1 Title: With Deceit Comes Enlightenment
2 Author: MissKitieFantastico (kitiekat24@go.com)
3 Summary: Takes place at end of "Dad". 1st two parts are POV before Angel and the gang went to the hospital. The dialogue is set after they return to the hotel. I hope it's pretty self-explanatory.
4 Disclaimers: We all who owns Angel & CO. so don't rub it in. I just want to play, so don't sue (believe me it's not worth it).
5 Distribution: Want.Take.Have. Just let me know where so I can brag that someone likes me & my work :)
6 Feedback: Yes please. I'm very critical of my work, and this is my first posted fic, so if you read it, let me know what you think (good, bad, suggestions, or if you think I need a Beta Reader even).
7 Notes: I wrote this at 3am. Couldn't get the idea out of my head. When I watched the ep. I thought there was some stuff missing, and it seemed like the crew really didn't know what was going on. Or if it was all there, then I'm just too thick to see it. Anyway, this is was I thought it was lacking. :)
8
9 The Deceiver
Angel POV
I know how it must have hurt them.
Big show for the clowns at Wolfram & Hart. Big free-cable-television-soap- opera-action for Wolfram & Hart.
And it hurt me.
Even more than I can express. They didn't know. They didn't understand, and when they thought I was leaving them to die, their words cut me to the core.
I played it off, just shrugged away from Cordelia, standing between me and my escape, but inside I was dying. It hurt me to hear the words coming from her mouth, saying I hadn't listened to her. I had listened to her, and I told her so… but I knew she wouldn't understand then. She thought I was leaving her, and nothing short of me stopping right then and there and dropping everything to soothe her was going to make her think otherwise.
So, I just had to leave. Leave them thinking they were going to die. Only Lorne knew what I was doing. He was the one who suggested it, and he was the one who hid Connor away from the others, and the prying eyes of Wolfram & Hart. But in order for Wolfram & Hart to believe it, they had to believe it too. That's how I saw it.
Deceive them now, and live. Work through it all later.
After my detour to the quarry, and a bit of an explosive light show, I returned to the Hyperion to take what I had coming to me.
Then… Nothing.
I explained myself, with the help of Lorne, and all was forgiven—except for Cordelia. She just stood away from the rest of us, arms crossed. I had expected nothing less than tears, screaming, and lots of me getting hit.
But… Nothing.
In the end, she shrugged, flashed her Queen C smile and told us that Connor needed to be taken to the hospital for his check-up. As we left the Hyperion, I got what I knew was coming… in the form of a glare. It screamed 'we take care of the baby now, I chew you out later.'
I know it was inappropriate, but I smiled when she turned away. I knew she wouldn't let me off the hook. I'd be disappointed if she did.
***
10 The Deceived
Cordy POV
I couldn't let my emotions run rampant.
My first instincts were to cry and yell and even scream at him for what he put me through. But, I kept control.
I had something more important to take care of—Connor. I told myself to take care of him first, then take care of Angel.
I knew everyone was expecting me to fly off the handle… Hell, I think they wanted me to. They wanted me to say what they couldn't. Instead, Wesley just cleaned his glasses, Fred just shrugged it all away like she did with everything, and Gunn just patted Angel on the back.
And I… Just waited.
No words, no gestures, nothing. Not yet.
When all was said and done, well, nothing was said really, just 'done', I told everyone we needed to get to the hospital. Angel said something about following in a minute, and before I left I looked at him. He knew what my eyes meant. They meant big trouble.
When we got back from the hospital, Angel took Connor up to his apartment and I followed shortly after. Everyone else stayed down in the lobby; they knew what I was doing and they knew to stay out of the way. So, I continued up to his room to "talk".
***
11 With Deceit Comes Revelations
A knock at the door is what Angel expected. And he got what he asked for.
Cordelia knocked softly, then entered without waiting for Angel to respond. She quickly slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. Angel sat in his chair, what Cordelia had titled his "Brooding Chair", watching Connor sleep.
"We need to talk." Cordelia knew that sounded mundane, but she didn't know what else to say. She had everything worked out in her head, but the moment she walked through the door, it all seemed to ooze out of her brain.
Angel looked up from the crib to Cordelia and sighed. Granted it wasn't needed, but Angel did it to prepare himself for the verbal bashing he was sure to encounter. "I know… I'm sorry about tonight Cordy. I just thought it needed to be done."
Cordelia walked to the edge of Connor's crib and looked in at the sleeping baby. "You know, I had this all worked out in my mind. But, for some reason, it just doesn't seem to make sense. I should be mad at you, I mean, I am mad at you…. But, it feels like I shouldn't be because a part of me knows you did the right thing." She glanced at Angel, waiting for him to say something before she continued. He didn't.
"I was scared tonight, Angel. Really scared. And then you go all gung-ho about jetting out of here, leaving us to fight and I could've staked you for it." She smirked. She moved from the sleeping baby to Angel's bed and sat right in front of him. "I really thought you were leaving us. I know I should know better, but… tonight was just different. The way you've been acting about Connor really had me scared, like you really wouldn't let any of us get close to him, and you'd leave us so we couldn't." Cordelia stared into her hands, she didn't know where this conversation was going, she just knew she had to let it all out.
"I know how I acted, and I don't know what to say about it except I'm sorry. Being a 248-year-old dad is kinda weird, I guess I just freaked. But I want you to know that I heard everything you said to me in the courtyard today… You snapped me back into reality, Cordy. What you said grounded me." Angel leaned forward in his chair to be closer to Cordelia, and took her hands. "Look at me, please."
Cordelia struggled to look up at him. She had come in here with every intention of chewing him out, but now, all she wanted to do was hug him and that would make everything better. She didn't know where this guilt was coming from, or the sadness. Tears started to well up in her eyes when she finally matched his gaze. She managed a weak smile.
"Thank you. For everything. I don't think I say it enough to you or the others. You deserve to yell at me and hit me, and you're not." Angel wiped a tear from Cordelia's cheek and cupped her face with his hand. "I don't deserve you… I really don't. But I do appreciate you for everything you are to me, right here, right now. I could never leave you because I know you'd never leave me."
Cordelia finally broke with his words, and her tears flowed freely down her cheeks and Angel's hand. She took his hand from her face and stood. She pulled Angel up and hugged him tightly. She had completely forgotten about her anger, which was now replaced by love and relief. He had finally told her what she needed to hear. That he would never leave her. It was the plain truth that Cordelia wanted, needed, from Angel for so long and now he had finally given it to her. Finally, her soul felt lighter, a burden had been lifted from her and she felt like for the first time in months, she could breathe.
Cordelia pulled away from Angel and wiped at her tear stained face and smiled. I genuine smile, not her Queen C smile, but a loving, honest Cordelia smile. Angel's eyes brightened with the sight of her smiling face and felt the edges of his mouth turn upward. All she needed to do was smile, and Angel couldn't help himself. He had to smile back.
"I should get going home, Angel. And you should sleep, the sun will be up soon." Cordelia turned to Connor's crib and kissed him lightly on the forehead. Angel watched in silent awe as Cordelia lovingly said goodnight to his baby.
She turned back to Angel, and he knew he had to say something. "You know I love you, right Cordy? I wouldn't be able to do this without you…" Angel looked sheepishly at the floor. He really did love Cordelia in some way, but he didn't think he could ever say it out loud.
" I know what you mean Angel, and I love you too…" She sensed his embarrassment, but she knew exactly how he meant for it to sound, and she felt the exact same way. Cordelia gave him another quick hug before heading for the door.
When she reached it, she hesitated before opening it. She turned back to Angel, who was watching her go, and said quietly, "Thank you… for what you said…about not leaving." She started to say something else, but decided against it.
She opened to door enough to slip out into the hallway and silently closed it behind her.
End.
2 Author: MissKitieFantastico (kitiekat24@go.com)
3 Summary: Takes place at end of "Dad". 1st two parts are POV before Angel and the gang went to the hospital. The dialogue is set after they return to the hotel. I hope it's pretty self-explanatory.
4 Disclaimers: We all who owns Angel & CO. so don't rub it in. I just want to play, so don't sue (believe me it's not worth it).
5 Distribution: Want.Take.Have. Just let me know where so I can brag that someone likes me & my work :)
6 Feedback: Yes please. I'm very critical of my work, and this is my first posted fic, so if you read it, let me know what you think (good, bad, suggestions, or if you think I need a Beta Reader even).
7 Notes: I wrote this at 3am. Couldn't get the idea out of my head. When I watched the ep. I thought there was some stuff missing, and it seemed like the crew really didn't know what was going on. Or if it was all there, then I'm just too thick to see it. Anyway, this is was I thought it was lacking. :)
8
9 The Deceiver
Angel POV
I know how it must have hurt them.
Big show for the clowns at Wolfram & Hart. Big free-cable-television-soap- opera-action for Wolfram & Hart.
And it hurt me.
Even more than I can express. They didn't know. They didn't understand, and when they thought I was leaving them to die, their words cut me to the core.
I played it off, just shrugged away from Cordelia, standing between me and my escape, but inside I was dying. It hurt me to hear the words coming from her mouth, saying I hadn't listened to her. I had listened to her, and I told her so… but I knew she wouldn't understand then. She thought I was leaving her, and nothing short of me stopping right then and there and dropping everything to soothe her was going to make her think otherwise.
So, I just had to leave. Leave them thinking they were going to die. Only Lorne knew what I was doing. He was the one who suggested it, and he was the one who hid Connor away from the others, and the prying eyes of Wolfram & Hart. But in order for Wolfram & Hart to believe it, they had to believe it too. That's how I saw it.
Deceive them now, and live. Work through it all later.
After my detour to the quarry, and a bit of an explosive light show, I returned to the Hyperion to take what I had coming to me.
Then… Nothing.
I explained myself, with the help of Lorne, and all was forgiven—except for Cordelia. She just stood away from the rest of us, arms crossed. I had expected nothing less than tears, screaming, and lots of me getting hit.
But… Nothing.
In the end, she shrugged, flashed her Queen C smile and told us that Connor needed to be taken to the hospital for his check-up. As we left the Hyperion, I got what I knew was coming… in the form of a glare. It screamed 'we take care of the baby now, I chew you out later.'
I know it was inappropriate, but I smiled when she turned away. I knew she wouldn't let me off the hook. I'd be disappointed if she did.
***
10 The Deceived
Cordy POV
I couldn't let my emotions run rampant.
My first instincts were to cry and yell and even scream at him for what he put me through. But, I kept control.
I had something more important to take care of—Connor. I told myself to take care of him first, then take care of Angel.
I knew everyone was expecting me to fly off the handle… Hell, I think they wanted me to. They wanted me to say what they couldn't. Instead, Wesley just cleaned his glasses, Fred just shrugged it all away like she did with everything, and Gunn just patted Angel on the back.
And I… Just waited.
No words, no gestures, nothing. Not yet.
When all was said and done, well, nothing was said really, just 'done', I told everyone we needed to get to the hospital. Angel said something about following in a minute, and before I left I looked at him. He knew what my eyes meant. They meant big trouble.
When we got back from the hospital, Angel took Connor up to his apartment and I followed shortly after. Everyone else stayed down in the lobby; they knew what I was doing and they knew to stay out of the way. So, I continued up to his room to "talk".
***
11 With Deceit Comes Revelations
A knock at the door is what Angel expected. And he got what he asked for.
Cordelia knocked softly, then entered without waiting for Angel to respond. She quickly slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. Angel sat in his chair, what Cordelia had titled his "Brooding Chair", watching Connor sleep.
"We need to talk." Cordelia knew that sounded mundane, but she didn't know what else to say. She had everything worked out in her head, but the moment she walked through the door, it all seemed to ooze out of her brain.
Angel looked up from the crib to Cordelia and sighed. Granted it wasn't needed, but Angel did it to prepare himself for the verbal bashing he was sure to encounter. "I know… I'm sorry about tonight Cordy. I just thought it needed to be done."
Cordelia walked to the edge of Connor's crib and looked in at the sleeping baby. "You know, I had this all worked out in my mind. But, for some reason, it just doesn't seem to make sense. I should be mad at you, I mean, I am mad at you…. But, it feels like I shouldn't be because a part of me knows you did the right thing." She glanced at Angel, waiting for him to say something before she continued. He didn't.
"I was scared tonight, Angel. Really scared. And then you go all gung-ho about jetting out of here, leaving us to fight and I could've staked you for it." She smirked. She moved from the sleeping baby to Angel's bed and sat right in front of him. "I really thought you were leaving us. I know I should know better, but… tonight was just different. The way you've been acting about Connor really had me scared, like you really wouldn't let any of us get close to him, and you'd leave us so we couldn't." Cordelia stared into her hands, she didn't know where this conversation was going, she just knew she had to let it all out.
"I know how I acted, and I don't know what to say about it except I'm sorry. Being a 248-year-old dad is kinda weird, I guess I just freaked. But I want you to know that I heard everything you said to me in the courtyard today… You snapped me back into reality, Cordy. What you said grounded me." Angel leaned forward in his chair to be closer to Cordelia, and took her hands. "Look at me, please."
Cordelia struggled to look up at him. She had come in here with every intention of chewing him out, but now, all she wanted to do was hug him and that would make everything better. She didn't know where this guilt was coming from, or the sadness. Tears started to well up in her eyes when she finally matched his gaze. She managed a weak smile.
"Thank you. For everything. I don't think I say it enough to you or the others. You deserve to yell at me and hit me, and you're not." Angel wiped a tear from Cordelia's cheek and cupped her face with his hand. "I don't deserve you… I really don't. But I do appreciate you for everything you are to me, right here, right now. I could never leave you because I know you'd never leave me."
Cordelia finally broke with his words, and her tears flowed freely down her cheeks and Angel's hand. She took his hand from her face and stood. She pulled Angel up and hugged him tightly. She had completely forgotten about her anger, which was now replaced by love and relief. He had finally told her what she needed to hear. That he would never leave her. It was the plain truth that Cordelia wanted, needed, from Angel for so long and now he had finally given it to her. Finally, her soul felt lighter, a burden had been lifted from her and she felt like for the first time in months, she could breathe.
Cordelia pulled away from Angel and wiped at her tear stained face and smiled. I genuine smile, not her Queen C smile, but a loving, honest Cordelia smile. Angel's eyes brightened with the sight of her smiling face and felt the edges of his mouth turn upward. All she needed to do was smile, and Angel couldn't help himself. He had to smile back.
"I should get going home, Angel. And you should sleep, the sun will be up soon." Cordelia turned to Connor's crib and kissed him lightly on the forehead. Angel watched in silent awe as Cordelia lovingly said goodnight to his baby.
She turned back to Angel, and he knew he had to say something. "You know I love you, right Cordy? I wouldn't be able to do this without you…" Angel looked sheepishly at the floor. He really did love Cordelia in some way, but he didn't think he could ever say it out loud.
" I know what you mean Angel, and I love you too…" She sensed his embarrassment, but she knew exactly how he meant for it to sound, and she felt the exact same way. Cordelia gave him another quick hug before heading for the door.
When she reached it, she hesitated before opening it. She turned back to Angel, who was watching her go, and said quietly, "Thank you… for what you said…about not leaving." She started to say something else, but decided against it.
She opened to door enough to slip out into the hallway and silently closed it behind her.
End.
