The Perfect Storm

By Caeyle

Rated G Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters

Notes: A story I wrote quickly for my sister cause I promised her one if she'd feed the dog. Anyway, I've decided to post it. Plotless, something pointless to read if you want a laugh.

Revised 6/10/02: Minor changes, it makes the story flow better, I think.

Sirius Black sat in his dormitory, grumbling about the rain. He looked up as James entered the room, carelessly throwing his bag on the floor beside his bed.

"What if something breaks in there?" he asked.

"What?!" James raised his eyebrows. "And this comes from the infamous Sirius Black?"

"Well, at least I don't have 'important essays' for ink to be spilled on inside my bag," Sirius countered, although he wasn't really in the mood.

"So, anyway, what are you doing here?" asked James, catching on.

"Why, out of all times, does it have to rain today!" Sirius grumbled, annoyed.

"What wrong with rain today?" James questioned. "I thought you love rain, especially when it falls on Slytherins taking outdoor classes."

"Because he wants to try out his new racing broom he got for his birthday," a voice said from the doorway.

"Oh, that racing broom," James said, as if he had just remembered. "By the way, Moony," he frowned, "Why are you all wet?"

"I'm wet?" Remus looked at himself pretending to be surprised, while James rolled his eyes.

"Looks like someone's sarcasm if rubbing off on our Moony," he said pointedly to Sirius.

Sirius merely shrugged. "It is king of obvious. He went outside and got wet."

But James wasn't paying attention. "You know," James said slowly, "We could go play quidditch in the rain."

Sirius leapt up at once. "Brilliant idea, old pal! Let's go!"

Remus shook his head, caught between amusement and despair. "Wonder why he couldn't think of that himself," he mumbled. Then, in a louder voice, he said, "I'll go find Peter then. We can have one beater, one chaser, one seeker, and one keeper."

"Okay, then, let's go!" James said. Sirius dived under his bed for his broom: a brand new Silver Arrow.

"You keep your broom under your bed?"

"Of course," Sirius said. "Why, where do you keep yours?"

"In my trunk, obviously," James said.

"Not obviously," Sirius argued. "Besides, my broom won't fit inside my trunk."

"Make your trunk bigger then," James said, shrugging. "Okay, let's go."



"What are you two doing?" McGonagall stopped them in the Entrance Hall, looking very suspicious. Sirius couldn't imagine why.

"Nothing involving toilet seats or Slytherins," he answered earnestly.

"We're just going out to play quidditch," James added.

"Now, in the rain?" She looked even more suspicious, if that was possible, since she had already looked like she would like to put them both in a full body bind and lock them in the closet till Monday.

"It's not illegal or anything, is it?" Sirius said in a worried tone. "I would absolutely hate to break one of our school rules."

"No. but. honestly!" She strode away, muttering something about toilet seats.

"Well, that was quick," James said, rolling his eyes at Sirius' 'I would hate to break a rule' act.

"Probably going to see what we did with toilet seats," Sirius reminded James, grinning.

James rolled his eyes again. They had never done anything with toilet seats in their six years at Hogwarts. "Well, since you brought it up, I suppose we had better do something."

"Of course, Prongs, but later," Sirius said as walked outside. It was very cloudy, and neither of them could see far because of the rain. And fog. "After all," he continued, "it wouldn't do to have everyone thinking we did something we didn't do, right?"

"Absolutely," James agreed.

"Well, you took long enough," Peter said.

"McGonagall stopped us in the hall, and oh, never mind. Moony, we can't have one of each player," Sirius protested.

"Why not?" Remus asked calmly.

"You do have the balls, don't you? Okay, good." James noticed a crate sitting nearby. "Anyway, because then we need an opposing team."

Remus' face fell. "Oh," was all he could think of to say at the moment.

"So, what we do do," James continued, "Is to have a seeker-beater and a chaser-keeper. Me and Sirius are a team."

"Sirius and I," Peter automatically corrected.

"Oh look, now poor Remy is all disappointed because Peter stole his line," Sirius snickered.

Remus looked annoyed. "Don't call me Remy. And that's not fair, to have the two quidditch players on the same team."

"Why not?" Sirius asked.

"Then I get Peter," James said at the same time.

"Why do I have to be stuck with the one who has to plan before he does anything?" Sirius moaned theatrically.

"What is it now, pick on Remus day?" Remus asked.

"Oh, now that's a good idea," James said. "On Sirius' birthday it's 'pick on Remus day'."

"Now I'm sorry I even brought that up," Remus muttered.

"You should be," Sirius said randomly.

"What? That made absolutely no sense," Remus said.

"Everything I say makes sense," Sirius said, pretending to be offended.

"Point two to Sirius," James suddenly said. "for confusing Remy's logical mind." He and Sirius snickered.

"Are we going to stand in the rain arguing all day, or are we actually going to play?" Peter asked finally.

"Good point," James said, and mounting his broom, kicked off. "Perfect flying weather," he called down, hidden by the fog. "Come on up."

Remus appeared next to him, sitting on a hovering broomstick. "If this is perfect flying weather, what's-"

"Balls out!" Sirius announced. A moment later, he flew up with Peter. "Your bat," reminded Sirius, throwing a wooden bat in James' direction.

By practice or luck, James managed to catch it.

"This is crazy, playing quidditch in the rain," he said to Peter, who feverently agreed.

"Let's hope it's a quick game," Peter said.

"Okay, ready, start!" James yelled in his quidditch captain voice.

"I thought it was go, not start?" Sirius asked.

"Who cares?" Suddenly, two bludgers were flying all over the quidditch field.

"Um." Remus caught sight of a levitating quaffle, and grabbing it, he flew toward a goal post. He was intercepted by a bludger, and was forced to drop it. "How are you supposed to fly carrying a ball!" he yelled at no one in particular.

"I don't know," a voice called back- it sounded a bit like Sirius. "But we have to carry bats with us all the time!"

"Ha!" James yelled, appearing out of the mist. "Ten points to us!" Peter had scored a goal while Remus was distracted.

"What kind of keeper are you, anyway?" Sirius appeared near Remus' elbow. Remus jumped about ten feet and nearly fell off his broom.

"Well, any." James suddenly dived, not finishing his sentence. Sirius streaked after him.

"Oh, there they go," Remus muttered. Then both he and Peter were distracted by the bludgers, which had decided to attack the people not moving.

The game took an hour, in which the rain had cleared and the sun came out. All four boys were properly wet and muddy.

"Well," Sirius said, after he had landed. "We should do that again."

Remus and Peter groaned. "Accio quaffle!" James pronounced, and dropped the last of the balls into the crate.

"You know," Sirius said thoughtfully, "It really was the most perfect storm."

Two days later, at the Halloween feast.

This feast the headmaster had decided to use menus, a spell that had been newly invented. No one knew quite what to do, so all eyes were on Dumbledore as he picked up his menu and looked through it. Then, putting it down, he said quite clearly, "Roast beef."

Everyone stared in amazement as a something appeared on his plate.a toilet seat.

THE END