Where Are You
Rika Nonake walked down the street, her face devoid of all emotions. From an open window of a house, a sad Christmas song played.
Where are you Christmas?
Rika laughed dryly to herself. She'd lost Christmas a long time ago, if she had ever had Christmas. Her life had gotten worse after a brief closeness with her family and the Tamers around the Deva time. Her mother, after having seen her willingly in a dress once, had bought her many more, and tried to push her into modeling again. The Tamers hadn't seen each other lately, and Renamon kept fading away. All the Tamers knew that it was because of a prolonged stay in the real world, as the other Digimon were fading too, but they didn't need their Digimon like Rika did. Renamon was the only one Rika could talk to about her problems. Also, Christmas was always a bad time for Rika. Her father had left early Christmas morning. Also, and the worst of all, her grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer.
Why can't I find you?
She couldn't find the happy emotions that had filled her four-year old self when she and the man she'd called Daddy danced around the green, pine-scented Christmas tree. Her mother, standing beside them, smiling, until her cell phone rang and she dashed off with a quick peck on the cheek to both of them. Her father had said it wasn't her mother's fault he was leaving with Cindi, that she was just busy, and that he loved her. But did he really love Rika? He'd sent a Christmas card once, saying in a brief scrawl that he and Cindy were married and expecting a baby. After that, they'd lost all contact. She could still remember his parting words: "I love you Rika, baby. Don't forget me." And she hadn't. She could still remember his booming laugh, the smile, and the day-old stubble on his chin when he forgot to shave.
When did you go away?
An involuntary thought came through her head. 'If someone that loved me spent Christmas with me … but no one could love this cold frozen girl that you are now.' Rika put both hands over her ears and ran. From what, she didn't know. She just ran. The cold, hard, rain pelted her like a million cruel knives. Her face was wet with the rain … and maybe something else.
Where are you Christmas?
Takato sighed as he looked out the window. For some reason, this Christmas he didn't feel happy at all. He pulled out his sketchpad. 'Well, maybe drawing will make me feel better.' He seemed to be missing something. What, he didn't know. His hand moved, completely of it's own accord over the paper. For a while, he thought maybe he was just bored with nothing to do, as the Devas had pretty much gone for good now.
Why can't I find you?
The thought came unbidden the same time he finished drawing. 'Maybe you need love … not the family kind …' He shook his head, startled. Why would he need that? … He looked at his drawing, and his thought and his feelings suddenly became clear. He'd drawn a picture of Rika Nonake.
Why did you go away?
But Rika didn't care for him, didn't care for anybody except maybe Renamon. She didn't even seem care about her own life. And the most frustrating thing was that she didn't let anyone through her rock-hard outer layer. He was sure she was an angel underneath her cold, unmoving facade. 'Right now, she's more like the Grim Reaper … one that doesn't reap lives.' He sighed again. Maybe fresh air would clear his mind. Only when he had stepped outside and locked the door did he realize that it was raining.
"Just my lousy luck." Takato said out loud, and then picked up the umbrella that was always hung outside. Suddenly, Renamon appeared.
"Takato, have you seen Rika?" She asked, a trace of worry in her even voice.
"No, why?" He asked. 'Oh great, did something happen to her?'
"She's disappeared. I last saw her early this morning. She never leaves for this long. We have to find her before her mother starts to worry. Will you help me?"
"Of course!" He said. 'Where could she have gone?'
"Thank you." She said, and vanished.
"Stop doing that!" He said, to the air where she had just been. "Rika's gone? And on Christmas Eve? Wonderful." He tried to be calm, but underneath, worry was boiling up. 'What if she's hurt? What if she's running away? Just when I realize that … I love her …' He looked up, surprised, again. Did he really? He answered himself firmly. Yes.
My world is changing,
Rika looked around her again. She still didn't recognize this part of town, and it was getting late. 'Do you really want to go home?' The cynical voice that had slowly become a part of her stung her mind. 'I mean, what's even there? You can take care of yourself until you find a gang to take you in, which shouldn't take long.' But … what was there? Another unbidden thought flew to her mind. 'Takato …' Takato! I can't like him! 'Yeah, he can't even talk without tripping up at least once. If only he could battle as good as he looks.' "Whoa! Now that's overdoing it!" Rika cried out loud. "I did not just think that. This is not good." She continued. Rika hadn't liked anyone, ever, that hadn't been family, or her partner.
I'm rearranging,
But this wasn't liking, really. The way she felt around him, strange, the powerful feeling, and finding that she sometimes let her guard down when she was around the boy, it was more than just liking someone. 'You love him, don't you?' "No way!" She said. "Or do I? …"
But Christmas, you can stay.Why had she run? "Maybe I am going crazy." She said to herself. "Talking to myself, for instance …" To run from nothing wasn't good. But recently, her home … hadn't been a home. It had become a place to run away from. Her mother's disappointment at her attitude and performance during the shoots she forced Rika into. Her inability to do anything about Renamon's fading. Her grandmother in the hospital, a needle dangling from her hand. The coldness, the silence, at home, as she, and sometimes her mother, sat eating dinner without speaking. The tenseness, the fragile thread they were both on, walking the fine line between exploding and just keeping away. The explosion, actually, would have been better. They would have gotten everything off their chests. But they stayed the way they were, each giving the other a wide berth. Once again, Rika started to run.
Where are you Christmas?
"Rika!" Renamon called. "Where are you?" 'Where could she be?'
I think I've lost you.
Rika heard someone calling for her. She started towards the sound, but changed her mind and ran the other way.
Where are you Christmas?
Takato could hear Renamon calling on the other side of the area. "Rika!" He called again. Suddenly, a person ran out from an alleyway and bowled straight into him, knocking them both over. His umbrella flew away several paces. He caught a glimpse of sunset hair, and knew who it was immediately.
Why did you go away?
Rika burst out from the alley she'd just run through, and ran into someone, knocking them both over. She saw the flash of goggles on the person's head, and knew who it was instantly.
"Takato?"
"Rika!" Takato pulled her to him instinctively, to prevent her running away again. To his surprise, she didn't object. "Where have you been? I've been worried to death about you, and Renamon's been searching the entire day!"
Rika felt him put his arms around her, and tensed, but then changed her mind and let him pull her down. The rain had soaked her through, and she was cold and shivering. His warmth felt so … good. He was speaking. "Where have you been? I've been worried to death about you, and Renamon's been searching the entire day!" 'He was really worried about me?'
"You were worried about me?" She asked, not bothering to keep the surprise out of her voice.
"Of course!" He said. "My God, Rika, I don't know what I'd do if you left!" It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
"You … care?" She asked. 'Maybe … he does care for me …'
"Well …" He said, and then decided it was now or never. "Yeah … I do care. I care a lot about you, and … well …"
Rika looked down at him, his hair tousled from their fall, the light from the street lamp glinting off those trademark goggles, and the rain striking his face. 'Those eyes! Like deep pools of kindness …' She thought. 'He's really quite good-looking … Why did I never notice that before?' At the same time, he looked up at her, with her hair out of its high ponytail, falling down around her face like a halo, the rain a fine drizzle on her head. 'Her eyes …' He thought, not knowing that she was thinking about his eyes too. 'Violet … No, gray … Violets-gray … Without that cold mask on … She's beautiful … Why didn't I see that before?' Without thinking, he reached up, put his hands on either side of her face, and pulled it down to his.
Rika felt him take her face in his hands, and gently pull her down to him. His eyes flashed once, she closed her eyes, and then their lips met.
It was the most wonderful thing both of them had ever experienced. It was indescribable. When they pulled apart, she stared down into those mahogany eyes. 'Did that really happen … Or am I still dreaming?' Takato had the exact same thought.
'Oh my God … did I just do that?' Takato thought suddenly. "I'm … sorry …" Rika got up wordlessly, and Takato's heart began to crack. Then she held her hand out to him.
"Here." Rika held her hand out to him and pulled him up.
"I'm really sorry …" Takato said again.
"Don't be." Rika said, so quietly he barely caught it. But he heard it, and it was like seeing the sun come out, the way hope fell over his face. She smiled, a rare smile. 'A million dollar smile.' Takato thought. 'I knew it.' 'He really is quite cute …' Rika thought. 'Did I just think cute?!!!' She reached up and put her arms around his neck.
"I love you." They both whispered it at the same time, just before Rika pulled them into their second kiss. Somewhere across the street, the Christmas song finished itself.
Where are you Christmas?
I think I've found you,
You may have gone away,
But you're back today.
I know you left I know you may not come back At least not the way you were
But I know you're back now,
And maybe it's not you that's changed,
Maybe it's just me.
Lokogato: Takato …
Lokogato: Takato …
Lokogato: TAKATO …
Lokogato: TAKATO MATSUKI!!!
Takato: Yeah?
Lokogato: Takato, if you can bear to tear yourself away from Rika for a moment …
Takato: (blushing) Yeah?
Lokogato: Would you two do the Disclaimer?
Rika: Of course.
Takato: Lokogato does not own Digimon,
Rika: Or any of the characters used in this story.
Takato: However, the story is hers,
Rika: And if you try to use it,
Takato + Rika: She will sic Enramon on you!
Lokogato: •_~ (winking) And, just to satisfy your curiosity Guilmon, I did write the poem. By the way, the song (yes, it's a songfic, my first) is my own skewed version of the song Where Are You Christmas, as you can probably tell from the italic-ed and colored words.
Guilmon: Really? Wow, you've gotten better since I last saw you, Lokogatomon!
Lokogato: •_• (sweatdrop) Erm … Not … Lokogatomon …
Enramon: Guilmon, it isn't Lokogatomon. Try not to put 'mon' on the end of all names.
Guilmon: Okay, Enra!
Enramon: Except for Digimon names!!!!!!
Guilmon: Okay Enramon!
Rika: **sigh** He'll learn … eventually … of course, Takato could help with the teaching a little …
Takato: ()_() But he doesn't listen to me!
Rika: That's what happens when you prove yourself to be on about the same level of intelligence as a rock. (without waiting for a reply) Renamon?
Renamon: Yes, Rika?
Rika: Lokogato, Enramon, let's go.
Lokogato + Enramon: Of course.
Takato + Guilmon: But-but-but …
Rika: **long-suffering sigh** And you two …
Pls wait 4 da next fic!
Lokogato
^*~
