Fred and George and the Attack of the Mistletoe
A/N This is my first story, so don't kill me if it sucks!
It started off like any other first-day-of-Christmas-break. Fred and George were in Filch's office, in trouble as usual.
"What was going through you boys' heads when you smeared all the dragon snot down the walls of the dungeon? And besides that, where in the hell did you get it from?"
The twins both had puzzled expressions on their faces, their eyes wandering over to a slimy, green filing cabinet. A drawer was labeled, "Never to see the light of day again!"
Fred's face cracked into an EVIL GRIN!!!! George did the same grin, but it looked a bit more professional. "If it were up to me I'd hang the both of you from the ceiling by your thumbs, but all you two troublesome fools get is a measly detention! Now, I get to decide your fate in these sometimes anguishing experiences, so I'm going to make this worth your while. Not only do you get 25 points from Gryffindor each, but your detention is..." Filch let out along menacing laugh, " you have to..."
Suddenly there was a smash in the hallway that echoed like a drum symbol being smashed over and over. "Dammit Peeves! I was so close to closing their fate you son of a bitch! You boys stay put while I head out, or else."
Filch stormed out of the room with Mrs. Norris at his heels. " I thought that asshole would never leave." George said as he got out of his chair and walked over to the filing cabinet and opened the first drawer to the top. "What do we have here?" George pulled out tons of confiscated things. Stuff like 'No Heat Wet Start Filibuster Fireworks', an entire set of biting teacups, and other devilish delights. But the thing that caught George's eye was...
"George! Do you know what that thing is?" Fred exclaimed with an EVIL GRIN.
"Of course Frederick. Why, I believe it to be enchanted mistletoe. By golly, what do you think of that?"
"I'm quite sure you mean 'by golly, what do you think we can do with that'!"
"Who shoul..." George was cut off by the sound of Filch yelling as he stormed back into the office. "Hurry! Hide the stuff before he catches us!" Fred, looking around and coming to the last resort shoved the mistletoe in his mouth. "Fred? Have you lost your mind completely? That stuff is poisonous!"
Fred shrugged his shoulders and sat back in his chair, just as Filch walked in. "So, what did you two boys steal this time? Hmm?" Filch looked from one boy to the next.
"Why Mr. Filch, whatever gave you the impression that we would steal anything?" George said with an innocent smile. Fred also tried to smile, but ended up with chipmunk cheeks. Filch gave them both menacing looks.
"Out. Out of my sight, before you start another catastrophe!" he screamed, his eyed popping out of his head.
The twins sprinted through the door, up a set of stairs, and down at trapdoor. As soon as they were out of any teacher's hearing range, Fred doubled over and gagged. A sprig of greenery with little white berries fell into his outstretched hands. George got down on the floor next to him and asked "Are you okay?"
Fred started to reply but just pointed and tried to talk but couldn't. So he started waving his arms and moving his lips.
"Fred? What's wrong?" George got what Fred was doing and wheeled around to find a hovering sprig of mistletoe and Draco Malfoy and Parvati Patil smooching but with the most disgusted looks on their faces.
Second years passed by giggling and cheering "Draco and Parvati, sitting in a bush..."
George jumped to his feet and grabbed the mistletoe. "Come on guys, go do that in private. You don't NEED Mistletoe to do that for so long! Please! You're scaring the first years!"
"We weren't making out on purpose in front of all you guys. That didn't come out right." Draco said looking outraged.
"Yeah. Draco and I were just discussing our potions assignment about fermenting trucklemare's blood to make that non-stop singing potion, and then..."
"You two decided to play tonsil hockey."
Parvati began to object but Harry walked in and looked around. "Hey guys what's going on." His smile faded when he saw Draco.
"Oh nothing, except Draco and Parvati were just trading spit with each other. But other than that, nothing."
Harry fell on the floor with laughter. "Well I don't see what's so funny! We didn't even mean to kiss. Well I mean I didn't. I just felt him pull me over to him and he wouldn't let me go. No matter how hard I struggled!"
"What?! How dare you accuse me of such stupidity! I wouldn't dare kiss a butt-ugly slut like you!"
"Excuse me?" Parvati stared straight at him and suddenly she let out a terrible surge of rage and nailed Malfoy straight in the jaw knocking him back a couple feet.
Just as Malfoy had gotten hit, George leaned down and whispered to Fred "I hope you realize what a powerful weapon we have here." Fred Let out a soundless, hysterical, maniac, laugh. "Uh-oh. We better get that fixed. Let's head up to the common room and talk to Lee. Then we can make a diversion for Madame Pomfrey so she'll leave and let me figure out how to deal with this, disappearance of your voice." Fred gave a look of terror and pretended to die. "Har har. Let's go."
Fred and George headed up the Gryffindor common room. "Christmas crackers." The portrait of the fat lady swung open as usual and the two were faced with Hermione.
"You two. I know what you two have been up to."
George looked scared. Of course she knew! She must know all about the enchanted mistletoe and the effects it caused. "Really?"
"Yes! And frankly, I'm ashamed! You two should know better than to use charlie like that. I mean really! He probably had no idea that you guys would smear the snot all over the dungeon walls." As she kept babbling on and on, Fred and George both heaved a sigh of relief. Then they both exchanged glances and knew exactly what the other was thinking.
"Um, Hermione, would you be so kind as to stand right here and tell us when Ron gets in? We need to go talk to Lee." George let the mistletoe go and it floated over to Hermione and dangled above her head.
"Oh alright, I suppose. But hurry it up."
Just as the duo started up the stairs the common room door swung open and in walked Harry.
Suddenly the two had no choice but to start making out. Fred and George laughed hysterically. "Holy shit! What the hell is going on in here? Oh I see. It's the mistletoe.What braindead idiot would be so stupid as to stick mistletoe above the door?" Ron said disgustedly as he took the mistletoe out of thin air not even realizing it.
