Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I don't have any money. Don't sue me.

Warnings: This will eventually be slash. Uh. that's about it.

Author's notes: Oh, I do so love it when you wonderful people review! ^-^ From now on though, I'll answer individual questions at the bottom of the fic so you won't have to scroll through a huge block of text at the beginning.



Bliss



TALK! Male bonding is best with chocolate ice cream.



Dib had spent most of that afternoon in his room. He left skool with the intention of not coming home until as late as humanly possible, but then he remembered that there was nothing to do in this city during the day except drink coffee and brood. Which he did, but it didn't help. He ended up going home, tossing the carefully wrapped Gameslave on Gaz's bed and holing himself up in his room.

Presently, he was playing with his favorite knife. It had a silver blade, and the handle was pewter, in the shape of a dragon. He bought it for protection against werewolves. He twirled it around four times, threw it up and caught it twice, and gently sliced the air once. Then he began the motions over again. It gave him something to concentrate on instead of...never mind.

When Gaz came home after school, she knocked on his door and offered a feeble apology. Like it would help. He told her so as well, that it would take a lot more than an apology to set things right. He broke her Gameslave, but she broke his freedom. At skool, at least. He wouldn't have cared if he didn't have to see them every day, and Gaz didn't understand that. No one did. It was useless to try and take back what she said. They wouldn't care now. All they wanted was a scapegoat. Someone to blame for societies' ills. Gaz made him that scapegoat, and forgiveness would be long in coming.

He could still hear their laughter and taunts in his head.

Ha, ha, ha. FAG! Laughter, shouts, tapping.wait a minute. Tapping? Coming from.his window? This was different. When Dib opened his window, he found out just how different it was.

"ZIM?!"

"Hello Dib."

Zim swung gracefully into Dib's room.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might want to talk about what happened today."

"No, Zim, why are you REALLY here?"

"I read that humans feel better if they discuss their problems with a confidante. I brought.iced cream."

"What makes you think I'd want to talk with.ice cream?"

"I also read that sharing problems over a cardboard tube of chocolate.iced cream.is a typical human bonding ritual. Was I wrong?"

"No Zim, but what made you think I'd want to talk with you?"

"I assumed that your current depression has something to do with Gaz telling the whole skool that you are gay, which I recently discovered means homosexual. Since you don't seem to associate socially with anyone other than Gaz and myself and Gaz was the one who started the rumor, I thought I would be a good choice."

Dib's head was spinning by now. Zim wanted to talk to him? Zim, in fact, did research on how to talk to him. Right down to the ice cream...but he was still unsure.

"Zim, talking about this will only make me feel worse."

"Worse?" Zim tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, "Or.better?"

Dib heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Probably better, but you wouldn't understand."

"Oh, no. The evil alien invader would never understand pain. Dib, let me ask you something. Who is it those filthy, hormone-ridden grease factories pick on in your absence?"

"Point taken."

"Good. Then speak."

Zim dragged Dib across the room, sat down on his bed and opened the ice cream.

"I cannot believe I'm doing this," Dib said, "but I suppose you're better than nothing."

"I love you too Dib. Now tell me why this situation upsets you so."

"Come ON, Zim. You saw how they acted."

"I did, but I didn't understand. Homosexuality is.bad.on this planet?"

" You didn't draw that conclusion for yourself?"

"Well, on my planet, if a relationship absolutely must be formed, homosexual ones are encouraged. We believe if you are fighting alongside one you love, you will fight ten times harder."

"How ancient Greece of you."

"I know."

"How would YOU know?"

"Dib, do you honestly think I could spend six years on a planet without learning anything of its history?"

"Touché."

"Good. Now, I suppose you feel that Gaz betrayed you."

Dib took a moment to swallow his ice cream and replied,

"You know, considering you're a power-hungry alien freak, you're pretty intuitive."

"I try. Let me guess again. You thought she was the one person you could trust. You told her everything, she understood and you thought she'd NEVER take that for granted or abuse it in any way?"

"How are you doing this?"

"I've had my share of betrayal, Dib."

"You? But I didn't think."

"And that would be the problem with most of your species. I did have a life before I came to this germy trash heap."

"But.betrayal? And you STILL act like that?

"Act like what?"

"You know. All.Zimmy."

"That was a great help to me. In the future, I will try to act less Zimmy."

"You know what I mean!"

"How we act isn't always how we feel."

"Zim,"

"Yes?"

"Stop making so much sense. You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry. GET AWAY FROM MY SHIP, EVIL DOOM BEES! Better?"

"Not really, no."

"You're very high-maintenance, Dib."

"I have a right to be. So, who betrayed you?"

If there was anything Zim had expected from this visit, it certainly wasn't to spill his guts to Dib. His research said that he might be expected to share back, but how much? Oh, what the hell? He and Dib were equals, and he was confident that the information wouldn't be used against him in any lasting way.

"Well, back on Irk."

"Irk?"

"Yes, Irk."

"Irk. Irk, as in: to annoy."

"What's your point, Dib?"

"It just baffles me that humanity's biggest threat comes from a planet whose name means 'to annoy'."

"In Irkan, it means 'strength'. Can I continue? Good. On Irk, our leaders, the tallest."

"Tallest?"

"They are taller than everyone else."

"Wait.is that how you judge authority?"

"Yes. Are you quite done?"

"On second thought," Dib muttered, "let's not go to Irk. 'Tis a silly place."

"Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"I'm sorry. I'll stop talking now."

"Alright. The tallest are supreme, and it is an honor to be trusted by them. Just remember that. I was.one of the smallest of my race. Being short on Irk usually means you are denied certain rights and opportunities. Often the shorter members of society are confined to menial jobs, bookkeeping and the like. You can imagine my surprise when I, someone so tiny, was chosen by the tallest themselves to be a part of Operation: Impending Doom."

"You know, I almost can. Almost."

"What happened to not talking?"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, I was inexperienced in REAL invasion, and in my excitement, I." Zim drooped his head and his voice, "kind of.destroyed the business district of my own planet."

Dib snorted, then quickly buried his mouth in a pillow.

"Dammit Dib! I put the fires out! Why does no one ever think I put the fires out?!"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. Go on."

"In short, I was banished. But I quit that when I heard about Operation: Impending Doom 2."

"You quit being banished?"

"That's it. I'm not telling the story anymore. Let's wallow in some of your misery."

"No, no. Please. I really want to hear this. It's nice to know someone else knows what I'm going through, it's just that not many people quit being banished."

"Okay, but one more word, and I'll be forced to remove your tongue. I'll get to the point. My Tallest sent me here to get rid of me. At first I thought I was being honored with a second chance, but halfway here, I realized different. They didn't know if there was a planet here or not, and they were hoping I would die. My equipment was all sub-standard, and my robot slave was built out of trash, but I came here anyway, in hopes I could prove my worthiness. I was recently told not to call until I conquer Earth. 'For security reasons', of course."

Zim looked down at his lap.

"I know what it feels like to be betrayed."

"Zim.I."

"DON'T. If you pity me, I'll leave."

" I won't. Thank you for telling me. Now I know we're on the same wavelength."

"Good. You talk now. I'm tired of it."

"For once."

"What was that, human scum?"

"Nothing, space jerk. This wouldn't bother me so much if they had found out on their own.but Gaz told them. I never thought that she was capable of something like this. It just.makes me lose faith, I guess. If I can't trust Gaz, I can't trust anyone."

"I hope you feel you can trust me."

"I do. For some twisted, psychologically wrong reason, I do."

"Good."

"I just.can't see any way out of this. If I go back to skool, they get to insult me some more. If I just give up and kill myself."

"KILL YOURSELF?!"

"It's your turn to not talk now. If I kill myself, I'll be reduced to a gay rights martyr and live forever in their minds as 'that faggot who committed suicide.' Everything I could possibly do would give them some sort of satisfaction. Sometimes I think I should just give up and act like them."

"If you do Dib, I'll kill you."

"I thought you'd be happy if I did that. I wouldn't be in your way anymore."

"So far Dib, you are the only person on this planet that I don't consider to be a disgusting, inbred moron. If you started to act like them, you'd be taking away the only thing about this planet I like."

"You.like.me? Nononono.no. Zim, we hate each other, remember? We try to kill each other."

"Yes. That is precisely why I like you. You are my equal, my only equal. If you were an Irkan, you would have been a fine invader, and a good friend."

"Know what, Zim?"

"What?"

"I like you too. And I feel a lot better now."

It was weird, but he really, really did. And to think, it was all thanks to Zim, who was leaning over and.oh god, kissing him on the cheek!

"Wha-wh- Zim!"

"Is it not Earth tradition to end a bonding session with a kiss on the cheek?"

"Sometimes.yes. But usually only very close friends do stuff like that."

"Are we not friends? I assumed that we were friends, since you chose to disclose your feelings to me."

Friends? Were they.friends? Zim was the only one who bothered to ask how he felt about this.

"Yeah," He replied, giving Zim a hug, "we're friends."



(Further) Author's Notes: Woot! That took longer than expected. I cleaned for a veeeeery long time today, which turned my brain into a huge puddle of goo. MiracleChick: Thanks for pointing that out! I get a bit wordy sometimes without realizing it. I'm still having trouble seeing it though.I'd love you forever if you could let me know, by email (Chevy3@home.com) or other means, where you noticed it? Zharlight: Is everyone still IC? Arm&Leg: I'm using my Jedi mind powers to heal your ankle. Mirage DeDreamer: That was the nicest compliment! Thank you! Everyone: Yup, still going! I'm back to skool after this weekend, though, so updates might be a little more time between updates as of Monday. *sigh* Only a semester and a half to go!