DISCLAIMER: I am now in full custody of Nuriko's right arm! Mouse-chan, when's my first visiting day, huh huh huh? (Honestly, what do you think?)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Plots 3 is finally here! At last, after a good two weeks of work and spell-checking (although I know I missed something, I always do) and proofing and whatnot, I'm done! And now here it is for you, my lovely minions! Mwa ha ha ha! Oooookay, too much Halloween candy for Kaze-chan -_-;;

All right. This chapter is fairly serious stuff. OK, very serious. Not like it wasn't already, but here... you'll see.

Sorry about the structure at the end and if it's confusing. It was inspired by the choral odes in Oedipus Rex, the play we're doing in Drama. You're not really supposed to know who's speaking, or even if it's only one person. Good luck.

And everyone, if you know Mouse-chan, she deserves MUCH praise. I wrote her in a near-panic when I started this chapter, and she helped me above and beyond the call of duty. Still is, as a matter of fact. This might not even be written yet if she hadn't helped. So repeat after me, class: THANK YOU MOUSE-CHAN!

Please please please please PLEASE review my story. I know it's hard with ff.n on the fritz so much lately, but try? Please? For me?

And now, on with the story...



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Four days. It had been four days since we'd brought Nuriko from his grave of snow and ice to lie beside Chiriko in the palace. At a glance at my companions I could tell we had done the right thing: the fire of Tasuki's temper was back, Chichiri smiled more, and Hotohori looked less strained. I could even feel myself getting better as well. That time, at least, I had been able to do something right.

Chichiri, Tasuki, and I went back out to the battlefield later that same afternoon. Hotohori was still being contained by his advisors. I would not pity the men when heika-sama grew fed up with them and went out anyway.

Truthfully, we could have used his help. Hotohori had put us in charge of the army in all but name, but seeing him fight would have helped the troops even more. Tasuki was proving himself to be a brilliant general, spotting trouble and holes in our defense quickly and sending the appropriate troops to block it. He was stretching our supply of men as far as they would go, and then farther, and somehow it always worked. The Kutou had not been able to get through to the city proper; most of the fighting was taking place in the fields surrounding the city. But that in and of itself was bad enough, as crops were being destroyed and the farmers who lived outside the city wall were being caught in the fighting. I had set up a temporary infirmary near the battle, just inside the wall in a spare courtyard no one seemed to be using, and left Chichiri in charge of it with the woman Emiko as his aide. Tasuki had recruited me to lead a contingent of troops half the time, and for once I wanted to fight. The soldiers were just regular men, but behind them, manipulating them like puppets were the corrupt generals and other officers, and the Kutou heika himself.

And behind them all, Nakago.

No one had a doubt that this was what Nakago had been aiming for the entire time he persecuted and tormented us. He could want nothing less than the destruction of Konan. He seemed to prefer watching the battle from atop a cliff or some other out of the way vantage point, smiling cruelly at our gradually thinning troops and our ever-more desperate situation. Occasionally we'd catch a glimpse of him on his horse, in full imperial armor, riding behind the troops and surveying the battle. By his side there was always a small figure we assumed was Suboshi, and there was another dark shape before him in the saddle, draped as if lifeless. Occasionally a gust of wind would swirl the figure's long hair around itself. I assumed that the body was Soi's. She'd taken the sword Tasuki had thrown to save Nakago, and we'd all seen her die. But I couldn't understand why he still had her with him. He was supposed to be as icy as his eyes, concerned only with himself and his goals. Could there actually be feelings under that shell?

The battle was raging, cresting at the third peak of the day, as the troops charged each other recklessly, swinging as if possessed by demons of war. I pushed my horse through them, swinging at my opponents to keep them back, the specially-trained giant of a horse, the only one they had large enough to carry me, rearing once in awhile to drive foes away with his hooves. Tasuki and I were both mounted on these special horses, the horses with the type of training usually only given to the highest commanders' mounts. They were one blessing in this miserable war; we were able to get pretty much anywhere we needed to be within seconds, as they simply kicked their way through the crowds of soldiers. And at the moment I needed to be somewhere else.

I saw light glinting off a mirror in a flashing code, the person holding the mirror perched on a rise near the city wall that set him about four feet above the fighting, but far enough away to be out of danger himself. The speck of fire-colored hair identified the signaler. With our seishi powers and communications gone, the three of us had worked out a set of signals with mirrors that we could use to call to each other. The light flashed again, and again, in varying lengths each time. The horse I rode seemed to know where to go, and kicked and reared his way through the fighting to the ridge, reaching it in a third of the time one soldier would have taken.

I let him carry me a little more away from the combat before jumping off and running back to Tasuki. "What is it?" Even I had to shout to be heard above the clash of arms and the screams of pain below us.

Tasuki pulled me down to his level and yelled into my ear. "We've got to think of a new plan! Half my fucking men are gone! We can't continue like this, it's suicide!"

"I know! What other options do we have?"

He shrugged helplessly. "Damned if I know! If we move people to one end, we lose the other! If we spread out any more, we'll leave holes! I'm running out of options!"

A new horse galloped out of the city gates and carried its rider closer to us, the distinct hair and clothing becoming evident after a few seconds. "Chichiri's coming! He may have an idea!" Tasuki nodded, unwilling to use his voice just to affirm a statement.

The noise seemed to grow louder as we waited for Chichiri to arrive, closer. I looked down and saw the battle had indeed moved closer to our position. It would be on us soon. Without waiting to ask permission I grabbed Tasuki's arm and dragged him at a run down the other side of the rise, ignoring the loud, graphic protests that could still be heard clearly over the other sounds. I didn't care, there was no way the one holding our defense together would be a target during a conference.

We waited at the bottom of the embankment, and soon after Chichiri topped the rise and skidded down to us. The noise was somewhat muffled now and we were able to talk without shouting. "What is it no da? I've got to get back soon, we've got a multiple fracture in the infirmary no da!" I hid a smile. I'd picked well when I put Chichiri in charge of the infirmary in my place.

Tasuki was possibly looking grimmer than I'd ever seen him. "We're getting torn to shit out there. We're losing too many men and not replacing them fast enough. Pretty soon they'll punch through our wall." He managed to sigh and groan at the same time. "And half these guys won't listen to me. They don't know effective defense! You wanna win, you gotta surprise the enemy! They use stuff every shitheaded minor commander from here to Hokkan knows! BAKA!"

"Calm down Tasuki, no da," Chichiri said. "What do you-"

"TASUKI-SAMA!" An adolescent voice split the air around us. I looked up to see a young boy of about thirteen or so, his hair ripped out of its customary bun, his clothes tattered, fall over the top of the rise and roll and stumble down to us. He quickly picked himself up at the bottom and watched us with wide, half-terrified eyes. "Tasuki-sama! Hagino-sama sent me! He said to tell you the Kutou are about to break through and get to the gate!"

"FUCK!" Tasuki spun and ran back up the embankment, not pausing to look back. Chichiri and I raced after him, the dirt flying behind us as we scrambled to the top, leaving the boy in the safety of cover, looking terrified.

The scene below us was even more hopeless than it had been only a few minutes before. The men were slaughtering each other, brutally swinging with sword and knives and other weapons of destruction, fighting simply to stay alive. It was impossible to tell who was friend and who was foe in that melee. The ground was stained red with the spilled blood of the fallen, men were being visibly trampled as they fell, no one helping them because to do so was suicide. It made me sick simply looking at it, but I couldn't turn away.

Tasuki didn't seem to be fazed, but scanned the wall for the problem area. It became painfully obvious: about a hundred feet away, a large shape, plainly Captain Hagino, was literally pressed between the wall and three attacking soldiers, most of his men lying scattered nearby, a few still managing to stand and hold the defense. Hagino might have been one of the former commanders most opposed to Tasuki's lead, but he could still fight. But they couldn't hold out for long.

Tasuki cursed again and spun, looking at the boy. "Go find heika-sama! At the palace! Tell him about this, use the back way!" He pointed at the one spot we'd been able to keep the Kutou away, one solitary gate that was our only entrance and exit. My infirmary was there. The boy gulped and nodded, eyes as wide as saucers, and ran. Tasuki returned to watching the battlefield, shouting orders at various people, trying to shuffle troops quickly to plug the hole that would soon appear.

That's when I felt it.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




I began yelling commands at the top of my lungs, shouting at anyone who could hear me, gesturing almost madly to emphasize where the soldiers were to go. "ARITA! GET YOUR FUCKING MEN OVER THERE TO BLOCK THAT ENTRANCE! SASSA! SEND HALF YOUR MEN WITH HIM, HALF TO HAGINO!" The soldiers defending a fairly solid part of the wall split, flowing to either direction to help their belabored comrades. We might get through this. We just might. If we could get a miracle….

"WATCH OUT NO DA!"

A pulsating ball of blue lightening flew past me, blinding me and making lights flicker through my mind. Suddenly I felt a deep impact on my chest, a not-quite pain that nevertheless seemed to burn me to the core. At the same instant there was a deep yell of pain beside me, and I dimly registered a large body - too large, Suzaku no, damnit, you can't do this to us! - fly past me, rolling a few feet down the embankment and lying still.

"MITSUKAKE!" My vision cleared instantly and Chichiri and I ran down the embankment, tripping over our own feet several times, clutching our chests, the not-quite pain still very much with us. "Mitsukake! Mitsukake! Wake up! Speak to us!" Kneeling next to him, Chichiri tried to make his newest patient answer him, his voice growing ever more desperate with every word. "SPEAK TO ME!" I stood behind Chichiri, grasping his shoulders with a grip like iron, every fiber of my being denying what my eyes saw before me. It couldn't be, it just fucking couldn't be…

The large healer's eyes, normally so closed to us, fluttered open briefly, closing again as he let out a low groan of pain. My spirits soared. That one little sound, that one little movement, and we knew he was alive. He was still with us. We hadn't lost him like we'd lost Nuriko, Chiriko. He'd get better under Chichiri's care and the four of us, Hotohori included, would make it out of this hell hole of war…

There was a jingling behind me and I whirled, drawing my sword and tessen, holding one in each hand in the practiced fighting stance that had been drilled into me with the bandits. There was no way anything would get to Mitsukake and Chichiri without going through me first, and there was also no way I'd let it get through me. However, when I saw what waited behind our backs, I felt the color run out of my face. We were all dead… If he wanted, we were all dead…

Nakago, his face hidden except for his ice-blue eyes, sat on his horse, tall and straight as if he was the most powerful man in the world. Which he was. And he knew it. His hand was raised in front of him, fingers spread in a bizarre interpretation of the pose Mitsukake took when he was healing, but the Kutou shogun's reasons held nothing of compassion or mercy the Suzaku seishi possessed. I knew, under that hood, he was permitting himself a small, malicious smile. Soi's body was still draped over the saddle in front of him, and he had his other arm behind her back, supporting her, holding the reigns with his free hand. Next to him Suboshi stood, ryuseisui dangling from his fingers, grinning wolfishly. He looked more bloodthirsty than I had ever seen anyone before, even in my time as a bandit. And I had seen some damn bloodthirsty people then. We were dead, and I knew it.

"The Suzaku no shichiseishi… How pathetic. Perhaps I should just end it for you now, spare you the humiliation." His extended hand began to glow with a blue light that started pale but rapidly grew to almost blinding proportions. I tensed myself to jump in front of my friends, ready to take the blast myself.

Then it was raining - raining arrows! Nakago twisted to the left and brought his glowing hand in front of his face, just in time to project a domed barrier around himself and his fellow seishi, living and dead. The arrows glanced off the barrier, showering on each side in waves deflected too far away to put us in much danger. I hit the ground as one shot past my head, then looked for it and felt my mouth drop open. That carving, that fletching…

"Knock knock. Who's there? It's Koji. Koji who? Genrou's friend, come to help out his old buddy." That familiar routine was our saving grace. Koji's cocky smile was aimed at Nakago, daring him to do his worst. He leaned on one knee and smirked down at the scene from his position on the highest end of the rise, a good ten feet above us. Behind his ranged each and every bandit from Mt. Reikaku, up to and including Eiken. Each of them was armed to the teeth and wore the bandits' special armor.

"KOJI!" I couldn't help being thrilled to see my oldest friend in the world. We weren't dead, Mitsukake was coming back to himself, and Koji was there. What could go wrong now?!

Nakago let his shield die. "Konan commoners. How… quaint. I grow tired of this, let's leave, Suboshi." He whirled his large war horse and cantered away, the dark blonde figure at his side running next to him easily, occasionally glaring back at our reunion with indescribable malice.

Hell, I didn't care about them anymore. They were gone. Koji and the rest of the bandits spilled over the rise from all directions. Three of the strongest went to Chichiri at Koji's motion to help him move the wounded Mitsukake to his infirmary, while Koji jumped down the ten feet to the ground, landing easily and still smirking at us. I felt my grin widening in return and ran to him, grabbing him by the elbow and swinging him around, the two of us dancing like little kids and laughing like idiots. "Good ta see ya!" "You too ya idiot!" "Why're ya talkin' about yerself again?"

I heard Chichiri groan. "Tasuki no baka na no da…"



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




The pain had come suddenly in the middle of the meeting. I had doubled over myself, falling out of my throne and sprawling on the floor, the crown I had pushed my hair under falling off and rolling under the table. I was carried to my room, despite feeling better - and completely normal - almost immediately. My advisors were attempting to hold me down by my arms and legs, which would have amused me greatly if I hadn't wanted to get up so badly. Finally I simply kicked them off and ran to the throne room, my mostly elderly ministers following at the much slower pace they could muster, knowing that if something had happened, I would be looked for there at first.

"Heika-sama! Heika-sama!" My reasoning had proved right. The door burst open and a small form nearly flew in the doors, dodging the guards who were attempting to keep it back. The blur was much more agile, though, and wasn't weighed down by armor. The guards swung occasionally, cursing often, but only hitting the floor or the walls. Suddenly I was hit in the torso by the running child, knocking me back into the dais. He stumbled with me, but seemed to figure out who I was. He looked up at me with large, frightened eyes, visibly clenching his jaw. "I've got a message from Tasuki-sama!"

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" One of the guards was charging at him, ceremonial spear raised. The boy ran again to avoid the weapon. I ducked under the point and punched the man in the stomach, my temper short and about to snap. He doubled over, clutching his stomach, falling to his knees almost overly-dramatically.

I rubbed my hand, not being used to hand-to-hand combat as Tamahome and Tasuki were, glaring at him. "You are the one who should be ashamed." I made sure to put all of my royal disdain and shame into my voice. Anyone who would chase a child just for bringing a message did not deserve to be part of my personal guard. I glanced at the second guard, who had backed nervously into a corner, with carefully narrowed eyes, giving him a look that was equally venomous and condemning as I pointed at the slumped man. "Remove him. We do not require his services any longer." He quickly nodded, obviously frightened out of his mind, and ran to his companion, helping him stand and whispering to him. Once he cast a fearful look at me, but I kept my eyes hard until the two of them limped out of the room in the direction of the barracks.

A timid whimper drew my attention, and I looked back over my shoulder to see the boy peering slightly around the curtain he'd hidden behind and drawn tightly around himself, as if that would make him disappear. I sighed and beckoned to him, rubbing at my temple as the beginnings of a headache echoed through my skull. "Don't be afraid boy, we won't harm you."

He slowly crept out, and I could tell my initial impression had been wrong. He was more adolescent than boy, a scrawny twelve or thirteen years old, short and almost stunted in growth. His clothes were mere rags, his hair mussed around his head. He reminded me somewhat of Tamahome's younger brother Chuei, only with different hair and a smaller build. There was fire in those eyes.

"Gomen nasai, heika-sama. I caused trouble. But Tasuki-sama sent me to tell you something, and he didn't give it to me in writing. I think they thought I was trying to break in." He kneeled respectfully, still taking deep breaths to replace the air he'd lost in the chase.

I shook my head again. "We will worry about why later, for now just tell us the message." I sat down on the uncomfortable throne again, certain I looked the worst I ever had during official business.

The boy nodded and bowed his head again, clearing his throat. "My name is Michio; I'm a farmer's son. Hagino-sama chose me for his new messenger after his was killed because I can run fast." I hid a smile. Hagino had certainly chosen well. "Just a little ago Hagino-sama sent me to Tasuki-sama to tell him troops were about to break through his defenses and get to the gate. When Tasuki-sama heard this he told me to come tell you, then began moving men around and managed to get the gate blocked. I'm not sure what's happened since I left, but that was the last I saw." He remained kneeling and looking at the floor, explaining everything succinctly. Perhaps he could be of more use than another farmer…

I dragged my mind back to the present and smiled at him, the emperor's smile, but still heartfelt. "Well done Michio. The news is greatly appreciated." I turned and beckoned to the shadows behind the dais, and an attendant appeared seemingly from nowhere and bowed low. "See that Michio receives food and drink before sending him back to Hagino. And see if there is a need for him under the captain of the guard when this war is over."

"H-h-heika-sama?"

I smiled at the boy again. "Do not worry."

"I-I won't… arigato, heika-sama!" I nodded as they walked off, the attendant leading the slightly stunned boy, who kept glancing back at me with wide eyes.

I waited until they turned the corner in the direction of the kitchen before letting myself slump almost out of my throne. The memory of the not-quite pain came rushing back to me, and I pressed my hand against my chest, exactly at the place I had felt it. What had that been? I knew it was nothing the matter with my own body, but that left only one other option I refused to think much about. If one of them had been hurt…

Almost two hours later came my answer, as I heard the clatter of hooves outside the door in the courtyard and two loud, enthusiastic voices exclaiming wildly as tack jingled in the background. There was a slight pause before the doors flew open, banging against the walls as the hinges let out great cries of protest. The familiar fire-colored head appeared, as well as a slate blue one about the same height that looked somewhat familiar. Tasuki and his friend were laughing at each other, obviously relieved as well as teasing. Tasuki kneeled and pulled his friend down next to him, and then I recognized the other man: Koji, the only bandit from Mt. Reikaku who'd remained with Tasuki when he'd taken back leadership of the bandits, and, if I remembered right, the one who'd taken command when Tasuki had come to join us. Tasuki stood again, but Koji remained kneeling respectfully, keeping his eyes down, waiting for Tasuki to present him. Not behavior I'd expect from a bandit, but it did him credit.

"Heika-sama, perhaps you remember-" Tasuki's eyes were dancing wickedly, and I wondered if he'd given Koji fair warning "-the leader of the Mt. Reikaku bandits, Koji?"

"Huh? 'Perhaps he remembers?' Where'd ya get that Genrou, I've never seen him before in…" he trailed off as he looked up, his mouth slowly dropping open and his eyes widening to saucer-like proportions. I hid a smile. Tasuki didn't bother, grinning as wide as I'd ever seen him, his fangs adding a touch of maliciousness to his expression. He was taking much pleasure in Koji's reaction.

Koji leaped to his feet and grabbed Tasuki by the collar of his shirt, shaking the younger man violently. "IDJET! Why didn't ya fuckin' TELL me he was the EMPEROR?!"

Tasuki wrenched away, smirking at him. "Because ya'd never believe me, and ya know it." I just sat in my throne, right elbow propped on the arm, my face hiding with my right hand, laughing silently.

Koji whacked him upside the head with his open head, more a warning than a blow. "Ya get KILLED fer doin' stuff like that to someone like him! I.DON'T. WANT. TO. BE. KILLED!"

"If you two are finished?"

Koji abruptly dropped his friend and knelt again, bowing his slate-blue head low, almost seeming to hide beneath hair nearly as wild as Tasuki's. "Heika-sama, I represent the bandits of Mt. Reikaku. We've come to offer our services and fight in the army." Tasuki kneeled next to him, subconsciously reclaiming his place among their ranks. "Ge- Tasuki's agreed to be our commander, since he doesn't have a unit of his own." He looked up at me again, eyes steely hard, determined as his redheaded friend and just as stubborn. He would be a formidable foe on the battlefield. "Sire, the bandits of Mt. Reikaku pledge their assistance!"

I stood suddenly, drawing myself up to my full height, knowing I presented myself every inch the emperor as Koji's eyes widened minimally again, then narrowed to normal. Tasuki was also watching me, eyes narrowed slightly, wary, as if I was a cat about to spring. "We accept your pledge of service. Prepare your Reikaku unit! You shall join the others tomorrow. Now, Tasuki." I motioned for him to stand, relaxing my posture, stepping down from the dais, becoming the seishi I was at heart again. He stood, his face a mixture of apprehension and understanding. I almost smiled; he never had been good at hiding his emotions. I pushed away the thought. I had to know… "Tasuki… today… in battle… what happened?"

He'd known what I was going to ask. A flash of pain chased across his face, but he schooled his features into a neutral expression. "Right after I sent that kid to you… We three were up there, directing the men, and then… Nakago…" He paused for a moment, looking down and taking a deep, shuddering breath. "Nakago came out of nowhere, and Mitsukake…"

I winced, closing my eyes and gripping his shoulder lightly. "How is he?"

"That woman - Emiko, I think - is watching over him, along with Chichiri. They say as long as he rests he should hold out until he gets his powers back and can cure himself. But… he's in a lot of pain…"

I bowed my head slightly, my free hand slowly clenching into a loose fist. The Kutou shogun would not go unpunished for this newest wound to my friends. Even as I stood there I could feel a slight, dull pain, from the same place I felt I had been wounded earlier, that I hadn't let myself feel before. It was Mitsukake's. And I welcomed it. Because as long as it was there, it meant he was still with us.



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For the first day he'd simply lain on the long pallet that had been brought for him, heavily sedated, while the doctors and I bandaged and rebandaged his wound. There was a circle a handspan's wide and half as deep in the middle of his torso, right below his lungs and over his stomach. The flesh around the circle for two inches had been charred, burned to something you'd never want to see on human skin. The darkness gradually faded away from the circle, first to brown, then tan, then to his normal bronzed skin. He was obviously in pain when he breathed, taking in short, shallow gasps, never holding them long. Either Emiko or I was always next to him, keeping a close eye on him and occasionally having to force some food or water on him. The bandages were changed often, and we took turns spreading less than fragrant yet immensely helpful salves on the wound. I forced myself to not look away from it, disgusting as it looked. How anyone could live through that was beyond my imagination, but I was grateful - eternally grateful he'd stayed.

The next day, Tasuki led his bandit friends out to the battlefield, and I could hear the odds tipping dramatically in our favor. I didn't know what they were doing, and I didn't want to know. But whatever it was worked; the Kutou officers were much more panicked. I found myself smiling grimly on more than one occasion, then having to force myself to concentrate on the patients again.

Three days after Nakago's attack Mitsukake was awake and coherent, though still very weak. We continued changing his bandages, spreading more salves on the wound, and had him move his arms and legs a bit to make sure they all still worked. Thankfully he hadn't been paralyzed by the blast of blue ki, but the change in his demeanor worried me. He had always been quiet, a half-contented, half-sad quiet, which I took for the loss of his love, Shoka. Now he was still quiet, but it was pensive, desperate. Many times I'd glance at him to see him watching me longingly, the look hidden to all but those of us who knew him closely. I made sure to keep a close watch on him, in case he decided to disobey our orders and take care of the patients. We had more than enough doctors to watch everyone, and he would be a much greater help after he was healed. I pulled Emiko to the side after one such instance and told her not to let him set one foot flat on the ground. She simply nodded, an expression of complete understanding on her features, before returning to tend to my friend.

Mitsukake's infirmary was growing by the hour. Refugees constantly trickled through the gates, many carrying wounded with them. We took the injured and placed them on pallets that had been unrolled on the floors of the buildings surrounding the original courtyard, let the others rest for a bit before sending them closer to the center of the city and the palace. A communal kitchen had been started by some of the women who had wanted to help but had no more than basic nursing skills, cooking kettles of soup over small fires that dotted the ground everywhere in the courtyard now. It seemed that the broth was the first warm food most of these people had seen in days. It ripped my heart into pieces to see my countrymen suffering. I prayed for the war to soon end every moment I could spare.

Five days after Mitsukake was wounded, one of the cooks asked me to go get more vegetables from the palace stores, as I was the only one guaranteed access. Something in me told me not to go, but I couldn't ignore the dirt-streaked faces of the hungry children that rested against the walls of the buildings. I commandeered a horse and galloped through the streets of Eiyo as quickly as I could, dodging habitant and refugee alike, even going so far as to jump some people sleeping in one of the back alleys. The guards opened the gate when they saw me coming, recognizing me even from a distance. I rode through and past the stables, cutting time by going straight to the kitchen. Jumping off the horse outside the doors, I tossed the reigns at one of the kitchen boys and raced inside. The head cook saw me and began shouting directions to two of his helpers, who ran in different directions to get my usual amount of required supplies while I fidgeted with impatience. I didn't wait for a bag when they brought me what I asked for, simply gathered the things in my arms, ran through the door, and vaulted on the horse again. My ride back was somewhat more controlled, as I had to be sure not to lose any of the food I had been sent for, but I made up for it by pushing the horse faster on the straight-aways. I apologized to the poor horse when I arrived back at the infirmary and returned it to its master, then sped through the entrance to the courtyard.

What I had feared had come true. Mitsukake was off his pallet, moving and tending to the patients. I cast a quick glance around for Emiko, not seeing her and wondering how she could let this happen against my express orders, then practically threw the supplies at one of the cooks and ran to my friend, who was kneeling next to one of the patients, surround by three women who obviously thought they were being helpful.

"Mitsukake! Mitsukake! You have to rest no da!" I knelt next to him, pleading with him silently to listen to me and return to his pallet, get rest so he could help as he wanted.

He ignored me, kept tying a bandage on the patient's arm. "Put your hand here, hold it steady," he said to one of the woman, who complied.

"Mitsukake!"



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




I silently shook my head, refusing to listen to him, refusing to rest while there were still wounded. "There, you'll be fine soon," I said to the frightened boy I was tending, smiling gently at him.

"Mitsukake!" Chichiri pulled on my arm, trying to get me to move in the direction of my pallet. "You need rest! Please go lie down no da! You'll only make yourself worse this way!"

"Chichiri, I can't." My eyes filled with silent tears. Didn't he understand? "I'm a doctor. I can't rest until everyone is seen to." I hadn't been able to save Shoka… or Chiriko, who'd died so we might live… or Nuriko, the one who'd sacrificed himself so we could continue on. I'd failed in my profession, failed them. If there was even a chance I could save just one of these people before me now, and I hadn't taken it because I'd been resting, I could never forgive myself. "Nuriko… Chiriko… I wasn't able to save them…" I felt the tears spill over at the thought of my two friends, both with so much to look forward to in life.

"But what use will you be to these people here if you kill yourself doing this no da?!" The monk sounded more desperate, and depressed, than I'd ever heard him. Why would he take this, something I had to do, so seriously? I wasn't feeling pain, though I suspected it was due to the drugs I knew they were putting in my tea. I felt weak, yes, but I could walk. I could save these people as long as I could walk…

"Shoka! Shoka! Just hold on, Shoka!" My head turned in the direction of the cry, as did Chichiri's. A young couple, neither older than myself, were running down the road in our direction, looks of complete desperation on their faces. The woman, who'd been the one crying out, held a small bundle in her arms, which she never took her eyes off of. The man guided her by her elbow, helplessness shining in his eyes. I recognized them, refugees from a nearby town we'd sent on barely fifteen minutes before. But now they were back… And that name…

I pushed myself slowly to my feet and stepped off the veranda where I'd been seeing the patients, wincing slightly as the wound pulled against my muscles. "What seems to be the problem?" I asked, keeping my voice completely professional, not letting the thought that had sprung to my mind into my tone. Shoka, they'd said… Shoka…

"Doctor! It's our daughter! She stopped breathing!" The woman quickly handed me the bundle of dark brown blanket as I again kneeled on the pebbly ground. A baby girl was wrapped up inside, looking as if she were peacefully sleeping - but no breath was being drawn in or out. "Please doctor! Help her!"

I froze. I could do nothing. My seishi powers were gone. This wasn't something I could cure by normal doctoring. I was helpless. And it was all so familiar… The girl looked startlingly like her, a much younger version of the girl I'd met at the age of twelve, played with joyfully, had been comforted by at seventeen when my family had been swept away in the enormous floods that year. The woman I'd grown to love… and lose. Twice. I couldn't let it happen a third time.

"I don't know what I can do for her," I said quietly, not able to look the girl's parents in the eyes. My hand strayed to a pouch at my belt, and I unconsciously opened it. Only when my fingers brushed against what was inside did I realize what my body was telling me. I pulled the small jar out of the pouch and gazed at it for what seemed to be an eternity, but was really no longer than a breath. "I'll give her this healing water…" I began to shift, to hand the child back to her mother so I could open the jar, but stopped. I'd lost my seishi powers. I might have lost the power of the water I carried as well. Could I really offer these people false hope? If this was indeed Shoka, could I kill her again with uncertain methods?

No. I could never.

I wrapped my arms more firmly around the little girl's blanket, bracing myself on my left knee, making sure my right foot was planted firmly on the ground. It wouldn't do to fall on the girl after my strength left me. I drew in a deep breath and turned my mind inward, flew into the inner portion of my soul, the place where I could feel my seishi powers emerge from when I had performed my healings. I tried to break down the barriers that prevented me from going to them, the glowing, blue barriers that stopped me from saving lives.

"Mistukake! Don't! MITSUKAKE!" Chichiri's voice came from far away. I willed myself to ignore the man who had been my closet friend since Shoka had died, intent on saving the girl. I was dimly aware of a pair of arms throwing themselves around me. My eyes weren't working right, even though they were open, but I could faintly detect a green glow coloring the air around me. "MITSUKAKE!"



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




"Sire! The troops are overrunning us! We simply don't have enough men!" I was desperate. Koji and I knelt before the Emperor - in that setting, it was impossible to think of Hotohori as anything but the ruler of our country - giving our grim report. The casualties, though not as astounding as they had been five days earlier, were still horrible. Many, many good men would never be returning home again.

Hotohori knew this; his eyes were narrowed in grief as well as contemplation. There was no worthier ruler to die for, I knew, and by now all my bandits knew as well. "Are you sure there is nothing we can do?"

"Sire," Koji spoke up next to me, "we're doin' our best, we really are, but there's just too damn many of them." I elbowed him for not watching his language, even though I was probably the last person in the world who should do that, but he just ignored me. "If we had two, maybe three more groups of bandits, we'd have a damn better chance, but the way thin's are now…"

We both shot to our feet as Hotohori abruptly stood. "Then I shall go out and command the troops."

"But heika-sama!" The required councilor, who always had to be present at military reports to take down the records, squawked from behind Hotohori's throne, nearly dropping his brush in surprise.

"I am through listening to the council's advice. It's only getting my men killed." Hotohori was unusually harsh. I noticed dimly that he'd dropped the royal plural. Now he wasn't just angry. He was severely pissed off.

Then-



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




I'd never felt more like strangling someone than at the moment the councilor raised his voice in protest. He, and most of his kind, were cowards, politicians who'd been comfortably ensconced in padded chairs for most of their careers, thinking what they did was "right for the country." To be fair, most of the time it was, but now was not "most of the time." Now there was a war. And for them to be protesting…

I was not trained for that. I had learned from my late parents the best way to rule was through experience. I'd spent time training with the army. I was fit to lead men in battle, and had done so before. I would not just sit here, safe in my throne room, because they wanted me to remain. My way, whatever happened would be my victory - or my defeat. I would have my friends with me, Tasuki to help me command, the bandit Koji, proving himself ever more capable, beside him, Chichiri, our strong pillar, and Mitsukake, when he'd recovered. How dare they say I would not go out to fight when I had protection, and friends, such as these?

Then-



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




"MITSUKAKE!"

My voice ripped across the still air, drawing all attention to gaze at us. I was holding on to him as if he were a lifeline and I a drowning man, though it was the other way around. But he didn't respond, said nothing, staring up at the sky above us, cradling the little girl in his arms, the girl who bore his dead lover's name. His eyes were vacant, as if his soul no longer lived in that body. He neither moved nor seemed to breathe, but I knew what he was doing, knew with a certainly all too painful what he was planning, hoping against hope I was wrong and knowing I wasn't, calling him silently, calling him back, back to us, back to me, back to himself-



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Then it happened, all too quickly for me to understand



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




The light came, in front of me, but there was something there, stopping me



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




I could see it, blocking the way, preventing me from its prisoner



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Feel it, push it down, free what's trapped inside



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




It was me, that blocked light



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Inside me, with me



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Myself, my soul



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Break the barrier



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Call him



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Tasuki



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Hotohori



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Chichiri



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Release the power



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Flood the world



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Save



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




He wasn't



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




No



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Tears



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




He couldn't



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




No



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Burst forth



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Healing



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Dying



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Giving



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Forgetting



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




NO!



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Couldn't



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Leaving



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Wasn't



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




NO!



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




"MITSUKAKE!"



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Shoka… I'm coming…