Disclaimer: Same old, same old. I don't own the Gundam boys, but look at what fun things they do, when I pretend ;)
Notes: Well, this is as much a surprise to me as anyone else. Since I would have never guessed that my second full fic would be a (possibly) stand-alone 3x4, ANGST. I always thought it would be a 5x6x13, it's so fun ;). Pleas C&C this one since this is the first time I've done a fic without my evil black book with green ink.
Reflections
By: GhostJ
I have always loved the circus, because the circus is the one place that I was always sure to find someone who knew how I felt as a back sheep. Most people would probably disagree, but they didn't grow up the only boy in a household of 29 sisters. There were many occasions when I would have traded all that money and supposed power just to be with other people who felt like me.
In my opinion, no matter what else a circus has become, it will always be a place where people who are different from those around them can meet, and live, and work together. So that they aren't alone anymore. I think that's why he went there, he's always so alone and as much as I would help, I'm afraid. Afraid that I'm wrong and that he'll leave and I'll just be alone again.
I've always related to him. Not because we look alike, we don't at all. His brown hair and emerald green eyes are a drastic counterpoint to my sandy blond and blue. Not too mention the heights. Half the time that's the only thing that stops me from just throwing it all to hell and kissing him. The fact is, that unless he's willing, I'd need a ladder to reach.
I think the reason I associate so well with him is that he's a clown. I don't mean like Duo, of course not. Trowa never smiles. But I think his job makes our roles so similar. He never smiles but yet he goes out there, with his face painted in a grotesque grin and makes a mockery of himself for others, pretending all the while to actually have the joy he's spreading. While I, I spend my days in gilded halls meeting diplomats and businessmen, discussing peace for the world. When all there is in my soul is turbulence. I smile for everyone to see, it makes others happy, but inside I'm still so alone.
I think that's the reason I'm still a Gundam pilot. We're all so alone, but we're together now. Kinda like a circus of five and the world's our audience. Perhaps, perhaps in time, I'll feel brave enough to tell him, but until then the camaraderie that we share makes me realize that I'm not so alone anymore.
