Disclaimer: As much as I would like to have Zim to snuggle, I don't own him
or any other pertaining characters. Should Mr. Vasquez decide to sue me,
all he would get is a spooky doll and a closet full of bondage midgets, as
they're the only money-worth things I DO have.
Warnings: Slash. And sap, in this chapter anyway.
Author's notes: I'm back from the dead! For the past couple of weeks, I've had horrible, crippling brain grease that prevented me from writing anything good. But now the grease has lifted. Thanks to my awesome reviewers, yet again! You guy are great. I'd also like to publicly apologize to Ztarlight for constantly spelling her name wrong. The letters "T" and "H" are usually interchangeable in my mind, so that's why it happened. Now, some of you have probably participated in the little flame war we've had going lately. I'm not going to put up any more opinions in the fanfiction section, but I posted an article about it in my livejournal, so if you want to read it, here's the address: www.livejournal.com/users/xelith.
Bliss
"With that, he turned away and left for home. He had a lot of thinking to do."
DECIDE! Dib's aggravating logic!
And think Dib did. Oh, the thoughts he thought. At first, he tried to go about it logically, making charts, entering data into his computer, analyzing Zim's plan for Earth down to the most minute detail. He even stooped to making a Pros/Cons list. He was becoming very, very aggravated. He was on his second day, and still wasn't any closer to figuring out what would be right. He heaved a mighty sigh, sat down on his bed and went over the points in his mind again.
Point 1: Zim's plan for humanity. It was a logically sound plan. Still, he didn't like the idea of slavery. He liked the idea of equal opportunities to rise in rank and position, but not if those opportunities involved starting as slaves. The odd thing was Dib thought it was a well planned….. plan, an efficient one. A plan that had a high probability of working. Earth needed an overhaul, that was for sure. His research from various classes in history and ancient civilizations showed a trend that connected the downfall of civilizations to lack of resources. That meant that humanity on a whole was on it's way out. Zim was right when he pointed that out. To save ITSELF, humanity would have to learn resource management, and fast.
Point 2: Obliteration of humanity's control of the planet. Did humanity even DESERVE to control the planet? They were doing a pretty good job of screwing it up. The people in authority didn't deserve to be there. Another thing Dib had realized over the years was that authority isn't based on what you can do, it's based on who you know, and in some less developed countries, who you can kill. Too many governments hoarded their money and left their people in the streets to starve. More wealthy countries used up resources, natural and otherwise, without remorse and with very little thought to what would happen when they ran out. Irken control would be strict and violent, but better for the environment, at least Dib gathered that, from his research.
Point 3: Consequence/Rewards for saving Earth. Dib wasn't even sure if he COULD turn Zim in, after all that had happened. What would his life become if he had to chase Zim again, forever foiling the plots everyone else refused to see? He would never regain the happiness he had felt on and off for the past few weeks. And what would happen if Zim got caught? He would get shallow media attention for a year or so, having to tell the tale of his "heroic capture" of the alien over and over until some other scandal came along and left him forgotten and unhappy.
Point 4: Power. Zim offered Dib a chance to rule Earth by Zim's side, which definitely meant power. Continue chasing Zim, and he would likely remain powerless, even if Zim were captured.
Point 5: His family. This was a conflicted subject for him. To Dib, Gaz and his father didn't really feel like family. Gaz always antagonized him, and Dad was never around, which left him with feelings for them as…. roommates. Roommates he didn't know well enough to miss if they were gone. Yet at the same time, they were his family, and the only constant in his life other than Zim was loyalty to his family. For a long time, his family and the paranormal were all he had. Zim guaranteed they'd be safe as long as they didn't start any revolutions, but Dib was still questioning whether he was prepared to make such a sacrifice.
Humanity was clearly losing here, but something in Dib still gnawed at him to save it. Logically, humanity was going to screw itself over, and siding with the irkens…. no, Zim, would be the sensible choice. But still…..
Dib growled in frustration. He was getting sick of his feelings getting in the way of his perfectly graphed logic. Why couldn't anything ever just be EASY? His mind told him that this was not an easy decision. Dib smiled when he realized that he had acknowledged that his mind was speaking to him. Zim always told him he over-thought everything.
"Fine." Dib muttered to himself. "Let's try this 'feelings' thing."
Humanity. What did he feel about humanity as a whole? Dissatisfaction was the first thing that came to mind. Humanity, as a whole, sucked. People just couldn't tear their thoughts away from eliminating independence from the hive. Thoughts, style, independent anything, really. Any difference from the norm that wasn't politically correct. The kids at skool scorned him, not because he didn't try to make friends with them, but because he was different. Because he was capable of independent thought. Sorrow was another. He felt sorry for those who had to suffer at the hands of someone who didn't deserve all they had. Anger. Humanity kept him down at every turn. As soon as he recovered from one blow, the sent another one in the form of ignorance, hatred and scorn. Humanity helped shape him into the near-suicidal wreck he was for the first two years of high skool. The only thing that kept him from going through with it was Zim. His goal, his equal. The last feeling, though, was hope. Hope that had dimmed over time, lurking in the back of his mind. Ever since he was a kid, he had hope that one day, humanity would accomplish great things. Space exploration, contact with other species, as much peace and love that humanity would allow. Years of hate had withered this hope, but it still existed. Something big could bring humanity together, and make them accomplish those things he KNEW they were capable of, but age brought him the knowledge that it would never happen in his lifetime.
Zim. Zim was the only one who cared about him. In animosity or love, Zim acknowledged him. He always had, from day one. He was the only one. All the other kids at skool ignored him, or shunned him. When Zim came, Dib felt like he had a purpose again. Zim became his life. Dib rarely thought of anything else. He hated Zim with all the mental power he could muster up. Now, that passion had changed direction, and he loved Zim with all his heart. He loved the feel of Zim's arms around him. He loved those crimson eyes, extremely expressive when Zim wasn't wearing his contacts. He loved Zim's determination, his drive, his ambition. He was intelligent, too, with a biting sense of humor that had developed over many years of banter with Dib. He loved Zim's skin, the softness of it, the way Zim's antennae felt when he dragged his hand across them. He loved the way Zim would grudgingly play with Gir, making a scene, even when they all knew that really, Zim loved Gir like his own child. Dib loved Zim's pride, his loyalty, his honor, his confidence and all that stuff that made Zim….. Zimmy.
Thinking like this always turned Dib into a big sap. He couldn't help it, really. Zim gave him some of the best memories of his life. He chuckled when Zim came to skool covered in meat, way back in the sixth grade. He was awestruck when the tiny irken managed to sell one million candy bars. When he tried to brainwash the principal in middle skool, among thousands of other plots, and the easiness their rivalry developed by tenth grade in high skool. Their daily fights and bantering were usually the high point of Dib's day. Zim gave him such a high when he was around. Hostile or not, whenever Dib was around him, the rest of the world disappeared.
But humanity still nagged at him. The one time he was trying to ignore it, it turned around and bit him in the ass. He walked over his window and stared for a bit, mulling things over, and recalling the time Zim took him for a "guided tour" of Mars, Dib's favorite planet. It was out there, shining and tinted red the slightest bit. Dib gazed at it for a moment then slammed his window shut. He'd solved his dilemma, and the solution was going to hurt him. A lot. But it had to be done.
****
Zim listlessly scrubbed the toilet-elevator in his kitchen for the sixth time in two days. Just like the rest of the house. Anything to keep him busy while he waited for the inevitable. Dib was bound to choose Earth. He knew that when he put forward the ultimatum, but he clung to his stupid hopes that maybe, just maybe, Dib would change his mind. He wondered if Dib knew how nerve-wracking this was for him.
"Master?"
Zim looked up from his cleaning.
"You're cleaning again, master. Are the germie-germs back?"
"No, Gir. You wouldn't understand."
"Aww." Gir cocked his head to the left, his eyes lifting in a kind smile. "Master's sad. I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED!" With that, Gir launched himself at Zim's head, and Zim managed to stand up just in time for Gir to land in his midriff instead. "I LOVES YOU MASTER! I loves you almost as much as cupcakes!"
Zim allowed himself a rare, Gir-directed smile. Gir really was his only friend, aside from Dib, whom he probably wouldn't have for much longer. He sighed and allowed Gir to crush his waist. For once, "someone" did need a hug.
****
Dib walked up to Zim's door, uncertain steps guiding him. He took a deep breath, and assured himself that this was the right decision; his heart and mind agreed.
Zim was broken from his thoughts when a soft, but self-assured knock on the door reached his ears. Dib's knock. But it was two days early…..He went to answer the door.
"Zim."
"Dib. Come in." Zim felt bleak when he saw the anguish in Dib's eyes. He was certain this was going to be bad. "You're early."
"I didn't need the whole three days."
"So?"
Dib took a deep breath and steeled himself. This was the decision that would alter his live forever, and if he was going to go through with it, he would have no regrets.
"Zim, you're the most important thing in the world to me."
Zim noticed that small pockets of tears were starting to form in the corners of Dib's eyes, and that he was desperately trying to hold them back.
"I love you, Dib. Remember that, and do what you have to do."
"You're important to me. More important than anything else."
"So what does that mean?"
"I'll join you, Zim."
(Further) Author's notes: IT'S DONE! Now I feel empty and ficless…Well, I've got a sequel brewing in my head and a bunch of one-shots as well. What to write, what to write? Curious: Thanks for the crash course in lango- dancing. You knew of my horrible brain grease, but I hope I didn't keep everyone waiting TOO long. Fatalonie: I don't KNOW. *Blinks cutely* I'm saving that for the next fic, I suppose. Also, I guess it got kind of serious for Gir to be in a lot. I've got a little comedic rompy-thing planned, though, and Dib's going to talk to Gir in that one. Well, I hope you guys liked it! Aforementioned comedic romp will probably be the next thing, but it fits into this timeline.
Warnings: Slash. And sap, in this chapter anyway.
Author's notes: I'm back from the dead! For the past couple of weeks, I've had horrible, crippling brain grease that prevented me from writing anything good. But now the grease has lifted. Thanks to my awesome reviewers, yet again! You guy are great. I'd also like to publicly apologize to Ztarlight for constantly spelling her name wrong. The letters "T" and "H" are usually interchangeable in my mind, so that's why it happened. Now, some of you have probably participated in the little flame war we've had going lately. I'm not going to put up any more opinions in the fanfiction section, but I posted an article about it in my livejournal, so if you want to read it, here's the address: www.livejournal.com/users/xelith.
Bliss
"With that, he turned away and left for home. He had a lot of thinking to do."
DECIDE! Dib's aggravating logic!
And think Dib did. Oh, the thoughts he thought. At first, he tried to go about it logically, making charts, entering data into his computer, analyzing Zim's plan for Earth down to the most minute detail. He even stooped to making a Pros/Cons list. He was becoming very, very aggravated. He was on his second day, and still wasn't any closer to figuring out what would be right. He heaved a mighty sigh, sat down on his bed and went over the points in his mind again.
Point 1: Zim's plan for humanity. It was a logically sound plan. Still, he didn't like the idea of slavery. He liked the idea of equal opportunities to rise in rank and position, but not if those opportunities involved starting as slaves. The odd thing was Dib thought it was a well planned….. plan, an efficient one. A plan that had a high probability of working. Earth needed an overhaul, that was for sure. His research from various classes in history and ancient civilizations showed a trend that connected the downfall of civilizations to lack of resources. That meant that humanity on a whole was on it's way out. Zim was right when he pointed that out. To save ITSELF, humanity would have to learn resource management, and fast.
Point 2: Obliteration of humanity's control of the planet. Did humanity even DESERVE to control the planet? They were doing a pretty good job of screwing it up. The people in authority didn't deserve to be there. Another thing Dib had realized over the years was that authority isn't based on what you can do, it's based on who you know, and in some less developed countries, who you can kill. Too many governments hoarded their money and left their people in the streets to starve. More wealthy countries used up resources, natural and otherwise, without remorse and with very little thought to what would happen when they ran out. Irken control would be strict and violent, but better for the environment, at least Dib gathered that, from his research.
Point 3: Consequence/Rewards for saving Earth. Dib wasn't even sure if he COULD turn Zim in, after all that had happened. What would his life become if he had to chase Zim again, forever foiling the plots everyone else refused to see? He would never regain the happiness he had felt on and off for the past few weeks. And what would happen if Zim got caught? He would get shallow media attention for a year or so, having to tell the tale of his "heroic capture" of the alien over and over until some other scandal came along and left him forgotten and unhappy.
Point 4: Power. Zim offered Dib a chance to rule Earth by Zim's side, which definitely meant power. Continue chasing Zim, and he would likely remain powerless, even if Zim were captured.
Point 5: His family. This was a conflicted subject for him. To Dib, Gaz and his father didn't really feel like family. Gaz always antagonized him, and Dad was never around, which left him with feelings for them as…. roommates. Roommates he didn't know well enough to miss if they were gone. Yet at the same time, they were his family, and the only constant in his life other than Zim was loyalty to his family. For a long time, his family and the paranormal were all he had. Zim guaranteed they'd be safe as long as they didn't start any revolutions, but Dib was still questioning whether he was prepared to make such a sacrifice.
Humanity was clearly losing here, but something in Dib still gnawed at him to save it. Logically, humanity was going to screw itself over, and siding with the irkens…. no, Zim, would be the sensible choice. But still…..
Dib growled in frustration. He was getting sick of his feelings getting in the way of his perfectly graphed logic. Why couldn't anything ever just be EASY? His mind told him that this was not an easy decision. Dib smiled when he realized that he had acknowledged that his mind was speaking to him. Zim always told him he over-thought everything.
"Fine." Dib muttered to himself. "Let's try this 'feelings' thing."
Humanity. What did he feel about humanity as a whole? Dissatisfaction was the first thing that came to mind. Humanity, as a whole, sucked. People just couldn't tear their thoughts away from eliminating independence from the hive. Thoughts, style, independent anything, really. Any difference from the norm that wasn't politically correct. The kids at skool scorned him, not because he didn't try to make friends with them, but because he was different. Because he was capable of independent thought. Sorrow was another. He felt sorry for those who had to suffer at the hands of someone who didn't deserve all they had. Anger. Humanity kept him down at every turn. As soon as he recovered from one blow, the sent another one in the form of ignorance, hatred and scorn. Humanity helped shape him into the near-suicidal wreck he was for the first two years of high skool. The only thing that kept him from going through with it was Zim. His goal, his equal. The last feeling, though, was hope. Hope that had dimmed over time, lurking in the back of his mind. Ever since he was a kid, he had hope that one day, humanity would accomplish great things. Space exploration, contact with other species, as much peace and love that humanity would allow. Years of hate had withered this hope, but it still existed. Something big could bring humanity together, and make them accomplish those things he KNEW they were capable of, but age brought him the knowledge that it would never happen in his lifetime.
Zim. Zim was the only one who cared about him. In animosity or love, Zim acknowledged him. He always had, from day one. He was the only one. All the other kids at skool ignored him, or shunned him. When Zim came, Dib felt like he had a purpose again. Zim became his life. Dib rarely thought of anything else. He hated Zim with all the mental power he could muster up. Now, that passion had changed direction, and he loved Zim with all his heart. He loved the feel of Zim's arms around him. He loved those crimson eyes, extremely expressive when Zim wasn't wearing his contacts. He loved Zim's determination, his drive, his ambition. He was intelligent, too, with a biting sense of humor that had developed over many years of banter with Dib. He loved Zim's skin, the softness of it, the way Zim's antennae felt when he dragged his hand across them. He loved the way Zim would grudgingly play with Gir, making a scene, even when they all knew that really, Zim loved Gir like his own child. Dib loved Zim's pride, his loyalty, his honor, his confidence and all that stuff that made Zim….. Zimmy.
Thinking like this always turned Dib into a big sap. He couldn't help it, really. Zim gave him some of the best memories of his life. He chuckled when Zim came to skool covered in meat, way back in the sixth grade. He was awestruck when the tiny irken managed to sell one million candy bars. When he tried to brainwash the principal in middle skool, among thousands of other plots, and the easiness their rivalry developed by tenth grade in high skool. Their daily fights and bantering were usually the high point of Dib's day. Zim gave him such a high when he was around. Hostile or not, whenever Dib was around him, the rest of the world disappeared.
But humanity still nagged at him. The one time he was trying to ignore it, it turned around and bit him in the ass. He walked over his window and stared for a bit, mulling things over, and recalling the time Zim took him for a "guided tour" of Mars, Dib's favorite planet. It was out there, shining and tinted red the slightest bit. Dib gazed at it for a moment then slammed his window shut. He'd solved his dilemma, and the solution was going to hurt him. A lot. But it had to be done.
****
Zim listlessly scrubbed the toilet-elevator in his kitchen for the sixth time in two days. Just like the rest of the house. Anything to keep him busy while he waited for the inevitable. Dib was bound to choose Earth. He knew that when he put forward the ultimatum, but he clung to his stupid hopes that maybe, just maybe, Dib would change his mind. He wondered if Dib knew how nerve-wracking this was for him.
"Master?"
Zim looked up from his cleaning.
"You're cleaning again, master. Are the germie-germs back?"
"No, Gir. You wouldn't understand."
"Aww." Gir cocked his head to the left, his eyes lifting in a kind smile. "Master's sad. I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED!" With that, Gir launched himself at Zim's head, and Zim managed to stand up just in time for Gir to land in his midriff instead. "I LOVES YOU MASTER! I loves you almost as much as cupcakes!"
Zim allowed himself a rare, Gir-directed smile. Gir really was his only friend, aside from Dib, whom he probably wouldn't have for much longer. He sighed and allowed Gir to crush his waist. For once, "someone" did need a hug.
****
Dib walked up to Zim's door, uncertain steps guiding him. He took a deep breath, and assured himself that this was the right decision; his heart and mind agreed.
Zim was broken from his thoughts when a soft, but self-assured knock on the door reached his ears. Dib's knock. But it was two days early…..He went to answer the door.
"Zim."
"Dib. Come in." Zim felt bleak when he saw the anguish in Dib's eyes. He was certain this was going to be bad. "You're early."
"I didn't need the whole three days."
"So?"
Dib took a deep breath and steeled himself. This was the decision that would alter his live forever, and if he was going to go through with it, he would have no regrets.
"Zim, you're the most important thing in the world to me."
Zim noticed that small pockets of tears were starting to form in the corners of Dib's eyes, and that he was desperately trying to hold them back.
"I love you, Dib. Remember that, and do what you have to do."
"You're important to me. More important than anything else."
"So what does that mean?"
"I'll join you, Zim."
(Further) Author's notes: IT'S DONE! Now I feel empty and ficless…Well, I've got a sequel brewing in my head and a bunch of one-shots as well. What to write, what to write? Curious: Thanks for the crash course in lango- dancing. You knew of my horrible brain grease, but I hope I didn't keep everyone waiting TOO long. Fatalonie: I don't KNOW. *Blinks cutely* I'm saving that for the next fic, I suppose. Also, I guess it got kind of serious for Gir to be in a lot. I've got a little comedic rompy-thing planned, though, and Dib's going to talk to Gir in that one. Well, I hope you guys liked it! Aforementioned comedic romp will probably be the next thing, but it fits into this timeline.
