The Lost Time Trilogy
Part Three: The Rebellion
Prologue
Rachel
"Hey, guys," Kit said in a soft voice. I looked at her. There was an oozing wound on the back of her head.
Jake and the others looked astonished. They went towards her.
You got away, Tobias said.
She nodded in response. "I guess Jared remembered me; he would have, from before."
I saw that she was holding her knife in her hand.
"Did you kill him?" I asked.
She looked at the ground. "No."
I saw a smile creep across her face. That was weird; why would she be glad at this time? I mean, she had nearly been caught. . .
Maybe it was the buzz of the fight. The adrenaline response. That I could understand.
Still, I eyed her with suspicion.
The hand with the knife darted forward and put the knife to Jake's throat.
Ax's tail-blade ached forward, stopping just a hair from her neck.
"You're a Controller," Jake said quietly.
I got a very bad feeling.
1
"Don't move, Andalite," my voice said. "I can push this blade through your prince's throat very easily. You so much as twitch that tail of yours, and I'll do it." A pause. "He'll die."
You kill him, and I swear, I will never shut up, I'll never leave him be, I-- No one was going to kill one of my friends. Not even Jake.
I won't kill a morph-capable body unless I have to. We need them for our fight.
What fight? No answer. What fight, Yeerk?!
A silent, evil laugh. You would like to know, wouldn't you. About our rebellion.
What rebellion?
You would like to know that. He made no further move to answer.
You're going to die, I told the Yeerk.
Ax's tail-blade hit my knife. It went flying. Jake stepped away, and I was left standing, clutching my wrist. It was bleeding a little bit; the blow agitated the wound I had gotten when Jared twisted my wrist.
See, I told you, I said to the Yeerk. You have no weapons. I laughed silently. They're going to kill you.
Forget it! When our rebellion wins, Earth will be under our control overnight. We have a very powerful weapon.
What do you mean? I got the sick feeling that he was talking about something much worse than a nuclear bomb.
I got only images of icy walls as an answer.
"Well, Yeerk, I guess you know all about us," Rachel said coldly.
"Yes. The five human youths and the Andalite aristh. Jake, Cassie, Rachel, Marco, Tobias, and Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. I know all about you. And, soon, the entire Yeerk Empire will." He went back to my natural body as he said that. I was Angela again.
"Not if you don't get away from here," Jake said matter-of-factly.
Then, from behind me, I felt strong hands yank my arms behind my back. Marco in gorilla morph.
Fact: Laman are strong. Gorillas are much, much, much stronger. And no matter how much the Yeerk made my arms pull away, Marco kept his grip. He had no problem doing so.
I had overpowered him once before, when he had been expecting a human, human strength and reflexes. But now Marco knew better. His grip was fierce, almost.
He dragged me for a long time, until we reached a shack, or something that might once have been a shack. There was rope there.
I was tied to a tree outside the building. The ropes were strong, the knots secure. Hemp cord. There was no way for the Yeerk to get out of this.
They'll have to feed you. When they do that, they'll be weak Vulnerable. I can attack then.
I can go for a long time without food, I mentioned quietly. They know that. They won't untie me to feed me. They're not going to untie me for any reason.
They don't need to untie you.
I really didn't like the sound of that.
What is that supposed to mean?
No answer.
Tell me! What does that mean?
You don't need to know.
I sat in a corner of my mind for awhile and silently fumed at the Yeerk in my head. While I did so, I noticed that he was getting one hand free.
It was almost loose when I saw Marco come over with water for me to drink. It was just before dawn.
As he forced the cup to my lips, I felt my hand come loose. The Yeerk jerked it forward and pushed his head to mine.
I felt a slithering in my ear. Then, I realized that I could move. The real me had a body.
And what was once Marco was sneering at me silently. He began to walk away.
I was tied up, and no one would ever know that I was free.
Wait! There was one way. . .
I summoned all my strength and concentrated on a very loud thought-speak call.
AX!!!
2
I wasn't expecting an answer. I didn't even know if he was within range. But he wouldn't be able to tell who was yelling; he couldn't be aboslutely sure it wasn't Marco. If he heard it, he would come. If I yelled vocally, it would get no response.
I concentrated on getting my other hand free as I was calling out.
AX!!!
I wrenched my hand free and undid the ropes around my legs. Then I looked around. Nothing I could use as a weapon. . .
Suddenly, I heard footsteps! Or hoofsteps.
I saw my knife inside the cabin. I ran over and grabbed it. Marco came back to stop me.
Ax came into the clearing as I leveled the knife at Marco's throat.
Put the blade down! Ax told me, cocking his tail as he did so.
"He's a Controller," I said softly.
His tail struck at me. I dodged it. Barely.
"Listen to me, Ax, he's a Controller! The Yeerk went from my head into his."
Marco shook his head.
"She got free, grabbed the knife, and attacked me."
"He's lying," I said.
Ax's blade struck again. The dull side hit my wrist lightly, but the wound had mostly healed and I managed to keep my grip.
"Listen, I'll put the knife down. I'll even let you tie me up again," I set it down as I said that. "But you can't let either of us leave here!"
"Keep me here? My dad'll go nuts worrying!"
"You can't take the chance of letting a Yeerk escape. You know that. And you know what you have to do."
As Ax put down his tail-blade in agreement, 'Marco' grabbed the knife, grabbed my neck, and held it at my throat.
"My last host, before this one," he said, gesturing to me, "was an FBI agent. I know how to use this weapon."
Ax cocked his tail-blade. The knife at my throat drew blood.
"Uh-uh. I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said mockingly towards Ax. "Put the tail down."
As he was watching Ax, I shifted my feet into a good position.
Ax lowered his tail.
"That's better," the Yeerk said in a condescending voice.
I grabbed his wrist and swept my leg into his knees. He fell, and now I had the knife.
He knocked me off my feet, got up, and ran.
Ax started forward.
"I'll do it, Ax." Before he could react, I darted after the Yeerk. I figured that I would be faster in the woods than Ax would. He was built for the Homeworld; I was built for Earth. A predator.
And this was one prey that wasn't going to escape.
I ran after the trail that he made, noticing the way that the path changed. He had morphed; probably into something like a dog or a wolf. Maybe even a big cat.
There was a rustling in a bush just up ahead; a wolf ran through it when I turned.
I jumped up into a tree and came down on top of the wolf. I put the knife to the wolf's spine.
"If you don't demorph, I'll stab you through your spine. Right here." I indicated the spot that I meant by pushing the knife a bit. "If I do that, I'll sever your spinal cord, and your rear legs will be paralyzed. So, I would advise swallowing your illusions of power before I hurt you."
You wouldn't do that to a friend.
I bared my fangs. "You aren't my friend, Yeerk. You tried to kill my friends. You infested one of them. A friend doesn't do that. So just try me on this one."
He began to demorph. I kept my knife in place the entire time. And I anticipated his next move.
When his hand pulled my head to his with a half morphed paw-hand, I was ready. As he crossed the small gap between my ear and Marco's, I stabbed my knife into him. Then I pulled back, with the Yeerk shish-kabobed on the blade. I pulled it off and placed it on the forest floor. Then, with my sneaker-covered foot, I crushed him.
I felt my knees hit the ground in relief. I was exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. And I still had to go to school in about one, two hours.
I saw Marco stand up, fully human, and walk towards me. He had paled, and in his eyes, I could see a little wetness.
"You were going to paralyze me!" His voice was shaking slightly, then steadied.
"It would have healed." I shrugged and looked up at him. "Are you all right?"
"Fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"
"You looked a little. . .shaken."
"Right, Angel. I'm the Amazing Marco. Marco the Magnificent. Nothing fazes me!"
I rolled my eyes and stood. "Then why are you trembling, oh amazing one?"
"It's cold. And while this outfit is very fashionable," he gestured to his morphing outfit of bike shorts and a tight T-shirt, "it's not keeping me warm."
"Whatever," I said and laughed. "I've got to go get my stuff from where I left it. So. . .bye."
"Later."
I walked back to the spot with the shack, the spot where we had first disappeared, to get my backpack.
I still felt bad about that. It was all my fault, once you think about it. The Antrim did those things because of me. It was my fault that they had almost died.
I had to figure out a way to make it up to them.
I noticed that Marco was following me. Probably to get his actual clothes.
"Hey, Kit?"
"Yeah?"
"Did the Yeerk say anything to you about a rebellion?"
I nearly jumped. Of course! He had said that his rebellion would take over the Earth. There must be a faction of Yeerks that wants to just take over without all this secrecy stuff. Maybe a pacifist group, too.
That's what the fight had been about, before. It wasn't between the Vissers; it was between the two opinions. And the ultimate weapon. . .whatever it was. . . could assure one side victory.
If the side that wanted to take over won. . .then it would be over. We would be forced to give up.
We couldn't let that happen.
"Did he?"
"Yes! That's it! The fight is between two groups, not the Vissers. . . If they win, we'd be doomed. We have to stop them!"
"Kit? Are you sure you didn't hit your head?"
"Oh, right. I'm fine. We've got to meet after school. Tell the others!" I came up to where my stuff was, grabbed it, and ran off, leaving Marco shaking his head.
3
I walked around town for a bit, then headed towards school. When I got there, I immediately ran into Rachel. She, in turn, dragged me over to an empty washroom and pinned me against the wall. I didn't struggle.
"What are you doing here?" she hissed at me.
"Long story; ask Marco or Ax. The Yeerk's dead. We need to get everyone together. Marco's going to ask Jake."
"Why?" Her hold on me didn't loosen.
"We'll explain it later." I twisted to get away.. "I'm going to be late to English," I said, and walked off.
Last night had not been a restful one, and the school day was trying. By the time lunch came, I was ready to fall over.
I grabbed a plate of unidentifiable gook and looked for a place to sit. I ended up sitting by Cassie and Rachel.
"What happened?" Cassie asked in a low voice when I got there.
"It went from me into Marco. And then tried to go back. When it did that, we killed it." I moved the gook around on my plate. I was really not hungry. The greyish gook looked too much like a Yeerk.
"Why do we need to meet up?"
"There's a really. . .um. . . big rumor. Something that could turn out to be really dynamite, if we can use it to our advantage." I hated this secrecy stuff. It took forever to get the point across. Especially when I couldn't use important words like "Yeerk," "Visser," and "Andalite."
"It could also get us in serious trouble. . . I don't think that I can stomach this stuff," said, gesturing to the stuff on my plate. "I'm going to go walk around. Ah, nice to meet you, Cassie." I'd forgotten that we didn't know each other.
"Will after school be okay?"
"Yeah, that'd be great," I said, and stood up to walk away. "So long as Jake doesn't mind."
"Bye."
I threw the "food" into the trash can and snuck off to the library. I wasn't in a talking mood. It showed during gym class. I still didn't have a uniform-was it only yesterday that we were racing?- and even Rachel didn't even try to talk to me as I sat by the side of the track.
Science wasn't much better, though Marco tried to cheer me up a bit with some incredibly stupid jokes.
I just wanted to get the whole debriefing done and over with. Then, I wanted to get the Yeerks. Badly. And the anger showed. The comments were flying at Mr. Johnson rather quickly. Just as they had been at most of my teachers throughout the day.
I noticed that Marco was looking at me strangely as the class wore on.
"Angela?" he said as we were packing up to leave, "Are you all right?"
I mumbled an answer.
"What?"
"I said I'm fine!" I snapped and turned away. Then the bell rang, and I headed towards my locker.
I shoved my science book onto the top shelf and sighed. The anger hit me again, surprisingly strong. I slammed my locker shut and let out an impolite word.
"Miss!" I started and then turned at the voice behind me. It was none other than Assistant Principal Chapman. A Controller. And a fairly strict administrator. He had heard what I said.
Well, I thought, at least I kept it in English this time. Not Galard.
"Y-yes, sir?" I said, looking up innocently, maybe seeming a bit scared.
"We do not tolerate that kind of language here." He furrowed his eyebrows. "You are the new student, Angela, correct?"
I nodded.
"Then I need you to come to my office. Right now." He turned and left. I started shaking.
Did he somehow know that I was a Controller. Or used to be? How much had I told him?
If I bolted, he'd know for sure.
I began to trudge towards the office.
4
When I walked in, he motioned for me to take a seat.
"Now, Angela, I hate to see any student get off on the wrong foot. Your teachers have told me of your attitude, and, frankly, I don't like it. What can we do to make you feel less. . . rebellious?"
I very nearly sighed in relief. He was just concerned about my behavior.
"Trust me, I don't want to start off on the wrong foot, either. And as for my. . .um. . . attitude. . . well, I haven't been doing anything wrong."
"Five of your teachers have mentioned you today. You seem to be having some sort of problem. I know of your history, and until the unfortunate death of your parents, you were a model student. There are wonderful social workers here, and they can help you adjust to the reality of. . ."
"I don't like psychologists." I said shortly.
He blinked in surprise. "Well, then there is this organization I run. It's called The Sharing. . ."
Great. . .
"The members are wonderful, and the camaraderie can help you to accept that. . ."
I looked away.
"Maybe I'll, uh, check it out sometime," I said, knowing just how lame I sounded. "I'm going to miss my bus. . . can I please go now, sir?"
"You have three day's detention. Starting Monday. Yes, you may leave." He looked down at the papers on his desk.
I ran out of the building and got on the bus. The last stop was close to Cassie's house, and I got off there. I figured that everyone else would be there, although I didn't see anyone on the bus. . .
I knocked on the barn door before I came in.
"Who is it?" I heard Cassie say as I opened the door.
"Hi," I replied. "How did you get here so fast? All of you?" I added, as I saw Jake, Rachel, and Marco in the background.
"We flew. . . how did you know about this place?" Jake replied.
I shrugged. "It was one of the things that the Antrim told me. Like how I knew where you all live, how I knew that Tom, Chapman, and others were Controllers."
"Do you know about anything else?"
"Probably nothing you guys don't already know about." I shrugged. "The Sharing is a Yeerk group, Chapman's a Controller, where there are Yeerk Pool entrances- probably only the ones you know about. The Antrim's evil, but I don't think he's stupid."
Jake glared at me. I glared back at him.
"Okay. . .um. . .hey, why don't we tell them what happened?" Marco suggested. I suppose he could see the tension building. Like someone could miss it. . .
Jake and I both glared at Marco. Then I spoke.
"Okay, that would work. The Yeerk jumped from my head, into Marco's. I screamed for Ax. Ax came, and the Yeerk, in Marco, said I was a Controller. Then he took me hostage. I kicked him, he knocked me down and ran. I followed, the Yeerk tried to jump again, and he's dead."
Everyone just blinked at me.
Jake looked at me, seemingly about to lose his patience.
"Slow. Down."
I repeated it, this time making sure that I didn't sound like I was rambling. Marco and Ax nodded in agreement at the facts of various parts.
Jake, however, looked discouraged.
"We already knew this; Ax already mentioned it. Why did you ask to see us?"
I cringed at the word "us." It was like I was an outsider, a burden. The others were nice about it. They had all accepted me, to some extent or another.
But Jake seemed angry with me. Maybe it was because of what the Antrim made me do, or because of the whole thing with Tom. Maybe it was something else entirely. . .
I shrugged off the feeling. He must have just been stressed. Who could blame him?
"The Yeerk in my head mentioned that there was a fight, a rebellion, among the Yeerks that want to take over Earth by force. And they have some sort of ultimate weapon. So maybe this could mean something big," I said as I tried to keep my temper under control.
"And this means. . .?" he replied.
"It means that we should check it out," I heard Rachel answer for me.
"A spy mission. We do the bug thing," Marco said, then added, "I got the same kind of impression from the Yeerk too, Jake, so you can be sure she isn't making this up."
I looked at him strangely as he spoke with a slight edge to his voice. What had made him say that? I mean, he didn't seem like the kind of guy to defend somebody. . .
Think about it: Jake doesn't trust you, but he trusts Marco. Maybe Marco knows that, I thought. He wants to get the Yeerks as badly as everyone else.
"All right, all right, we'll check it out if everyone'll go for it. All for?"
Everyone who had hands raised them, except for Jake. Tobias flared, and made a very human nod of agreement. Jake sighed.
"Okay, tomorrow, right after school." He turned to me, and his expression was almost antagonistic.
"Are you happy now, Angela?" he said from above me. I flinched at the sound of my not-quite-real name, then turned and walked away.
It was a long walk from Cassie's house to my own, about a mile and a half; I had plenty of time to stew about Jake, and Jake's attitude.
He treated me like a three-year old. Like a vecol, some cripple who was going to be a liability. What did he see in me that I couldn't. . .
What was his problem?
As I neared my house, I half-screamed in frustration, put my hands up to my head, started muttering.
"Why is this bending me so out of shape- augh!" I saw a shadow nearby, and looked up. It was a random person, a lady who looked about thirty-five. Looked like she was a generally nice person. . .
I almost laughed then, because I knew differently. I knew that she could be a deadly enemy, someone who might as soon kill me where I stand as say "hello."
I did start laughing a little. She looked at me oddly, then hurried away.
I stopped, and kept on walking.
My feet dragged themselves into the house, where my aunt and uncle were there to greet me. Angrily.
"Angela, what were you thinking, walking out at that hour in the morning?" Aunt Claire demanded. "We were worried sick until we finally found the note."
"You gave us quite a fright young lady." Uncle Hugh was much gentler; he didn't sound very upset, just worried.
"I'm sorry," I said, and looked at the ground. "I didn't mean to worry you at all." I could feel myself mimicking the motions of being ashamed, repentant. I was scum, lying like this.
"It's all right, dear," Aunt Claire said, finally, after I had apologized and even cried a little. "Just don't scare us like that again. Please?"
"I promise," I said, lying again. "Um. . . I'm kind of tired, so I'm going to bed early."
I didn't wait for a reply, but went up to my room and laid down on my bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes.
As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was gone.
5
I'm not normally a big dream person. I just close my eyes, and open them what seems like an instant later. It's like being gone. Dead. I don't miss the dreaming.
But when I do dream, especially lately, it's bad. Very bad.
I was in the ship, the ship that took me to Earth years ago. In my old, old body. My Andalite body.
I looked at the odd readings on the computer files. There was something strange on the planet called Earth. . . something powerful. . .
A hit! A near miss! We were being shot at.
The floor started shaking, and I slid a bit before the compensators kicked in.
Embarrassed, I picked my self off of the floor in front of the prince.
I am sorry, my prince, I said, knowing in a distant part of my mind that there would be another hit an instant later. . .
Then, I was even further back than that, back to when they asked whether I wanted to be on the mission. A special case; I was a low-ranking aristhan. . .a female in the military, which was unheard of. . .but also Alloran's child. The only one certainly alive.
. . .accept the mission?
Yes.
I looked at the one who asked me the question. He sneered at me. He was an Andalite; he didn't have a mouth. But he still managed to sneer.
Very well. It was no longer the officer in charge; it was Visser Three. On the Homeworld!
No, it was the Yeerk Pool. I knew that others were dying around me. I tried to move, to fight, but I couldn't. There was a presence in my head. . .was no presence.
Maddening.
I felt my now human, now Laman, self bow in homage to the Visser.
No. No!
A ball of white light came up behind me. I turned, fighting the Yeerk in my head, fighting myself, and grabbed the radiant globe.
My body started burning. Burning more than anything that I could imagine!
I closed my eyes and fell. . .
Then I was awake. In my bed. I looked at the window, at my clock. 3:24 A. M. An hour at which no person should be forced awake. Yet here I was, completely aware. Nine and a half hours after I first hit the sack.
I wasn't going to be able to sleep. That I knew.
I found myself opening the window. With my knife, the same clothes that I had been wearing when I went to bed.
I couldn't control what I was doing. My hands and arms were no longer my own. Yet there was nothing in my head. I could tell; I was able to move only my eyes.
I put one leg out of the window to climb over. . .
No! I wanted to stay in bed!
You think you can escape? I suppose you haven't learned.
I found that I could move again. But there were images in my head. Humans being infested. Andalites dying. An Andalite who betrayed the People. On a ship, near a faraway planet- Leera? I wasn't sure.
But Andalites didn't do that! It had never happened before. . .
A traitor, among your fellow people. You will join him. You will join the traitors!
I shook my head furiously.
Yes. You will destroy your friends.
I was heading towards the window again. With the knife.
You have destroyed your friends!
No way out. A traitor. I was a traitor.
A loud shrill sound. A ringing that filled my ears. An alarm clock.
My alarm clock!
I opened my eyes and found that I was still in bed. Morning light was streaming into my room from gaps in the curtains.
I burrowed my face in my pillow. No way could I get up. . . it was as if I hadn't slept at all. . .
Still, I had to go to school. Like any other day.
With a groan, I stood up and walked out of my room, still dressed in the clothes that I had fallen asleep in, clothes that really needed to be changed; they were filthy.
Aunt Claire was in the kitchen, drinking coffee and humming. She looked up as I came in and murmured a "good morning."
"Angela, are you feeling all right?"
"I. . .uh. . ." I didn't want to go to school, I really didn't, but then the others might think that I was abandoning them entirely. Which I didn't want.
"I'm fine. Really. I just didn't. . . didn't sleep too well. I'm sorry if I've worried you. . ." I headed towards the door.
"Um, sweetie? Shouldn't you change into something more. . .appropriate? Or clean?" She gestured towards my clothes.
"Right. . .change. I almost forgot. Thanks, Aunt Claire." I raced up the steps, changed, and headed to school, dragging my backpack behind me.
Now, I'm sure that everyone has days that they don't want to go to school. Maybe there's some homework that isn't done, or perhaps their best friend is peeved with them. But this was the first time I'd seen everyone after a battle. No one was happy, or smiling, or even very awake. .
We look like soldiers ready to fight a war, I thought as I sat at lunch, watching everyone. I was sitting with Marco and Rachel, going over the science homework. Our voices were hollow as we discussed how lichens reproduce, as Marco made some comment about the cafeteria serving lichens for lunch. The laughs that followed were hollow, too, but they made me feel a bit better. Gallows humor, I suppose. You had to laugh, or you would cry. And never stop. I guess everyone had to deal with it in their own way. Cassie stayed kind, held on to what was normal. Rachel got angry, but tried to hold it in. Ax seemed to do the same, only less. Tobias. . .well, who knew with Tobias? Marco joked. He kept everyone going. He kept me going. Then there was Jake. . .
I couldn't really figure him out. . .why he hated me so much. . .what made him tick. He was the leader of the only resistance here on Earth; he had to make decisions that were hard. It was his right to be moody, but he wasn't. Except to me. I swear, it was like he didn't even want me around. . .
Still, I was under his orders, and, although I would never admit it, I was still an aristh, still a child in that respect. If he gave an order, I'd have to follow it.
I shuddered at what he might order me to do, then started laughing at the thought of calling him "Prince Jake" like Ax did.
Rachel and Marco stared at me as I laughed for no apparent reason. Then, Rachel looked at Marco, expecting him to make a joke. He seemed about to, he really did. But I wasn't stopping. . .
It would funny if I called Jake "Prince Jake." And if I turned out to be wrong about this entire mission. A traitor. And if I died in battle for it, that would be the most hilarious punch line of all. Like a form of divine justice. Comical.
I vaguely felt hands on my shoulders. A shaking throughout my body. Shaking. I was being shaken. Marco was shaking me.
He was in front of me, looking at me. No mocking on his face. That was something pretty new to me. I'd only seen that look once before, when I had fallen next to the Yeerk Pool in the Antrim's dimension. Then it had been a briefly worn mask; now it was lasting.
"Come on Angel, shake it off. Get a grip!"
It would be funny. . .it was funny. . .
"Stop it!"
I stopped and stared at Marco as he yelled that. I could still feel the giggles rising.
This wasn't funny; it was war. Not funny at all.
I closed my eyes for a second and trembled, aware that Marco had stopped shaking me. He was still grasping my shoulders.
I grabbed his hands and threw his arms off with more force than I had intended. I saw him almost lose his balance in his chair as I stood and left the cafeteria and went into the hallway.
I wasn't thinking straight; maybe I was losing it, I didn't know. When I came to my locker, I stopped to get the clothes out I had brought. No way was I staying at school for the rest of the day.
"What are you doing?"
I turned at the sound of the voice, and nearly decked the speaker. It was Marco. He was standing right behind me. Blocking my escape.
I stuffed the clothes into my backpack and looked him in the eye. It involved looking up slightly; he was now an inch taller than I.
"Marco, step off. . ." I practically growled at him.
"The last person who told me that ended up being a real jerk. I hope this isn't a warning sign or something," he replied calmly.
"I can't stay here, and you can't stop me from leaving. You don't understand. . ."
"Yep, I understand just perfectly. You're completely into the whole self-pity/hatred thing. You lost it for one second, and now you're going to go brood. Just like your namesake."
I didn't reply.
"I'm right, aren't I?"
"Just move it," I said quietly.
"We've all been through it. We've all had our moments of total insanity- some of us have made it permanent. I get that you're not happy. So get over it, Angel, and-"
"Stop it! That's not my name. My name is Kit; not Angel, not Angela, not even Katya anymore. So don't call me that!
"You say you understand," I continued, "but there is no way you could. You all know where you stand; you know where you fit into this war and what you have to do. I don't know any of that. I don't even know my freaking name!"
"Fine. I don't get it. But think about this: if you skip school and come home injured, all on the same day there's a problem at the Yeerk Pool, they're going to suspect something. They'll catch you. Man, a sign on your back that says 'I'm an Animorph' would work just as well. And it would be just as stupid as this self-pity stuff!"
I closed my eyes. He was right. Marco was right. I'd be fine. I didn't need to skip school. I could see Rachel coming up behind him, her eyes filled with anger at me.
"All right. I'm sorry. I'm fine now." I put the clothes back into my locker. "I'm not going to leave."
"That's good; I need to copy your answers on the test."
The bell rang, and kids started streaming into the hallway. Marco started to leave.
"One last question- what's an 'Animorph?'"
"Us. We're the Animorphs. The people who have to save the world." He noticed the quizzical expression on my face.
"Hey, you're stuck with us now. You're part of this luxurious and exclusive little group."
He walked away. I started for gym, thinking about what he said.
I was part of the group, according to him. But only to him. Not to Jake, the leader.
"No, I'm not," I whispered in response. But he could not hear me.
6
I can't really say anything about the rest of the school day. I took the test, and went to gym. The test was the same one from last year, so I aced it. I didn't go insane again. The day wasn't about school. It's what happened later. . .
We all met at the mall after school. I suppose Tobias brought Ax or something, because everyone was there. Ax was eating fries or something; I don't remember what. The taste really got to him. I smiled at the look of novelty on his face.
We had a plan. It wasn't the best plan, but it should have worked well enough. It would work well enough.
As far as the Yeerks were concerned, I was still a Controller. They just didn't know who I was, who I really was, who I went to school as. So I could go through security easily. And if one person can get through the filters, they can carry others with them if the others are touching and well, well hidden.
I'd offered to do the mission alone. It would only take one person to get in, to see what needed to be seen. Jake refused.
He didn't give a reason, just said no. And I could tell, without asking him, that he didn't trust me. What he'd thought I'd do, I don't really know, not even now. Maybe betray him to Visser Three.
Cassie and Jake went with me. As fleas. On my hand. Disgusting.
Getting this set up was difficult. First, I went into the bathroom and switched into my old body, then walked back to the table. That was Jake's cue to go with Marco to the bathroom, and for Cassie to go with Rachel. Ax, Tobias, and I waited at the table for them.
When Rachel and Marco came back, they were each carrying Cassie and Jake, respectively. When they told me they were on me, I headed for the Gap dressing room.
What happened in there. . . after I entered the Yeerk Pool. . .horrible..
I will not give the boring details of getting inside. I got in, with both Jake and Cassie. Only this is important. Only this matters. The plan worked.
And I wish to all heaven and hell that it hadn't.
We stood in the entry way, past the filter. Because both of them were in contact with my skin, we got past the filter without incident. Then, after Cassie and Jake had demorphed, and Jake had morphed Tom, we continued down the corridor.
The Yeerk pool was Hell. Nothing had changed since we'd been down there last. the same screams, the same cries of despair. And the same steel pier where the Yeerks returned to the hosts.
We weren't looking at that, however. We were looking for a specific object. One that I had described to Jake and Cassie in as much detail as I could manage.
We couldn't see it. But we did see what some of the guards were doing to the people in the cages. People that we'd seen before at school or on the street. It wasn't pretty. It was bloody. Very bloody.
I felt anger flare up deep inside as I saw Hork-Bajir cutting people who were cursing, rattling the cages in hope of escape, and praying. I looked from Jake to Cassie. Both of them had similar looks on their faces. Except that Cassie's face was growing fur as she stepped back into a sheltered area.
I looked at her with a mixture of shock and understanding. Jake just appeared shocked, but he too stepped back and began to demorph.
Cassie finished first; she has a natural talent for morphing. She stepped forward, and I drew my by-now-all-too-familiar-knife. I looked at her and raised my eyebrows, and she gave a low growl.
We rushed forward determined to punish the guards.
7
One of the Horks saw us. He drew a Dracon Beam.
Most Horks are not crack shots with a Dracon Beam. Their eyesight isn't good enough.
This one was. The Dracon beam hit Cassie.
I heard the impact before I saw it. It was a "tssseeew," followed by a quick intake of breath and a hissing sound of steam. And then, the silence.
Too much silence. No more breathing. None!
I could see where the beam made it's impact. The head. A deadly spot. Neurons fried, instant death.
Dead. Cassie was gone.
I clenched my jaw and dropped to the ground to avoid his next shot. As the shot went over me, I laid next to Cassie. And I shuddered on the ground, and felt the rage go through me, and imagined killing the guard, and watching him scream and beg for his life because he killed my friend!!
My legs and arms propelled me up and onto the guard with unnatural strength. I had him on the ground, pinned for a moment, and I took the Dracon Beam from his hand and I shot him in the head. Simple. Easy. Traditional. Revenge.
Then I got off of the still Hork-Bajir Controller and went to Cassie's side. Jake was gently pulling her off to the side in his tiger morph. He clung to some hope. He thought she was still alive.
I knew better. The Laman hunted. I could tell the difference between a dead body and a living body. This was a dead body.
We have to get her out of here!!!
Jake. . .
Take her. We have to go now!
Jake, listen. . .
Take her!!!!
Jake, she's. . .we have to go.
She is not-
She is. Come on. I made my thought-speak as emotionless as possible. I didn't want him to hear the little tremor in my voice and the rage that I still held.
We ran towards the exit that led into the woods. It was where we planned to exit. Everyone would be waiting there.
We ran up and up. I looked behind me at the Yeerk Pool, scanning it one last time
Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed hope. . . then we turned a corner and it was gone.
We made it out of there. Jake was still a tiger, and there were rips in my shirt soaked with blood.
I looked at him, my breathing ragged. I willed him to be able to grieve and get it over with. I wished for Cassie to find peace, and for Jake to feel. . .
He growled at me.
There was a blur of orange and black, then he was on me.
8
Jake was on me, trying to rip my throat out. I placed my left arm over it, and hoped that he wouldn't rip it to shreds.
I was vaguely aware of thought-speak in the background, of motion around me, and of a searing pain in my arm.
It seemed like a lifetime until Jake was off of me. I sat up and took stock of my injuries.
Not good. I could see the bone of my arm. Major pain. I ignored it.
Where's Cassie?! Angry thought-speak. Rachel's.
Jake didn't answer. He only began to demorph.
Rachel kept on demanding, Where's Cassie?!
Marco. Jake, man, what's goin' on? Kit?
He didn't answer, and I didn't answer. He demorphed, and I sat there. Neither of us spoke a word.
Finally, when he finished demorphing, he spoke in a tortured voice.
"She's dead." Two words, which neither of us had dared to speak before. But they changed everything.
I could hear the cries of despair and grief that followed. If I wanted to, I could choose to feel them, and let them affect me.
I didn't. I held my mind on one object; the white sphere I had glimpsed on the way out. I held my mind on it and only thought of what it could do. I knew that no one could read anything on my face.
The others demorphed. Rachel was shaking. Tears were streaming down her face, and were welling up in Marco's eyes. Tobias and Ax weren't crying, but Ax's stalk eyes were lowered, and Tobias was focused on a tree trunk.
Jake just looked angry. He glared at me, and the look he gave me would have melted steel.
I turned away, a pitiful sight to behold. I looked bloody, disheveled, and cold.
I looked like a murderer, and that was what Jake saw me as. Cassie's murderer.
"Go."
"I-"
"Just go!"
"I'm not going to give up just be-"
"You are a traitor; and you caused Cassie's death. You're too dangerous to have around. You're another David; a rotten-"
"Jake-" Marco started forward towards him.
"You are not going to defend her because you like her, Marco. It's not going to work. She killed Cassie. She-" He broke down, too angry and too sad to finish.
Marco stepped back.
"Go. Now." Jake got the words out between dry sobs.
I looked from one face to the other; I saw no sympathy. Rachel looked almost as angry as Jake now. Ax avoided my gaze at all cost, but was shaking slightly. And Tobias's fierce glare was now directed at me.
Marco avoided my gaze, just as Ax did. I was only able to catch his eye once. I saw relief. Only relief, and sorrow for Cassie. Then a brief spark of something, and he broke eye contact.
I turned away from all of them and went back to my form as Angela. The change healed all the wounds I had, but left me even weaker than before.
I started walking, stumbling home, eyes cast towards the ground. Unlike the others, I no longer felt any sorrow over Cassie's death.
I knew that I could use the white sphere, the Time Matrix I'd glimpsed on the way out, to bring her back. Even without the others' help.
9
I went straight home. Right to my bedroom. I claimed to be tired, dragged out, stressed and depressed. I told Uncle Hugh and Aunt Claire that I'd sleep it off and that I'd be better in the morning.
Not that morning was going to come anytime soon for me.
As soon as it grew dark, truly dark, I crawled out of my bed and changed into comfortable clothes. Sneakers, jeans, a T-shirt. The basics. I'd done the same on the nights when I would break into the Animorph's rooms.
But now I didn't want to break into their rooms. I wanted to get to the Yeerk Pool. I wanted to get to the Time Matrix.
I wanted to right what was wronged.
The night sky was clear; the moon shone through the window and the curtains and into my room. It glinted off the blade of the knife I was holding.
I stood in front of the mirror in my room, closed my eyes and bowed my head. I recited familiar words to the night, and they came out changed.
I am the servant of the People, of which I am no longer one. I am the servant of my prince, whom I defy with my actions.
My thoughts dwelled on the sky. I paused, then continued.
I am the servant of honor, which I do not have.
An honorable person wouldn't have caused the death of a friend.
My life is not my own, when the People have need of it. Even if the People think I am gone. My life is given for the People, for my prince, and for my lost honor.
Now would be time to draw my tail-blade to my throat. But I no longer had a tail-blade. . .
I raised the knife in my hand to my throat and looked up at the mirror.
The blade shone silver in the moonlight, drawing attention away from my face. But I still stared into my own eyes, trying to find the remains of a lost Andalite in there. I searched the mirror and looked for Katya-Semitur-Trintan
I found nothing there.
It would be so easy to drag the blade across there. A quick slash at my jugular. A flash of pain, then the void. And this whole thing wouldn't be my problem.
It would only take a slight movement. . .
I ripped the knife away from my throat. I had a job to do.
With a sigh, and a slight growl of unsated need for something, I walked over to the window and opened it.
A bird flew in as I leaned out!
I jumped back, surprised and alarmed. Who was it. . .
Kit, don't-
Which one are you?
The smart, funny, cute one. The voice was strained in forced humor.
Marco?
He began to demorph. Yeah.
What are you doing here?
You were about to do something stupid. I know it.
You were spying on me; you don't trust me.
No, I wasn't watching- Just then he lost the ability to thought-speak.
I waited for him to finish demorphing.
"I wasn't watching you do that!" He was whispering furiously.
Then why are you even here?
"I don't know. I really don't. All I know is there's some way to get the Yeerks back, and you're going to try it. I want to help."
He doesn't blame me for. . .
"Everyone else is mad at you. And at me. But not as much as at you."
Yeah, I heard. I'm 'another David.' Whatever that means.
"It means. . ."
It means you shouldn't be here. It means that you need to go home. And it means that I'll kill you if I think you're going to be in the way. I bared my teeth in a snarl and advanced on him.
Leave! I was only a foot away from him, and I knew that my eyes were completely cold as I let out a low growl.
Fear flashed in his eyes for a nanosecond, then a grin spread across his face.
There was laughter. Marco was laughing at me.
I could possibly rip his head off and play checkers with his vertebrae, and he was laughing at me.
And I was beginning to smile in return.
"You're not going to do it."
Oh, I'm not? I tilted my head and tried to keep from grinning. Or crying. Either could have come easily.
"You're not, and you're stuck with me."
Then follow me. The words came out empty. It didn't really matter.
We both went out the window and faced the cold night.
10
We reached the entrance in the woods at about eleven. I'd led us on a roundabout path, going up and down the still streets. We'd walked for hours, and passed the same buildings several times.
I wanted to make sure that no one would trace us to Aunt Claire and Uncle Hugh. If my plan failed, and they found where I'd lived, they would find themselves at the wrong end of the steel pier before morning's first light. And they didn't deserve that.
I knew that there would be a guard on the entrance, and no filter despite our recent infiltration.
I didn't plan to use subtlety. I motioned for Marco to stay back, then crept forward and struck the guard on the back of the head.
I could feel his skull shatter underneath the blow, and I knew that he no longer breathed as he hit the ground.
Marco didn't. He only saw me hit the guard, and only heard the soft noise as he hit the forest floor. It didn't occur to him that he might be dead.
It had to be done, though. If he woke up and called the alarm on us. . . then they'd know. And I'd never get to where I needed to go.
There was only the slightest nagging voice in the back of my head as we walked past the guard and into the passageway to Hell.
We walked down the stairs, and I kept my hand ready to grab my knife. Every noise caused us to jump.
"Angel?" I heard the whisper behind me, calling me something I'd asked not to be called.
Quiet; they'll hear us.
"Did you kill Cassie?"
I lowered my eyes, and concentrated on the ground in front of me. I didn't want to answer his question. It was better for him to be afraid of me. It was better for that note of fear to be in his voice than for him to follow me into my final battle. . .
It would be good if he hated me.
It would kill me if he hated me.
No. A Hork-Bajir. . . it. . .
I sent him the images mentally. The torture of the guards. The face of the Hork-Bajir. The blast, then the hissing, then the silence.
The feel of the Dracon beam in my hand as I shot him. The rage, then the penitence I'd felt. I sent all of it to him.
"Oh. . ." he whispered quietly. "You didn't. That's what everyone thinks. That's what Jake told them."
It's better that way, though. It's better for them to hate me and stay away. It's safer.
"Oh, please! It's not better for them, or for you. You look terrible!"
Gee, thanks.
"I mean, your eyes are so. . .I don't know, hollow. Like you're empty."
Maybe I am. . . They had to stay out of this, as far away as possible. And that meant everyone, including Marco.
My hand grabbed my knife, and it flew towards Marco. With a swift, calculated movement, I hit him in the back of the head.
Not hard enough to kill him, or even crack his skull. But hard enough to knock him out for a long while. Long enough for me to accomplish what I needed to do.
There was a fairly deep depression on the side of the path. The shadows inside were deep enough to hide him.
I carried his unconscious form to the depression and left him within, carefully placed.
He'd wake up safe.
11
I went down the path, shaking and hollow.
What I'd done was necessary. I had to do what I needed to do.
I had to hurt my friend. Friends now got in the way, were too weak to be concerned with.
I had to do it. . .
A hand on my shoulder! I jumped and turned.
The hand belonged to a tall guy, with a look of authority to his face. Jake. And just behind him, a blonde with ice blue eyes. Rachel.
They were going to kill me. . . .
No, they weren't. Jake's expression was strained, and Rachel had the fierce look of anticipation.
I shrunk back, seemingly afraid.
Hello.
"We heard you talking to Marco. We know what you said." Jake's voice was flat. "I thought that you'd killed her. I didn't know that it was the Hork. So I'm sorry. For trying to. . ."
How did you know I was here?
"We followed Marco," Rachel replied.
"The guy's predictable. We knew he'd go check on you."
I shifted, suddenly awkward.
". . .we just can't figure out why you hit-"
"Ow. . .man. . ." I heard the voice from behind me. As I spun around, I saw Marco, holding his head.
How could he be conscious so soon?
Rachel laughed. "Guess he has a hard head," she said.
"Watch it, Xena!"
I smiled. He was already thinking straight, and having him here was oddly comforting.
Where are Ax and Tobias? I asked.
Right here. I heard a voice in my head.
Tobias, I thought, distracted. Andalites don't say "right here."
They began to demorph, and soon there were an Andalite and a hawk where there had only been two insects.
Oh, I said.
Jake looked at me, for the first time without anger in his eyes.
"What do you want us to do?"
I was startled, and scared. He wanted my orders. My advice.
But I couldn't give it. My advice only worked when one person was involved. It only worked with me.
And I worked alone.
I want you to leave, I said. I want you to go away, and let me do this. I focused on making my thought-speak absolutely cold.
I told Marco that I'd kill him if he'd follow, and now I know that I can. I can kill. Especially a bunch of stupid, foolish humans.
I'd maybe felt warm and happy before. But now I was clear again. I knew that I had to do this alone. . .
And it looked like I would. Rachel looked like I'd slapped her. So did Marco. Especially Marco. There was silence again from Tobias and Ax.
But Jake still looked at me with a cool glare. And shook his head.
He's not buying it. . .
Suddenly, voices in the corridor! And a pair of eyes. . . more than one.
They saw us!
Marco looked at me, the stunned expression gone. He looked at me like he was never going to see me again. His eyes were wide, childlike. Slowly, he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed, once, gently.
Then he shoved me backwards. Hard, into Jake and back within a depression. I fell backwards on top of Jake and into the deep shadows. Hidden.
The controllers fired their weapons. On stun. Rachel, Ax--they both fell. Tobias fell, his hawk form smoking.
Jake started forward, ready to attack. I held him back, and shut my eyes as the final Dracon blast hit Marco. He fell, still, but breathing. I could feel wetness on my cheeks as I though spoke furiously to Jake.
Listen, Jake, I can undo this. And I know that right now, you just want to attack, and I have no authority to stop you. But if you do, they will find me, and then everything will be lost. So just stay still!
The knotted muscles of his arms relaxed, and he stopped fighting me.
The Controllers dragged the others out, but left Tobias. Tobias was no longer moving.
As soon as the noises disappeared, Jake whispered to me.
"What's your plan?"
12
I told him everything about the Time Matrix. All the things I knew about it and that it could do. How it could be used to alter the past. How I had no idea of what I would do next.
He just nodded until I was finished. Then he spoke.
"If you run for it in that body, they won't notice, not right away, and not if there's a distraction. It'll give you time to get there. But it won't be much. They'll be able to catch me pretty quickly."
"It shouldn't take long to work. And I know where it is."
"Then we go. Now." He stepped forward, and I followed as he began to morph tiger.
It was a simple plan. Jake was the bait, and he would draw the guards off of the small, unassuming, human girl.
There was no guarantee that he would live. And none that I would live. But after I explained that it would erase everything I'd done and bring Cassie back, he agreed that it was something that had to be done.
We reached the doorway, and Jake, fully morphed, let out a soul-shattering roar.
The Controllers looked at him. I ducked to one side, and Jake ran , dodging their blasts.
I ran along the jagged rocks, ignoring the protests of my shins and arms, which were bleeding from various falls.
Still, no one looked at me. They all concentrated on Jake, and figured that I was a Controller.
Up ahead of me was the white sphere. Jake was growing tired.
Hurry up! he called. You don't have much time left!
I ran to the white sphere.
Suddenly, a hand wrenched my arm back in a very familiar way. . .
"Let me go, Jared. You don't want any part of this." I kept my voice calm.
His grip didn't loosen. "I think maybe I do."
I glared at him, eyes flashing. Stupid Yeerk.
Stupid human. . .
Not human.
Barinot, you let me go right now! Do it, and fight!
His face went blank, and his grip loosened. He was shaking.
Katya?
Yes. I pulled away and put my hand on the Time Matrix and concentrated on the ship, before it would land. . .
Jared's. . .Barinot's. . . hand joined mine on the Time Matrix. I saw a brilliant flash out of the corner of my eye, and knew that Jake was dead.
I still concentrated, trying to get back. . .
The world spun once among chaos, then was dark.
13
I was suddenly everywhere. And nowhere. I could see inside and outside, and everywhere.
Next to me. . .near me. . .somewhere. . .was Jared. . .Barinot?- no, just Jared. I could see the inside of him, too.
Ew, sick, a small, detached part of me thought.
DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU ARE HERE?
I jumped. What was that voice???
Then it all came back to me. The Andalite Homeworld. The battles on Earth. The Ellimist. . .
Because you don't understand my plan!!!
. . .and the Antrim.
We're here because we touched the Time Matrix. Because she touched the Time Matrix.
I was startled at hearing his voice in my head like that. But, of course, if I could use thought-speak, so could he.
YOUR PLAN IS NOT WORKING, ANTRIM.
My plan will bring the Yeerks to the Isk-
AND IT WILL DESTROY THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Some things are necessary. They need to be done for the good of all beings.
You're not going to write off the human race like that! I yelled in rage. You aren't!!!
You, as a pair of Andalites, should understand this. It's for the greater good. Don't you realize that???
I know that a planet full of sentient beings is a lot, Jared said, sounding much more calm than I felt. They can't just be sacrificed.
And I know that three of my friends are dead! And that the rest will be Controllers. They've given everything to save-
But this way will stop the Yeerks! The two of you are only part of a greater plan. . .
ANTRIM, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THEM. CAN YOU DO THAT TO AN ENTIRE RACE?
I felt a. . .a presence. Looking over me. Dissecting me, and seeing everything. The memory of going dark and cold. The hell of being a Controller. The rage and anger that came with loss.
And he looked at Barinot as well, and saw what being a Controller for God knows how long had done to him.
This one- he began, focused on Barinot with shock in his voice. Then he reconsidered his words. Nothing.
I influenced the Andalite Electorate to make that mission to Earth. But Ellimist can easily undo it. It's up to you two. His voice was a resigned sigh.
Yes, I thought.
If we do. . .does it change all this? Barinot asked. Will my brothers live?
I surpressed a smile. By "brothers," he meant my friends.
It will be as if your mission had never occurred. The Time Matrix will not be revealed at this time. And, yes, your friends will be safe. A pause. But they will not know you anymore. Do you realize that??? There was the slightest note of sadness in his voice.
I couldn't answer. I knew that, by erasing my past on Earth, I would cease to exist in their minds. That I'd be even less than a memory to them. And I understood that this offer was coming from the being that had tortured me. The evil being. . .
You're not really evil, are you? You're actually an Ellimist. . .is your name-
Do you realize that? His voice was not severe at all as he repeated himself.
Yes. I said.
AND DO BOTH OF YOU AGREE?
Both of them saw us, awaiting our answer.
Yes, we said at the same moment. Barinot's voice held enthusiasm and relief., but my voice held only sadness. I was leaving everything. . .everyone. . .for a home that I'd neglected for what seemed like an eternity.
And it was the only honorable thing to do.
YOU WILL RETURN TO WHERE YOUR PATHS BEGAN TO DIVERGE.
Suddenly, the insides and outsides of everything began to fade. I was leaving what I thought of as my body. . .
There was a voice in my head. The same voice that had taunted me, that made me attack in the stealth cover of night's darkness, was in my head again.
I did not know what it would do to you. I did not know that it would hurt you. An apology, of sorts. Easy apology.
Is your name Antrim? I asked.
You still ask too many questions. A mental smile and laugh. It's not over for you yet.
What?
You'll see. But don't trust anyone; you're not out of my reach, yet.
I don't see myself anywhere else.
I saw a picture in my head, and gained a certain knowledge in my heart as the multi-dimensional land was replaced by a familiar world, on the day I'd accepted the mission. On a day where there would be no mission offered.
Countless light-years from her true home, Katya-Semitur-Trintan smiled with her eyes for what seemed, to me, to be the first time.
