I stood silently, staring ahead of me at the crashing waves. The light blue foam washed up around my feet, covering them with cold water before slowly flowing away. My crying had ceased, though a tight, headachy feeling still pressed in on my temples, a sign of suppressed tears.

Watching the sun sink lower in the sky, I let the bitterness and pain I'd been running from flood into my soul. Anything was better than the emptiness.

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

The ocean used to calm me, drain me of my conflicting emotions and fill me with a sense of peace. I could close my eyes and let the pulse of the waves flow through me until I was surrounded by their massiveness, small and unnoticeable.

It wasn't working. If I allowed any more of myself to be drained away I would cease to exist. Not even the cold water or crashing waves could block out the ache in my heart, and the hunger of my soul.

"…whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life."

I used to believe in God. But where was He now, when I needed Him? No, God didn't exist. If He did, none of this would have happened to me. God's supposed to take care of His own. He didn't.

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

There was no meaning in life. I'd been taught my whole life that I was merely a product of chance. I believed that now, and that eventually everything would become nothing. Nothing. The hollowness of that word blended with the emptiness weighing on my soul

"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live."

My dad was dead. My faith had never been alive. God was dead. And soon, as soon as I could make it possible, I would become join them and become nothing.

"Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe."

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God is alive, but many people choose not to see Him. They pull a veil over their eyes and block their ears to His voice. If they would only stop doubting and reach out their hands, their lives would be changed forever.

It is my prayer that these people find the truth.