IV.i
Zechs purred happily as G snuggled up to him. "That," he murmured, "was quite delicious, dear heart of mine."
"You're awfully talkative in the sack," G grumbled, but let his fingers play over the taut muscles of Zech's chest. "I always told J I still had it."
"Babe, you've got it and then some." Zechs nuzzled the furry neck. "I love your ears... and your eyes... and your large donkey head... it turns me on." He grinned and licked the large nose.
"No more," G groaned, pushing Zechs head away. "You young people are all alike: too full of hormones! I remember, when my nephew was still alive, it was always hormones! I never wanted children; he was my sister's brat, before she died. He was always so damned careless... made me want to smack him."
"Want to play with my parking brake some more to help you forget about your nasty life as a mortal?"
"Maybe later," G told him with a yawn. "I have to sleep. Sex fiend." It quite clearly was not a compliment, but Zechs chose to take it in a positive light. "Always for you, babe," he said. Soon, they were snoring.
Loudly.
Wufei shook his head. Zechs was so weak--trapped by such an ugly old creature! Duo really had outdone himself this time; this ugly old man with the head of a donkey--Wufei really wasn't sure what had possessed Duo to give him the head of a donkey, but it seemed strangely fitting.
And, was the old man wearing a Batman costume?
He rolled his eyes and shrugged before carefully slipping over to Zechs' bedside and administering the antidote.
As Wufei examined the sleeper, he remembered that Zechs was beautiful. Somehow, during this crazy war they'd been waging against one another, all for a stupid sword, he'd forgotten that. He'd forgotten Zechs' good points: his sexy nature, his dry sense of humor, and his inherent goodness. Wufei smiled slightly to himself. They'd had some good times, before the relationship had soured. They had been a good match.
Lowering a gentle hand, he shook the man awake, allowing the corners of his mouth the chance to curl up as Zechs blinked sleepily. Zechs always looked charming when he first awoke.
"Wufei." Zechs smiled at him. "It's nice to see you."
"Yes," Wufei murmured back.
"You look well," Zechs said. "How has life been treating you?"
Wufei laughed a little, feeling warm. "Duo's mischief has been keeping me busy, as always... but I find it strangely enjoyable."
"Duo has a knack for trouble," Zechs said, chuckling as well. "I think it stems from his humanity. Humans do seem to find themselves in the most interesting
predicaments."
"Human life is an interesting thing, but desire seems to keep them trapped."
"You know," Zechs said, laughing again, "I always thought Duo had a thing for you."
"Me?" Wufei said, no longer laughing.
"You're the only one who never noticed," Zechs said, reaching out to brush away a stray strand of Wufei's hair. "The child hardly even sits still for anyone else. You're the only one who's ever had a real conversation with him."
"We're just friends, is all." Wufei shifted uncomfortably from his seat on Zechs' bed. He'd thought about Duo like this before, but never discussed Duo with Zechs.
"I was always jealous," Zechs said, still chuckling to himself. "You always looked so happy when Duo was around."
Wufei didn't know what to say. "It wasn't you," he said uncomfortably.
"It wasn't about me," Zechs said, stretching a little in bed. "I suppose that was the problem." He yawned. "But, he's your problem now. I don't know what I'd do with an ex-mortal in love with me. There's just this stench that clings to mortality, you know?" Actually, Wufei had never noticed. "It'd just be strange."
"Hn," was all Wufei could think to say.
Zechs didn't seem to notice the other's sudden stiffness. "I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I was in love with a mortal."
"Really?" Wufei lifted an eyebrow and struggled to keep a smirk off his face.
"And, get this--he had this great big ugly donkey's head!" Zechs laughed and shook his head. "Me, in love with a
human with an ass' head. I think it was the cod I had for dinner last night. That was a recipe Noin
won't be making again."
Wufei nodded, but his response was interrupted by a loud snore.
Zechs froze and turned to look over at his side. G nuzzled his arm again sleepily and gave another rattling snore.
Zechs sprang back out of the bed and into a nearby tree, his blue eyes open wider than Wufei had ever seen. Finding his pillow suddenly gone, the naked man rolled his old, wrinkly body over and fell gracelessly into a heap on the ground. Wufei waited for him to wake, but the only sound was another loud snore that rattled the nostrils of the mortal. It sounded almost painful.
"I think you should give me the sword," Wufei said mildly, looking up at the nude fairy clinging to the tree branch.
"So, you concede the feud?" Zechs said. "I knew you'd want to get back together."
"No." Wufei stood and removed a large manila envelope from his pocket, tossing it haphazardly on the bed before he turned to leave. "We got pictures."
As he left the clearing, he could hear Zechs scramble down from the tree and rip open the envelope, chanting, "No, no, no, no, no," the entire time.
Now that his back was to his ex, Wufei allowed himself to smirk. The one-hour photo shop
had produced some wonderfully vivid images, and Duo always remembered to order in triplicate and keep the negatives.
He had the feeling it was going to be a good year.
The group of amorous travelers also found themselves rising with the dawn. The group blinked sleepily at each other; the activities of the previous night, wonderful as they were, had left them fairly exhausted.
"Heero, we're naked," Relena told the man she was cuddled up to. His response was to blink once and turn his gaze over to Trowa and Quatre, who were in a much--well, much less appropriate position. It appeared, however, that they'd had fun last night. Relena whistled teasingly as Quatre licked his lips, looking quite satisfied with himself, and Trowa turned an interesting shade of red.
"We, um, also seem to be lacking clothes," Trowa muttered, and paused in his embarrassment
long enough to brush a hand over Quatre's cheek, marveling at its beauty. They finally turned to find--
the entire Oz army, led by Treize and Une, staring at them.
"What on earth is going on here?"
The booming voice woke them from their sleepy states fairly quickly, to their dismay.
"Uh--" was all anyone could think to say.
"I like lions!" Trowa finally burst out, and buried his head in his hands, too embarrassed
at his lack of eloquence to say anything else.
"He has deflowered my Quatre!" J broke out in a rising wail. "This Nanashi has stolen the virtue of my boy, and now he'll be shamed forever!"
"I'm not quite sure that's the way it works," Treize said, recovering rather gracefully from his surprise. "I mean, he's a boy... I don't think virtue really counts that much in men."
"Poppycock!" J wailed.
Une coughed. "Well, I guess this just means we're going to have a triple wedding today!"
"Today?" Treize said in surprise. "But--but our wedding isn't for another two days!"
"Oh, we'll rush it," Une said gaily. "I can't wait to marry you, Treize... you're just so thoughtful and kind."
Treize reflected breifly, and a three thoughts lay prominent in his mind: he really wanted that duel, Quatre really
was a man under that delicate exterior--check out those hidden pecs!--and Une was being perfectly charming again. He would never understand women. Resigning himself to the loss of Quatre's duel and the loss of a tastefully-done wedding, he turned to his guards. "Get them some clothing."
The soldiers looked at each other. "We didn't bring any extras with us, General," one of them finally said.
"Then start stripping, men," Treize said, and turned away. There were a few of his men that wanted to work on their tan, anyway.
"Oh, Heero, we're getting married! Isn't that wonderful?" Relena clasped Heero's arm and smiled brilliantly at him.
He swallowed, wondering what he'd gotten himself into. "Will there be doves?"
"But Quatre can't marry Nanashi!" J whined. "I forbid it!"
"I had the birth records checked," Treize said. "You're not his father. In fact, you're not a father at all."
"I am too!"
"Have you even ever slept with a woman?"
J snorted dismissively. "Schematics."
"Is he always like this?" Treize asked Une quietly.
"G's been gone all night," Une explained. "He's just concerned. You know how those mad scientists are about their sleeping habits."
Actually, Treize didn't know, didn't want to know, and didn't even want to think about it. The thought of the two men having sex, their naked, wrinkly old-people bodies writhing together in a fit of passion as J reached for the oxygen tank and G struggled so he didn't throw his hip out of--
He cleared his throat. "Let's go back to the palace and have the party."
"Sounds good," Trowa said, slipping into the jacket one of the soldiers had offered. "What are you doing out here at this time of the day, anyway? And with the entire army?"
"We had a few days before the wedding," Treize said with a shrug. "We thought we'd go take over Sanq."
"Ah," Trowa said, but Treize suspected him of responding more to Quatre's straying hands than the conversation at hand.
G woke suddenly with the dawning of the sun. Picking himself off the ground, he frowned. "What a strange dream," he said to himself. Looking down, he frowned. "Where are my clothes?"
Looking around, he finally reached a sad conclusion: "I seem to be quite naked. J's going to be furious that I lost the Bat-cape."
IV.ii
"Hey, everyone, I see G!" Hilde waved out the window.
"Shit," Meiran groaned.
"Can't we just kick him out of the group?" Catherine moaned. "He really doesn't add anything."
"There are a few other people that don't add anything, either," Dorothy whispered to Sally with a pointed look at Catherine, who was sitting right next to her and heard every word. Quite calmly, Catherine picked up the cheese
omelet she was eating and smashed it into Dorothy's face.
"What was that for?" Dorothy sputtered, and dumped her bowl of oatmeal on Catherine's head.
"Justice," Meiran grunted.
"Why is G wearing a barrel?" Hilde wondered.
"I can't believe I signed up for this," Sally said with a sigh, and ducked out the back door as a furious food fight sprung up between Catherine and Dorothy.
"He better not parade his disgusting naked flesh around here," Meiran said, and calmly bounced a grape off of Dorothy's head after a stray peanut hit her smack in the nose.
"Strange," Hilde commented, still staring out the window. "Somehow, he looks a little hairier than before."
-----Act V
Cassima wants a cookie.
The Index is your friend.
