Title: Little Spaceship of Horror

Author: Josephine

Rating: R

Genre: Humor/Parody

Summary: An alien plant grows out of control within the carbon dioxide- rich, irradiated atmosphere of the Enterprise.

Notes: Trip to the rescue! Most of the science is right, I just took liberties with the extremes. : ) I'm a horticulturist, I couldn't get the plant thing out of my mind.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the Trek dance hall; I like to conduct the band once in awhile.



Chapter One



T'Pol slowly moved down the hydroponics lab. She was checking on the recent acquisitions from the latest planet the ship visited.

:::This one has improved::: Leaning forward, she felt the leathery leaves and tendrils the plant had. Giving it a last look, T'Pol left the lab.

Since the other senior officers were busy that afternoon, T'Pol ate alone in the wardroom. Her mind went back to the planet the new specimens had come from. Besides the amazing quantity of plants, the thing she remembered the most was the extremely high oxygen level the planet had. Nothing that humans couldn't handle, T'Pol was the only one who had a problem with it.

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Busy with her other duties; T'Pol didn't have time to get back to hydroponics for a few days. When she did, the new plant was three times the size.

:::An amazing rate of growth. None of the other examples of this plant on the planet were this big::: T'Pol checked the nutrient bath the plant was in, reducing the nitrogen level.

"Ensign, have you noticed the growth rate on 3M-18RX?" She called the crewman over.

"I did, Sub-Commander, and wanted to talk to you about it. Do you think it's normal?" Their conversation turned technical as they discussed why the plant was growing so quickly.

"We will keep track of its growth, and if it continues at this rate I will mention it to the Captain." T'Pol finally said. "None of the other plants from that planet are doing this well; in fact some of their leaves are burnt. We will have to wait and see."

Moving off, the two women didn't notice the twitching plant, or the new set of leaves it pushed out.

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Coming around the corner of the hydroponics lab, T'Pol ran into a wall of leathery green leaves. She stepped back, pushing them out of her face. T'Pol was convinced the plant kept moving.

"Sub-Commander? Is that you?" T'Pol heard a voice through the greenery.

"Ensign Stevens? Where are you?"

"Over on the other side, ma'am! The plant has got me, I can't get out!"

T'Pol walked over to the other aisle. Stevens was there, her body held fast by thick vines.

"They just grabbed me, ma'am! Every time I try to move, they tighten!" Terror laced Stevens' voice.

"Do not panic, Ensign, I will get you out." T'Pol took hold of a vine and pulled. The plant pulled back. Stevens groaned. "They're tightening again!"

"I will have to cut you out, Ensign." T'Pol went over to the propagating table and picked up a knife. She started slicing a vine near the crewman's neck.

A thick sap oozed out, burning T'Pol's hand, and she stepped back, realizing she needed help.

"T'Pol! Where are ya? We're supposed to go to lunch!" T'Pol was strangely relieved to hear Trip's voice.

"Over here, Commander; Ensign Stevens is being held captive by a plant."

"Damn, she sure is!" Trip whistled.

"Perhaps if we work together, we can both free the Ensign." As soon as T'Pol and Trip reached for a vine, Stevens was pulled deeper into the mass of vines.

"I think you need more help than I can give you. Tucker to Security! We need some assistance in Hydroponics!"

"What's wrong, Trip, a plant taking over the lab?" T'Pol could hear the laughter in Reed's voice and sniggers in the background.

"Yes, Reed, now get your ass down here! And bring some phasers!"

Trip decided that the Captain needed to know about this.

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Captain Archer was on the bridge when Trip's voice came over the comm. "Cap'n, one of the plants we picked up at the last planet has grown t' mammoth size and has a hold of Ensign Stevens. We've tried t' cut her free, but the vines keep tightenin' and they ooze a thick, caustic sap. I've sent for Security, but I think you should come down here."

Archer just stared at the comm. "Ha! Good one, Mr. Tucker!! But it sounds too much like a bad B-grade horror movie to be true." Hoshi giggled.

"CAP'N!" There was desperation in his voice now. "This is no joke! I think it's gonna eat Stevens, and it's reachin' for me and T'Pol!" Muffled bangs and curses could be heard in the background. "No disrespect, sir, but your Chief Engineer *and your Science Officer suggest you get your cheese-lovin' self down here NOW! Tucker OUT!!"

"Well! I think I'll go down to Hydroponics. Mayweather, you have the bridge." Archer strolled to the lift.

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Archer opened the door to the lab and walked into a war zone. T'Pol, Trip, and three security crewmen were shooting anything green that got near them, while two other security crewmen were tangled up in some vines. Archer saw part of a leg and an arm deeper within the plant that he assumed was crewman Stevens.

"Cap'n!" Trip made his way over to him. "We can't cut the crewmen out with the phasers, there are too many vines. And cutting them only lets more sap ooze out. I think it's toxic." He showed him a nasty burn on his arm.

"Hmm, well, yes, you could be right." Archer edged toward the door. "Well, T'Pol, you're our science officer, you seem to be doing a fine job, I'll leave this in your capable hands." Archer flung himself at the door, barely making it out before a vine grabbed his leg.

T'Pol muttered something Trip hoped was a Vulcan insult, maybe doubting the legal bond between Archer's parents. "It senses fear." T'Pol turned toward Trip who was fighting a losing battle with the questing vines.

"Yes, you're right." Zap! "It got Maris and Francisco first; they screamed like a two dollar hooker when they saw it." Zap! "And of course it got Stevens, everybody knows she scares more easily than even Hoshi." Zap! "And as for the Captain --- I'm sure he has a lot on his mind." Zap!

"I believe we should make a strategic retreat. I do not think we can overcome this plant in this manner. Vignerot, Nelson, fall back!" The two security men followed Trip and T'Pol out the door.

"I think the only way to get those crewmen out of there is to use the transporter." Trip leaned against the bulkhead, attempting to catch his breath. Vignerot and Nelson turned white. "I don't wanna start throwin' any firepower at it, tryin' to kill it hit-or-miss, with those three still in there." The humans jumped as a loud bang came from behind the Hydroponics door. T'Pol raised her eyebrow. Nelson backed away, about ready to faint.

"Get a grip, crewman! You're a member of Starfleet, not some pantywaist Space Marine!! Trip grabbed him by the collar. "I want you and Vignerot to get the rest of Security down here with all the firepower you've got! As soon as –" Trip broke off as the sound of pounding footsteps preceded the actual feet coming around the corner.

"What the ---"

"Where is it? Lemme at it!" Trip rolled his eyes as Reed came running up to him, covered in what looked like half the armory. Trip thought Reed was going to burst a vein. Another bang that dented the Hydroponics door told Reed where his nemesis was.

Reed swung a nasty looking tube covered with fins and antenna up to his shoulder. "Alright men, fire in the hole!"

"Belay that order!" Reed looked at Trip incredulously. "There are still three crewmen in there; we have to get them out first!"

"Casualties of war, Commander!" snarled Reed. "We have to strike hard, strike fast! When the enemy is at your door Commander (bang!), there is no time to worry about the niceties of rescuing fallen comrades!" Trip heard a muttered "So much for 'Leave No Man Behind'." Reed was working himself up to a fevered pitch before his eyes suddenly turned to the back of his head and he collapsed to the floor. T'Pol stood behind him.

"Lieutenant Reed was getting --- hysterical. I suggest we remove ourselves to the transporter room as soon as possible. Martinez, Howarth, you carry the Lieutenant to sickbay." T'Pol started down the hall.

"T'Pol, listen!" Trip ran up to her. "The noises in Hydroponics have stopped. It's probably found the air ducts. We've got to hurry." They both broke in to a run.