Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I don't have any money. Don't sue me.
Warnings: Slash.
Authors notes: Thanks again to my reviewers. Wow, thanking you guys has become a tradition, hasn't it? Please ignore all the stupid page breaks.they.destroy me, but I can't take the out because my comp won't let me. Aaaaaaand now, the moment you've all been waiting for *drumroll* the date! Since it's kinda late, I wrote a pretty long scene, in which no words are spoken, because (well, at least I think) it makes for an intense kiss when no one says anything. Okay, enough talky from me.
DATE! What should I wear?
Halfway home, Zim realized something. He had no clue how to act on a date. He knew all about traditional dating rituals, but he had done no research on traditional dating behavior. Thank god Dib gave him a ride home. Now he had that much more time to research what to do. What Zim didn't count on was a snag named Gir. No sooner than he got in the door, Gir came barreling into the living room.
"MAAAAASTER! I MADE LANGOS!"
Zim suddenly found his face smothered in some sort of grainy, greasy, bread-like substance.
"Gir! What is this.FILTH?"
"Langos! Eat one!" Gir started to dance around the room. "Lango, lango, lango lango. LAAAAAANGO!"
Zim wiped as much of the sweet-tasting stuff off his face as he could, and turned to face the still dancing Gir.
"GIR! I am going to wash my face, and then I will be in my lab doing veeeeeeery important research. I need you to stay out of the way. Can you do that?"
"YEAAAAAAAAAH! Wait.nooooo."
"Gir, I have a very important DATE Friday, and I need to research how to act. If you cannot stay out of my way, it will ruin the date. Do you understand?"
"MASTER! YOU HAVE A DATE! WHOZE YOU DATING? WHO? I LOOOOOVE YOU MASTER!"
Gir leaped up and attached himself to Zim's head. Zim started flailing around trying to shake off the tiny embodiment of sugar.
"ARGH! GIR! I'M GOING ON A DATE WITH DIB! NOW GET OFF MY HEAD!"
"Dib-human? I liiiiike Dib-human! WHY IS HIS HEAD SO BIG?"
"His head's not so big anymore, Gir."
"His head shrunk?! NOOOO!"
"More like.he grew into his head."
"You can grow into your head? HEEEEAAAAD!"
Gir ran screaming back into the kitchen, and Zim used the opportunity to escape to the bathroom so he could wash the gunk off his face. After the long, arduous process of scrubbing what felt like sugar from his face, he retired to his lab to complete his research.
"Computer! What information do you have on human dating behavior?"
"Human dating behavior: four sections."
"Open the first section."
"Section one: First impressions. Human adolescents often enter the domain of their date's home to be introduced to the date's parental units. A small gift is usually given to the person who did not initiate the date."
"Open section two."
"Section two: Movie dates. Movie dates are sometimes an excuse to partake in the activity known as 'making out'."
"Define 'making out'."
"Making out: The touching of lips, used to derive pleasure."
"Oh. Kissing. Why didn't you just say that?"
"I didn't feel like it."
"GRR. Abominable thing. Continue."
"Kissing is almost always initiated by bodily contact of other sorts, and does not always take place in the movie theatre. Bodily contact includes but is not limited to: touching of hands, the placement of an arm around the mate's shoulders, hand-to-leg contact.."
Zim was imagining doing all this to Dib by now. He had to remind himself of his research.
"ENOUGH! Open section three."
"Section three: Coffee date. The couple adjourns to a beverage distribution unit and partakes of a hot, bitter liquid. This type of date usually entails in-depth conversation."
"Section four."
"Section four: Ending the date. If kissing does not occur at the movie or beverage distribution unit, it is considered appropriate to take place at the date's doorstep. It is an accepted way of saying 'good night'."
"Hmmmm.Computer, resume normal security functions."
"Affirmative."
Zim had had no idea that he was expected to bring a gift. True, he hadn't initiated the date, but he WAS picking Dib up. He wasn't sure what to think about the coffee, either. Gir drank coffee once, and it was scary beyond belief. He decided he would just follow Dib's lead, but buy him a gift on his own. He had already thought of the perfect gift.
***
Meanwhile, Dib was in his room, becoming increasingly more frustrated at the growing pile of clothes on his bed.
"What.should.I.WEAR?! Oh, this is so much harder than Zim makes it look!"
His blue shirt was out, and the bout of unseasonable warmth they'd been having was coming to an end, so he had to wear something warm, but sexy. He moaned in defeat and flopped facedown on to his bed. Right on top of the perfect shirt to wear on his date! He forgot he even owned it! It was a tight, black, silky T-shirt with triangles cut in the sides and across his chest, covered with black mesh. Suddenly it all came together. He could wear the T-shirt with his tight leather pants, because it was a thin, tight shirt and it wouldn't look disproportionate. He would wear his ankle boots instead of his knee-highs so he could put the pants over them. He could wear dragon necklace and his silver waist chain as finishing touches! All Zim's "teaching" had really paid off! Not that Zim would ever know. He still liked having Zim dress him.
Zim and Dib spent Thursday like they spent the rest of the week. They passed notes in Biology, ate outside, had animated conversations and arguments and drove to and from skool together. Both eagerly awaited Friday night, which came, as it usually does.
Dib was still getting dressed at seven, the appointed date time. He borrowed some glittery.stuff from Gaz's makeup drawer and had just finished smearing small globs onto his cheeks when he heard a knocking at the window. He rolled his eyes.
"Zim, don't you ever use the door?" When he opened the window, however, he saw why Zim hadn't.
"What is that?"
"This, Dib, is my Voot Runner, and our transportation for the evening."
Zim was floating outside Dib's window in a compact, purple.hovering. thing.
"Come on, hop in."
He did. Upon his entrance to the Voot Runner, Zim thrust a small green plushie in his face.
"An.alien doll?" Indeed, it was, and it looked just like Zim. "It's so cute! I love it. Thanks, Zim."
"Well, I saw it, and thought you needed something green to beat up."
"What about you?"
"Kinky." Zim smirked.
"I don't think you can handle it."
"Oh, I beg to differ. Now, tell me where we're going. I'm not familiar with the social venues in this city."
***
Zim drove like a maniac. One would expect that from someone who picks them up in a tiny spaceship, but one would not expect to nearly collide with several building tops and pedestrians. In succession. Finally, they got to the Movie Theatre and Zim pulled off a perfect parking job. Upon parking, wheels, hubcaps and everything else it needed to look like a normal car popped out of the bottom, sides and top of the Voot Runner. When they got out, Zim locked the door with a very normal looking key control and they walked into the theatre.
***
Dib paid for the tickets and Zim paid for the snacks, which he didn't partake of. The movie was "Blood-sucking Alien Gut Thingies 7" with Jean Claude Van Damme. From the beginning, Zim could tell it was going to be terrible, so he decided to concentrate on Dib, who looked scrumptious tonight. The computer said that some couples."made out" at the movies, but he didn't think that would be appropriate in public, considering the.masculine characteristics.of the couple. They were in the darkest corner of the back row of the theatre, but he didn't think Dib would appreciate the attention, regardless. He would settle for putting his arm around his shoulders.for now. When he did, Dib stiffened for a minute, then, to Zim's delight, relaxed again and put his head on Zim's shoulder. He grinned and rested his own head on top of Dib's.
The movie ended too soon, and yet not soon enough. Zim was immensely enjoying cuddling with Dib, but at the same time, his head would have exploded if he had to sit through one more second of that terrible, inaccurate movie. The aliens reminded him of the slaughtering rat people. He didn't even want to talk about it, so he thought of new topics of conversation on the way to the coffeehouse. Well, at least he was enjoying the coffee that Dib made him try.
***
After coffee, the boys migrated to makeout creek, ironically, the highest cliff in town. Dib could never comprehend why it got a name like makeout creek, but he didn't care enough to think about it. He was enjoying the view (and company) too much. It was odd, but he and Zim hadn't talked about the movie since they left it, although they talked nonstop about other things.
"Are all earth movies like that?"
He had spoken too soon.
"It's sad, but a lot of them are. Some of them are worse."
"WORSE? How could anything possibly be worse than that? He copulated with the vomiting girl!"
"Some things are a lot worse. Remind me to tell you about Bukake one of these times."
"Well, it WAS funny when they all got eaten."
"A good point. What did you think of the aliens? Realistic?"
"Maybe on Blorch."
"Blorch?"
"The slaughtering rat people from the planet Blorch. They're.pretty much exactly the same as the aliens in that movie."
"Really? I would assume that most aliens are smarter than that."
"You'd be surprised. There's a reason that irkens are the most successful conquerors in the galaxy."
"But they haven't conquered Earth."
"Yet. It's only a matter of time. I have plans. Big plans."
Dib cocked his head.
"Big plans? What plans are these? Tell meeeeee." He opened and closed his hands in parody of Zim's "gimme" pose.
"Why, so you can foil them? We've never done that before. You'll just have to figure them out for yourself."
"Aww, but we're dating now. Foiling your plans a little faster just means more makeout time."
"Nice try. Unless you feel like helping me, you'll have to find out when the rest of humanity does."
"You're no fair! No Dib love for you." Dib turned away and pretended to pout, knowing full well that Zim didn't really have a plan, and if he did, it would fail, thanks to him, just like always. It was a comforting thought, actually. Zim would always annoy him to some degree.
"Hmmm.is that Jupiter?" Zim pointed to a particularly bright star.
"I think it is. It's nice, isn't it?" Dib rested his head on Zim's shoulder. "Does this thing have a sunroof?"
"Even better." Zim pushed a button and the Voot Runner's roof retracted into the back. He pushed another button and the front of the vehicle turned into a love seat of some sort. Dib put his feet up and rested his back against Zim's arm.
"That is impressive."
"I know."
They spent a few minutes in silence, content to watch the stars. Dib had to shift a few times to find a position that stayed comfy for more than a few minutes. He ended up with his back on Zim's chest and his head nuzzled just under Zim's chin. He closed his eyes and smiled. When he opened his eyes, Zim was kissing him all of a sudden. Dib hadn't even felt him move, but there he was, pressing his lips firmly against Dib's own. Dib vaguely wondered if Zim had some sort of head teleporting technology before he let go of all rational thought and threw himself into the kiss with zeal. Zim's tongue snaked out, parting Dib's delicate pink lips. It was like nothing he could have imagined. Zim's tongue wasn't reptilian, like he had originally thought. No, it was smooth and cool, like marble, and just a little bit moist. He sat up, turned his body to face Zim's and straddled his lap, trying as hard as he could to avoid the loss of lip contact.
The irken caressed Dib's face and dragged a finger, oh so slowly, down his neck. Dib shivered as Zim lightly scratched a trail down his spine, stopping right above the waistband of his pants and tracing little spirals. His other hand clutched a Dib's back, pulling him as close as possible. Dib slid forward on Zim's lap a little, and reached behind his head a little, running his hand up Zim's neck. He got closer to the top, expecting to find antennae, but instead got a handful of.wig? No, this won't do. He reached over and pushed the button Zim used to bring the roof down. The roof came back up. Dib ripped the wig off Zim's head and sensually ran his fingertips up an antenna, taking pleasure in the fact that Zim shuddered under him when he did it. He gently massaged the tip of it for a moment, then moved on to the other one. Zim, by now, was in raptures. Dib broke the kiss (finally), smirked evilly and lightly kissed the base of the left one. He could practically feel Zim melt. He kept this up for a minute, until he felt Zim tense under him, a feral rumble coming from his throat. He grabbed Dib's shoulders and shoved him down on the seat. It was Zim's turn to smirk evilly as he proceeded to ravish Dib. He flushed prettily, realizing that they would be there for quite some time. Both boys considered this to be a very good end to their date.
(Further) Author's notes: Whee! Well, there's another chapter to come, actually, right after this one. And, a weird thingy here, no one had comments or questions to answer.
Warnings: Slash.
Authors notes: Thanks again to my reviewers. Wow, thanking you guys has become a tradition, hasn't it? Please ignore all the stupid page breaks.they.destroy me, but I can't take the out because my comp won't let me. Aaaaaaand now, the moment you've all been waiting for *drumroll* the date! Since it's kinda late, I wrote a pretty long scene, in which no words are spoken, because (well, at least I think) it makes for an intense kiss when no one says anything. Okay, enough talky from me.
DATE! What should I wear?
Halfway home, Zim realized something. He had no clue how to act on a date. He knew all about traditional dating rituals, but he had done no research on traditional dating behavior. Thank god Dib gave him a ride home. Now he had that much more time to research what to do. What Zim didn't count on was a snag named Gir. No sooner than he got in the door, Gir came barreling into the living room.
"MAAAAASTER! I MADE LANGOS!"
Zim suddenly found his face smothered in some sort of grainy, greasy, bread-like substance.
"Gir! What is this.FILTH?"
"Langos! Eat one!" Gir started to dance around the room. "Lango, lango, lango lango. LAAAAAANGO!"
Zim wiped as much of the sweet-tasting stuff off his face as he could, and turned to face the still dancing Gir.
"GIR! I am going to wash my face, and then I will be in my lab doing veeeeeeery important research. I need you to stay out of the way. Can you do that?"
"YEAAAAAAAAAH! Wait.nooooo."
"Gir, I have a very important DATE Friday, and I need to research how to act. If you cannot stay out of my way, it will ruin the date. Do you understand?"
"MASTER! YOU HAVE A DATE! WHOZE YOU DATING? WHO? I LOOOOOVE YOU MASTER!"
Gir leaped up and attached himself to Zim's head. Zim started flailing around trying to shake off the tiny embodiment of sugar.
"ARGH! GIR! I'M GOING ON A DATE WITH DIB! NOW GET OFF MY HEAD!"
"Dib-human? I liiiiike Dib-human! WHY IS HIS HEAD SO BIG?"
"His head's not so big anymore, Gir."
"His head shrunk?! NOOOO!"
"More like.he grew into his head."
"You can grow into your head? HEEEEAAAAD!"
Gir ran screaming back into the kitchen, and Zim used the opportunity to escape to the bathroom so he could wash the gunk off his face. After the long, arduous process of scrubbing what felt like sugar from his face, he retired to his lab to complete his research.
"Computer! What information do you have on human dating behavior?"
"Human dating behavior: four sections."
"Open the first section."
"Section one: First impressions. Human adolescents often enter the domain of their date's home to be introduced to the date's parental units. A small gift is usually given to the person who did not initiate the date."
"Open section two."
"Section two: Movie dates. Movie dates are sometimes an excuse to partake in the activity known as 'making out'."
"Define 'making out'."
"Making out: The touching of lips, used to derive pleasure."
"Oh. Kissing. Why didn't you just say that?"
"I didn't feel like it."
"GRR. Abominable thing. Continue."
"Kissing is almost always initiated by bodily contact of other sorts, and does not always take place in the movie theatre. Bodily contact includes but is not limited to: touching of hands, the placement of an arm around the mate's shoulders, hand-to-leg contact.."
Zim was imagining doing all this to Dib by now. He had to remind himself of his research.
"ENOUGH! Open section three."
"Section three: Coffee date. The couple adjourns to a beverage distribution unit and partakes of a hot, bitter liquid. This type of date usually entails in-depth conversation."
"Section four."
"Section four: Ending the date. If kissing does not occur at the movie or beverage distribution unit, it is considered appropriate to take place at the date's doorstep. It is an accepted way of saying 'good night'."
"Hmmmm.Computer, resume normal security functions."
"Affirmative."
Zim had had no idea that he was expected to bring a gift. True, he hadn't initiated the date, but he WAS picking Dib up. He wasn't sure what to think about the coffee, either. Gir drank coffee once, and it was scary beyond belief. He decided he would just follow Dib's lead, but buy him a gift on his own. He had already thought of the perfect gift.
***
Meanwhile, Dib was in his room, becoming increasingly more frustrated at the growing pile of clothes on his bed.
"What.should.I.WEAR?! Oh, this is so much harder than Zim makes it look!"
His blue shirt was out, and the bout of unseasonable warmth they'd been having was coming to an end, so he had to wear something warm, but sexy. He moaned in defeat and flopped facedown on to his bed. Right on top of the perfect shirt to wear on his date! He forgot he even owned it! It was a tight, black, silky T-shirt with triangles cut in the sides and across his chest, covered with black mesh. Suddenly it all came together. He could wear the T-shirt with his tight leather pants, because it was a thin, tight shirt and it wouldn't look disproportionate. He would wear his ankle boots instead of his knee-highs so he could put the pants over them. He could wear dragon necklace and his silver waist chain as finishing touches! All Zim's "teaching" had really paid off! Not that Zim would ever know. He still liked having Zim dress him.
Zim and Dib spent Thursday like they spent the rest of the week. They passed notes in Biology, ate outside, had animated conversations and arguments and drove to and from skool together. Both eagerly awaited Friday night, which came, as it usually does.
Dib was still getting dressed at seven, the appointed date time. He borrowed some glittery.stuff from Gaz's makeup drawer and had just finished smearing small globs onto his cheeks when he heard a knocking at the window. He rolled his eyes.
"Zim, don't you ever use the door?" When he opened the window, however, he saw why Zim hadn't.
"What is that?"
"This, Dib, is my Voot Runner, and our transportation for the evening."
Zim was floating outside Dib's window in a compact, purple.hovering. thing.
"Come on, hop in."
He did. Upon his entrance to the Voot Runner, Zim thrust a small green plushie in his face.
"An.alien doll?" Indeed, it was, and it looked just like Zim. "It's so cute! I love it. Thanks, Zim."
"Well, I saw it, and thought you needed something green to beat up."
"What about you?"
"Kinky." Zim smirked.
"I don't think you can handle it."
"Oh, I beg to differ. Now, tell me where we're going. I'm not familiar with the social venues in this city."
***
Zim drove like a maniac. One would expect that from someone who picks them up in a tiny spaceship, but one would not expect to nearly collide with several building tops and pedestrians. In succession. Finally, they got to the Movie Theatre and Zim pulled off a perfect parking job. Upon parking, wheels, hubcaps and everything else it needed to look like a normal car popped out of the bottom, sides and top of the Voot Runner. When they got out, Zim locked the door with a very normal looking key control and they walked into the theatre.
***
Dib paid for the tickets and Zim paid for the snacks, which he didn't partake of. The movie was "Blood-sucking Alien Gut Thingies 7" with Jean Claude Van Damme. From the beginning, Zim could tell it was going to be terrible, so he decided to concentrate on Dib, who looked scrumptious tonight. The computer said that some couples."made out" at the movies, but he didn't think that would be appropriate in public, considering the.masculine characteristics.of the couple. They were in the darkest corner of the back row of the theatre, but he didn't think Dib would appreciate the attention, regardless. He would settle for putting his arm around his shoulders.for now. When he did, Dib stiffened for a minute, then, to Zim's delight, relaxed again and put his head on Zim's shoulder. He grinned and rested his own head on top of Dib's.
The movie ended too soon, and yet not soon enough. Zim was immensely enjoying cuddling with Dib, but at the same time, his head would have exploded if he had to sit through one more second of that terrible, inaccurate movie. The aliens reminded him of the slaughtering rat people. He didn't even want to talk about it, so he thought of new topics of conversation on the way to the coffeehouse. Well, at least he was enjoying the coffee that Dib made him try.
***
After coffee, the boys migrated to makeout creek, ironically, the highest cliff in town. Dib could never comprehend why it got a name like makeout creek, but he didn't care enough to think about it. He was enjoying the view (and company) too much. It was odd, but he and Zim hadn't talked about the movie since they left it, although they talked nonstop about other things.
"Are all earth movies like that?"
He had spoken too soon.
"It's sad, but a lot of them are. Some of them are worse."
"WORSE? How could anything possibly be worse than that? He copulated with the vomiting girl!"
"Some things are a lot worse. Remind me to tell you about Bukake one of these times."
"Well, it WAS funny when they all got eaten."
"A good point. What did you think of the aliens? Realistic?"
"Maybe on Blorch."
"Blorch?"
"The slaughtering rat people from the planet Blorch. They're.pretty much exactly the same as the aliens in that movie."
"Really? I would assume that most aliens are smarter than that."
"You'd be surprised. There's a reason that irkens are the most successful conquerors in the galaxy."
"But they haven't conquered Earth."
"Yet. It's only a matter of time. I have plans. Big plans."
Dib cocked his head.
"Big plans? What plans are these? Tell meeeeee." He opened and closed his hands in parody of Zim's "gimme" pose.
"Why, so you can foil them? We've never done that before. You'll just have to figure them out for yourself."
"Aww, but we're dating now. Foiling your plans a little faster just means more makeout time."
"Nice try. Unless you feel like helping me, you'll have to find out when the rest of humanity does."
"You're no fair! No Dib love for you." Dib turned away and pretended to pout, knowing full well that Zim didn't really have a plan, and if he did, it would fail, thanks to him, just like always. It was a comforting thought, actually. Zim would always annoy him to some degree.
"Hmmm.is that Jupiter?" Zim pointed to a particularly bright star.
"I think it is. It's nice, isn't it?" Dib rested his head on Zim's shoulder. "Does this thing have a sunroof?"
"Even better." Zim pushed a button and the Voot Runner's roof retracted into the back. He pushed another button and the front of the vehicle turned into a love seat of some sort. Dib put his feet up and rested his back against Zim's arm.
"That is impressive."
"I know."
They spent a few minutes in silence, content to watch the stars. Dib had to shift a few times to find a position that stayed comfy for more than a few minutes. He ended up with his back on Zim's chest and his head nuzzled just under Zim's chin. He closed his eyes and smiled. When he opened his eyes, Zim was kissing him all of a sudden. Dib hadn't even felt him move, but there he was, pressing his lips firmly against Dib's own. Dib vaguely wondered if Zim had some sort of head teleporting technology before he let go of all rational thought and threw himself into the kiss with zeal. Zim's tongue snaked out, parting Dib's delicate pink lips. It was like nothing he could have imagined. Zim's tongue wasn't reptilian, like he had originally thought. No, it was smooth and cool, like marble, and just a little bit moist. He sat up, turned his body to face Zim's and straddled his lap, trying as hard as he could to avoid the loss of lip contact.
The irken caressed Dib's face and dragged a finger, oh so slowly, down his neck. Dib shivered as Zim lightly scratched a trail down his spine, stopping right above the waistband of his pants and tracing little spirals. His other hand clutched a Dib's back, pulling him as close as possible. Dib slid forward on Zim's lap a little, and reached behind his head a little, running his hand up Zim's neck. He got closer to the top, expecting to find antennae, but instead got a handful of.wig? No, this won't do. He reached over and pushed the button Zim used to bring the roof down. The roof came back up. Dib ripped the wig off Zim's head and sensually ran his fingertips up an antenna, taking pleasure in the fact that Zim shuddered under him when he did it. He gently massaged the tip of it for a moment, then moved on to the other one. Zim, by now, was in raptures. Dib broke the kiss (finally), smirked evilly and lightly kissed the base of the left one. He could practically feel Zim melt. He kept this up for a minute, until he felt Zim tense under him, a feral rumble coming from his throat. He grabbed Dib's shoulders and shoved him down on the seat. It was Zim's turn to smirk evilly as he proceeded to ravish Dib. He flushed prettily, realizing that they would be there for quite some time. Both boys considered this to be a very good end to their date.
(Further) Author's notes: Whee! Well, there's another chapter to come, actually, right after this one. And, a weird thingy here, no one had comments or questions to answer.
