Heaven Only Knows

Heaven Only Knows

By: Raiha-chan

Italicized words indicate thoughts.

//Blah// indicates flashback sequences.

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[Chapter Two: Crush]

Sakuya awoke with a start, his body drenched in sweat. His breathing was coming in quickly, too. Wiping a hand across his forehead, the half-American cast a glance at the bedside clock.

2:55 AM

Goddammit…

He had a dream. He wouldn't call it a nightmare, though, because it was anything but that. The dream involved a certain someone doing rather…pleasant things to his body.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep just yet anyway, Sakuya decided on a little bath. As he passed through various doors in the hallway, one thought flickered through his mind.

The onsen here are damn great.

"Can't sleep?" Sakuya jumped at the voice. He whirled around to find a very sleepy-looking Yuki standing there, rubbing his eyes.

"A-a… I thought I'd take a bath, is all…" Sakuya swore mentally.

"Oh," Yuki nodded slightly.

"Uh…I'll be on my way then. Good night."

"Can I come with?"

"What? Why?"

"Would you mind?"

"N-no, of course not."

"Okay, then. I think I could use a bath, too."

+++++

Stop ogling, Sakuya! Sakuya mentally slapped himself and silently willed his body to turned away. Yuki, oblivious to his internal battles, continued the shedding of his clothes.

Breathe, Sakuya. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale…

"I hope you're not planning on stepping in with those on," Yuki's voice broke through his insane ranting.

"What?" Sakuya looked up at the guitarist. The latter made a gesture at his clothes before turning away and stepping into the warm water.

Get your head out of the gutter, Sakuya… Taking a deep breath, the blue-eyed wonder took off his clothing and stepped into the water. Yuki had already retreated to an area opposite him. His elbows were resting on the lumpy rocks behind him; his head thrown back against them, exposing a long, pale neck.

"Relaxing, hmm?" came the soft voice.

"Aa."

"Having problems with Aine?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem kind of out-of-it lately. If anything, I think you're the main reason Yuka even suggested thought of a vacation in the first place."

"Why would you think that?"

"Stress relief, I assume."

"Aa." Sakuya hesitated, wondering whether he should voice his next question or not. Finally, he said, "Why does everyone think Aine and I are going out?"

"You've changed quite a bit…"

"How does that answer my question?"

"Let a guy finish what he's trying to say, will you?" Yuki smirked, even though the vocalist couldn't see it due to the placement of his head. "Ever since you picked up one of her poems and her becoming the official lyricist for Lucifer, there's been a change in the way you sing and act lately."

//I've never seen Sakuya lose his cool like that before…//

//I agree//

"Not to mention, you're always offering to do this and that for her, when you've never really bothered to before with anyone else. Personally, I think if we're characters inside a fairy tale or the likes, you'd be the hero. Prince Charming, if you will. And Aine the heroine.

"Besides, everyone thinks you two looks cute together."

Sakuya fought with the sudden urge to gag. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Why would I?"

The younger man didn't reply as Yuki's previous words suddenly lash back at him.

//Not to mention, you're always offering to do this and that for her, when you've never really bothered to before with anyone else//

Now that he think about it, his sudden change in behavior made even he himself confused. Aine WAS the first to know about his mother as well as his origins…

//Why are you telling me this, something that you've never told the other members before?//

//I honestly have no idea//

Good question, Aine. Why DID I tell you all that?

Perhaps he WAS falling in love and either just didn't realize it yet or didn't want to admit it. But one question still plagued his mind.

Why?

+++++

"O-ha-yo!" Miki and Yuka drawled out in unison.

"God, stop that," Santa grumbled. "I have a headache…"

"You mean a hangover," Atsuro corrected.

"Same thing."

"Well, no one told you to drink so much last night," Yuki chuckled.

"Ah, shut up."

"Good morning, Sakuya-san," Aine looked up as the said person walked by her seat. When she received no response, she tilted her head to a side, confused and worried at the same time. "Sakuya-san?"

Startled, Sakuya turned to face the girl. "What?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? You don't look too good…"

"I'm fine." Why on earth does this girl worry so much?

"Breakfast is ready," Rui said, making his entrance. "Courtesy of Akira. The fact that he woke up this early is a miracle itself."

"Very funny," Akira mumbled.

"If you get poisoned or anything like that, you'll know whom to blame," Miki jerked a thumb towards the blond, who shot her the finger in return.

"Actually, I'm not very hungry," Sakuya stood. "If you'll excuse me…" Without another word, the vocalist left the dining hall.

"You scared him away even BEFORE he took one single glance at your food…"

"Shut up, 'neesan!"

"Mou, you two, settle down now. Stop acting like kids." The others laughed.

While the commotion was going on around her, Aine was busy wondering what was wrong with Sakuya and debated on whether or not to follow him. In the end, the answer was a negative.

+++++

"What are you doing out here?" Sakuya didn't look up to see who it was. He knew from the voice alone.

"Wanted to think," Sakuya replied curtly, as the black/purple-hair guitarist sat down on the sand beside him.

"May I ask what about?"

"This and that."

"Wonderful. Can you be less cryptic please?"

"Re-evaluating everything."

"Which is?"

Sakuya finally turned to glare at the man beside him. "You're a very nosy person, aren't you?"

"Once in a while. Fine, then. If you don't want to share, I'll just leave you to your brooding alone." Yuki stood and prepared to leave.

"Is this love?"

"What?" Yuki looked back, startled.

"I don't know what I'm feeling for Aine. Is it love?"

"Perhaps. Love is a very hard thing to figure out."

"Sometimes, I feel as if she's…smothering me. She's always worried about me, even though she knows I usually act the way I do."

"Love makes you do crazy things."

"Does she love me?"

"That, you'll have to ask to find out for sure. Do you want her to love you?"

"I don't know."

"Do you love her the way you would a sibling? Or do you love her the way you would a lover?"

"What?" Sakuya blinked up at the still-standing Yuki.

"Don't confuse sibling kind of love with true love."

+++++

"Ah, Sakuya-san!" Miki smiled. "You missed dinner." Sakuya didn't answer. His stomach did all the answering for him.

Miki chuckled softly. "Let me fix something up for you."

"Aa, thank you."

"No problem. So I guess whatever problem you were dealing with have been solved now? Or am I wrong?"

"How did you guess?"

"Call it a woman's instinct. So, was I wrong or right?"

"Wrong. I guess."

"You 'guess'? Would you mind telling me your problem? Perhaps I can be of a bit help to you."

Sakuya was silent for a while before he spoke in a low voice. "What's love?"

"Eh?" Miki tilted her head to the side. "Love? That's a pretty hard question you're asking…"

"Then…have you ever been in love?"

"I thought I was," Miki leaned against the countertop.

"Thought?" Miki nodded.

"I was still in my 3rd year in school then. He was your average guy. You know…tough on the outside and without a single care in the world. But he was pretty sweet when he wants to be.

"We dated for a little over half a year before we broke up. There was no hard feelings because it was more or less a mutual break off."

"Why did you break up?"

"We've been friends since we were toddlers. You know how in TV shows where sometimes, the 2 main characters are such best friends. And then they grow up and started to realize their significant other is each other? And they end up getting married and lived happily ever after?

"That's bull. While it may work in TV shows, I learned that it doesn't in real life. After a while, I started asking myself, 'was this what I really want?' My relationship with one of my oldest friend just seemed…off, somehow.

"The night we broke things off, he told me that he loved me. But not because I was viewed as his significant other. But because he misunderstood that love he held for me as something sexual. He simply loved me like I was a younger sister he never had.

"That was when I started to REALLY think. In the end, I ended up with the same result as him. I loved him, yes, but only as though he was my brother."

//Don't confuse sibling kind of love with true love//

"How do you tell the difference between the two? Loving one like a sibling and loving one like a lover, that is."

"When you feel like there's no one else in the world you'd rather be with. When you can just hear those wedding bells. That's how you know that THAT person is the one you want to share your entire life with."

Sakuya paused, suddenly remembering his dreams. "What about sexual fantasies?"

Miki nearly fell over. "W-WHAT?!" The man just stared at her, calmly. "U-um… They are what they are. Sexual fantasies. Just because you fantasized or dream about…doing things with someone doesn't necessarily mean that she's your significant other."

"I've been asking myself the same question over and over again lately… Why?"

"Why what?" Miki wasn't sure if she can handle another surprise like the one before.

"I told Aine about my…birth origins," Sakuya looked at the floor. "I've never bothered to tell anyone before. Not even the person I like…"

"Person you like?" Now, Miki was very confused.

"Call it a crush or something," Sakuya shrugged, dismissing that topic as quickly as it came. "She asked me why did I tell her something that I've never told anyone else. Then, I didn't know the answer. Now, I still don't know the answer."

"I've heard from Towa and Santa that you changed quite a bit upon her arrival."

"So they said."

"I guess your primary concern right now is if you love Aine or not?"

"I guess so."

"Do you picture being with her for the rest of your life? Her and no one else. Just even once. If you pictured it just even once, you just might love her after all."

"And if I didn't at all?"

"I would say then you don't love her that way. But I'm no love expert so I could be wrong. Therefore, I'm not going to say anything at all. Just…give it some time. Why are you wondering about all this 'love' stuff now, anyway?"

"Something Yuki said in our conversation last night."

"Sou…"

+++++

"Miki-san?" Aine peeked her head inside the dining hall. "Have you seen Sakuya-san?"

"He left for his room around 10 minutes ago," Miki replied as, stacking the leftover dishes neatly onto the cart.

"Oh…"

Miki looked up. "Is something bothering you?"

"No, not really." A slight pause. "It's just…Sakuya-san seemed really distant lately. He seems to be thinking more than usual."

"I see…"

"Well, I'll be on my way then. And I'll leave you to your chores. Good night," the young girl bowed then departed. Miki watched her go with a thoughtful expression.

Funny how she still uses the -san honorific…

[End Chapter Two]

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A/N: Don't kill me! It's horrible, isn't it? ;_;