CHAPTER FIVE :The Willow Chapter
Wesley kept vigil as Angel quietly slept. Angel was still running a fever and suffered sporadic fits of incoherent hallucinations but it seemed, for the moment, he had finally settled.
Wesley was hopeful that the worst for his friend was finally over. He was sure that Angel could not continue to suffer in the way that he had been. Wesley prayed to whatever God he thought may be listening that it was only a matter of time before Angel recovered from the poison that had run rampant through his system and returned to the land of the living, (in the proverbial sense of course), any time soon.
It was eerily quiet in Angel's room. Wesley had been alone in his watcher duties for the past couple of hours while Cordelia and Fred were hopefully now sleeping in the rooms nearby and Gunn had taken on the responsibility of patrolling keeping LA safe from the demon undesirables.
Wesley placed the book he had been reading against his lap and looked up at the peaceful chiselled features of his fallen comrade. Standing from his chair, the book falling to the floor, Wesley stretched his tired limbs. They were stiff and ached from the amount of time he had spent sitting stationery in one position. He moved to the bed and carefully checked the bandages covering Angel's wounds. Angel flinched and stirred in his sleep, as Wesley gently touched the skin surrounding the puncture wounds feeling Angel's increased body temperature through his fingertips.
Wesley bathed and redressed Angel's injuries with clean bandages and moved into the kitchen to retrieve a supply of blood. He had been feeding Angel with a diluted blood broth every four hours, encouraged by the response Angel had initially shown with Cordelia when first injured. After making up his latest batch, Wesley returned to the bedroom and sat on the edge of Angel's bed. Slowly, he lifted Angel's head and placed the cup of warmed liquid to his mouth. Angel drank without too much effort although never leaving his state of unconsciousness.
Wesley placed the now empty cup on the nightstand and resumed his place in the leather bound chair at the side of the bed. He sighed heavily. He didn't know how much more he could do to help his vampire friend. Wesley smirked at that last thought and was presented with a sudden sense of irony.
Vampire.
Friend.
Two words that he never thought that he would ever put together in relation to himself, yet here he was gladly willing to trade places with the man lying desperately ill before him because Angel was his friend. His best friend. And a vampire.
Wesley leaned back in the chair resting his weary head against its high back. He was too weary to return to reading so he simply closed his eyes and allowed his memories to wash over him.
He remembered that it was not too long ago that Angel had been in a very similar position to the one he was in now only it was Buffy and her former watcher, Rupert Giles, who had kept vigil over him then. Faith, the rogue slayer, had shot Angel with a poisoned arrow in an attempt to distract Buffy, the true slayer, away from The Mayor, his planned ascension and the end of the world - again. They had desperately sought his help and the help of The Council but there was nothing that he could do. Angel had been moments from being released from his immortality when Buffy had saved him. With her own blood. Slayer blood.
Wesley had not long since arrived from England when it happened. He was on his first assignment from The Council and was all fresh faced and eager to make an impression. He had no knowledge or comprehension of the close knit Sunnydale family he suddenly found himself forced upon, nor did he know how much of an outsider he really was. He did not understand why anyone, let alone a slayer, would freely offer her throat to such a vile creature as a vampire in an attempt to save its life. He just could not understand that kind of loyalty and devotion. As far he was concerned it was a repulsive gesture which defied everything he and The Watchers Council stood for. He knew that Angel was special. He knew that Angel had a soul. He recognised that this unique vampire had even helped to save his own life from a crazed monster named Balthazar, but it made no difference. Wesley Wyndham-Price was taught that vampires and demons were the enemy and there could be absolutely NO exception to that rule.
What a difference time can make. What a naïve fool he had been.
Less than year later, Wesley had found himself in very different circumstances. He had been fired from The Watchers Council for his incompetence and was left in a country thousands of miles from his homeland with no money or prospects. Being involved in the rebellion against The Ascension, albeit for a very, very short time only, inspired Wesley to continue with his calling to destroy demon forces. It was what he was trained to do and he certainly did not want to return to England the failure his father always said he was.
He had run into Angel again as they were pursuing the same demon and they had found a way of working together to rescue Cordelia from being sold at a demon auction. Angel had offered him a job and a chance to find his purpose again. Initially, Wesley once again found that he was an outsider. Angel and Cordelia had just lost a friend by the name of Doyle and they were in no desperate need to replace him in their affections.
Slowly however, a mutual trust and bond had developed between the three of them and that was never more evident than when Voca had appeared and attempted to weaken Angel by taking away everything that was important to him. Cordelia had been struck down by a never-ending vision, which left her completely debilitated. Wesley himself had been badly injured when the Angel Investigations offices had been blown to pieces and he inadvertently had been the trigger. A short time later and with Voca defeated, it was also the time that Angel and his crew had discovered the news of Angel's impending humanity – his Shanshu. The result that came from this ordeal was the realisation that Angel Investigations were not only a business but a family which Gunn and now Fred of course were happily part of.
In the short time Wesley had been in the employ of Angel Investigations, he had felt himself grow in confidence and stature. A possessed little boy and the brief return of Angelus had once questioned his strength of will and his courage in the face of adversity. Yet everything that had happened to him either in Sunnydale or LA had shaped him into the man he was today. Wesley could never describe himself as a hero but he was no longer the coward everyone thought he once was. He owed that to his new family's belief in him and the belief he now found in himself.
As he cast a glance over at the sleeping demon, he knew that he was finally in a place where he belonged with people who cared and needed him as much as he cared and needed them. He didn't want anything, ANYTHING, to change that.
Suddenly, Wesley got the feeling that he wasn't alone. He felt another presence in the room with him, someone other than Angel that is. Cautiously he stood and scanned through the relative darkness. The only light that aided him came from a lamp on Angel's bedside table and so most of the room was cast in shadow.
"Gunn, is that you?", he called warily. He surveyed his surrounding area looking for a potential weapon to use in case the now undoubted presence turned out to be foe rather than friend.
"Relax", he heard an unfamiliar voice call back to him, "I'm not here to hurt 'ya"
From the shadows came a man a little shorter than Wesley, with dark ruffled hair. He looked like he hadn't shaved in days and the clothes he wore looked like they had been slept in more than once.
"Who are you and what do you want?", Wesley said in the direction of the stranger with a dominance in his voice which surprised him considering his weary state. He still was not convinced that this weird little man was not here to harm him or Angel in some way.
The visitor could feel Wesley's apprehension. He got that a lot. Slowly he took a couple of paces forward as Wesley took a couple of paces back. The stranger stopped and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender
"Look, allow me to introduce myself", he said leaning towards Wesley and outstretching his hand, "My name's Doyle. Allen Francis Doyle"
Wesley gulped nervously, "D….D…Doyle as in Angel's d…dead friend Doyle", he murmured taking the hand offered in friendship lightly in his own.
Doyle sighed heavily, "Well if you want to be picky I suppose so yeah", he replied calmly, "But you more than anybody should know that a mortal death on this earth does not necessarily mean the ultimate end"
Wesley nodded. He had read countless recollections of human life beyond death experiences and if his memory served him correctly, Doyle had been half Brachen demon and maybe reincarnation was a normal feature of his breed. Doyle sensed this misunderstanding and corrected him.
"Wes, I've not come back to life man", he explained, "I'm here on behalf of the PTB"
"The PTB?"
"Yep. I'm a wandering spirit, a kind of sentinel if you like. I'm here on a mission".
his piece of information made Wesley even more nervous and a little frightened.
"Have you come to take Angel back with you", Wesley asked mournfully. He did not want to lose his friend and mentor and he was willing to do whatever it took to make a deal with this Doyle character if it meant that Angel would be saved.
Doyle felt frustrated that his presence had been misinterpreted.
"No, no man, that's not why I'm here at all", he said reasoning with Wesley, "I didn't come here in the dead of the night to see Angel. Been there, done that. I came here to see you!"
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Buffy was gone. Out of his sight and out of his touch. Angel wasn't sure whether or not he could deal with that revelation
Angel now found himself seated in a movie theatre surrounded by dozens of hormonal teenagers. He glanced up at the large stereo surround screen in front of him just as a trailer for a forthcoming film was being shown. There was screaming and there was blood and from what he could make out, the film was about a mysterious killer who chose to murder his victims on Valentine's Day of all days.
Angel gave an inverted smirk. He was intrigued by how fascinated the human race seemed to be with violent death. If some of the great Hollywood moguls had witnessed some of the true horrors Angelus had inflicted upon his victims in the height of his reign, then maybe they would not be so quick to display such atrocities to the world in the guise of entertainment. The lead guy wasn't bad looking though, Angel thought, so he was sure to bring in the young female crowd.
Curious about his current location, Angel took a casual look around him and smiled when he caught a glimpse of bright, shiny copper coloured hair sat on the seat to the left of him. He now knew who his next encounter was and also that it was to be with one of his very favourite people.
Willow.
He glanced in her direction again and this time caught her eye. Willow was sitting with a large tub of popcorn on her lap and was popping pieces into her mouth while still managing to smile at him in that infectious way she always did.
"Are you OK Angel?", she said leaning over to whisper in his ear. Angel nodded and accepted a piece of offered popcorn.
"I'm fine Willow, what about you?", he asked in return. It had been a while since he had seen this little redhead and he had forgotten how much he enjoyed her company.
Willow's smile merely broadened in response as she signalled that the film was about to start. Angel had no idea what he was about to let himself in for but settled back in his seat and watched as the credits began to roll for a film entitled 'American Pie'.
A little under two hours later, Willow and Angel were leaving the cinema still smiling at what they had just seen.
"Thank you for coming with me Angel", Willow said as she fastened her coat against the cold, "With Xander and Buffy out of town, I wasn't sure I was going to get anybody to come and see this film with me tonight. I'm glad that it was you"
"My pleasure Will," he replied honestly. Despite his initial reservations Angel had enjoyed the movie. He didn't think he would when he realised he was about to watch an American sex teen comedy, but it had been a light hearted and rather amusing affair and easily took his mind off all that was happening to him and the seriousness of his current predicament.
Willow's mesmerising green eyes shone as she smiled nervously at Angel, both unsure of what the next move should be. Willow lowered her head breaking her gaze looking down at her now shuffling feet.
Angel was suddenly struck by a beauty in Willow that he could never remember seeing before. Willow had changed. She was a far cry from the shy schoolgirl who had dressed in fuzzy jumpers and dabbled with witchcraft. She was still shy, however she had also matured into an incredibly stunning young woman who had gained an elegance, which Angel couldn't help but admire.
Angel found that he was caught in an indecisive moment. His head told him that he should get Willow home safely and away from the dangers of the Sunnydale night breeds. His heart however screamed that he should take this opportunity to spend as much time with Willow as he could, and learn more about the kind of woman Willow had become in the two years since he had seen her last
"Would you like to go for a walk", he asked finally coming to a decision, "It's a nice cool evening, o..or maybe we could go for something to eat, if…if you're hungry that is"
Willow's smile continued as she gently linked her arm through his, "I know this great little place", she replied warmly leading Angel away from the cinema.
As Angel and Willow made their way to their intended destination they talked about all kinds of things. Their conversation swung from college to Cordelia, from demons to dating. Angel couldn't believe how comfortable he felt in Willow's company while Willow couldn't believe how Angel had seemingly transformed from the taciturn shadowy guy she always known to Mr Talkative all of a sudden. She liked the change as she found Angel had a lot of interesting things to say.
When they reached the small yet intimate coffee house, they both chose a table close to the back away from the crowd and the noise of the jukebox. They studied the menu for a while, Willow finally ordering a Pepsi with a lime ice cream float, while Angel preferred a hot chocolate. Angel may no longer have been able to savour the many wonderful flavours that his human taste buds had subjected him to when he was alive for a day, but chocolate was the one taste he would always remember, even if he lived to be a thousand.
"So Angel", Willow said as they received their order, "You haven't told me what you really thought of the film"
"I liked it", Angel replied honestly.
Willow looked at him dubiously, her eyebrows raised to express her disbelief as she stirred the ice cream in her glass and sucked the remnants from her straw.
"I did. Honest", Angel insisted lifting his cup to his mouth only for the whipped cream to stick to his nose, "The band camp girl was a little annoying, although she was really pretty, but overall it was a fun no nonsense film"
Willow leaned across the table and wiped the offending sticky substance from Angel's face still eyeing him cautiously. She wasn't sure whether he was saying this to save her feelings or whether he was being genuine.
"And another thing", Angel added trying a second time to sip from his drink, "I didn't realise how much pressure the kids of today were under to simply lose their virginity"
Willow smirked at Angel's take on the curses suffered by the current younger generation.
"I don't suppose you had that much trouble back in your day", she teased.
Angel cast his mind back to his wasted youth and gave a rue smile
"Ah well it was different back then so it was", he said slipping playfully into his Irish brogue
"I remember when me only worry was how quickly I could unlace a girl's corset, steal her virtue and make it back to the tavern in time for the next lovely lassie"
Willow laughed and to Angel it was such an enchanting sound. He wondered why he had never seen her this way before, so relaxed and open. Maybe it was because the Sunnydale Scooby Gang were usually too preoccupied averting an apocalypse to be relaxed or because his head was always too full of Buffy to truly see anyone other than his feisty young slayer.
"I bet that you were quite the ladies man when you wanted to be", Willow grinned, "A good looking guy like you amongst a haven of buxom maidens"
"Maybe," he replied draining the last dregs of his hot chocolate, "But then again I wasn't exactly much of anything back then. Except a disappointing layabout to almost anyone who knew me of course"
Angel had said it so matter of factly without any kind of emotion that the amusement on Willow's face dropped a little. She had never heard Angel say anything about his life before he was a vampire. She knew nothing of the kind of man that he was. He had always been so guarded when it came to those kinds of matters and yet here he had made a completely unprompted confession. Willow had always been captivated by Angel's mystery and she was interested to know more.
"I think that's the first time you've told me anything about your human life Angel", Willow said quietly, echoing her mind's thoughts.
Angel simply shrugged his shoulders, "That's probably because there's nothing much to tell"
Willow watched silently as Angel beckoned the waitress and ordered his second hot chocolate of the evening as well as a chocolate muffin. The smile slowly crept back on her face as she pondered whether or not a vampire could get a sugar rush high.
"Angel", Willow murmured, "About this human thing, I'd like to know more if you'd tell me"
Angel glanced up and looked at his friend. She had such a trusting and innocent nature and her face encapsulated all of her sincerity. He was never entirely at ease exposing details of a life he wasn't exactly proud of but he knew that he had to do it. Someone was going to be bound to him for all of his eternity and that somebody could be Willow. She deserved to know anything she wanted to know.
"What do you want to me to tell you about?", he asked her.
"Everything. Anything", Willow replied, sitting forward to lean on her elbows, "Anything you want to tell me"
Angel smirked at the irony. If the decision were up to him he wouldn't say anything at all. There was so much he could tell her but much more he would rather keep to himself. He wasn't afraid of Willow discovering the history of his human life. Liam, his human persona, had been a misguided soul, rebellious and a little hot headed but he wasn't an evil man. Angelus however was pure evil and he was almost positive that Willow would want to know about him too. He just hoped that the truths she so longed to hear would not turn her away from him.
"I'll tell you what Willow", Angel said suddenly thinking of a compromise, "I'll make a deal with you. I will tell you one thing about my life, one thing that you have always wanted to know about me and it can be about anything, if you will answer one question of mine"
Willow knew exactly what she wanted to ask Angel, and she was pretty certain that she had no skeletons in her cupboard to hide from Angel, so he could ask her anything in return.
"OK, sounds fair to me", she replied, "Do you want to go first?"
Angel gave a small laugh as he shook his head.
"No you can if you want Will", he said making himself more comfortable as he prepared himself for Willow's undoubted barrage, "I can tell you want to, you have this cute little wrinkle thing going on at the top of your nose"
Angel was pleased to see that even with all of her new found maturity, there was still a part of Willow that became goofishly excited in her quest for knowledge. He saw these very same qualities in the latest member of his family, Fred back in LA with the possible exception that Fred seemed to be a little goofy all of the time instead of every now and then.
"So what do you want to ask me Will?", Angel prompted. The waitress had since delivered his new order and he was picking pieces of chocolate from his muffin, imagining their true taste instead of the bland flavour his vampire taste buds had left him with.
Willow played with her hands nervously. She knew what she wanted to say, what she wanted to ask yet she was having a mental debate as to whether or not it was appropriate. She looked up and caught Angel's gaze. His face so relaxed as if he was giving her permission to ask him anything her heart desired.
"I wanted to ask you about the night you were turned", Willow finally blurted out
Angel let out an unnecessary breath.
"Don't you already know that story Will", he answered, "Aren't you bored with it".
Angel should have felt relieved that his transformation was all she wanted to know after all Willow could have chosen subjects much worse than this.
"I know", she agreed, "But I only know what I have read in the Watchers Diaries or heard others talk about. I want to hear it from you Angel, in your words. How it happened and how you felt when you changed from a being a human to a demon. Were you frightened? Did it hurt? How did it feel to be buried alive? Was Darla with you the whole time? Who was your first kill ? What happened when ….."
"OK, OK Willow," Angel said holding up his hands, stopping her before she ran out of breath, "I understand where you're coming from and I'll answer all of those questions believe me"
Willow blushed as she realised her excited ramblings had carried her away. She composed herself taking the final sips from her Pepsi Float and looked at Angel expectantly.
Angel tried to settle himself as he thought about what he was going to say. Confessing his soul was easier said than done he thought. Revealing the truth about what happened to bring him to this place approximately 274 years after the day he was born was an overwhelming prospect. He wasn't sure where he should begin. How do you even try to explain to someone how it feels to have your soul ripped from your body and to be damned for eternity.
Willow detected Angel's deep thought and hesitancy but she didn't prompt nor push. Instead, she waited patiently, more than willing to let Angel tell his tale in his own time. She reached across the table and took Angel's hand in her own, letting him know in her own way that she was there to help him through anything he was about to tell her.
Angel was grateful for Willow's reassuring touch and caressed her hand with his thumb. He briefly closed his eyes and the image of his fateful first encounter with his Sire materialised in his mind's eye.
He could see her sat by the fire at his local alehouse in all her magnificence watching him, observing him, mesmerising him
Darla. His one time saviour
Darla. His long time lover and teacher
Darla. His soul's judge. His soul's jury. His soul's executioner.
"Darla came into the tavern at Galway", Angel said finally, putting his vision into words. He spoke so quietly that Willow strained to hear.
"She was incredibly beautiful, dressed so elegantly just like a true lady. I think I was involved in a bar brawl when I first saw her. She caught my eye and the vision of her hypnotised me", Angel whispered, his voice taking on the amazement he had felt that day, "She enthralled me and I was enraptured by her. Darla had that effect on every man in the room that night and she knew it. She counted on it."
Angel bowed his head for a moment breaking his contact with Willow's fascinated gaze. Willow misinterpreted this as emotional torment and immediately began to feel guilty.
"Angel," Willow spoke gently, "You don't have to continue if you don't want to. I can see this must difficult for you. I didn't mean to pry, I'm so so sorry"
Angel lifted his head abruptly and smiled warmly at his redheaded friend, "No, it's OK Willow, I'm fine and I don't mind really", he said reassuringly, "Besides a deal is a deal"
Willow gave Angel's hand a gentle comforting squeeze, which Angel returned with gratitude.
"I didn't even speak to Darla when she was in the tavern", Angel said going back to his original story, "She just looked at me and held me in her gaze. I can't describe the mystery that emulated from her Will. She was so captivating. When she beckoned me from the alley outside the tavern, I couldn't help but go to her. I felt compelled."
Angel's eyes shone with the memory. He had seen Darla entice countless others to their deaths in the one and a half centuries he had travelled with her and it was a talent he too had perfected. It was a handy skill to have to ensnare your victims without too much of a struggle.
"She spoke to me of a different world, her world, an exciting new world far from Ireland and the cruelty of my father", he continued, "I was a restless young man back then Will and I yearned for a life away from Galway. It was if she had read my mind. I was ready to give everything to her for a chance to be free and she knew it"
Angel noticed that Willow's eyes had moved from his as she stared beyond him, her mind distracted and elsewhere.
"Are you OK Willow?", he said with concern.
Willow's eyes returned to his and Angel could see an ornate sadness there, "The cruelty of your father?", she whispered, repeating Angel's words back to him She couldn't let a throwaway comment like that go unnoticed.
Angel now understood. Willow's pure soul hated anything bad happening to any of her friends.
"My father wanted the perfect son Willow", Angel explained placing his free hand over Willow's, "Let's just say I wasn't what he wished for and he liked to let me know. Discipline was harsh and painful back then"
Angel could see small shiny tears forming in Willow's emerald eyes. She didn't like the thought of Angel being beaten and he was touched by her genuine need to protect all those she cared for from harm including him.
"Do you want me to continue Willow?", Angel asked. He didn't want to say anything that would cause her any more distress, but the simple fact was the story of his life was no bedtime fairytale.
"Yes, I do", Willow replied, squeezing Angel's hand once more.
Angel nodded, content that Willow was okay.
"When I saw Darla's face change I wasn't scared", Angel continued, "It was if I had known that this was to be my fate and it was the most natural feeling in the world. She comforted me, whispering to me right up until the moment her teeth sank into my neck and she started to drink my life's blood. I don't remember feeling any pain so I guess there can't have been any. It was one of the most intimate moments I think I have ever shared with anybody. I could feel my humanity being drained from me but strangely it didn't feel like death. Instead I remember an overwhelming sense of freedom"
Willow's brow creased in confusion. How could Angel describe death as freedom. Was his childhood that bad that an end to his life was an improved alternative. Maybe she could ask him about it someday and maybe, just maybe, he would tell her.
"I don't expect you to understand Willow", Angel said quietly, responding to her facial expression, "But that is how I felt. I could feel my heart slowing almost to the point where it stopped beating altogether. She held me to her breast and I tasted the blood she had released there. It was so warm, so intoxicating and rich yet as sweet as the sweetest honey. When I fell to the floor my body was dead, my soul was gone and Angelus was born. The last words my mortal ears ever heard came from her. Your destiny was all that she said"
Angel removed a fallen tear from Willow's cheek, "I've never told that last part to anybody", he whispered, "Not even Buffy"
"What happened next", Willow managed to say. She felt unbelievably privileged that Angel was sharing as much as he was.
"My friend found my body in the alley and took me home to my family. They buried me that very morning. I could feel them above me as I lay in the ground. I could sense their heartbeats and hear their blood coursing through their veins calling out to me. It was deafening. When I rose painfully from the earth that night, Darla was waiting for me. She called my turning a birth and I guess in a way she was right. I had been born again. Born into a life of eternity"
Angel paused for an unnecessary breath and continued. The memories were coming thick and fast and surprisingly not as painful as he had first anticipated.
"I can recall we were disturbed by a grounds man at the graveyard. He thought Darla and I were grave robbers. The gnawing hunger in the pit of my stomach was incredible and the only thought in my brain was to kill. I didn't feel my face change yet I could feel my demon screaming for blood. The grounds man tried to run but I was upon him before he could move. He didn't even have a chance to scream before I ripped his throat out"
"My next target was to be my father of course. After years of suffering by his hand, I wanted him to know how it felt to be the victim. Unfortunately my beautiful little sister, Kathy, answered the door. She thought I was an angel returned to her from the grave and I mercilessly used that against her. I guiltlessly went through Kathy to get to my father. Everything I ever felt for her was gone in a second. I murdered her without a second thought. I murdered them all. The blood of my Kathy is the darkest stain on my soul. And if I ever achieve true atonement, I will still never forgive myself for taking her hope and innocence away from her so violently. She never did anything but love and trust me and I betrayed her"
His last statement did hurt. Angel bowed his head and stared at his hands still joined with Willow's, "Is that everything Willow, have I told you what you wanted to know", he said, his voice edged with the guilt he know felt.
Willow could no nothing but nod mutely. She sat in complete shock. She had wanted to hear Angel tell this tale but had not expected him to open his heart so freely.
They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, disturbed only by the waitress who removed their empty dishes from the table.
"Maybe I should take you home", Angel said, momentarily breaking their deadlock. Again, Willow could do nothing but nod. She was too wrapped up in what she had just heard to form any kind of coherent sound.
Angel paid the bill and held Willow's coat for her while she put it on. The nervous silence continued as they made the familiar journey to the Rosenberg residence.
"A…Angel," Willow finally said when they were more than half way home, "Isn't there something that you wanted to ask me? A question for a question, remember?"
"I remember Will", Angel replied softly, "But it doesn't matter anymore"
The atmosphere had turned decidedly melancholy and Angel had not planned for that to happen at the beginning of the evening. He preferred it when Willow was all infectious smiles and joyous enthusiasm not sad like she was right now. Sad because of him.
"Angel, of course it matters", Willow said disturbing his thought pattern, "A deal is a deal just like you said."
Angel opened his mouth to argue but instantly recognised Willow's resolve face. She was definitely not going to take no for an answer, of that he could be sure. At first he continued to hold her gaze, intent on trying to beat Willow at her own game, but the determination as well as the hint of disobedience hidden in her magical eyes made him think twice.
"Are you sure you want to do this Willow", Angel asked hoping that she would defer him.
Willow nodded, her smile returning as broadly as it had been all night, "I'm sure, after all I don't think I've anything to hide from you Angel"
Angel could see that Willow was unwavering and finally relented.
"OK you win Willow", he said, the joviality returning to his own voice, "I want to ask you something that I've wanted to know for a long time"
Willow could feel nervous butterflies in the pit of her stomach but patiently waited for Angel to ask his question.
"I wanted to ask you…..", Angel trailed off before continuing, "Why did you return my soul?"
Willow stopped dead in her tracks and looked directly at Angel. She wasn't sure what question she had been expecting but it certainly wasn't this one. Willow had never spoken of the spell she had cast to return Angel's soul not since Buffy told her it had been successful. She had certainly never discussed it with Angel and she wasn't sure how she felt about discussing it with him now. There was no way that she could back out however. She had convinced him to ask his question and the least she could do was answer it.
Angel was all too aware that the feelings and knowledge he was asking Willow to divulge were as private and as sensitive to her as the details of his former life were to him.
"I……I returned your soul for a couple of reasons Angel", Willow began as she resumed walking, "Mostly because of Buffy"
"B..B..Buffy?", Angel interrupted, "She asked you to return my soul"
"Sort of", Willow sighed heavily, "She didn't want me to do anything that would endanger me but I could tell how much it hurt her to see you as Angelus. She loves you so much Angel"
"I know Willow, I know". His recent encounter with Buffy had rekindled his memory of his love for her and of her love for him in return.
"I would have done anything to see her happy again", Angel heard Willow say, "And returning your soul was the best thing that I could think of to make her happy. I'm only sorry that she found out too late and that she had to send you to……", Willow paused, almost too ashamed to continue
"It's alright Willow", Angel assured her, "you can say it"
Willow still felt ashamed but said what she was thinking anyway.
"Hell" she said finally
The silence between them returned. Willow's imagination was running away with her as she considered the torment that Angel must have suffered during his time in then demon dimension. Angel didn't need to imagine, he remembered it all too well.
A few minutes later, they arrived at the front door of Willow's house.
"Thank you again for tonight Angel", Willow said as she searched for her key, "It's been a very…er…enlightening evening"
Willow gave her final smile of the night and made her way to the front of the house. Angel gently caught her by the arm to try and stop her.
"You said there were a couple of reasons why you returned my soul Will", Angel quietly reminded, "Would you tell me the other reason before you go"
Willow turned to face Angel and took his cold hand in hers.
"The other reason I returned your soul Angel", Willow said affectionately bowing her head slightly to avoid eye contact, "Was for you"
Angel lifted Willow's chin as he whispered in disbelief, "M…m..me. But why?"
Emerald eyes met stormy brown as Angel was caught in a mental battle of confusion.
"You were my friend Angel", Willow said softly, "And I missed you"
"M…missed me", Angel stammered, "But I tried to kill you, I…I tried to hurt you"
"No YOU didn't", Willow argued in return, "Angelus did. You are not him Angel. All you have ever tried to do is help me. You saved me from a flamey death, rescued me from the mayor and always been there when I needed you. Do I have to go on"
Angel never ceased to be amazed by this incredible young girl and her unbelievable ability to forgive without question. He felt almost felt ashamed that she found the need to forgive.
"If anyone ever deserved their soul Angel, it's you", Willow continued, "And I'll always protect it whenever I can"
Angel considered Willow's words as another hidden message as he looked directly at her pretty face reaching out to touch her cheek. Willow leant into the caress, whether she meant to or not, she didn't know. With that last sentiment, Angel slowly moved his head closer to Willow's and placed a tender kiss on her cheek.
"Thank you Willow", Angel whispered
As he pulled back, Willow's image slowly began to fade and Angel knew it was time to move on.
