Duo: At the moment, the authoress is sleeping *evil grin* so us Gundam pilots have hacked into the computer, Thankyou Heero…
Heero: *nod*
Duo: To undo the great inju…to right the wron…oh hell, since you can't really phrase this without sounding like Wufei, here's justice boy himself.
Wufei: Injustice Maxwell! However, I will forgive you this once, as I fully intend to keep the authoress asleep as long as possible. The plot, dear readers is this, now we have broken into the weak onna's computer, we will write our own ending to this already horrific story that portrays us like weaklings, before killing D.D.Duley.
Quatre: Don't you think that's just a bit too mean guys?
Duo: *face blank* No. I have no sense of decency anyway, so who cares?
Trowa: I'm sure her family would.
Duo: YOU SPOKE!!!! AHHH!! *Falls over in shock*
Heero: While the others ramble on dear friends, I have found out how to write on this primitive machine, so here we go, chapter four. *Zero eyes*
Duo continued cackling as Wufei's face got redder and redder. Suddenly the black-haired boy lunged at the evil looking pirate. But the other was too quick. Duo dodged behind what remained of the "pillaged temple" (Wufei's shrine) sending the pony-tailed dealer of justice crashing into the poor unoffending object.
While Wufei was removing himself from the wreckage, spluttering in anger, Duo ran past the still shocked Trowa and Quatre, heading down the hall.
"Stop him, he's headed for the doorway!" Shrieked Wufei, a little bit too late I might add, the braided menace had already gone…
*********
He watched the still form curiously, the messy dark hair, chest rising and falling with each breath. The panther smiled evilly, white teeth gleaming in the light from the crack in the doorway. Slowly, oh so slowly, the big cat edged towards the bed, with deathly stillness he climbed up onto the said item, pausing as he hovered above his prey…
Heero, normally so watchful, even when asleep had no idea what had happened in Wufei's room, and even now, with danger lurking right above him, the perfect soldier was dead to the world, to worn out after watching Duo to even realise what was about to happen…
The icy water hit his bare chest with a loud splash, waking the poor boy with a gasp, then a loud yell. But the "panther" was already out of the door and heading down the hallway towards the relative safety of the living room. Relative safety meaning, if he had chosen anywhere else Heero would have found an implement to kill him with.
However Duo had reckoned without the other pilots.
Racing into the living room he jumped behind the armchair in one corner, hiding behind it and stuffing the end of his braid into his mouth to keep from giggling.
Four boys met outside the living room door, two looking slightly worried, two looking plain murderous. "He's in there?" Quatre asked Heero, indicating with a nod of his head the said piece of wood. "I believe so."
"Good," Wufei's eyes narrowed dangerously, "Let's finish him off here and now."
Duo: Uh guys, hellooo this is not meant to be a fic about people killing ME!!!
Wufei: Ah but you deserve it this time Maxwell."
Duo: No I don't, nonononono! You have me mixed up with someone else; the person in the fic is a different Duo! A little help Authoress?
D.D.: Zzzzzzzz
Wufei: WEAK appealing to a WOMAN for help…
Wufei waved his sword, (which he had retrieved after picking himself up off the floor) in a threatening manner.
The door was pushed open slowly, the hinges creaked slightly. Four heads poked cautiously round, expecting a custard pie in the face at any second.
The room was completely empty.
Three boys left disappointed, two because they still didn't know whether the braided menace was out and about endangering lives and one because he couldn't kill the child.
Heero stood alone in the room, eyes narrowed, he wasn't the perfect soldier for nothing, he knew Duo was in here somewhere, he'd just out wait the boy, Duo was so impatient he'd probably pop out of his hiding place in 5…4…3…2…Heero lunged forward and grabbed the emerging boy.
"Caught you!"
Duo stared up at Heero, "Hi Heero. What do you want?"
Heero's mouth fell open in shock, not only was Duo not at all worried about being caught by Heero; he was treating the moment as if the past two hours had not happened. In other words, the five year old was winding up Heero a treat. Before the soldier could do anything drastic however, Duo spoke up again. "Can we watch cartoons Heero?"
"No." Heero snapped, trying to keep the strain out of his voice.
"Pleeeeeee…"
"NO."
"…Eeeeeeease?"
"…"
"YAY!!" Duo bounced over to the TV, taking Heero's silence for consent, switching it on he flicked through channels, finding one that suited him, he plopped down on the sofa. "Sit and watch cartoons with me?"
"NO!" Heero growled, but stopped when he saw Duo's bottom lip quivering slightly, and his eyes going very wide. Sighing, he knew there would be no peace until he did what was asked of him. "Fine." He growled, stomping ungraciously over to the sofa and sitting next to Duo.
************
Relena smiled as she pulled up outside the pilot's safe house, once again she had managed to track Heero, it had been difficult this time, but being famous had its perks. "Wait here Pargan." She ordered, before walking up to the front door.
As she knocked, raucous laughter echoed from inside, frowning slightly she pushed open the door. Walking down the corridor towards the living room, she found the laughter was getting louder, it sounded like Heero? She quickened her step, flinging open the door.
"Heer…OH!" she stopped dead in her tracks, right in front of her eyes, Heero Yuy, the love of her life was sitting on the sofa with another man!! Not only that, but he had one arm around the boy, and she knew who it was instantly, only one person in the entire colony could have a braid like that. She couldn't see the other boy, but from the voice and the braid she knew it was Duo.
Stomping round to the front of the sofa she didn't even give herself time to look before slapping the other boy…hard. A resounding crack echoed through the room.
Heero jumped to his feet, outraged. "What the hell do you think you're doing Relena?" he hissed through gritted teeth, he'd actually been enjoying the cartoons, laughing harder than even Duo.
"I thought you loved me Heero!" She wailed mournfully, "and instead I find you curled up all cosy on the couch with him…" She pointed at poor Duo before stopping short again. "Oh, he's a little boy."
"Yes Relena, this is…Michael. Heero wasn't about to let on to the queen of the world that he was looking after a small Duo, she was an incredible gossip. "He's my youngest cousin."
"I never knew you had a cousin."
"I do now."
Duo meanwhile had had enough of Relena, not only had she interrupted the cartoon to hit him painfully across the face, but now she was taking Heero's attention away as well. Time to do something about that. Quietly he slipped out, heading for the bathroom…
He returned five minutes later with a smug expression on his face, glass of cola in his hand. Deliberately he banged into the queen of the world as she sat on the sofa, spilling the dark liquid all over her hair.
Drops splattered everywhere, even splashing Heero, who was sitting as far away as possible.
"my hair!" Shrieked Relena, jumping up and running to the mirror, "Aaaaah it's covered in it!!"
Duo put on a suitably apologetic face, "I'm sorry miss Relena, but we do have a bathroom, you could wash your hair." But make sure to use the purple bottle, the other one contains Mr Howard's chemicals."
As Relena flounced off to the bathroom, Duo grinned evilly, before settling back down on the sofa.
Duo: You're gonna stop there! I thought we were going to finish the story so we could kill her!
Heero: Hn.
D.D.: Zzzzz…huh? Where am I? Aaaaaargh WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FIC!!
Duo: Run, she's going to kill us…*to Wufei* This is all your fault!
WUfei: My fault! YOU are the weak one Maxwell… *voices fade into the distance*
