perhaps even a blinking sign would appear over her head saying "YES." Boy was she ever wrong. Never once in her life was there ever a big sign saying 'yes.' The closest thing was the tingles she'd get from Li. Those wonderful tingles that would run from head to toe in her body, like a wave. How he drove her out of her mind. She knew she loved him, but she just didn't feel it anymore. She didn't know what to believe. Her head, or her heart. Her mind told her that she loved him, but her heart wasn't feeling it. Sakura leaned back on the bench and cried the thoughts away.
_______________________________________________________________

It had been almost a week since Li last talked to Sakura. Things had changed a lot since then. He didn't talk very much and never bothered to start a conversation with anyone. He didn't ignore people though. Whenever someone asked him a question, he answer but didn't bother continuing the conversation by throwing another question at them. The sadness in his eyes disappeared and was replaced by the seriousness and coldness that was once familiar to his friends in Tomoeda. He seldom smiled, and when he did it was only for show. He didn't care much about anything anymore. Sakura tried many times to call and come over, but he ignored her every single time. She tried finding out what his day to day timetable was but every time he bumped into her, he would just stare and use his magic to disappear. Sakura finally gave up a few days ago and stopped bothering him. He wasn't any happier at that, but it seemed to suit him just fine. The last thing she said to him was from a message she left on the answering machine. "Listen Li, I know that you're still mad at me and I don't blame you either. I just wanted to let you know that I'm very sorry and I didn't mean to hurt you. Just please...talk to me...I miss you...Li PLEASE. I know you're there! Please, pick up the phone!! Li you don't know what these past few days have been like for me, I love you...I love you...don't be like this...if you don't reply by tomorrow I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry...Li..." Her voice rang in Li's head everyday, like a an echo haunting him. The sweet ring in her voice soothed him. Usually Li would be tearing up a little from the tone of her voice in the message. Her plea and cry in the message made him feel guilty, but he just couldn't summon up enough courage to forgive her.
"Hey buddy," Chiho said quietly as he knocked on Li's door. "You got a visitor," he informed. Li nodded and turned his attention back out the window while Chiho invited the guest in.
"Hey Li," A familiar voice spoke uneasily. Li froze for a moment and slowly turned around.
"Hi Shigeru," Li sighed.
"I heard you haven't been doing do well, so I decided to pay you a visit," Shigeru smiled and walked towards Li.
"Thanks man," Li nodded in greatfully.
"So what have you been up to this past week?" Shigeru asked politely trying to make conversation.
"Nothing really, just...thinking..." Li replied and bit his lip as if trying to hold something back.
"Oh..." Shigeru nodded not knowing what to talk about.
"Don't play all nice around me Shigeru," Li snapped with a firm voice. He turned completely around to look at him. "Why did you really come here?"
"I honestly wanted to see if you were doing okay. Sakura told me..." Shigeru began leaving the obvious unsaid.
"So she lied to you too?" Li asked with a slight chuckle.
"Look, that may be true but I think we both know that Sakura would never mean such a thing on anyone. Sure I was mad, but then I thought about it. I'm not mad at her anymore, and neither should you," Shigeru began.
"Don't talk to me about this alright?" Li interrupted. "You sound like you're trying to sell something," He rolled his eyes and turned around.
"She loves you," Shigeru continued. Li was silent.
"You know that right?" Shigeru asked with some uneasiness in his voice.
"I don't know what to think," Li finally spoke. "You wouldn't understand," he sighed in frustration.
"You may be right," Shigeru agreed. "But I do know what it's like to lose someone you love," he continued. Li stared at him with curious eyes.
"I loved her very much. She was my world. But..." Shigeru began but paused. "But..I knew that she didn't love me back in that way. I could see it in her eyes. I didn't know why though. I guess, now I do," he finished and looked at Li. "She was looking for you," he admitted.
"Well, it's over now. There is nothing she or anyone else can do to change my mind about my decision either," Li said firmly.
"And what is your decision?" Shigeru questioned. Li was silent. "I'll tell you what you decided," he snapped. "You decided to ignore the most perfect girl in the world. To shut her out of your life. The one girl that you said you would ever love had been shut out your life, forever. You've decided to be the saddest man in the world, and be lonely forever," he finished. Li was left speechless.
"It won't change anything. She lied to me," Li mumbled.
"And you're willing to give her up because of one mistake she made?" Shigeru asked in confusion. "She lied to me too, but I know she didn't mean it, Li she's sorry," he complained. Li shook his head negatively and stared back out the window. Shigeru took this as his cue and stood up.
"You don't deserve her," Shigeru said angrily as he walked towards the door. "But..she never really did love me, it was you all along" he shook his head sadly and grabbed the knob. "I just hope you realize that before it's too late," he finished and shut the door.
______________________________________________________________

"This isn't good little man," Tori spoke quietly to the floating being beside him.
"Affirmative big brother," Kero nodded in agreement.
"Oh will you two give it up," Meiling rolled her eyes. "Yes I realize we're undercover and hiding behind a bush so Sakura can't see us, but honestly..." she sighed.
"That is a negative big Mama," Tori joked and Kero chuckled trying to hold his laughter back. Suddenly Meiling pulled a fan out of nowhere and slapped Tori across the face. Kero finally bursted into laughter and Meilin banged him with a sledge hammer to keep him quiet.
"So we know that Sakura is still in a fight with Li so far. Am I correct?" Meiling spoke as the two boys twitched in the background.
"Yes Big Mama," They groaned and sat up.
"I see we're not the only ones alone in this mission. It seems like 'Giggles' and 'Camera Girl' are on the same mission as well," Meilin continued.
"We also have reason to believe that 'Ex-man' is on the same assignment as well," Tori informed. Meilin looked at him with suspicious eyes.
"Where did you get this information Private?" Meilin asked with little confusion.
"From Giggles, Big Mama," Tori nodded.
"I see. Are you copying all this down Little Brother?" Meilin asked without taking her eyes off the "target".
"10-4 Big Mama," Kero nodded. "So what's the whole purpose of us doing this again?" he asked in confusion. There was a moment of silence.
"We'll gather as much information about the situation as possible. That makes us the link between them. We certainly can't keep the two together, but when the time comes we'll hit them with all we got," Meilin informed.
"So we just let the others do their stuff first?" Tori asked inconfusion.
"Yes, they clear the path, and we follow," Meilin grinned. The two Privates looked at eachother worriedly but nodded with confidence in their Commander.
"Abort, this is enough for tonight," Meilin ordered and vanished.
______________________________________________________________

The next few days were probably the slowest days of everyone's life. Everything was falling apart, and there was nothing anyone could to to stop the clouds from rolling over. Life seemed like and endless road. Madison and Chiho had a hard time watching their friends sink deeper and deeper into the dark holes of depression. It was obvious Li and Sakura needed eachother to live, but neither of them would admit it. This arguement has gone so far that even Sakura began to dislike Li for it. They've gone back into the past together. Li had become stubborn, cold, and arrogant once again. It bothered Sakura so much, and her frustraion with him became so great that it itched her. Nobody knew whether the truth was that Sakura was frustrated at the fact that Li was going back to his old self, or whether she felt so guilty for destroying his life. Everyone watched in horror as the two star-crossed lovers withered their lives away.
Chiho slowly opened the door to his apartment and quietly shut the door. Li had been sensitive to any type of noise lately so Chiho had been trying his best to keep quiet these past few days. Chiho carefully put his keys in the basket near the entrance. He could hear Li's voice coming from the hallway. He was talking to someone. Chiho wasn't one to eavesdrop but, this time he was curious. Li's voice sounded slightly frustrated, or irritated in some way. Maybe it was Sakura? 'Nah' he thought. He tried his best to mind his own business, but his body wouldn't obey and soon he found himself leaning against Li's door. The muffles became clear until the voice was clear. Li was talking on the phone with somebody but it was definitely not Sakura.
"Yeah I'm perfectly alright," Li spoke softly. "Things didn't go as planned, that's all," he continued with a sigh. There was a pause. It was obvious that the person Li was talking to knew Sakura and they were talking about her.
"Don't be mad at her," Li snapped slightly offended. Another pause. "Yes of course I'm angry at her but-" he was cut off and was silently listening.
"I know that, I just wish she knew it too," Li replied sadly. This next pause was short because it seemed like Li interrupted the person.
"What?!" Li said in shock. There was a long pause this time. "Oh...I see, well you may be right about that," he continued thoughtfully. "So that's settled then," he sighed in relief. For some reason he didn't seem all that relieved though. There was a hint of resentment in his voice.
"What about her?" Li asked firmly. There was a slight pause. Whatever they were talking about now was very serious. After a sigh Li finally spoke.
"Yeah. I will then," Li concluded with little reluctance in his voice. He was listening now. "Yes. Yes I'm sure," he said reassuringly. There was one last pause. "Alright then, good night," then Li hung up.
Chiho stood against the door for a split second abosrbing everything he just overheard. Shortly after he had come to the conclusion that Li was speaking to Meilin and that she had convinced him to do something. Considering the fact that Meiling approved of Sakura and Li's match up whatever she had convinced him to do had to be a good thing. For some reason though the tone of Li's voice throughout the last part of the conversation proved otherwise. But before Chiho could think about it any further he could hear some shuffling from within the room that made him move away from the door and into the kitchen. A few moments later Li's door opened and he stepped out. Li shut the door behind him and nodded at Chiho after noticing his presense.
"How long have you been here?" Li asked suspiciously.
"Uh...not that long I just got in," Chiho replied studdering at the beginning. Well it wasn't a complete lie.
"Oh I see," Li nodded in approval. "So what did you do today?" he asked trying to start a conversation. Chiho was a bit blow away by the question. Li was actually starting a conversation!
"Nothing much, I just spent the day with Madison that's all," he shrugged. Then Chiho pushed his luck and added. "If you know what I mean," he winked. Li rolled his eyes and chuckled a bit.
"Yeah uh-huh, right Chiho," Li grinned in disbelief. Chiho was so surprised at Li's reaction. He actually began a conversation, and rolling his eyes, grinning, and teasing him. It was great!! Whatever Meiling told him must have been a good thing!
"Really now Chiho, what were you doing?" Li crossed his arms and gave him the eyebrow.
"Promise not to get mad?" Chiho asked copying Li's expression.
"Yeah yeah, sure sure," Li replied waving the thought away.
"We were talking about how to get Sakura and you back together," Chiho replied fairly seriously. Li groaned.
"Oh give me a break," Li rolled his eyes as he walked towards the living room. Chiho knew Li wasn't angry with him.
"I'm serious Li," Chiho insisted and followed his friend.
"You guys try too hard," Li pouted. "Which is probably why you're meant for eachother," he teased.
"Could be," Chiho nodded in agreement. "But Meilin doesn't have much in common with her boyfriend," he thought scratching his chin.
"Meiling has a boyfriend??" Li asked sitting up straight.
"Yeah for awhile now actually..." Chiho nodded a little surprised that Li didn't know.
"Who? Do I know him?" Li asked anxiously.
"As a matter of fact you do, or at least you should," Chiho smiled.
"Well then, quit stammering, who is it?" Li asked impatiently. 'If it's that Shigeru character again, why I...' Li thought.
"It's Zachary, you know him right?" Chiho asked politely. Li sat blinking in disbelief for a moment and then fell over.
"ZACHARY????" Li screamed and pinched himself. "Tell me I'm dreaming!!"
"Nope, it's all real buddy," Chiho laughed.
"But why didn't she say anything when I was talking to her?" Li asked still shaking his head. "Plus, I never imagined Meilin falling for a walking dictionary!" he pointed out trying not to laugh.
"I have no idea why she didn't tell you," Chiho mumbled. "But Zachary isn't that much of a nerd anymore. Ever since you left Zachary has been the number one guy of course! That 'Captain of the drill team' title got to him. Then again I wouldn't know because I didn't know you back then,"
"But..but...they hated eachother!" Li said in disgust.
"What can I say? Opposites attract sometimes," Chiho shrugged.
"What happened?" Li asked curiously.
"It's a long story," Chiho sighed.
"I've got a lot of time," Li informed. 'Well not really...' he thought.
"Nah, I'd rather not get into it," Chiho brushed the thought away. (HINT: May lead to a future fic!)
"Alright fine, I'll ask her later," Li smiled. "And I better have a little chat with Zachary too, that son of a gun," he joked.
"Well I'm about to have dinner, did you eat?" Chiho offered.
"Yeah, yeah I did. I'm going to sleep, I got a lot to think about now," Li nodded and stood up.
"Uh, alright then," Chiho gave him an odd look.
"Night," Li sighed and walked towards his room.
"Night," Chiho replied quietly. 'What the heck is going on here?' he asked himself.

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I am so so so so so sorry for taking so long! If I were a reader of this fic I'd kill myself
too so don't worry. I was grounded for the past two months because my younger brother was failing
two subjects. How that had to do with me is still a mystery. But most of you should know my brother.
Oh and yes I did get the emails some of you sent me, thank you very much. Either way I hope you
enjoyed this new chapter because I may take long writing the next because I will have many relatives
over for the next week, and I might also go to America with them. So as you can see I'll be very
busy for the next few weeks. I'll try my best to beat this writers block and continue to write the
next few chapter before it gets busy around here. Thank you for your patience.
for the