Disclaimer: They're not mine, and someday they may be, but right now, they're not. So there. Go fall off a cliff.

EVIL WORDS 2/2

Zombie: As you may remember, we left our characters at McRonalds, and TFO has just walked up Mulder, Scully, and Fred's table, and said "What are you doing with my son??". You know she's not talking about Scully. Come on. Shushies.

TFO: SHUT UP!!!

Zombie: Rreeww!!! (mutters) Ditz.

ACT TWO
SCENE ONE
McRonalds

(TFO is standing angrily in front of the table)

TFO: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SON?
Mulder: Uh.. you already said that.
TFO: I did? Whoa.. that's weird!
Scully: So, Diana, who's your son? It can't be Mulder! I would never insult him that much!



Fred: What the heck was THAT?
Scully: Don't worry. Diana's perfume is making you hallucinate. It's perfectly normal.

TFO: All right!! Fred is my son!!
Fred: NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TFO: You know, stuff hurts when it hits you.
Fred: Really??

Mulder: Who's the dad?
Fred: Yeah, who's my dad??
TFO: Uh.... well... um..

SCENE TWO
RIKKI LAKE
THREE DAYS LATER

(TFO, CSM, Spender, Skinner, Krycek, Mulder, Scully, and Fred are at the stage)

Rikki: Hi! Welcome to Rikki Lake! Today our topic is: "Governmental Conspiracies and the Fatherless Child from a UFO Who Tries to Cover it all up"! Diana here is the mother of Fred, but we don't know who the father is. These men may each be the father, but they're all locked into a deep, dark governmental conspiracy! Isn't that romantic? And Scully here thinks she knows who it is! But only DNA testing will prove!

Scully: There is a small chance that the DNA testing will prove to be--

Rikki: That's nice! Now, let's see the results!

(an envelope is handed to Rikki and she opens it. Mulder nods to Scully and they both leave the building)

Rikki: Oh my gosh!! This is so weird!! The results say that the father is--

(The builing blows up)



Scully: What WAS that?
Mulder: I don't know!
Scully: Well, the truth is out there, but if we said anything then we'd be breaking copyright laws!! Heh heh! Let's move to Iceland!
Mulder: Yeah! Then I can write my book about Governmental Conspiracies and the Fatherless Children From UFOs who Try to Cover it all up!
Scully: Hey Mulder, they're having a sale on Venetian Blind Shower Curtains! Wanna go?
Mulder: Sure! You can never have enough Venetian Blind Shower Curtains!!



Zombie: Okay, that was scary!! What's with the flying monkeys?
Scully: I don't know!!
Mulder: Hey, maybe we're all going crazy!! See ya later!
Zombie: Okay... bye Mulder and Scully!

(And so, Mulder and Scully skip happily into the sunset, only to fall off a cliff into their inevitable doom. Just kidding!! Haha! I had you! Don't worry kiddies, they fell onto a matress! They're okay!! Hey, by the way, there's a sale on flying monkeys! Anyone wanna come with me??)

THE END!!

_________________
*cringes and throws up* Please, kill me.