Title: A Time For Peace

Author: eclectic madness

E-mail: ayallara@yahoo.com

Chapter Two: Happy New Year

Gunn was kneeling next to the woman, feeling shaken. He looked up at Cordelia.

"And here you'd thought I'd forgotten my vow to protect your life," she said.

Gunn laughed, then sobered. "It wasn't my life you just saved, but thanks anyway."

"Ok, what just happened," asked Angel from the doorway. They had found the place, run up the stairs and found the apartment unlocked. From all he could see, the others had gone in, Gunn had caught the woman's hand before she could take the pill and then Cordelia had knocked the woman out.

"She was… leaning on my mind. Pushing on it so I'd let go of her," answered Gunn.

"And that's what it was I felt in the vision, about her mind. She's," Cordelia paused, searching for the right word. "Empathic? Telepathic?" She shrugged. "So I knocked her out. I hope I didn't hurt her too much," she added.

Wesley knelt down next to Gunn. He felt the woman's pulse, checked the back of her head where Cordelia had hit her. "I don't think you did any permanent damage, Cordelia. There is a sizable bump here, but her breathing seems to be stable and her pulse strong." He looked down at the woman, turning her head so he could better see her face. She looked drawn, tired… sad. She was also pale and painfully thin.

Fred picked the letter off of the floor. "Listen to this." She read the letter aloud.

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Lana Hoy. For reasons that are personal and largely unimportant I have committed suicide. My lawyer's name is Lawrence Daniels. He can be reached at 555-2894. He is in possession of my Will and has the contact information for my next of kin. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Lana Hoy

"It sounds like a business letter," she said. "Aside from the whole suicide part, I mean."

"Look," said Angel, pointing. His hand crossed the threshold. "Oh," he said and stepped into the room.

"Not her apartment," Cordelia said, and then blinked. "Her lease must be up."

Angel gave her a look as he walked over to a corner of the room. "Not yet," he said. A black leather coat lay draped over something. Angel picked it up to reveal a smallish matching purse underneath. He stood, put the coat over his arm and rifled through the contents of the purse. Lip balm, a tube of hand lotion, a pair of earrings, a battered paperback and jackpot: a wallet. Wesley came over to stand next to Angel so he could see. "California state driver license, Lana Hoy, no middle name," said Angel. "Looks like Lana just turned thirty in June."

"Thirty?" said Gunn, who was now standing over the woman – Lana. "She looks nineteen to me. Maybe twenty or twenty one. But thirty?"

Cordelia studied the woman at her feet. Lana was wearing faded blue jeans, battered tennis shoes and a cream colored t-shirt that looked like it had once been tight. Apparently Lana wasn't the type to dress up in a satin gown for her suicide. She didn't look young or old, really, more… timeless. She was hardly beautiful, but her features were somehow compelling and her long dark curly hair made Cordelia miss her once nearly waist-length tresses.

"Credit cards, a checkbook, a few dollar bills, but no pictures," said Wesley, who had taken the wallet from Angel. "Lana seems to have been a very lonely person."

"As interesting as her wallet is, don't you think we should finish this back at the hotel?" said Cordelia. "I get the feeling that this place isn't hers anymore and who knows when the apartment manager will come by to check it over? Not to mention that she's just laying there on the floor."

"Yes, of course," said Wesley. "Angel, would you –"

"I got it," said Gunn. He scooped Lana up in his arms. "She ain't that heavy."

Lana's arm slid sideways and her hand opened. The capsule slid from her fingers and fell to the floor, rolled a few inches then stopped. Fred picked it up, studying the white powder inside. Cyanide, maybe, she thought. Which would make sense. It was better than swallowing a bunch of sleeping pills and not as messy as slitting your wrists. Taking cyanide would be like suffocating yourself; it stops the blood from absorbing oxygen, which causes the organs to shut down, and you die.

"Fred!" exclaimed Angel. He took the capsule from her. "Go wash your hands. Who knows what that is or how much of it was on the outside of the capsule." Fred rolled her eyes and went to the small kitchen to one side of the room and rinsed off her hands. Cordelia grinned and wondered if she was beginning to rub off on Fred.

Wesley pulled out a Ziploc baggy and gestured for Angel to put the capsule inside. "Do we have everything, then? Lets go."

The drive back to the hotel was a quiet one. Each of them had at one time or another contemplated suicide, if only for the briefest of moments. What is it that had caused this woman to make the deadly decision?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lana drifted slowly back into consciousness and wished she hadn't. It had been ages since she'd had a headache this severe. What had she done to merit such pain? Then she remembered. New Years Eve. Time to go. Gods, she thought, please don't tell me it didn't work. I had it all planned out. Why didn't it work? She felt another presence nearby. Concern washed over her and thoughts filtered into her mind. Why hasn't she woken up yet? Why did she do it? Should we have stopped her? She felt so peaceful…

Now that was a weird feeling, thought Lana. Feeling herself through someone else's mind. Was this woman like her maybe? Lana sent out a questing thought. Hello? But there was no response. No, Lana thought sadly. She is something else. For a moment she considered looking deeper, to find out just what the woman was, and then regretfully set the notion aside. She threw up her defenses so she could have a little quiet while she considered her situation. She had a fuzzy memory of people coming in and of eyes telling her she shouldn't do it. No, that she didn't want to do it. A voice, rather. Damn. They'd stopped her. Bound her. She was stuck in this stupid body still. Just her luck. Lana sighed and opened her eyes.

She was in what looked like a hotel room. A dusty hotel room. The woman she had sensed was pacing quietly across the floor, walking away from her for the moment. All dressed up in black and a red that seemed the color of dried blood Lana thought the woman looked a little vampy. Her mind had tasted vibrant though. Strong.

"Hi there," Lana said.

Cordelia turned and came over to the bed where Lana lay. She sat down in the chair next to it. "Hi. We were beginning to get worried about you."

"I know," said Lana, looking at Cordelia in a way that unnerved her.

"Oh," Cordelia smiled brightly. "Well then you know what it is I'm about to say."

"Not really. I'm not listening. I don't do that anymore," said Lana, smiling enigmatically.

Cordelia decided to let that pass. "How are you feeling?"

Lana let one of her brows rise. "Like someone kicked me in the head."

"Right," Cordelia grimaced, "Sorry about that. But you were doing something to my friend's mind. And we had to stop you."

Lana's jaw tightened and she sat up. "No. You didn't."

Cordelia was saved from having to answer by a knock at the door.

Fred stuck her head in. "Cordelia? Wesley wanted me to check and see – oh. You're awake, Lana."

Lana looked at the slender girl in surprise. "You know my name?"

Fred came into the room. "Well, you did leave the letter there and all. And we looked through your purse. Sorry about that, but we had to find out more about you."

"Whatever," said Lana. She pushed herself up off of the bed and stood, swaying slightly. "I think I want to leave now."

"No!" said the two women in unison.

Lana looked from one to the other. "Look, I don't want to have to make you let me go, but I will if you make me make you." She frowned. Did that sentence even make any sense? Her head felt all wobbly…

"Just relax for a minute," said the first woman, pushing her back down onto the bed. "We're here to help you." The woman - Cordelia? - sat down in the chair so that they were at eye level with each other. Good eye contact, moderate voice, thought Lana clinically, she has the makings of a good counselor… "I know that life can seem impossibly hard sometimes, but –"

"Please," said Lana, cutting her off, "What do you know about hard?" She looked her over appraisingly. "Let me guess. Cheerleader, dated the captain of the football team, homecoming queen… you're telling me life hasn't been easy for you?"

The words had been a calculated barb, but Cordelia just grinned wryly. "Not exactly."

Lana frowned at the lack of response, but refused to back down. She looked over at the other one, standing behind Cordelia a little to one side. "And you, what is your name?"

She smiled sweetly. "Fred. Well, its Winifred, but everyone calls me Fred."

"Uh huh," Lana said, "Fred. Let's see… the smartest kid in school, daddy's little girl, scholarship to one of the best universities, am I right? Not exactly walking on coals, were you?"

Fred's face fell and her shoulders hunched as her lips trembled a bit. But she forced herself to speak. "I… Maybe that was right, once. But I spent five years in a place where the monsters are real and they work you and work you until you die from exhaustion or you kill yourself because you can't stand it anymore." Fred's chin rose.  "Believe me, I know about hard."

The anger drained out of Lana and she seemed to go limp. It was true; she could feel that even through her walls. Gods, she felt guilty. "I'm sorry," she said simply and let herself fall back onto the bed, curling up on her side facing away from the two women. She didn't respond when they said her name or when one of them touched her shoulder. They were right. She was weak. They had lived in the world, survived it without folding in on themselves; what was she compared to them? Nothing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fred and Cordelia left the room, shutting the door quietly behind them.

"That did not go well," said Cordelia. "Are you ok, Fred?"

"I'm fine." Fred shrugged. "But she isn't. Which I guess makes sense, her having just tried to commit suicide. We can't make it all better just by talking to her for a few minutes."

Cordelia suppressed a smile. Fred was really doing better, getting stronger every day. Sometimes she would say something completely unexpected, just as Cordelia was beginning to think she knew Fred fairly well. "You're probably right," said Cordelia, pulling her attention back to the situation at hand. "I was just hoping that after not having been able to do it she might be ready to talk about it a little."

"You said she was important, that we needed her somehow?"

Cordelia's lips pursed and her eyes went slightly unfocused as she went over the vision in her mind. "Um hmm… She is supposed to help us. Or we're supposed to help her." Cordelia frowned, "Maybe both?"

Fred looked thoughtful. "Right now its us doing the helping, I think."

Cordelia grinned. "That's what it is we do, help the helpless."

Fred laughed lightly. She loved that she was part of the we now.

"But I don't think we should leave her alone for too long," said Cordelia. "Do you want me to stay with her or,"

"I can stay," said Fred. "You go and talk with Wesley."

"Are you sure?"

"Really, its ok. You go."

Cordelia nodded and went down the hallway towards the stairs. Fred steeled herself and opened the door quietly, entering the room with only the slightest hesitation. "Lana?" she said. Lana didn't answer. Fred sighed and sat down in the chair. She didn't think Lana was asleep, but if Lana didn't want to talk, Fred wouldn't force her. She kept a silent watch over Lana, wondering what it was the Powers had in mind for her…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Is there any almond chicken left?" asked Cordelia. The three men looked up to watch her cross the floor from the base of the stairs to the front desk.

"I believe it's in that one," said Wesley, indicating a carton in the middle of the group of take-out boxes on the desk. As he watched her scoop some out onto a plate along with sizable portions from the other boxes Wesley thought to himself how it never ceased to amaze him just how much Cordelia could eat and still stay in such good shape.

Cordelia took a bite and sighed happily. "I love Chinese food," she said. She looked at the three faces watching her eat. "What?"

Gunn hid a grin and Wesley cleared his throat. Angel just shook his head. "How is she," he asked.

Cordelia set down her fork. "Not good. And definitely not happy that we broke in on her farewell party."

"Were you able to talk with her at all?" Angel asked.

"Not so much. She just wanted to leave. We tried to calm her down but she… she was upset. And now she won't say anything at all."

Gunn looked worried. "Did she do anything," he gestured vaguely at his head, "you know, upstairs?"

Cordelia shook her head. "I don't think she likes whatever it is that she has."

"She is uncomfortable with her metal abilities?" Wesley asked with interest.

"That's kind of the impression that I got."

"Just now or in your vision?"

"Both. I think." Cordelia blew out a frustrated breath. "You know, I can relate." She picked her fork up again and took a few bites. "I keep going over the vision in my mind and each time I get something slightly different. Even though I am sure I've already analyzed it suddenly there's something new there."

"Like you remember something more every time?" asked Angel.

"No," said Cordelia, "More like… reading an article in the newspaper and then going back over it to find a new sentence at the end or in the middle where there wasn't one before."

Wesley considered this. "This new information, what is it, exactly?"

"It's not like its all clear in there. I just get these impressions, an overall feeling that is stronger than it was at first."

"Such as?"

Cordelia struggled to put into words the revelations she had had while watching over Lana's unconscious form. "She's put a lot of planning into this. It wasn't a call for help. She meant it. She was ready to go. Now. Tonight. Part of it is because of the mind thing. Part of it is just the loneliness. But its also… she is exhausted for some reason. She is so tired she just wants to sleep forever."

"If I remember correctly that is one of the symptoms of major depression," said Wesley.

"Maybe," said Cordelia doubtfully.

Gunn, who had been listening silently, asked, "Do you think she'll try again?"

"I'm not sure," said Cordelia.

"That sounds like yes but I don't want to say yes."

Cordelia nodded.

"We shouldn't leave her alone," he stated unequivocally.

Wesley's brows rose in surprise, but he did not argue the point. "You're right, Gunn. For the time being we will keep watch over her until we are certain she will not attempt suicide again. Angel? If you would take the first watch tonight?"

Angel nodded.

"I will come in early tomorrow to relieve you and we will work out who goes next. The rest of you needn't come in until later."

Angel stood up. "I'll just go relieve Fred. It's getting late, almost ten after midnight…" He broke off. He looked around at the faces of his friends, the people he trusted most in the world. "Happy New Year," he said. And in a way he meant it. He would rather be with them doing what it was they did best than be at any party.

"Oh!" said Cordelia. Gunn and Wes looked as surprised as she felt. How had midnight passed without any of them noticing? Well, even if they weren't out dancing, she could celebrate the New Year at least a little bit. She caught Gunn off guard with a hug and a kiss. Wesley smiled and tried to duck but she caught him and kissed him soundly. Angel laughed and backed away when she approached him. "Don't make me use my new fighting skills," she threatened. "You know I can kick your ass." He raised his hands in surrender and she hugged him tight then released him.

"Hey," said Angel. "Don't I get a kiss too?"

Cordelia threw a glance over her shoulder as she went behind the desk to get her coat and purse. "Nope."

"I don't know why they get kisses and I don't."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Goodnight everyone."

"Happy New Year!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Upstairs Lana woke suddenly from a fitful sleep. Voices had been telling her she couldn't go, and they didn't hear when she screamed at them to leave her alone. But the words that brought her abruptly to consciousness echoed through her head and tears began to stream sideways down her cheek as she quietly repeated them.

"Happy New Year."