Before Draco could speak, Ginny said "I don't expect you to understand. If you change your mind about wanting to hear what I say, I'm doing it now. I know how to go for the
veins- I've thought it out. So, will you listen or not?"

His mouth twitched, almost in a smile. "I'll listen."

"I don't know if I liked Harry, or if it was just- you know the way you get when you meet someone famous."

His mouth twitched again. "Of course I do, Weasley."

"I think it was, because I've never felt anything for a boy before or since. In fact, I'd just- started to feel that way about girls the summer before, so.. I think I knew it wasn't romantic. And then, even when I was used to him in my third and second year, I kind of held on to it, like maybe it would- like I wouldn't have to realize that I liked girls.

"But by- probably by the Yule Ball, I knew, and I admitted it to myself, you know? That I was that way. But it didn't really bother me too much- I knew my family'd not have that much of a problem with it-"

"Lucky."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"-and I had, you know, little crushes and stuff, but I didn't really- like anyone, seriously. And then this one day, almost at the end of the year, I was just talking to Hermione- I think she was helping me with Arithmancy, something like that- and I just sort of- realized that I was in love with her. It was... more real, more undeniable than it had ever been with anyone else I'd liked, that way. Ever.

"So I kind of- thought about her a lot, over the summer, and I was nearly sure she was straight, but I told myself that- because I didn't know, maybe I was wrong, maybe she could- like me someday. It was just a daydream, you know, just a fantasy, but it sort of made me feel better.

"And then- now she's going with Ron, you know, and she- I can tell she really likes him, and she always asks me for advice on his moods and stuff 'cos I'm his sister, and- I know I should be happy for her, and for him... I always liked him better than any of my other brothers, you know, but- now I'm just jealous of him." She swallowed and gave a strange, parched laugh. "So, that's it. That's why I'm here. Happy now?"

"Not really," he said.

"Oh?" she shot back. "And why not? Because I'm dirty or perverted or- or sick or something-"

"Actually, no," he said. "Because you're acting like a little crush is the end of the world."

"It's not a little crush," she snapped. "And it *is* the end of the world, the end of my world. Because I think there's only one person that everyone really, truly falls in love with, and if they don't- can't- love you, then... then you're finished. The end of your bloody world, at least."

"You think I don't know that?" he whispered. "I know what it's like, Weasley. But even if you'll never feel it- as much, with other girls, which I wouldn't bet on- there are other people to fall in love with. Who'd love you."

"Maybe," she said glumly. "But I doubt it."

There was a silence just short enough that neither of them realized she hadn't killed herself yet.

"Anyway," she asked, "what d'you mean you know what it's like?"

"To like someone," he muttered, under his breath. "To know they'd never like you."

"Ah," she said, almost teasing. "And who is it you like?"

"I'm not telling you, stupid. You Weasleys can never keep your mouths shut."

"We dead people," she whispered, "always can."

Right, better humor her. Safer that way- she *did* look desperate. But that didn't mean he could make himself say it. "Prthr."

"What?"

"Prter."

"*What?*"

"*Potter*; are you deaf or something?"

"You mean- oh my God."

"It's not funny!"

"I'm sorry- that's not why I'm laughing-"

"Yes it is."

"It is *not*. I'm laughing because I think Harry's actually gay."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Not that I could ever- have him, of course."

"Yeah."

"Still, though, it's funny."

"I know."

More silence. This time long enough. She considered the knife, decided against it.

"Didn't know you were, though. I feel stupid now, of course. You don't really *walk* straight."

"You can tell by the way people walk?"

"Sometimes."

"Can you teach me?"

She snickered. "Might take a while. We'd probably have to meet here once a week or something for gaydar lessons."

"I thought you weren't going to last that long."

The knot, the last spring, and the trap clicked. "Did you mean it, when you said that- about there being other girls?"

"I'd bet my manor. Especially with that gaydar you're saying you have."

"I'll- see you."

"You will?"

"Don't push your luck, Malfoy."

The note dropped. The fire left. The knife put away. The girl momentarily satisfied, searching. The boy cold and alone and given to dreams. The elements that joined together for some quick, bright moments forever separate.