D.D.: Ok my friends, I WILL be making this 1+2, but ONLY at the end in a little sort of epilogue, so those of you that don't want to read that will just stop reading when it says FINISH!! But are we finished with this fic yet?
Nanashi: HELL NO!!!
D.D.: Well Nanashi, you're right, Hell no we're not.
Nightshadow: So what's going to happen now?
D.D.: Hmm…where did I leave off?
Nightshadow: Uh…oh yeah, Wufei giving Heero and Duo funny looks. That boy really needs to get his mind out of the gutter.
Wufei: I heard that onna!! My mind is not in the gutter Thankyou! That is a deadly insult, and justice must now be served…*pulls out ten foot long katana*
D.D.: *sigh* Wufei haven't you learnt yet?
Wufei: Learnt what?
D.D.: *waves hand and Wufei's katana disappears before reappearing in Nanashi's hand* HAH!
Wufei: *Sulks* She always gets my stuff.
D.D.: Hard. Cheese.
Duo: *Poking head around the door* Is she gone?
D.D.: Who?
Duo: Uh…never mind…^_^;; eheheheh…
D.D.: *Scowl* I'm beginning to hate you guys, maybe I should kill you all off…
Heero: Omae O korusu…*pulls out gun*
D.D.: Eep! *Dives behind a convenient sofa* Why are you trying to kill me?!
Heero: You're annoying me.
D.D.: Hmph.
Nanashi: I think she's annoying all of us…
D.D.: *forgetting the gun wielding Heero and sticking head out from behind sofa* I heard that!!
Nanashi: So?
D.D.: *Heero's gun appears in her hand* HAH!! Now pay the price!!! *Evil grin*
Heero: HEY!!!!
Nanashi: *evil grin as well* HAHAHAHAH!!! *Waves Wufei's katana*
Nightshadow: Oh dear…ladies and gentlemen, please…um…avert your eyes from the scenes which are about to unfold… *camera blacks out* Um…now on with the fic!!!! Eheheheh…^_^;;;;
*Screams, shouts and a fair amount of cursing is heard*
Ah Christmas eve, a time of joy, hope, thanksgiving, miracles and peace and qui…
"INJUSTIIIIIIIIICCE!!!"
…et…hmm, maybe not…
Wufei stormed through the once quiet house, searching for none other than the object of our attentions.
Namely Duo.
He found the boy in his joint room with Heero, gazing at the television screen as the said Heero made a woman on the screen jump over a pit of spikes.
Nightshadow: Just a quick little interruption, yes this is Tomb Raider, no she doesn't own it and…um…*in the background you can see D.D. and Nanashi trying to kill one another…still* OH DARN!!! WHO TURNED THE CAMERA BACK ON!!!??
"MAXWELL!!!" Shouted Wufei angrily, his eyes looked ready to pop out of his head in agitation.
The evil five year old looked over at Wufei calmly, and then promptly climbed into Heero's lap. "What is it Wufei?"
Wufei spluttered for a couple of seconds, knowing full well he now had no chance of killing the child. When Duo was with Heero, he was perfectly safe. Finally he controlled himself and looked towards the two boys on the old battered armchair. "Maxwell." He said, his voice deadly calm, "why did you write onna on Nataku?"
Duo blinked, looking innocent, (yes my friends he had found out about the Gundams, and in particular showed interest in Nataku. Luckily he had not attempted to pilot them…yet.) "Why Wufei, onna is a good word, you should wear it on your Gundam with pride…ack!"
Wufei, now having forgotten about Heero had leapt across the distance towards Duo and was trying to strangle him.
A blow sent Wufei reeling, and he remembered as he fell that Heero had been in the room. (A bit late really.)
************
D.D.: *holding Nanashi at arms length* This is just a quick sort of summary of how close Heero and Duo had become…GACK!! *Nanashi tries to strangle her*
So now it is, the day before Christmas, Duo was sitting at the breakfast table, a sheet of paper and a pencil in front of him, his tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth, and his eyes were nearly crossed as he concentrated.
"Duo, what are you doing?" Quatre asked from where he sat across the table, "you've been writing for half an hour already."
Duo frowned harder and didn't look up as he spoke, "I'm writing to Father Christmas, he brings presents to you…how do you spell scythe?"
"S…C…Y…T…H…E…why?"
"Oh I'm asking for one for Christmas." Duo blinked and looked up, "Father Christmas WILL bring it for me won't he?"
"What's all this about?" Asked Heero as he walked into the room.
"Duo's writing to Father Christmas." Quatre explained, seeing the said Duo was no longer listening, but concentrating on the oh so important letter.
"Ah." Heero shot Quatre a look that quite plainly said, "HELP HAVE WE GOT HIM SOMETHING???!!!"
Quatre subtly shook his head and indicated that he and Trowa would go shopping, he then quietly slipped from the room.
"Heeeeero?"
"Hmm?"
Duo looked up from his letter, "Have you got me something for Christmas?"
"Uh…yes, but you can't see it yet."
Duo snickered slightly, "I know that Hee-chan, because it's not Christmas yet!"
"Don't call me that."
"Call you what Heeeee-chaaaan?"
'Heeeee-chaaaaan' glared at the five year old, but it was only a half-hearted attempt. "Are you finished with the letter yet Duo?"
The five year old nodded, "Wanna see?" Without waiting for a reply he thrust the letter into Heero's hand. Heero glared again, but looked down at the slightly grubby piece of paper.
(Here Heero choked slightly.)
Heero blinked slightly, it was a very…interesting letter. "Um, Duo? I'm not sure if you're allowed to threaten Father Christmas."
Duo shrugged, "It doesn't matter anyway, I'm sure he'll take it seriously."
*************
Meanwhile Trowa and Quatre were out shopping…
"What should we get him?" Quatre mused out loud, "Any ideas Trowa?"
"…"
"What a good idea!" Quatre chirped, "I love it when you come up with such wonderful ideas Trowa-chan!" And with that he dragged the taller boy off towards the hardware shop.
*************
"Pink paint, black paint, hair ties…I think that's everything." Quatre muttered under his breath. (Don't ask me how he knew what Duo wanted.) "Come on Trowa, time to go home."
*************
Wufei peered through his binoculars at the house, it looked so peaceful under the rapidly darkening sky, so innocent, it would be impossible to guess what a terrible horror lay within.
Focussing the lenses he peered through the living room window once more, frowning slightly as he realised that whatever the objects of his attention was doing, it wasn't what he expected…
*************
Duo giggled again, as he stuffed more popcorn into his mouth, leaning contentedly against Heero as he did so.
The two boys were sitting in the living room, watching an old Bond film, Duo, for some unexplainable reason, was loving every minute of it, especially whenever a new 'bad guy' appeared.
Heero was also enjoying it, despite the constant threat of a new Duo disaster; he had rather enjoyed the past three weeks. Watching cartoons had been fun, playing in the back garden had been fun, rolling in mud had been…an interesting experience. In fact every morning Heero found himself waking up hoping Duo would never change back to his original age. A strange thought, but one can only say it was an honest emotion.
Suddenly he was caught off guard by Duo suddenly leaping onto his lap with a yell. "AAARGH!!"
Heero immediately leapt up, looking for the enemy, dumping Duo on the floor in the process. Duo just leapt straight back up again however. "What? What is it? What's the matter?"
Duo continued shivering slightly as he clung to Heero's neck. "There's something out there…"
************
Wufei had almost given up hope of spotting anything unusual about the two boys in the living room; in fact he had almost begun to think it was his paranoid emotions, almost, not quite.
Just as he was about to pack the whole thing in, Duo leapt into Heero's arm, Wufei instantly took this the wrong way…
Nightshadow: Again I say, Wufei needs to get his mind out of the gutter…
…and focussed the lens of his binoculars in on the 'embracing' couple.
"Aha! Now they cannot deny it!" He muttered, still staring hard, "Although I must admit it is disgusting, a child Duo's age and a fellow Gundam Pilot such as Heero…"
A rustling from the bushes behind him completely failed his notice, until five seconds later a quiet voice said, "Hello Wufei."
"AAAAAH!!!"
D.D.: Ah another chapter finished…*yawns* Well, hope you enjoyed folks, once again thanks to whoever reviewed, I am so eternally grateful, words cannot express…
Nightshadow: Uh, D.D.? Where's Nanashi?
D.D.:
*a shout is heard off stage,
it sounds remarkably like 'injustice'*
Duo: So are we nearly finished yet?
D.D.: Hmm, I think, about…two more chapters to go, yeah, and then…um…epilogue?
Duo: 'kay then.
D.D. Oh yeah, I have something to show you pilots…
All (including Nightshadow, and Nanashi who has appeared again): What?
D.D.: *clears throat dramatically* I have a new book, and it gives ALL the details of you pilots…listen…
Heero Yuy: May self-destruct when cornered, approach with caution. *giggles* Sounds like a time bomb doesn't he?
Heero: Omae O korusu…
D.D.: Duo Maxwell…
Duo: Uh oh…^_^;;;;
D.D.: Although unmatched in stealth operations, he can be very loud and annoying in open battle…ahahahahahah!!!
Duo: Oh that is it, you are so dead, I think I'll kill you now and have done with it…
D.D.: *shrugs* It's been tried before and it didn't work, I appear to have a sub-reality field that only lets GOOD things happen to me, and besides, this is what the book says. (ground Zero.) Hmm, Trowa…nothing interesting…ahah! Quatre Raberba Winner…
He is at his most terrifying when he becomes mentally unbalanced; use caution.
Quatre: Just because I happened to suffer a personal disaster and take my feelings out on a couple of nearby colonies, everyone's going to hold it against me for the rest of my life?
D.D. Yup, and last and certainly least…Chang Wufei. *evil grin* He has his own ethical standards, beware of falling outside his moral boundaries. HEY this is ok!! Why didn't they do a nasty one about Wufei? *sulks*
Wufei: *smugly* Justice…
D.D.: Oh well, can't win 'em all, but at least on the back cover Relena looks like the happy fairy from La La land…a right idiot if I do say so myself…
Duo: *grabs ground Zero* Where? This I have gotta see…*other pilots crowd round and laughter begins to issue from the group*
Nanashi: So, what fic you continuing with now?
D.D.: Hmm, not sure…maybe ghost, maybe over the hills and far away…
Nightshadow: Oh Ghost!! Come on! I want to get chapter four up!
Nanashi:
D.D.: *quietly walks off to
resume another story, in which she can continue to torture our beloved
pilots…*
