*waves* Hi! =^_^= I took a tiny break from Learning to Breath, and wrote a whole bunch of short humor fics, and this is the first of them. It was just something I was thinking of at night, and I wrote it all at once, so please be gentle. Ah, what the hell. Be as mean as you can. =^_^=
Warnings: Slash, confuzzling, that's it?
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
He Said...
"Potter, I want to fuck you."
Harry ignored Draco. He always did. Then he ran over what Draco actually said and choked. The cup of powdered kavu claw he was holding slipped through his fingers and into the cauldron, turning it an interesting hot pink color.
"Shit," Harry said. Suddenly he remembered why he had dropped the cup in the first place and snapped his head around to face Draco. "WHAT?!"
The blonde was looking at him with a mildly bored expression on his face. "Our potion just turned pink," he pointed out.
Harry quickly grabbed a part of the cup that was still dry, pulled it out of the now foaming potion, and tossed in the general direction of Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini. It exploded. "Now what did you say?!"
"I said, 'Your father and mine fucked at school'," Draco replied, inspecting his nails.
"Oh," Harry said, the only thing registering being the fact that Draco did not say 'I want to fuck you.' He glared at the potion, still determined to make their Disaster potion a success.
"Quite the masochist too," Draco continued. "Your father, I mean. Always wanted to be tied up one way or another. My father always told me interesting bedtime stories." He 'accidentally' tipped the vial of Ichorid juice into their potion. It sputtered and turned an aqua color.
"mm.." Harry said, looking back at the potion and frowning. He could have sworn it had been pink...
Draco watched Harry scan his notes, amused. This was fun! "You know, James also like getting spanked. And there was this one time when they screwed in the Potions classroom. Right in the spot where you're sitting, as a matter of fact."
Harry, who was sitting in a chair that would have nearly impossible to fuck on, added a bit of mongoose fur. It fizzled. "Mm hm."
"I think your father would have been a nice fuck," Draco said thoughtfully. "If he was cute. Don't you agree, Potter?"
"Ah," Harry muttered. "Damned instruction booklet!" The boy who lived glared at the 101 Ways Not to Fail Potions by Professor Snape he held in his hands. "Wonder who wrote this stupid book..."
"10 points from Gryffindor for saying 'stupid'," Professor Snape said, walking by. "And why is your potion *blue*?"
"It's aqua," Harry said, not really thinking. Draco just shrugged, indicating that it wasn't his fault.
"Hmph," Snape hmphed, feeling to need to be evil. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for having a blue potion. Ten points to Slytherin for having such a blue potion."
"What?" Harry asked confused.
Draco sighed. "It's too complicated."
"Oh."
---------------
Later that night, Harry Potter thought about that Potions class. The words Draco said finally made their way into his brain.
His eyes went wide.
He choked.
Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, sprung from the bed, determined to find Draco and fuck his brains out.
Owari
*shrugs* So... review. Tell me you hated it, liked it, whatever.
