Professor Trelawney's predictions for this chapter:
-Someone will say, " I look just like Draco Malfoy."
-Hermione will tickle Draco
-Peeves loves Pansy Parkinson
-Trelawney will make an appearance.
-Mrs. Norris will dye her hair a beautiful shade of green
Dear, dear. Poor Trelawney, she seems to have her events all mixed up! I do hope she sorts it out after reading the chapter, but then, knowing her. and the fact that she doesn't really exist in this fic. we shall see.
Beginning of chapter:
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Draco screamed in hysterics. Why must his entire house get such delight out of sneaking up on him WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING, and tickling him? "DO YOU NOT KNOW THE SCHOOL MOTTO?"
"Yes, we do." Millicent said, giggleing. "Draco Dormiens Numquam Titillanus!"
"Exactly. So why DO you tickle sleeping Draco when the very motto of our school strictly forbids it?"
"Actually, Draco means dragon. I don't see any scales." Snape said smugly, as he continued to mercilessly tickle Draco's armpit.
"Get away from me, you filthy cross dresser!" Draco screamed at him. No one seemed surprised at this outburst, nor did anyone else really care that Draco had just called the potions master a cross dresser. In fact, they just giggled and continued to tickle the defenseless Draco.
That is, everyone but Pansy. She may be an ugly whore, but she knew what was happening to her house. She alone knew the truth. Two very odd fan fiction writers had forgotten to wipe her memory, or so she thought. SHE knew that they had begun a reign of terror, but why? Why must they torture her precious Draco so? Of course, she wouldn't be thinking this if she knew what audig and tomoyo had planned, or if she was aware of Draco's relationship with the Weasley boy.
The authors snickered quietly at her ignorance.
Meanwhile, over in Gryffindor land, Hermione awoke with a start. Her plan had failed. She herself had broken the reverse psychology rule, and Snape hadn't helped any when he burst into the room dressed as a woman. Of course, she knew that it wasn't her fault; she knew that the authors were out to get her. She was even bright enough to grasp that she was one of their least favorite characters. (Dear, dear. Perhaps Hermione needs to get her brain out of hyper drive. It is far too early in this fic for her to know that the authors hate her.)
She reluctantly got out of bed and went down to breakfast accompanied by Ron and Harry, as usual. Ron was still frightened of her, with good reason, and so he forced Harry to sit between them. Harry, not being the smartest doornail on the block, had already forgotten how stupid the authors were to pair Ron with MALFOY, because Ron just wasn't special. So, Harry didn't complain, and Hermione felt quite alone. Good for her, this was the objective, you know.
Normally she would have suggested a trip down to see Hagrid, but she couldn't quite seem to remember who he was. This worried her. What had the authors done to Dumbledore and Hagrid? Why weren't they in this fic? Were the authors really dense enough to think that they could get away with it? (Yes. Yes we are.)
"Where'd Fred go?" she asked George, who was sitting near her, looking almost as lonely as she felt. (BWAHAHAHA! HERMIONE'S ALONE IN THE WORLD! Too bad we can't let this last.)
"Fred?" George asked her bewildered. "OH! You mean the chap who looks like me?" (NO! she means the guy who ate your underwear.)
"Yeah, him." Hermione sighed. This was going to be a LONG chapter.
"He's- I dunno. Where is he?"
"I asked you first." What were the authors DOING to her? She sounded like a little kid!
George, by far the better of the two twins, decided to do the smart thing and ignore Hermione. She was really very annoying. (Hey, someone had to catch on eventually.)
Hermione barely managed to keep her head during her first class. The authors apparently had her Arithmancy teacher on drugs or something, because he continually broke out into song for most of the class. What really irked her, however, was that no one even seemed to NOTICE! What typed of brainwashed idiots what to Hogwarts anyway?
She grinned in malice. She had to do something that the authors would HATE! If she did it enough, perhaps they would give up of their pointless fic. She knew exactly what she had to do, so instead of going to lunch, she skipped happily through the halls humming, "He is a fool."
She was temporarily held up, however when, Mrs. Norris streaked past her shrieking in a very un-catlike manner. Hermione soon under stood why. The authors were indeed, reining terror. Just as she had known they would.
Only a few seconds after the terrified cat steered around the corner, she heard the voice of Peeves coming from the direction Mrs. Norris had. "MRS. NORRIS! BUT. BUT. I ONLY WANTED TO LOVE YOU!" The sounds of hysteric wailing soon followed.
Hermione shook her head. Bedlam. That's what these authors were obsessed with causing. Bedlam. She then renewed her journey to Gryffindor tower with new exuberance. She WOULD stop the authors, if it were the last thing she did. (I hope she dies, and then she would no longer be able to thwart us in our mission of CHAOS and SLASH.)
Perhaps it was the absence of Hermione at lunch, or perhaps it was just another ploy by the authors to make this fic interesting, but Pansy was shocked and appalled but what she witnessed that day at lunch.
During the time when Hermione was busy being scarred for life in the corridor, Malfoy had gotten up in front of the Great Hall, and motioned for Ron to join him. Pansy sunk down in her seat. Why must she have a feeling that something very disturbing was about to happen?
As soon as every one was seated and silent, a microphone appeared in one hand of each of the boys. The lights dimmed, and the crowed waited in hushed anticipation. Music stared playing, apparently from nowhere in particular, and the boys began to sing. The entire great hall burst into a mob and began to dance the weezer song.
"OOOOOOO, OOOOOO. I look just like Ritchie Rich.." Draco sang out to the crowd of adoring fans, proclaiming his love for Ron as he sang with a sign that he tied around his neck.
Ron caught the next line, "Yeah, and I'm Mary Tyler Moore."
Pansy almost pulled a Vinnie. How embarrassing could this fic get? HER Draco was going out with RON? WEASLEY? She didn't believe it. She couldn't believe it. It was too much to bear. The only thing she knew for sure was that she was going to stop the authors' reign of terror. no matter what it took.
The last chords of the song finally, after what seemed an eternity, rang out over the crowd. When the lights came up, everyone went back to their spot and started eating as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Pansy didn't believe it when she heard people congratulating Draco on his performance. She quickly slipped him a note that read:
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?????????
He didn't even bother to read it, and simply popped it in his mouth, swallowed, and winked at her. The HORROR! She burned with anger as she thought of how the authors were ruining her life and everyone else's, if they would wake up from dreamland.
Her thought of malevolence about the kin and families of the authors was interrupted, however, when Hermione broke into the Great Hall screaming. Pansy had hardly noticed her absence, but it was impossible to ignore her presence now. For one, she was screaming at the top of her lungs. For another, her hair had been dyed a rather revolting shade of green, and it was rather blotchy, and Pansy could tell that far too much dye had been used on it.
Again, Pansy was the only one who seemed to notice anything wrong. Everyone else, after one glance at the noise-making girl, shrugged and looked away. Pansy, however couldn't believe her ears at WHAT Hermione was screaming ABOUT.
"Oh, those authors! They are going to PAY!!! NO ONE tricks Hermione Granger and lives to tell about it."
Could it be? Another person who knew what was happening to the school? Of course, it WAS Granger, but in a crisis, you can hardly pick your allies, now can you?
-Someone will say, " I look just like Draco Malfoy."
-Hermione will tickle Draco
-Peeves loves Pansy Parkinson
-Trelawney will make an appearance.
-Mrs. Norris will dye her hair a beautiful shade of green
Dear, dear. Poor Trelawney, she seems to have her events all mixed up! I do hope she sorts it out after reading the chapter, but then, knowing her. and the fact that she doesn't really exist in this fic. we shall see.
Beginning of chapter:
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Draco screamed in hysterics. Why must his entire house get such delight out of sneaking up on him WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING, and tickling him? "DO YOU NOT KNOW THE SCHOOL MOTTO?"
"Yes, we do." Millicent said, giggleing. "Draco Dormiens Numquam Titillanus!"
"Exactly. So why DO you tickle sleeping Draco when the very motto of our school strictly forbids it?"
"Actually, Draco means dragon. I don't see any scales." Snape said smugly, as he continued to mercilessly tickle Draco's armpit.
"Get away from me, you filthy cross dresser!" Draco screamed at him. No one seemed surprised at this outburst, nor did anyone else really care that Draco had just called the potions master a cross dresser. In fact, they just giggled and continued to tickle the defenseless Draco.
That is, everyone but Pansy. She may be an ugly whore, but she knew what was happening to her house. She alone knew the truth. Two very odd fan fiction writers had forgotten to wipe her memory, or so she thought. SHE knew that they had begun a reign of terror, but why? Why must they torture her precious Draco so? Of course, she wouldn't be thinking this if she knew what audig and tomoyo had planned, or if she was aware of Draco's relationship with the Weasley boy.
The authors snickered quietly at her ignorance.
Meanwhile, over in Gryffindor land, Hermione awoke with a start. Her plan had failed. She herself had broken the reverse psychology rule, and Snape hadn't helped any when he burst into the room dressed as a woman. Of course, she knew that it wasn't her fault; she knew that the authors were out to get her. She was even bright enough to grasp that she was one of their least favorite characters. (Dear, dear. Perhaps Hermione needs to get her brain out of hyper drive. It is far too early in this fic for her to know that the authors hate her.)
She reluctantly got out of bed and went down to breakfast accompanied by Ron and Harry, as usual. Ron was still frightened of her, with good reason, and so he forced Harry to sit between them. Harry, not being the smartest doornail on the block, had already forgotten how stupid the authors were to pair Ron with MALFOY, because Ron just wasn't special. So, Harry didn't complain, and Hermione felt quite alone. Good for her, this was the objective, you know.
Normally she would have suggested a trip down to see Hagrid, but she couldn't quite seem to remember who he was. This worried her. What had the authors done to Dumbledore and Hagrid? Why weren't they in this fic? Were the authors really dense enough to think that they could get away with it? (Yes. Yes we are.)
"Where'd Fred go?" she asked George, who was sitting near her, looking almost as lonely as she felt. (BWAHAHAHA! HERMIONE'S ALONE IN THE WORLD! Too bad we can't let this last.)
"Fred?" George asked her bewildered. "OH! You mean the chap who looks like me?" (NO! she means the guy who ate your underwear.)
"Yeah, him." Hermione sighed. This was going to be a LONG chapter.
"He's- I dunno. Where is he?"
"I asked you first." What were the authors DOING to her? She sounded like a little kid!
George, by far the better of the two twins, decided to do the smart thing and ignore Hermione. She was really very annoying. (Hey, someone had to catch on eventually.)
Hermione barely managed to keep her head during her first class. The authors apparently had her Arithmancy teacher on drugs or something, because he continually broke out into song for most of the class. What really irked her, however, was that no one even seemed to NOTICE! What typed of brainwashed idiots what to Hogwarts anyway?
She grinned in malice. She had to do something that the authors would HATE! If she did it enough, perhaps they would give up of their pointless fic. She knew exactly what she had to do, so instead of going to lunch, she skipped happily through the halls humming, "He is a fool."
She was temporarily held up, however when, Mrs. Norris streaked past her shrieking in a very un-catlike manner. Hermione soon under stood why. The authors were indeed, reining terror. Just as she had known they would.
Only a few seconds after the terrified cat steered around the corner, she heard the voice of Peeves coming from the direction Mrs. Norris had. "MRS. NORRIS! BUT. BUT. I ONLY WANTED TO LOVE YOU!" The sounds of hysteric wailing soon followed.
Hermione shook her head. Bedlam. That's what these authors were obsessed with causing. Bedlam. She then renewed her journey to Gryffindor tower with new exuberance. She WOULD stop the authors, if it were the last thing she did. (I hope she dies, and then she would no longer be able to thwart us in our mission of CHAOS and SLASH.)
Perhaps it was the absence of Hermione at lunch, or perhaps it was just another ploy by the authors to make this fic interesting, but Pansy was shocked and appalled but what she witnessed that day at lunch.
During the time when Hermione was busy being scarred for life in the corridor, Malfoy had gotten up in front of the Great Hall, and motioned for Ron to join him. Pansy sunk down in her seat. Why must she have a feeling that something very disturbing was about to happen?
As soon as every one was seated and silent, a microphone appeared in one hand of each of the boys. The lights dimmed, and the crowed waited in hushed anticipation. Music stared playing, apparently from nowhere in particular, and the boys began to sing. The entire great hall burst into a mob and began to dance the weezer song.
"OOOOOOO, OOOOOO. I look just like Ritchie Rich.." Draco sang out to the crowd of adoring fans, proclaiming his love for Ron as he sang with a sign that he tied around his neck.
Ron caught the next line, "Yeah, and I'm Mary Tyler Moore."
Pansy almost pulled a Vinnie. How embarrassing could this fic get? HER Draco was going out with RON? WEASLEY? She didn't believe it. She couldn't believe it. It was too much to bear. The only thing she knew for sure was that she was going to stop the authors' reign of terror. no matter what it took.
The last chords of the song finally, after what seemed an eternity, rang out over the crowd. When the lights came up, everyone went back to their spot and started eating as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Pansy didn't believe it when she heard people congratulating Draco on his performance. She quickly slipped him a note that read:
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?????????
He didn't even bother to read it, and simply popped it in his mouth, swallowed, and winked at her. The HORROR! She burned with anger as she thought of how the authors were ruining her life and everyone else's, if they would wake up from dreamland.
Her thought of malevolence about the kin and families of the authors was interrupted, however, when Hermione broke into the Great Hall screaming. Pansy had hardly noticed her absence, but it was impossible to ignore her presence now. For one, she was screaming at the top of her lungs. For another, her hair had been dyed a rather revolting shade of green, and it was rather blotchy, and Pansy could tell that far too much dye had been used on it.
Again, Pansy was the only one who seemed to notice anything wrong. Everyone else, after one glance at the noise-making girl, shrugged and looked away. Pansy, however couldn't believe her ears at WHAT Hermione was screaming ABOUT.
"Oh, those authors! They are going to PAY!!! NO ONE tricks Hermione Granger and lives to tell about it."
Could it be? Another person who knew what was happening to the school? Of course, it WAS Granger, but in a crisis, you can hardly pick your allies, now can you?
