Thanks for all of the great reviews on this fic. I find the reviews very fun and entertaining!! I especially loved the one where someone said they had a dream about Chandler and Elaina! I feel so special, awww! Also, I know that there hasn't been much with Joey and Phoebe. I am working on that, I promise.
I own none of the original "Friends" characters...apparently.
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The Pact, Chapter Twelve
"Maybe Next Time, When I See You, I'll See Forever..."
~Milan, Italy~
The twenty-four hours following Ross' declaration of love were a blur for Ross and Rachel. They gave new meaning to the term "make-up sex", as they re-discovered their feelings for each other. As the sun rose the following morning, Rachel pulled herself out of bed, and wrapped a sheet around her. She walked out to the veranda, and sunk into a large, cushioned wicker chair. The morning air was cool and crisp, and Rachel smiled as she took in the familiar smell of baking bread, eminating from the bakery below her flat. She would miss that smell, that's for sure. But she knew that moving back to New York was a good thing. It was the right thing to do. She loved living in Italy, but she missed her family and friends so much that it hurt. She sat back in her chair, and began to reminisce about the past. She thought about their tight-knit, loving group of friends. She thought about all that had happened in the past ten years, and began to realize that, through it all, what each of them really needed was each other. Phoebe was lost without Joey, Monica was lost without Chandler, and she was lost without Ross. And they were all lost without realizing how lost and lonely they really were.
It took a pact, a long ago made, but never forgotten pact--a promise of hope and friendship, to bring the group of six together again. And Rachel knew that all of them, each one of them, were happier in those moments than they had been since the night before Monica's wedding. The night of the pact, and the night before everything changed.
But with that change came growth, stability, and maturity. She saw in Phoebe a woman who had spent years trying to find happiness in herself, become a mother of two, someone who was now happy, if for nothing else because she made others happy. She was a wonderful mother and wife, but Rachel knew that Phoebe's friendship with Joey was irreplaceable, and that his decision to re-locate back to New York thrilled her more than she would ever admit. But Rachel saw it in her eyes. Theirs was a friendship that transcended the boundries of love, trust and committment. At least that's how Phoebe had once put it, after two and a half bottles of wine one winter night many years ago.
The years had been rough on Monica, but Rachel knew that she was truley meant to be with Chandler. She would have never admitted it back then, but Rachel never thought that Richard was right for Monica. Rachel had never suspected that Chandler would be the one to steal her best friend's heart, but then, one rarely sees love coming, even from a third-party perspective. Rachel made a mental note to call Monica later in the day. Rachel knew from her last chat with Monica that Chandler and Elaina were due back from Philadelphia a couple of days ago. Rachel smiled, and wondered if they were as content as she was at this very moment.
Rachel was more surprised by Chandler than by any of her other friends. She recalled his strange behaviour in the days following Monica's wedding. Then he just seemed to slowly disappear from their lives until, suddenly, he was just gone. In the weeks following Chandler's strange and sudden move, Rachel had become more and more convinced that she would never see Chandler again. She was truley floored when he walked into Central Perk the day of the reunion. She remembered sitting in the coffeehouse, waiting for him to make a joke to loosen up the group. While she was impressed with his growth, and happy that he had matured, she found that she really missed the Chandler she used to know.
Luckily, Joey hadn't changed a bit. Rachel was really happy about that, especially considering how famous he now was. He was one of Hollywood's hottest leading men, and was now commanding a whopping twenty million dollars per picture. Rachel could not believe how grounded Joey had managed to stay through all that had happened to him. He was just as sweet and cute as he was the day she had met him, and she hoped that that would never change.
"Hey, whatcha thinkin about?" Ross broke into Rachel's thoughts, causing her to jump.
"Oh, sweetie, you startled me. I was just thinking about our friends, and how much we have all changed."
"Oh yeah? I guess we really have changed. For the better, in most cases," Ross laughed.
"I want to call Monica, and find out how things are going with Chandler," Rachel said excitedly.
"What do you mean?" Ross asked, confusion lining his brow.
"Ross, you can't tell me you missed it," Rachel laughed.
"Missed what?"
"Ross, Chandler and Monica fell in love," Rachel said slowly, as if she were talking to a child.
"What? In three days?"
"No, Ross, it took, like twenty years. You had better be happy for them, because they make each other very happy."
"Huh. How did I miss all this?"
"Maybe you were too busy groping me in the arboritum," Rachel joked.
"So, they are...together?"
"I think so. I mean, that's the impression I got the day we all left."
"So that's why Chandler is moving back to New York!"
"Wow, Ross, for a doctor, you really are slow," Rachel laughed.
To that, Ross picked Rachel up, and carried her back inside, fully intending to make her pay for that last comment.
***
~New York City~
Monica sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly at her hands. How had it come to this? How had she managed to screw up the best thing that had ever happened to her? It had been two days since her fight with Chandler, and she hadn't been able to reach him at all. She wondered if he had taken Elaina back to Philadelphia. She had never seen him so upset before. But then, she wasn't here the last time he'd left. She felt a chill travel up her spine, and into her fingertips, as she thought about the last thing Chandler had said to her. The idea that she had hurt someone that she loved so much deeply disturbed her. She was a horrible, horrible person. That was when it hit her. She was...just like Richard. Like Richard, she had schemed to get what she wanted-a child. She may not have been aware of it at the time, but she had done something that was just as dispicable as what her ex-husband had done to her. The thought made Monica physically ill. She ran into the bathroom, as she felt a bitter taste rise in her throat. Once she reached the toilet, however, she found that she was only coughing up dry heaves. She hadn't eaten much in the past two days, and she knew that it was bad for the baby. But she just couldn't bring herself to eat anything. The ringing of the phone filled the empty apartment, and Monica pulled herself up off of the bathroom floor, and walked into the living room to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Monica? It's Rachel."
"Oh, hey Rach," Monica said quietly.
"How are you? Are Chandler and Elaina back from Philadelphia yet?"
"Yeah, but..."
"What? Is everything okay, Mon?"
"I don't want to talk about it over the phone. When are you coming back to New York?"
"Thursday. Mon, are you sure you are okay? Should we try to book an earlier flight?"
"No, don't be silly, I'm fine."
"Okay...Ross says hi, by the way...oh, and he says that he is totally okay with you and Chandler."
"That's great but...there is no me and Chandler."
"What?"
"I screwed it all up Rach. Um, look, there is someone at the door, so I'll fill you in when you get back,"
"But--"
"I gotta go, Rach...bye!"
"Monica!"
Monica hung up the phone, drowning out the protests of her best friend. She knew she shouldn't just drop a bomb like that on her and then hang up, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about all of this yet.
Much to Monica's surprise, moments after she had lied to Rachel about someone knocking at the door, someone actually knocked.
"Spooky," Monica muttered, and opened the door.
On the other side of the door stood Chandler, with a look on his face that Monica could not decipher.
"Chandler," Monica whispered, and moved to let him into the apartment.
"We need to talk," Chandler said coldly, and brushed past Monica.
"Where's Elaina?"
"With Mike and Phoebe. One of Phoebe's friends teaches at Elaina's school, so they are all having dinner while we...sort this out," Chandler spat out the last three words quickly.
"Oh. Um, Chandler, look, I--"
"Monica, I need to talk first, okay? 'Cause I don't know if I can get through all that I have to say."
"Oh. Okay."
"Monica, I...uh, this is so hard." Chandler sat down heavily on the sofa, and put his head in his hands.
"Chandler, you know that you can tell me anything," Monica whispered, as she sat down on the coffee table.
"No, I don't know that Monica, and that's the problem. I trusted you. I trusted you more than anyone. And you took my trust, and you used it against me. I am so, so mad right now...I wanted more than anything to raise a family with you. I've wanted that since...since that day Ben was born and I made you that...stupid promise that pissed you off."
"It didn't piss me off...it was a sweet proposition. I had no idea that you felt like that for so long."
"Maybe it's because I became really good at repressing my feelings for you. I was so good at it that I convinced myself that the feelings weren't real. And I was fine...until you and Richard got married, and then I fell apart again. But you know what? I am not going to let you do this to me again, Monica. I don't deserve this, I really don't.
"I know you don't," Monica whispered, tears streaming down her guilt-ridden face.
"I would love to be able to sit here and tell you that I never want to see you again. That I am going to walk out that door, and forget about you. But I can't. I can't do that to our child. I will not be my father. I will not let that baby grow up resenting it's absent father. And I will not deprive myself of the chance to get to know him...or her."
"Wow. I am really happy that you want to be involved Chandler. And I know that you don't understand why I did what I did, but I'd really like a chance to explain."
"Fine." Chandler relented.
"I never, ever wanted, or meant to hurt you. I didn't even realize I was doing it, really. I...I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what you said, about me being attracted to you because of Elaina. And maybe, in a way, that's true. But Chandler, it is so much more than that. In my heart, I have always loved you, in some way or another, and seeing you again after all these years made me realize that what I needed had been right in front of me for years.
I was just too blind to see it. As for the baby. You have to understand, that I am rapidly approaching forty, and I was so scared that I would never be able to have children. I am so disgusted with myself, when I think about how awful you must feel, and how..." Monica paused, as she felt her throat close up on her.
"How what?" Chandler asked softly.
"How what I did to you is no better than what Richard did to me." Monica sobbed.
"Oh my God. I never thought of it like that." Chandler said, more to himself than to Monica.
"Chandler, I do love you, and I need you so much. And I know that I am a horrible person, and that I don't deserve you, but I am begging you to please, give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you, and I will never hurt you again."
Chandler looked at Monica, and took in all that she had said slowly.
"Monica, I can't."
"Oh. Okay." Monica felt her heart drop, and she was sure that she could actually hear it breaking apart.
"Not right now. What happened...what you did, it hurt. And I really need more time to...sort some stuff out."
"Okay. Thank you, for at least listening."
"I...I have to go." Chandler stood up to leave, and Monica followed closely behind.
"I am so, so sorry, Chandler." Monica said as Chandler opened the door.
"We'll work something out, Monica," Chandler said, and walked out the door.
"I hope so," Monica whispered to herself. "Maybe next time, when I see you, I'll see forever in your eyes."
~*~
I own none of the original "Friends" characters...apparently.
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The Pact, Chapter Twelve
"Maybe Next Time, When I See You, I'll See Forever..."
~Milan, Italy~
The twenty-four hours following Ross' declaration of love were a blur for Ross and Rachel. They gave new meaning to the term "make-up sex", as they re-discovered their feelings for each other. As the sun rose the following morning, Rachel pulled herself out of bed, and wrapped a sheet around her. She walked out to the veranda, and sunk into a large, cushioned wicker chair. The morning air was cool and crisp, and Rachel smiled as she took in the familiar smell of baking bread, eminating from the bakery below her flat. She would miss that smell, that's for sure. But she knew that moving back to New York was a good thing. It was the right thing to do. She loved living in Italy, but she missed her family and friends so much that it hurt. She sat back in her chair, and began to reminisce about the past. She thought about their tight-knit, loving group of friends. She thought about all that had happened in the past ten years, and began to realize that, through it all, what each of them really needed was each other. Phoebe was lost without Joey, Monica was lost without Chandler, and she was lost without Ross. And they were all lost without realizing how lost and lonely they really were.
It took a pact, a long ago made, but never forgotten pact--a promise of hope and friendship, to bring the group of six together again. And Rachel knew that all of them, each one of them, were happier in those moments than they had been since the night before Monica's wedding. The night of the pact, and the night before everything changed.
But with that change came growth, stability, and maturity. She saw in Phoebe a woman who had spent years trying to find happiness in herself, become a mother of two, someone who was now happy, if for nothing else because she made others happy. She was a wonderful mother and wife, but Rachel knew that Phoebe's friendship with Joey was irreplaceable, and that his decision to re-locate back to New York thrilled her more than she would ever admit. But Rachel saw it in her eyes. Theirs was a friendship that transcended the boundries of love, trust and committment. At least that's how Phoebe had once put it, after two and a half bottles of wine one winter night many years ago.
The years had been rough on Monica, but Rachel knew that she was truley meant to be with Chandler. She would have never admitted it back then, but Rachel never thought that Richard was right for Monica. Rachel had never suspected that Chandler would be the one to steal her best friend's heart, but then, one rarely sees love coming, even from a third-party perspective. Rachel made a mental note to call Monica later in the day. Rachel knew from her last chat with Monica that Chandler and Elaina were due back from Philadelphia a couple of days ago. Rachel smiled, and wondered if they were as content as she was at this very moment.
Rachel was more surprised by Chandler than by any of her other friends. She recalled his strange behaviour in the days following Monica's wedding. Then he just seemed to slowly disappear from their lives until, suddenly, he was just gone. In the weeks following Chandler's strange and sudden move, Rachel had become more and more convinced that she would never see Chandler again. She was truley floored when he walked into Central Perk the day of the reunion. She remembered sitting in the coffeehouse, waiting for him to make a joke to loosen up the group. While she was impressed with his growth, and happy that he had matured, she found that she really missed the Chandler she used to know.
Luckily, Joey hadn't changed a bit. Rachel was really happy about that, especially considering how famous he now was. He was one of Hollywood's hottest leading men, and was now commanding a whopping twenty million dollars per picture. Rachel could not believe how grounded Joey had managed to stay through all that had happened to him. He was just as sweet and cute as he was the day she had met him, and she hoped that that would never change.
"Hey, whatcha thinkin about?" Ross broke into Rachel's thoughts, causing her to jump.
"Oh, sweetie, you startled me. I was just thinking about our friends, and how much we have all changed."
"Oh yeah? I guess we really have changed. For the better, in most cases," Ross laughed.
"I want to call Monica, and find out how things are going with Chandler," Rachel said excitedly.
"What do you mean?" Ross asked, confusion lining his brow.
"Ross, you can't tell me you missed it," Rachel laughed.
"Missed what?"
"Ross, Chandler and Monica fell in love," Rachel said slowly, as if she were talking to a child.
"What? In three days?"
"No, Ross, it took, like twenty years. You had better be happy for them, because they make each other very happy."
"Huh. How did I miss all this?"
"Maybe you were too busy groping me in the arboritum," Rachel joked.
"So, they are...together?"
"I think so. I mean, that's the impression I got the day we all left."
"So that's why Chandler is moving back to New York!"
"Wow, Ross, for a doctor, you really are slow," Rachel laughed.
To that, Ross picked Rachel up, and carried her back inside, fully intending to make her pay for that last comment.
***
~New York City~
Monica sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly at her hands. How had it come to this? How had she managed to screw up the best thing that had ever happened to her? It had been two days since her fight with Chandler, and she hadn't been able to reach him at all. She wondered if he had taken Elaina back to Philadelphia. She had never seen him so upset before. But then, she wasn't here the last time he'd left. She felt a chill travel up her spine, and into her fingertips, as she thought about the last thing Chandler had said to her. The idea that she had hurt someone that she loved so much deeply disturbed her. She was a horrible, horrible person. That was when it hit her. She was...just like Richard. Like Richard, she had schemed to get what she wanted-a child. She may not have been aware of it at the time, but she had done something that was just as dispicable as what her ex-husband had done to her. The thought made Monica physically ill. She ran into the bathroom, as she felt a bitter taste rise in her throat. Once she reached the toilet, however, she found that she was only coughing up dry heaves. She hadn't eaten much in the past two days, and she knew that it was bad for the baby. But she just couldn't bring herself to eat anything. The ringing of the phone filled the empty apartment, and Monica pulled herself up off of the bathroom floor, and walked into the living room to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Monica? It's Rachel."
"Oh, hey Rach," Monica said quietly.
"How are you? Are Chandler and Elaina back from Philadelphia yet?"
"Yeah, but..."
"What? Is everything okay, Mon?"
"I don't want to talk about it over the phone. When are you coming back to New York?"
"Thursday. Mon, are you sure you are okay? Should we try to book an earlier flight?"
"No, don't be silly, I'm fine."
"Okay...Ross says hi, by the way...oh, and he says that he is totally okay with you and Chandler."
"That's great but...there is no me and Chandler."
"What?"
"I screwed it all up Rach. Um, look, there is someone at the door, so I'll fill you in when you get back,"
"But--"
"I gotta go, Rach...bye!"
"Monica!"
Monica hung up the phone, drowning out the protests of her best friend. She knew she shouldn't just drop a bomb like that on her and then hang up, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about all of this yet.
Much to Monica's surprise, moments after she had lied to Rachel about someone knocking at the door, someone actually knocked.
"Spooky," Monica muttered, and opened the door.
On the other side of the door stood Chandler, with a look on his face that Monica could not decipher.
"Chandler," Monica whispered, and moved to let him into the apartment.
"We need to talk," Chandler said coldly, and brushed past Monica.
"Where's Elaina?"
"With Mike and Phoebe. One of Phoebe's friends teaches at Elaina's school, so they are all having dinner while we...sort this out," Chandler spat out the last three words quickly.
"Oh. Um, Chandler, look, I--"
"Monica, I need to talk first, okay? 'Cause I don't know if I can get through all that I have to say."
"Oh. Okay."
"Monica, I...uh, this is so hard." Chandler sat down heavily on the sofa, and put his head in his hands.
"Chandler, you know that you can tell me anything," Monica whispered, as she sat down on the coffee table.
"No, I don't know that Monica, and that's the problem. I trusted you. I trusted you more than anyone. And you took my trust, and you used it against me. I am so, so mad right now...I wanted more than anything to raise a family with you. I've wanted that since...since that day Ben was born and I made you that...stupid promise that pissed you off."
"It didn't piss me off...it was a sweet proposition. I had no idea that you felt like that for so long."
"Maybe it's because I became really good at repressing my feelings for you. I was so good at it that I convinced myself that the feelings weren't real. And I was fine...until you and Richard got married, and then I fell apart again. But you know what? I am not going to let you do this to me again, Monica. I don't deserve this, I really don't.
"I know you don't," Monica whispered, tears streaming down her guilt-ridden face.
"I would love to be able to sit here and tell you that I never want to see you again. That I am going to walk out that door, and forget about you. But I can't. I can't do that to our child. I will not be my father. I will not let that baby grow up resenting it's absent father. And I will not deprive myself of the chance to get to know him...or her."
"Wow. I am really happy that you want to be involved Chandler. And I know that you don't understand why I did what I did, but I'd really like a chance to explain."
"Fine." Chandler relented.
"I never, ever wanted, or meant to hurt you. I didn't even realize I was doing it, really. I...I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what you said, about me being attracted to you because of Elaina. And maybe, in a way, that's true. But Chandler, it is so much more than that. In my heart, I have always loved you, in some way or another, and seeing you again after all these years made me realize that what I needed had been right in front of me for years.
I was just too blind to see it. As for the baby. You have to understand, that I am rapidly approaching forty, and I was so scared that I would never be able to have children. I am so disgusted with myself, when I think about how awful you must feel, and how..." Monica paused, as she felt her throat close up on her.
"How what?" Chandler asked softly.
"How what I did to you is no better than what Richard did to me." Monica sobbed.
"Oh my God. I never thought of it like that." Chandler said, more to himself than to Monica.
"Chandler, I do love you, and I need you so much. And I know that I am a horrible person, and that I don't deserve you, but I am begging you to please, give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you, and I will never hurt you again."
Chandler looked at Monica, and took in all that she had said slowly.
"Monica, I can't."
"Oh. Okay." Monica felt her heart drop, and she was sure that she could actually hear it breaking apart.
"Not right now. What happened...what you did, it hurt. And I really need more time to...sort some stuff out."
"Okay. Thank you, for at least listening."
"I...I have to go." Chandler stood up to leave, and Monica followed closely behind.
"I am so, so sorry, Chandler." Monica said as Chandler opened the door.
"We'll work something out, Monica," Chandler said, and walked out the door.
"I hope so," Monica whispered to herself. "Maybe next time, when I see you, I'll see forever in your eyes."
~*~
