Say it in a Letter
by: PepsiAngel
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Which, basically, is everything but the plot. I know that some other people have the same type of story, so if anyone feels as if I copied them feel free to contact me. You can't sue me, 'cause I only have sixty dollars...there is that 40$ Wal*Mart card too. *hehe* We can work something out however.
A/N: This is unoriginal...I KNOW. But for some strange reason I want to post it anyway. So do not flame me because flamers are as unwelcome as rain in Summer. And I do know Gary Coleman and I do have two rabid dogs. DON'T MAKE ME USE MY WEAPONS!!! Er, right. I'm high off Diet Pepsi Twist. I didn't know you could get high off anything diet, but hey if I put my mind to it I can do anything. *mwahaha*
Ginny Weasley set down her freshest attempt to explain to Harry Potter how she felt in disgust. Why don't you just give up? She asked herself angrily. But she knew the answer. Ginny couldn't just stop, her overflowing unsent letter box was proof of that. It made her feel better to try to explain how much she loved him, even if he'd never read any one of her attempts. Her newest addition to the little black box read:
Dear Harry,
I know you probably do not want to here this, but I love you. I really do. I don't admire you, or worship you. I love you. You mean so much to me.
"Ginny? You coming to dinner?" Asked her friend, Lisa, from the doorway.
Ginny snapped the box shut and shoved it under her bed. "Uh, coming." She smoothed her hair down and turned off the light. Then her and Lisa left for the Great Hall.
Two hours later Ginny returned to her dorm, a place where she spent an awful lot of time, and climbed into bed. She had her black box in front of her. She slowly took out every piece of paper from inside it. She was now surrounded by some fifteen papers.
Ginny had a scrap in front of her but she couldn't even write how she was feeling, she could not put into words the pain that seemed to engulf every inch of her body.
While she was eating Ginny listened to Harry's conversation with her brother, Ron, not unlike what she did every meal. This time they were discussing something other that quidditch or Malfoy. They were discussing girls, girlfriends to be exact.
Of course, Ron and Hermione had been going out for months, this was common knowledge. But Harry? He did not date.
"I can't believe you and Cho are going out." Ron shook his head. Or maybe he did date. (a/n: I do not like Cho, nor am I a Cho/Harry fan. I just figured this was the only girl he had ever showed interest in and it kinda makes sense seeing as they are both kinda sad since Ced died. *shudders* But I am NOT a supporter. Don't flame over this.)
"I know. I thought she still needed time to get over Cedric," agreed Harry.
"I guess she wants you to help her forget Diggory," replied a grinning Ron.
"I don't want her to forget him," frowned Harry.
"Yes, well, momentarily forget anyway."
The two boys started laughing but Ginny felt as though she could never laugh again. Like a dementor had just walked into the room. Only it wasn't a horrible dementor who caused her to feel as if someone had reached inside her chest and ripped out her heart. They hadn't been too careful either, because Ginny was willing to bet they ripped out her soul too. Harry, her Harry, did this to her.
Ginny knew it was foolish but she had always hung onto the hope that Harry was saving himself for her. That the reason he didn't have a girlfriend was because of her. Now she knew he was saving himself for Cho Chang. Ginny had nothing against Cho, before this anyway, she now had a whole lot against her, they made a fine couple. But Ginny knew someone who would make a wonderful couple with Harry. A certain red haired, brown eyed fourth year.
Ginny had a sudden inspiration for her last paper to go into the black box.
Dearest Harry,
I know you really do not want to hear this, but I need to say it. I have loved you for five years, ever since I first saw you, and I don't think my love for you will ever go away. But I respect that you do not feel the same. I only wish you could know how much you mean to me. You are the only one who could hurt me like this, and still have my heart belong to you. Good bye Harry.
Loving you until the end of time,
Virginia Weasley.
She put her quill down and with tears shining in her eyes, Ginny made her way down to the common room, the black box held tightly in her hand.
Ginny went over to the fire and sat in front of it. With a broken heart she opened the box and pulled out a piece of paper. It seemed as if all her feelings for Harry would burn along with the unsent letters, and Ginny wasn't ready to give them up. She had loved Harry for so long, she had nearly forgotten what it was like not to think about him every second of the day. Though, she hardly thought she would stop thinking of him.
A tear slipped down her cheek as she read the first paper. It was from her third year.
Dear Harry,
It's hard trying to explain to you how deep my feelings for you go. I'm just waiting for you to tell me you love me as well. I'll wait for you forever.
Love, Ginny Weasley.
Ginny snorted. Oh, how naive she had been. Tears were now dripping down her face, but she did not bother to wipe them away. She threw her letter in the fire and watched it shrivel and blacken.
Ginny laughed softly as she read the next one. It was even more pathetic than the first. What made her think Harry would ever love her?
Ginny just tossed the next five in the fire without reading them. They sizzled and slowly disappeared, just like the rest. Ginny kept this up until only one letter remained. The one she had just written.
Tears were now running down Ginny's face in streams. She wiped fiercely at them and began to read in a whisper.
"Dearest Harry, I know you really do not want to hear this," she read. Someone walked up and stood silently behind her, they went unnoticed.
"But I need to say it. I have loved you for five years, ever since I first saw you, and I don't think my love for you will ever go away. But I respect that you do not feel the same." She paused and started to sob. "I only wish you could know how much you mean to me. You are the only one who could hurt me like this, and still have my heart belong to you. Good bye Harry."
Ginny paused again and the other person held their breath. "Loving you until the end of time, Virginia Weasley."
Ginny placed the paper in the fire. As she watched it become swallowed up in flames, Ginny cried harder. She felt as though she had set fire to her heart.
She grabbed the black box and turned to run up to her dorm only to smash into-
"Harry!" Ginny managed to squeak as she fell down.
Harry offered her his hand, she took it, and pulled herself up. When she was on here feet once more Ginny still held Harry's hand. It took them a second to notice, and when they did they both pulled away quickly. As though they had touched fire...
"I was just going," said Ginny. She silently prayed. Oh, God, I never ask you for anything. Please say Harry heard nothing.
"I never knew you felt like that," Harry told her.
God, I only asked you for ONE thing. She scolded inside her head
"You wouldn't because I never told you," is what she said out loud.
Harry nodded. "You should have said something."
"I was waiting for you," she whispered back.
"Ginny, I appreciate how you feel and everything, and I would love to have you as a friend," said Harry. His eyes were very shiny and he gulped. This was obviously paining him.
Ginny knew what was coming next and it was almost too much to bare. With every bone in her body Ginny willed it not to happen. For him not to say it.
"I'm not ready for a serious relationship," continued Harry.
"What about Cho?" Ginny shot back, hot tears threatening to spill over. She was digging her nails, she had once been proud of their length but she was know cursing it, into her palm so hard she thought it must be bleeding by now.
"It's just different."
"Different? Different how?" demanded Ginny.
"You just don't want me, don't think I'm good enough," snapped Ginny. "Admit it."
Harry shook his head sadly, "No."
"Admit it," she screamed, her voice echoing in the nearly empty common room. Tears flowed from her eyes, blinding her, and she was well aware that she looked like a lunatic. But for once she did not care.
Harry looked into Ginny's eyes, as if pleading with her. "It's nothing like that Ginny. You are too good for me! Listen, Ginny." He sounded so sincere that even Ginny in her current state obliged, and listened to him.
"I'm afraid," he admitted.
"Of what? You don't have to be afraid of me," replied Ginny in a much softer tone.
"I'm afraid of how you make me feel," said Harry.
Ginny smiled and said, "Don't be."
"It's just, I have never looked at anyone the way I look at you, I have never thought of someone the way I think of you." He continued.
Ginny grabbed Harry's hands and squeezed them with her own. She suddenly felt strong, here was something she knew about! All those years of feeling that way, she should know about it.
"It's called love," said Ginny peering into Harry's eyes.
Harry, who isn't completely thick and had suspected that, replied "Then I guess I love you."
Ginny grinned. For years she had fantasized of him saying those words to her, but never had they sounded so good.
"And I know I love you," said Ginny. After five years of saying it in a letter, she was glad to finally say it aloud.
FIN
A/N 2: *YAY* I had so much trouble with this story- but it finally worked! J Thanks for reading it, now you just have to review… Sorry the story got mushy, it wasn't my intention. Also, I want to say this story is dedicated to Hannah (She's a Star). If she hadn't bugged me so much I would never have posted this story, I would have given up on it! Thanks girl. *hehe* She also wrote the most amazing story, Meet the Parents, it's L/J and simply hilarious. You gotta read it.
