Title: Little Spaceship of Horror
Author: Josephine
Rating: R
Genre: Humor/Parody
Summary: An alien plant grows out of control within the carbon dioxide- rich, irradiated atmosphere of the Enterprise.
Notes: Trip to the rescue! Most of the science is right, I just took liberties with the extremes. : ) I'm a horticulturist, I couldn't get the plant thing out of my mind.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns the Trek dance hall; I like to conduct the band once in awhile.
Chapter Two
Trip and T'Pol skidded to a halt outside the transporter room. At least, Trip skidded. Vulcans, he noticed, apparently don't skid.
Trip went up to the transporter controls, trying to get a lock on the crewmen. "It's gonna be hard, T'Pol. That lab there is filled with bio- signs, and I don't know if I can filter out three humans." Trip shook his head as he tried to get a lock.
"Let me try, I have had more experience with transporter technology." T'Pol played with the settings until a beep indicated a lock. "I am transporting them directly to sick bay." She then opened the comm. "Dr. Phlox, you will soon be receiving three injured crewmen. I suggest you be prepared for more." T'Pol brought the controls up and began the transport.
"Understood, Sub-Commander, although I have my hands full at the moment." The two officers in the transporter room could hear their Captain's hysterics over the comm. "Tell it I never liked eating my vegetables, never! I was always a beef man, myself; beef and chicken! Maybe a pork chop or two, once in awhile --- Don't let it get me Doctor, I'm the Captain! I'm important! ---" T'Pol cut him off.
"The Captain is obviously incapacitated ("Damn straight" interjected Trip), I will be taking over command." T'Pol turned on the comm. again. "Ensign Sato, inform all crewmembers excluding Security that they are to report to the mess hall. --- Ensign Sato?" The only sound coming from the comm. was a soft voice singing: "don'twannadiedon'twannadiedon'twannadie". T'Pol turned off the comm. again. "It seems that Ensign Sato is also incapacitated."
"If we could figure out what is making this plant mutate, we might be able to stop it, and regain the ship." Trip looked at T'Pol.
"What was different between the ship and the planet?" T'Pol spoke almost to herself. "The planet had a extremely wide variety of plant life, ---"
"Although I didn't notice a lot of animals when we did our scans." Trip mentioned. "That was kinda weird."
"And the oxygen level was high, but the carbon dioxide level was low ---. Could that be it?" T'Pol asked
"Could *what be it?" Trip was confused.
T'Pol turned to him. "In terms you can understand: like on Earth, these plants produce oxygen, which animal life need to breath. Oxygen goes in, carbon dioxide comes out. The plants take in this carbon dioxide, and respire oxygen."
"Plants respire?" Trip muttered.
"Yes, Commander, and with the high levels of carbon dioxide on board, compared to the planet, the plant was able to achieve maximum growth. Especially since we were giving it all the nutrients it needed."
Trip jumped as an air vent cover clattered to the floor. A vine wasn't far behind. He took aim and shot, the vine slithering back into the vent.
"We need to get to a safer place." Trip went out the door, checking for vines. T'Pol followed.
"There has to be something else, though," T'Pol said as Trip led them down the corridor. "The extra carbon dioxide could not have done all this. What else was different about the planet?"
"We had a hard time scanning it when we first arrived. There seemed to be some sort of dampening field around it, remember?" Trip looked at T'Pol.
"That was a natural phenomenon, Commander. It allowed the native life to flourish, without it the radiation from the near by binary star would have sterilized the planet."
Trip stopped dead. "The radiation! Maybe it wouldn't have killed everything! Our shielding isn't quite as strong as the 'field' around the planet. And we've been getting closer to that star to study it." He looked at T'Pol.
"I think the carbon dioxide *and the radiation did this." Trip started them down the hall again.
"There is only one way to find out." T'Pol answered. "We must increase the level of oxygen in the ship and get as far away as we can from the binary. The decrease in its radiation should stop the rapid mutation." T'Pol suddenly put her hand to her forehead.
"T'Pol, what's wrong?"
"I sense something -- the plant -- it has achieved consciousness."
"The damn thing's ALIVE?" Trip looked as if T'Pol had just propositioned him.
"It has always been alive, Commander."
"Can you tell what it wants?"
T'Pol concentrated. "Hunger. Extreme hunger."
"Gawd, it's gonna start in on us if we don't do somethin'! Come ON!" Trip ran toward Engineering.
----------
Trip worked to raise the oxygen levels on board after setting a heading away from the binary star at warp 3, keeping an eye on T'Pol.
"I don't like the way you look." She seemed to be in some kind of trance. "T'Pol? Are you alright?"
"The plant's consciousness is different than an animal's. I am having a hard time blocking it out." T'Pol started murmuring something that sounded suspiciously like "Feed me."
"If you're channelin' that plant, then I don't think you're in any better shape than the Cap'n to command the ship. Reed's out cold and/or gone postal; it falls to me then."
"You are correct, Commander. I am weakening. You must assume command."
"We don't know how long it's gonna take before the plant dies, and we need to find out how many of the crew made it to the mess hall. Let's go."
Trip picked up the Vulcan and slung her over his shoulder. "Sorry, T'Pol."
----------
They ran into Mayweather part way to the mess hall. "Commander, we're all going to die! I want my Mommy!" He almost knocked Trip over trying to climb on top of him.
"Not you too --. Get a grip, Mayweather!" Trip gave him T'Pol's phaser. "Follow me and shoot anything green."
They finally made it to the mess hall where the rest of the crew was waiting.
"Where's Reed? I have a idea on how to get rid of this thing." Trip set T'Pol down and pushed his way through the crowd.
"Can we nuke it? I have some small anti-matter grenades I've developed. Then there's a plasma-neuro-deconstructor rifle, still in the experimental phase, but showing promise, oh yes, great promise ---" Reed continued muttering to himself as Trip cut in.
"We have to get to the bridge. That's where –"
"You can't get to the bridge! That's what I tried to tell you! The plant was everywhere! Hoshi and I barely made it out alive!!" Mayweather was getting frantic. Trip tried T'Pol's neck thing on him, gave up and just popped him one.
"Reed! We're goin' back to Engineering!" Trip pushed him out the door.
They had one incident where Trip thought Reed was going to take out both them and the plant and damn the consequences, but they finally made it.
"This is what we're gonna do. If we seal these hatches, and open these, we can then open the shuttle bay doors and suck the plant out into space." Trip started flipping switches.
"I can't blow it up? Bugger that for a lark!"
Trip sighed. "I'm still going to need some of your guys to go in with EV suits and magnetic boots to get rid of whatever's left. With those vines, I'm sure there will be a lot remainin' in the ship; hopefully the vacuum will kill it, but I can't be sure. There's gonna be a lot of mop up work, Reed. You can even use the one outside the ship for target practice."
Reed perked up at that. "Right!"
"Get your men in position, and let me know when they're set."
Snapping to attention (which annoyed Trip to no end), Reed took off, calling for his men.
Trip waited to open the hangar door until Reed came back and said they were ready. A faint whooshing was heard as some of the ship's air was evacuated along with most of the plant.
After ten minutes of Reed fidgeting and stroking his phase rifle, Trip finally gave him some good news. "The plant's bio-signs are almost gone; there's a concentration in Hydroponics area still. I'm going to re- pressurize the ship, you can go join your men and clear out the rest of the ship."
"About bloody time!" Reed made a dash for the door.
"And for Gawd's sake, don't hit anything human! Or Vulcan! Or Denobulan!" Trip yelled after him.
After making sure all the controls were set back to normal, Trip made his way back to the mess hall.
"We've evacuated the plant from the ship, is everyone all right?"
T'Pol turned to Trip. "Everyone is fine, Commander." Phlox came over from Ensign Steven's side. "Not everyone's fine," he muttered, looking over at the Captain who had surrounded himself with a few disgusted-looking burly security men.
"Cap'n, we've gotten rid of the majority of the plant; Reed and a few of his men are mopping up the rest. We should stay here until all of it is gone."
Archer pushed his way past the security men. "Good job Trip, I knew working together we would triumph over that foul creature. Chef! Break out some champagne! A toast to us! The bold crew of the starship Enterprise!"
As the crew congratulated themselves on their bravery in defeating their horrendous foe, Reed contacted Trip and told him the ship was clear. T'Pol corroborated that there were no more of the plant's bio-signs aboard or outside the ship.
"Ok, everyone, back to work!" Archer exclaimed once he found out. "Don't worry," he said as groans filled the mess hall. "We'll continue this party tonight!" The crew began to file out amidst cheers and the Academy fight song.
Archer, Trip, T'Pol, Mayweather, and Sato made their way to the bridge where Reed was waiting for them.
"Yes, we fought the good fight, men; and won. This day will go down in the annals as –" Archer's rhetoric cut off as he sat down and finally noticed the twitching vine creeping over the arm of his chair.
Archer jumped two feet straight up and hit the ground running, just making it between the closing lift doors; his screams echoing around the bridge.
Reed sniggered as he picked up the piece of vine he had salvaged and fitted with a vibrating battery pack.
"Nice one, Reed," Trip grinned.
"Bloody ace is what it was," Reed answered back with his own grin.
T'Pol merely raised an eyebrow and went to revive Sato and Mayweather.
Author: Josephine
Rating: R
Genre: Humor/Parody
Summary: An alien plant grows out of control within the carbon dioxide- rich, irradiated atmosphere of the Enterprise.
Notes: Trip to the rescue! Most of the science is right, I just took liberties with the extremes. : ) I'm a horticulturist, I couldn't get the plant thing out of my mind.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns the Trek dance hall; I like to conduct the band once in awhile.
Chapter Two
Trip and T'Pol skidded to a halt outside the transporter room. At least, Trip skidded. Vulcans, he noticed, apparently don't skid.
Trip went up to the transporter controls, trying to get a lock on the crewmen. "It's gonna be hard, T'Pol. That lab there is filled with bio- signs, and I don't know if I can filter out three humans." Trip shook his head as he tried to get a lock.
"Let me try, I have had more experience with transporter technology." T'Pol played with the settings until a beep indicated a lock. "I am transporting them directly to sick bay." She then opened the comm. "Dr. Phlox, you will soon be receiving three injured crewmen. I suggest you be prepared for more." T'Pol brought the controls up and began the transport.
"Understood, Sub-Commander, although I have my hands full at the moment." The two officers in the transporter room could hear their Captain's hysterics over the comm. "Tell it I never liked eating my vegetables, never! I was always a beef man, myself; beef and chicken! Maybe a pork chop or two, once in awhile --- Don't let it get me Doctor, I'm the Captain! I'm important! ---" T'Pol cut him off.
"The Captain is obviously incapacitated ("Damn straight" interjected Trip), I will be taking over command." T'Pol turned on the comm. again. "Ensign Sato, inform all crewmembers excluding Security that they are to report to the mess hall. --- Ensign Sato?" The only sound coming from the comm. was a soft voice singing: "don'twannadiedon'twannadiedon'twannadie". T'Pol turned off the comm. again. "It seems that Ensign Sato is also incapacitated."
"If we could figure out what is making this plant mutate, we might be able to stop it, and regain the ship." Trip looked at T'Pol.
"What was different between the ship and the planet?" T'Pol spoke almost to herself. "The planet had a extremely wide variety of plant life, ---"
"Although I didn't notice a lot of animals when we did our scans." Trip mentioned. "That was kinda weird."
"And the oxygen level was high, but the carbon dioxide level was low ---. Could that be it?" T'Pol asked
"Could *what be it?" Trip was confused.
T'Pol turned to him. "In terms you can understand: like on Earth, these plants produce oxygen, which animal life need to breath. Oxygen goes in, carbon dioxide comes out. The plants take in this carbon dioxide, and respire oxygen."
"Plants respire?" Trip muttered.
"Yes, Commander, and with the high levels of carbon dioxide on board, compared to the planet, the plant was able to achieve maximum growth. Especially since we were giving it all the nutrients it needed."
Trip jumped as an air vent cover clattered to the floor. A vine wasn't far behind. He took aim and shot, the vine slithering back into the vent.
"We need to get to a safer place." Trip went out the door, checking for vines. T'Pol followed.
"There has to be something else, though," T'Pol said as Trip led them down the corridor. "The extra carbon dioxide could not have done all this. What else was different about the planet?"
"We had a hard time scanning it when we first arrived. There seemed to be some sort of dampening field around it, remember?" Trip looked at T'Pol.
"That was a natural phenomenon, Commander. It allowed the native life to flourish, without it the radiation from the near by binary star would have sterilized the planet."
Trip stopped dead. "The radiation! Maybe it wouldn't have killed everything! Our shielding isn't quite as strong as the 'field' around the planet. And we've been getting closer to that star to study it." He looked at T'Pol.
"I think the carbon dioxide *and the radiation did this." Trip started them down the hall again.
"There is only one way to find out." T'Pol answered. "We must increase the level of oxygen in the ship and get as far away as we can from the binary. The decrease in its radiation should stop the rapid mutation." T'Pol suddenly put her hand to her forehead.
"T'Pol, what's wrong?"
"I sense something -- the plant -- it has achieved consciousness."
"The damn thing's ALIVE?" Trip looked as if T'Pol had just propositioned him.
"It has always been alive, Commander."
"Can you tell what it wants?"
T'Pol concentrated. "Hunger. Extreme hunger."
"Gawd, it's gonna start in on us if we don't do somethin'! Come ON!" Trip ran toward Engineering.
----------
Trip worked to raise the oxygen levels on board after setting a heading away from the binary star at warp 3, keeping an eye on T'Pol.
"I don't like the way you look." She seemed to be in some kind of trance. "T'Pol? Are you alright?"
"The plant's consciousness is different than an animal's. I am having a hard time blocking it out." T'Pol started murmuring something that sounded suspiciously like "Feed me."
"If you're channelin' that plant, then I don't think you're in any better shape than the Cap'n to command the ship. Reed's out cold and/or gone postal; it falls to me then."
"You are correct, Commander. I am weakening. You must assume command."
"We don't know how long it's gonna take before the plant dies, and we need to find out how many of the crew made it to the mess hall. Let's go."
Trip picked up the Vulcan and slung her over his shoulder. "Sorry, T'Pol."
----------
They ran into Mayweather part way to the mess hall. "Commander, we're all going to die! I want my Mommy!" He almost knocked Trip over trying to climb on top of him.
"Not you too --. Get a grip, Mayweather!" Trip gave him T'Pol's phaser. "Follow me and shoot anything green."
They finally made it to the mess hall where the rest of the crew was waiting.
"Where's Reed? I have a idea on how to get rid of this thing." Trip set T'Pol down and pushed his way through the crowd.
"Can we nuke it? I have some small anti-matter grenades I've developed. Then there's a plasma-neuro-deconstructor rifle, still in the experimental phase, but showing promise, oh yes, great promise ---" Reed continued muttering to himself as Trip cut in.
"We have to get to the bridge. That's where –"
"You can't get to the bridge! That's what I tried to tell you! The plant was everywhere! Hoshi and I barely made it out alive!!" Mayweather was getting frantic. Trip tried T'Pol's neck thing on him, gave up and just popped him one.
"Reed! We're goin' back to Engineering!" Trip pushed him out the door.
They had one incident where Trip thought Reed was going to take out both them and the plant and damn the consequences, but they finally made it.
"This is what we're gonna do. If we seal these hatches, and open these, we can then open the shuttle bay doors and suck the plant out into space." Trip started flipping switches.
"I can't blow it up? Bugger that for a lark!"
Trip sighed. "I'm still going to need some of your guys to go in with EV suits and magnetic boots to get rid of whatever's left. With those vines, I'm sure there will be a lot remainin' in the ship; hopefully the vacuum will kill it, but I can't be sure. There's gonna be a lot of mop up work, Reed. You can even use the one outside the ship for target practice."
Reed perked up at that. "Right!"
"Get your men in position, and let me know when they're set."
Snapping to attention (which annoyed Trip to no end), Reed took off, calling for his men.
Trip waited to open the hangar door until Reed came back and said they were ready. A faint whooshing was heard as some of the ship's air was evacuated along with most of the plant.
After ten minutes of Reed fidgeting and stroking his phase rifle, Trip finally gave him some good news. "The plant's bio-signs are almost gone; there's a concentration in Hydroponics area still. I'm going to re- pressurize the ship, you can go join your men and clear out the rest of the ship."
"About bloody time!" Reed made a dash for the door.
"And for Gawd's sake, don't hit anything human! Or Vulcan! Or Denobulan!" Trip yelled after him.
After making sure all the controls were set back to normal, Trip made his way back to the mess hall.
"We've evacuated the plant from the ship, is everyone all right?"
T'Pol turned to Trip. "Everyone is fine, Commander." Phlox came over from Ensign Steven's side. "Not everyone's fine," he muttered, looking over at the Captain who had surrounded himself with a few disgusted-looking burly security men.
"Cap'n, we've gotten rid of the majority of the plant; Reed and a few of his men are mopping up the rest. We should stay here until all of it is gone."
Archer pushed his way past the security men. "Good job Trip, I knew working together we would triumph over that foul creature. Chef! Break out some champagne! A toast to us! The bold crew of the starship Enterprise!"
As the crew congratulated themselves on their bravery in defeating their horrendous foe, Reed contacted Trip and told him the ship was clear. T'Pol corroborated that there were no more of the plant's bio-signs aboard or outside the ship.
"Ok, everyone, back to work!" Archer exclaimed once he found out. "Don't worry," he said as groans filled the mess hall. "We'll continue this party tonight!" The crew began to file out amidst cheers and the Academy fight song.
Archer, Trip, T'Pol, Mayweather, and Sato made their way to the bridge where Reed was waiting for them.
"Yes, we fought the good fight, men; and won. This day will go down in the annals as –" Archer's rhetoric cut off as he sat down and finally noticed the twitching vine creeping over the arm of his chair.
Archer jumped two feet straight up and hit the ground running, just making it between the closing lift doors; his screams echoing around the bridge.
Reed sniggered as he picked up the piece of vine he had salvaged and fitted with a vibrating battery pack.
"Nice one, Reed," Trip grinned.
"Bloody ace is what it was," Reed answered back with his own grin.
T'Pol merely raised an eyebrow and went to revive Sato and Mayweather.
