Part 3
[Well, here it is, another part. Hope you enjoy it, not much else to say!!]
Monica was still pregnant. She knew it, being that she was sick every morning. And over all, she just felt pregnant. Light headed, dizzy, sick. She was happy that she had a part of Chandler here with her. And she had wanted to have three or four kids, and here was her third. But she was out in the middle of nowhere. She had no doctor, she had no idea if her baby was healthy. She didn't have enough healthy food to eat to make sure her baby was healthy. And what if they were still here in seven, eight months? How could she safely have a baby here? How could she take care of an infant here? As much as she wanted this child, she hoped that a helicopter or a boat would come and save them while she still had time to make sure she and her baby were safe. BUt days passed and nothing came. And the more days with nothing, the more she thought it WASN'T going to come.
Hey, Monica, how do you feel this morning? Kathy asked her.
Okay. Not so great. Pregnant. And you know what that's like. Kathy had two children at home.
Well, at least I wasn't stranded on Glligan's Island.... Kathy said, then thought it would only make her feel worse.
It's okay, Monica said. I mean, I would be totally hysterical now if it weren't for this. This way, I still have a little part of my husband here with me. But I'm worried about this baby's health.
I'm surprised you didn't have a miscarriage when the plane crashed, Kathy said. That was quite an ordeal.
I know. And I know it's awful, but I kinda wished I had. Because I am so afraid for the baby's health. No food to eat, no doctors to check it out. But that's a terrible thought, isn't it?
Oh, Monica, no it's not. I can totally understand that.
I guess I shouldn't say things like that. Who's to say it still can't happen, huh? I'd feel terrible then. But for now, well, at least I have some part of home to hang on to.
* * * * * *
I know it's hard, Chandler, but you gotta do it, Ross said. You can't leave Monica's stuff here forever. It might seem soon, but it's been a month. And the longer it's here, the harder it's gonna be to get rid of it.
Oh yeah. It's only been here for SEVEN years. Not long at all, Chandler quipped.
You guys haven't lived here for seven years, Ross pointed out.
We've lived TOGETHER for almost seven years. Therefore, I have been living with all these things for seven years.
Look, Chandler you don't have to get rid of it ALL. You keep the special things. You keep the things that you can leave around your house, or that you can use. Get rid of her clothes. Stuff like that.
It's only been a month!
Like I said before....
Yeah, yeah, okay. But it's just so hard...
I know. I'll be here to help you, though. And I'm sure the others will, too.
Okay, I guess. You're right. I mean, maybe I should. It can't help by seeing her clothes everytime I have to go into the closet, every morning when I get dressed.
Right, exactly, Ross said, patting him on the back. It's for the best.
* * * * * *
Two days later, everyone, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, and Annabel, came over to help Chandler go through Monica's stuff. They started small, by finding things in the living room that they should get rid of. They didn't find much, agreeing that all the things that were her's there were just as much Chandler's. They didn't find much downstairs, but upstairs was another matter.
They went through the things in the closet: the shoes, the clothes, the boxes of stuff. They decided to give all the shoes away to Good Will. With every shoe that came out of the closet, never to go back in, Chandler felt horrible. Sure, it was bad having to see her things there every day with no one to wear them, but he now realized it would be just as bad NOT seeing them there. He felt almost as guilty as he had when they got Toffee. (Which was the agreed upon name for the puppy- because he looked like the color of toffee.) He told the others some excuse as to why he had to leave the room, and left. He went into Audrey's room, where she was drawing or coloring something.
Hi Sweetie, he said. She looked up at him and smiled.
God, that's Monica's smile, he thought. She's got that smile. That incredible killer smile. And the eyes. And the hair. Oh my God, she's gonna look just like her when she grows up, isn't she? I don't know if that will make it better or worse.
Hiya, Daddy, Audrey welcomed him.
Whatcha doing? he asked Audrey.
Drawing pictures for everyone I know. She was only two and a half, but she spoke really well. Her vocabulary and motor skills had progressed a lot in a short amount of time.
That's a lot of people, Chandler said. That's gonna keep you busy.
Yep. I done two already, she pointed to a pile of already done pictures. For yours and Sam. Chandler had to smile at her. She had her hair in a ponytail so high on her head that the bottom of her ponytail barely reached her neck. Phoebe had done it this morning. When she was in the mood for it, she wanted stuff done with her hair all the time. But when she wasn't in the mood for it, no one could touch it. More often than not, she was trying to find someone to do her hair. Usually, it was Monica. But in the last month, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Annabel found themselves doing it all the time. Twice Joey had done it, and once it had been Ross' job. Chandler had done her hair so much this month, he didn't realize how little he had done it last month when Monica was around. Audrey asked, breaking his thoughts.
Yeah, Audrey? he asked her.
Is Mommy in Heaven? Her question shocked him a bit. He hadn't expected her to ask that. He didn't even know that she knew about Heaven.
Yeah, I'm sure she is. I didn't know you knew about Heaven, he said.
Katie told me. When her doggy went dead, she says he wents there.
Oh. Well, I'm sure that's where Mommy is. Watching you right now from there.Audrey smiled and went back to her picture. Chandler ruffled her hair and left the room, leaving her to drawing.
He still didn't want to go back to the closet cleaning, so he went to go see what Sam was doing. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV. Or so he thought. The TV wasn't on.
he sat down next to him. Are you okay, there, or what?
Sam shook his head.
Why not?
Mommy's gone! She's she's gone! Forever! Sam started crying into Chandler's shoulder.
I know. It's no fun, is it?
Nope. You miss her a lot, too, don't you?
So much, Sam, so much. Every night, when I get into bed and she's not there, even I start to cry.
You cry? Sam asked, incredulously.
I sure do. I try not to do it when everyone's around, especially you and Audrey, but sometimes, I have to.
I miss her so much, Sam sniffled into Chandler's chest. Every night, both of you used to come kiss me goodnight. Now it's only you. And every day, she'd make me wash my hands when I came in the door. Now it's you doing that. And instead of Mommy scrubbing everything clean, you do it. And you never used to. Chandler hadn't realized it, but he WAS doing a lot of cleaning. Maybe he was trying to make it seem like she was still there, by having a spotless house. Or maybe he was just trying to take his mind off her being gone by cleaning.
I've been thinking, Sam said. Chandler sighed. He had been doing a lot of thinking,' lately, and usually, it ended up being something bad about himself. I've been a really bad kid.
Chandler asked him
All those times I was mean to Mommy. When I threw fits to get something or got mad at her. And she was she was really a good mom. Now look. She's dead.
Sam, c'mon, you're a kid! She knew you loved her. I know what you mean. I did my fair share of mean and dumb things to her. But I know, more than anything, that I did MORE things to show her I loved her. And I know you did, too.
I guess. But I feel kinda bad.
Don't think about it. You're a kid. She understood.
And think of how much I cried when I was a baby....
Oh yeah, and you know, you just started screaming when you were born. He smiled and laughed, obvisouly understanding that all babies do that. And so did Audrey. I mean, how rude. His tears stopped, and were replaced by laughter.
From the top of the stairs, Rachel and Joey saw the whole thing, and smiled. You know, Rachel whispered. Even though they lost a wonderful mother, at least they got left behind with a wonderful father.
* * * * * * *
Okay, Professor, you're never gonna be able to make anything useful, Natasha said to Alan. [To remind you, the people on the island are: Alan, Simon, Bruce, Natasha, Kathy, Monica, and Laila.]
Alan told her I did take a course in college where we learned how to wire things. Radios included.
How could that even work? she asked There is no wire connecting to the radio STATION or to the phone COMPANY!!!
Geez, Ms. PMS, here, Alan said.
I'm NOT PMSing, okay? She thought about that for a while. Oh my God, what am I gonna do THAT time of the month! I have no pads or tampons or anything.....
Monica doesn't have to worry about that, at least, Laila thought out loud. I only have a matter of days before it becomes my problem.
No, she only has to worry about having, carrying, giving birth to and caring for a baby on a deserted island, Simon said.
And there's MR. PMS, Natasha said.
Well, at least we're all alive, and not dead like everyone else on the plane, Kathy pointed out.
Everyone thinks we are though, Laila noted.
Monica closed her eyes, and tried not to think of that. Everyone thought she was dead. Her parents, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Annabel, Chandler. Oh God, Chandler. He thinks I'm dead she thought. Gone, forever. If I thought he was dead.......I would be a mess. Sam and Audrey. Oh my God, they think their mother is dead! I'm NOT! I'm right here! Living, breathing, NOT DEAD. What if we stay here for years? What if Chandler remarries and my kids only know HER as Mom? It was making her sick thinking about it. Or maybe it was the baby. It was hard to tell these days.
I can't wait to see the look on my husbands face when I come home.... Laila said. Thinks I'm dead, then I knock on the door....alive, breathing.
I know, tell me about it. It's the good part of all this. The looks on our family and friends' faces when we come home, Alan said.
But- but what if- if they, you know, move on? Remarry? Have other kids? Kathy asked, suddenly.
I know, Alan said..... They get over us.
How long until we get out of here?? Monica asked. Now all she wanted to do was go home, eat healthy, see a doctor, and clear it up that she was alive.
Soon, I hope, Bruce said. Really soon.
I'm not dead, Chandler, she whispered, as if he could hear her. Do whatever you want, get rid of my stuff, take off your wedding ring, have a funeral, memorial service, whatever it is you have when you don't have the body, just don't move on. I'm here, alive. With your baby, she whispered so quietly that no one, but she, could hear.
* * * * * * * *
Should we keep this? Ross asked. They were still going through the closet, minus Chandler who was downstairs with Sam. Ross was holding up the skirt she had worn the night she and Chandler got engaged.
Ummm, is that special? Phoebe asked
She wore it when Chandler proposed.... Ross said.
Which time? Phoebe asked.
The third time, Chandler replied from the doorway.
Oh, the third time? Then yeah, of course, Phoebe said.
Ross sighed and threw it on top of her wedding dress and the shirt she was wearing when she found out she was pregnant with Audrey. Otherwise known as the pile of things to keep.
This is really hard, Ross said. I'm gonna take a break, now, too.
The others all agreed, and left the room, Rachel didn't even make a comment on Ross taking a break', and Phoebe told Chandler to look through her underwear and decide which of those to keep, because only he knew which ones are special. Rachel hit her on the arm and drug her out of the room. Chandler sat on the bed and sighed.
Well, Mon, if I DID go through your underwear, I know which ones I'd keep. I still remember which ones you were wearing the night you got pregnant the first time. God, I miss you, he sighed and held his face in his hands, knowing he was about to cry.
* * * * *
Auntie Rachel, this one is yours, Audrey presented Rachel with a picture. And for Aunt Amabel, she handed Annabel a picture. She could never pronounce Annabel's name. Or Uncle' either, for that matter. For Auntie Pheebs, and Nuncle Ross and Nuncle Joey, she gave them all pictures as well.
Why, thank you Miss Audrey, Annabel said. Audrey smiled and went back to her room, probably to finish making pictures. But a minute later she came back with another and put it on the refrigerator. And for Mommy She said, then left.
All the adults just stood there, no one saying anything. Phoebe started silently crying; it was for her, the first time she realized that Monica was gone. Audrey had given everyone pictures, except for Monica....because she wasn't there. And never again would be. It was only then Phoebe realized it.
Rachel asked, also crying, silently. Are you okay?
I just- I just realized....she really is gone. All day I was making jokes, being dumb. All that third proposal and underwear crap. But now I know I was doing that just to lighten the mood....so that I wouldn't realize she was gone. But she is! she paused. Now I can only imagine how Chandler feels.
Rachel gave her a hug. I know. Sucks when you realize that, doesn't it? That she's never coming back.
