Three weeks later: Tuesday.

It was three weeks before he finally came to Wisconsin, I had not expected him, in fact I had been too busy to really think about the past month at all. My mother was seriously ill and was deteriorating fast, the doctors didn't think she had much longer to live, they gave her a month, maybe two at a stretch. My time had been spent looking after my mom and my dad who was in almost as bad a shape as mom. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to help, what to say, how to deal with the love of his life dying. It was bad enough watching my mom die but I could see that my father wouldn't last long after she died, he didn't know life without her. All the day was spent looking after my mom and at night when she finally went to sleep I only had enough energy to cry myself to sleep and think about what a mess everything was.

He came at 2:00 in the afternoon. I had just finished clearing away the dishes from lunch with my sister when the doorbell rang. I went to the door to see who it was, expecting yet another well wisher with yet another bunch of flowers or bowl of fruit. But it was Josh, looking very sheepish,

"Hi." he said quietly

"Hi… what do you want?" I said slightly shocked to find him on our doorstep, but still trying to sound angry with him.

"I came to apologise, to talk." I looked over his face and I could see he meant it but then he had always looked like that and then when I had really needed his help Josh had turned his back on me.

"I thought we'd done that in the Oval Office."

"No, you talked, and we all listened. We really listened, but now its time to talk properly." he stood in the doorway as I looked over my choices, I couldn't really turf him out when he'd come all the way from D.C.,

"Come in then." I mumbled

"Thanks." I moved out of the doorway as he climbed the little step and entered my home. It felt weird to see him there, he'd been to my apartment in D.C. plenty of times but he'd never been here. I watched as he looked around the living room, sizing everything up,

"How's you're mom doing?" he asked, his eyes full of concern again.

"Not good, they say a month maybe two at the most."

"How's your dad?"

"He's not taking it well but we're managing, and my sister is here too so…" Josh nodded, we both stood in silence, unsure of what to stay, usually we never had enough hours in the day to say all we wanted but today there was just silence.

"How are you holding up?" he finally asks

"Ok, as good as can be I suppose." I say shrugging my shoulders.

"When are you coming back?"

"I'm not."

"But Donna…"

"Did you read my letter of resignation?"

"Yes, but I was hoping maybe you'd had time to change your mind."

"I haven't, and I'm not going to."

"The office isn't the same without you."

"You'll cope I'm sure." the whole conversation was said quietly but from both of us there was an undertone of anger and emotion.

"It's been hell." He said slumping into the old armchair. I stared at him for a second, he looked defeated and tired

"Why?"

"Because you're right and there's not a lot we can do about it, everyone is in such a state, everyone is angry at everyone else, even Sam is snapping at people, I mean Sam? He never snaps!"

"I'm not coming back to sooth your guilt. Do something about it!"

"But we can't, it's more…"

"Complicated than that. So you keep saying. But why? Please just tell me why it's complicated, then maybe I'll understand." Josh looked up at me; he seemed desperate to speak and started to open his mouth but then looked back down at the floor,

"Believe me if I could I would, honestly."

"Then there's nothing more to say, I'm not coming back to work for this administration and that's it." he stood up suddenly and grabbed my shoulders,

"Please, Donna I'm sorry we haven't lived up to your expectations, I'm really sorry. I wish I could do more, you know I do. This is the kind of thing I would love to sink my teeth into but I can't. I promise we'll try harder, I promise that I'll try harder. You know I'd move mountains for you Donna, just this one is restricted." he was staring straight into my eyes and his words had shocked and surprised me in their strength, he'd really move mountains for me? At that moment all I wanted to do was kiss him and say I would be back at work tomorrow morning, but there was still limitations on his promises and he still wasn't going to do the one thing I wanted, I didn't care about the other stuff, the HMO's were my concern.

"I'm sorry Josh, I can't." I said quietly as I moved away from his arms and sat in the chair opposite. He stood for a minute or too and then moved towards the door,

"I'll see myself out." he said quietly and the next thing I heard was the front door slam shut. I put my head down and cried.