Chapter 5: Hope, Hannah and Luke 5/7
The best cat burglar in the world,
I don't know I felt like starting this one different. It being our three-month anniversary of letter writing today. As always your last letter made me laugh out loud as you described the comic way in which Michael asked you out. You never mentioned if you said yes though. I think you should, Hannah needs to get out more or they'll think she's a hermit. Eyes Only or should I say Luke is already being accused of that very crime by more then a few people. I'm sorry about Angel. I know you miss her. Still nothing in the search for the cure, you? I'm tired, last night I couldn't sleep at all knowing that you were out there somewhere hurting. I wish I could come and hold you. One day I will you know. If only my arms could reach now. I want to call you. I want to hear your voice. It's been a year since I've seen your face. Can you believe it's only been a year? It feels like eternity. Well Hannah, Luke says to tell you that his misses and loves you. Oh and Max, I love you too. But I know blah blah woof woof right. Gotta blaze.
Love always,
Logan
The worst chess player of all time,
Following your example. I did go out with him actually. Our date lasted exactly three point two four seconds. Apparently he's allergic to cats and he had some sort of weird reaction when he tried to hold my hand. Thank you God for my feline DNA. Of course I had to tell him I had a cat and wouldn't dream of giving it up so he had better find someone else. Is Luke being reclusive again? Asha wants you.... to spend time with her. Sorry couldn't help but hesitate there. No seriously you should date other girls Luke or Seattle will think your a hermit. Turn around is fair play. No on the front for the cure. Last night I dreamt I was back in Seattle...well you know how that one goes. Hey you will never guess who I bumped into the other day. Bling. Strange but he has family out here did you know that? It was really weird let me tell you. Well I've got work in five so gotta jet. Blah blah woof woof
Love,
Max
Hannah,
Can we forget the past? I don't regret what has happened to us. If I had to do it over again I would gladly. If I could I wouldn't change the past. Sounds strange but "The universe is right on schedule. Everything happens the way it's supposed to." I know I've used that phrase before and that the universe has had an awful schedule for us, but you need to know I wouldn't give up one day with you. I would do anything to have everything be better. I want so badly to start over with you. I want so badly to have you back. Why is it easy to write to you as Hannah? I've asked myself over and over again. I finally figured it out though. Hannah hasn't seen the darkness that Max has. Hannah hasn't fought an impossible fight against her past; Max still fights it everyday. I don't dream every night about Hannah, Max haunts my dreams and my days. Hannah and Luke don't have anything that can hurt them now. Hannah and Luke could be together if they wanted to, no Frankenstein virus haunts them, taunting their every move. When I write to you as Luke I can say things that Logan could never express. So here goes Hannah. Life is hollow. A brief spin on this planet, in this destroyed country, and then its over. With you by my side, life had meaning. It didn't matter that we weren't like that because we both knew that we were and one day would be. We completed each other. Hannah I've looked for that for a long time. From the first time you dropped by I knew you were special, that some how you would save me. Thank you Hannah for saving me. Again and again you've kept me safe and you keep saving me now even though your thousands of miles away. I still feel you. I still need you. And I still love you. I always have loved you and I always will. I know one day you'll come back. Eyes Only still needs his cat burglar. If I've learned one thing, I've learned that everything changes and nothing stays the same. My love for you changes too. You've gone from goddess to angel to best friend to soul mate. And I thank God everyday that he brought you crashing through my skylight.
Forever,
Luke
Luke,
Can you tell me why I am doing this? I am so tired of not loving you. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to play these pretend games. Max and Logan writing each other love letters like nothing changed. You said yourself that things change. Well things have changed. I ran into Alec the other day. It threw me at first but he is honestly sorry and has spent the last year and a half searching for someone to complete our cure. Luke, screw it, Logan, I don't know what to do. I have a life here. I have friends, dreams, and plans. Hannah doesn't want to leave. But Max wants to run to you. Max is tired of this charade. Max wants to play chess with Logan. Hannah hates chess. But Hannah knows what Max pretends to understand. Hannah knows that Max loves Logan. Hannah knows how Max cries for what she needs and misses. Hannah has that hope that someday somehow she'll see and be with Luke again. Can I be Hannah and Max at the same time? Do I have to give up the normal life that Hannah has? Hannah loves her normal life but Max, Max has problems accepting it. Max wants more then this normal existence. She thought she wanted a normal life. But a normal life isn't enough now. Logan, can you forgive me for leaving? I know you understand why I left, probably better then I do, but that isn't enough, just understanding. I know why you never asked me to stay. And I'll admit that it hurt. But you knew best, by not asking you saved us both. I gave Original Cindy my telephone number and asked her not to tell you until I was ready to talk. Logan I think I'm ready to talk. Listen to me. I'm not the same girl you knew. It would be foolish to pretend I was. I'm going to tell O.C. to give you the number. But I'm also going to ask you not to use it until I call you. I know how hard it will be. I've spent a year and a half with your number and I think that I need to be the one to call you. You know I've read that poem you wrote a million times. I have it memorized and sometimes when I'm frustrated or sad I remember it and recite it. It makes you more real to me. Sometimes it feels like it was all a dream. Well expect a call soon. And Logan, I do love you. Yeah so I said it go ahead and get all excited now just don't break anything jumping for joy.
Hannah is leaving,
Max
The best cat burglar in the world,
I don't know I felt like starting this one different. It being our three-month anniversary of letter writing today. As always your last letter made me laugh out loud as you described the comic way in which Michael asked you out. You never mentioned if you said yes though. I think you should, Hannah needs to get out more or they'll think she's a hermit. Eyes Only or should I say Luke is already being accused of that very crime by more then a few people. I'm sorry about Angel. I know you miss her. Still nothing in the search for the cure, you? I'm tired, last night I couldn't sleep at all knowing that you were out there somewhere hurting. I wish I could come and hold you. One day I will you know. If only my arms could reach now. I want to call you. I want to hear your voice. It's been a year since I've seen your face. Can you believe it's only been a year? It feels like eternity. Well Hannah, Luke says to tell you that his misses and loves you. Oh and Max, I love you too. But I know blah blah woof woof right. Gotta blaze.
Love always,
Logan
The worst chess player of all time,
Following your example. I did go out with him actually. Our date lasted exactly three point two four seconds. Apparently he's allergic to cats and he had some sort of weird reaction when he tried to hold my hand. Thank you God for my feline DNA. Of course I had to tell him I had a cat and wouldn't dream of giving it up so he had better find someone else. Is Luke being reclusive again? Asha wants you.... to spend time with her. Sorry couldn't help but hesitate there. No seriously you should date other girls Luke or Seattle will think your a hermit. Turn around is fair play. No on the front for the cure. Last night I dreamt I was back in Seattle...well you know how that one goes. Hey you will never guess who I bumped into the other day. Bling. Strange but he has family out here did you know that? It was really weird let me tell you. Well I've got work in five so gotta jet. Blah blah woof woof
Love,
Max
Hannah,
Can we forget the past? I don't regret what has happened to us. If I had to do it over again I would gladly. If I could I wouldn't change the past. Sounds strange but "The universe is right on schedule. Everything happens the way it's supposed to." I know I've used that phrase before and that the universe has had an awful schedule for us, but you need to know I wouldn't give up one day with you. I would do anything to have everything be better. I want so badly to start over with you. I want so badly to have you back. Why is it easy to write to you as Hannah? I've asked myself over and over again. I finally figured it out though. Hannah hasn't seen the darkness that Max has. Hannah hasn't fought an impossible fight against her past; Max still fights it everyday. I don't dream every night about Hannah, Max haunts my dreams and my days. Hannah and Luke don't have anything that can hurt them now. Hannah and Luke could be together if they wanted to, no Frankenstein virus haunts them, taunting their every move. When I write to you as Luke I can say things that Logan could never express. So here goes Hannah. Life is hollow. A brief spin on this planet, in this destroyed country, and then its over. With you by my side, life had meaning. It didn't matter that we weren't like that because we both knew that we were and one day would be. We completed each other. Hannah I've looked for that for a long time. From the first time you dropped by I knew you were special, that some how you would save me. Thank you Hannah for saving me. Again and again you've kept me safe and you keep saving me now even though your thousands of miles away. I still feel you. I still need you. And I still love you. I always have loved you and I always will. I know one day you'll come back. Eyes Only still needs his cat burglar. If I've learned one thing, I've learned that everything changes and nothing stays the same. My love for you changes too. You've gone from goddess to angel to best friend to soul mate. And I thank God everyday that he brought you crashing through my skylight.
Forever,
Luke
Luke,
Can you tell me why I am doing this? I am so tired of not loving you. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to play these pretend games. Max and Logan writing each other love letters like nothing changed. You said yourself that things change. Well things have changed. I ran into Alec the other day. It threw me at first but he is honestly sorry and has spent the last year and a half searching for someone to complete our cure. Luke, screw it, Logan, I don't know what to do. I have a life here. I have friends, dreams, and plans. Hannah doesn't want to leave. But Max wants to run to you. Max is tired of this charade. Max wants to play chess with Logan. Hannah hates chess. But Hannah knows what Max pretends to understand. Hannah knows that Max loves Logan. Hannah knows how Max cries for what she needs and misses. Hannah has that hope that someday somehow she'll see and be with Luke again. Can I be Hannah and Max at the same time? Do I have to give up the normal life that Hannah has? Hannah loves her normal life but Max, Max has problems accepting it. Max wants more then this normal existence. She thought she wanted a normal life. But a normal life isn't enough now. Logan, can you forgive me for leaving? I know you understand why I left, probably better then I do, but that isn't enough, just understanding. I know why you never asked me to stay. And I'll admit that it hurt. But you knew best, by not asking you saved us both. I gave Original Cindy my telephone number and asked her not to tell you until I was ready to talk. Logan I think I'm ready to talk. Listen to me. I'm not the same girl you knew. It would be foolish to pretend I was. I'm going to tell O.C. to give you the number. But I'm also going to ask you not to use it until I call you. I know how hard it will be. I've spent a year and a half with your number and I think that I need to be the one to call you. You know I've read that poem you wrote a million times. I have it memorized and sometimes when I'm frustrated or sad I remember it and recite it. It makes you more real to me. Sometimes it feels like it was all a dream. Well expect a call soon. And Logan, I do love you. Yeah so I said it go ahead and get all excited now just don't break anything jumping for joy.
Hannah is leaving,
Max
