Chapter Nineteen
When Spike finally left the bar, it was nearly 10:00 o'clock, and he was drunker then Xander's Uncle Remus on Christmas Eve. However, the vampire still remembered the main parts of his plan; well almost all of the main points. He remembered something about hurting one of Buffy's friends, making Buffy respect him as something scary again and something about Willa Ford.
The vampire stumbled toward the Summers house, grumbling to himself as he walked. When Spike finally arrived at the house, it was all he could do to keep from falling over. He pounded on the door and rung the doorbell until someone opened the door.
It didn't matter to Spike who opened the door as long as it was one of Buffy's friends; Spike grabbed the shoulder of that person and yanked her outside.
"What the hell are you doing?" The person asked. It was only until then that Spike realized that he didn't know the person he took out of the house. However, it didn't really matter because if she was in Buffy's house then she was one of Buffy's friends. Spike pulled out a note scrawled on a napkin (that he had made at Willy's) and put it by the door. The note said: (in Spike's drunken hand-writing) "I have your friend, I won't let her go until you come and bow before me. And bring more beer." Willy had tried to make Spike put a line through the last part but Spike wouldn't let him.
With the note in place, Spike grabbed the person's arms and pinned them behind her.
"You're coming with me." Spike commanded and began pushing the person away from the Summers' house.
"What are you doing?" The person asked, she turned to look at Spike. "You're Spike aren't you? I heard Buffy talking to you the other night. God, she must really hate you." The person muttered.
Spike didn't bother to answer the person's question; he brought her to his crypt and shoved her inside. Spike shook his head to clear his mind and blinked his eyes.
"Hey, I don't know you." He said to the person.
"I'm Darry, wait why the hell did I just tell you that? You are Spike aren't you?" The person, Darry, asked.
"Yeah." The vampire answered and went over to this coffin-table and pulled out a loop of rope. You never know when these things will come in handy, he thought as he carried the rope back over to where Darry was standing.
"Okay, Spike, what are you doing?" Darry asked.
Spike drew a chair over to where they were standing and shoved Darry into it. He began to tie her to the chair. "I'm kidnapping you." He answered.
Darry began to laugh. "Why?" She asked, once she had stopped laughing.
"So that Buffy will realize that I am still scary and can still strike fear into people's hearts." Spike turned to face her. "Am I scaring you?" He asked her.
Darry tried not to laugh. "Oh yeah." She answered.
"Until Buffy comes to apologize to me, to take back all those mean things she said, you are my prisoner." Spike told Darry.
"Spike, are you drunk?" Darry asked, cocking her head to look at him.
Spike looked at her. "Quite a bit exactly." He answered.
Darry scoffed. "Oh please. You could at least show me the dignity of getting kidnapped by someone sober." She muttered.
Spike slammed his hand down on his coffin-table. "That's exactly what I'm talking about: dignity. See, vampires have dignity too." Spike said and pulled another chair up to sit in front of Darry.
"Sure Spike, every vampire has dignity. I mean, who wouldn't respect a blood-sucking killer?" Darry said, mustering a smile.
"See, Darry -that's your name right? - that's just the thing, I can't bite anymore, I can't even fight. And now, Buffy and all the other vampires and stuff in this town don't take me seriously." Spike griped.
Darry attempted to shrug her shoulders but the ropes bit into her skin. "I'm sure people respected you before. Like when you were a human." Darry said.
"That's another thing!" Spike yelled. "No one ever took me serous. Like when I was human, in 1880 I used to write poetry. I think that poetry was pretty damn good but no one else did; I used to write it for this girl, Ceily, and I thought she liked it and then one day, boom in front of everyone she turns me down. It was really embarrassing, I mean everyone was laughing and all." Spike whined.
"Spike…" Darry began but he cut her off.
"No, I'm not done. So, I leave the party and whom do I run into but Drusilla. Drusilla! That's another thing! She dumps me for some demon wanna be who can't even compare to me!" Spike yelled.
"Spike, shut your hole." Darry muttered.
"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about: no respect. You are going to listen to everything I have to say!" Spike yelled, looking at Darry. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, she dumps me saying I've gone 'too soft'. 'Too soft', ha! I killed two Slayers! Two! How is that 'too soft'? And it's not like I haven't tried to kill Buffy! I tried, lots of times." Spike said. He stood up and walked over to his cabinet and pulled out another bottle of booze. He uncapped it and took a swig from it.
"I'm sure you did Spike." Darry said.
"Shut up, I didn't ask you to talk." Spike muttered and sat back down, taking another drink.
"Anyway, Dru said that I had gone too soft because I made a deal with Buffy to save both our skins. Hello! I was doing it for our good; our good, that's me and her not just me.
"So, I come back from South America and who do I see. Well, someone I have never seen before but guess anyway." Spike said and drunk from the bottle.
"Um, I don't know." Darry answered.
"Then I'll tell you: Harmony. That little bitch who just suddenly found herself in vampire land. She's all 'Oh Spike you're a real tough vampire. Oh protect me and watch over me and feed me and cover our layer with pictures of fluffy unicorns!' So, what do I do? I decide 'hey, why not she's young and a babe' so I protect her and then the second I am not the vampire I used to be she leaves me! Yeah, just like that." Spike said and took another swig.
"Spike, shut up." Darry muttered, low enough so Spike couldn't hear her.
"And then guess what happens?" Spike asked.
"You realized you needed a life?" Darry asked.
"No, she comes along. Buffy." Spike said and frowned.
"Spike is absolutely crazy!" Buffy yelled and balled up the napkin and through it across the kitchen.
Anya's eyes widened and then she shrugged. "Okay, what are we going to do about Darry?" Anya asked.
Buffy had come home just a few minutes ago to find her house in a semi-state of DeathCon1. Anya and Xander had come over to pay everyone a visit and had found Spike's note at the front door. They had told Willow and Dawn and Willow was about to go find Buffy when she walked in.
"Well, we are going to find her and 'save' her and I am going to kick Spike's undead ass." Buffy answered.
"Okay, let's go!" Anya yelled and grabbed a butter knife out of the kitchen draw.
"Anya, put the knife down. We're all going to rescue Darry but we are not doing it with a butter knife." Buffy said.
"Okay, let's go rescue Darry!" Dawn yelled.
"Did I say everyone was going to rescue Darry? I mean, everyone but you is going to rescue Darry." Buffy said gently.
"Oh come on Buffy, let me come. You don't want me to stay home alone, all alone in Sunnydale?" Dawn said and gave her the most innocent smile.
"Fine, let's go. Who knows what Spike is doing to her." Buffy said.
"And then, the building starts falling in around us and what does she do? She starts passionately kissing me and then we make the most passionate, romantic love…" Spike continued.
"Spike! That's your business! Shut up!" Darry yelled.
"Now, Darry you listen…" Spike protested but Darry cut him off.
"No, Spike, you listen to me! I have been here, tied to this chair, for about an hour listening to you whine about your pathetic life! If there's any vampire left in you, please kill me now because I would rather die then listen to you rant for two more seconds!" Darry yelled.
"You act like you're the only person in the world with problems! Here you are, drunk, ranting on about your horrible poems and crap like you're the only person with problems. Well, I hate to break it to you Spike but you're not even a person! And even if you were, you would not be the only one with problems! And when you really think about it, you don't even have any 'real' problems.
"I mean, you stay in your crypt all day and watch your stupid TV and then when the sun goes down you go to some butcher shop or wherever and have your meal handed to you. Spike, you don't have any problems." Darry finished.
"He does have one problem." Came a voice from behind them. "Me." Spike turned around and Darry tried to crane her neck but she knew whom the voice belonged to. Buffy.
Buffy was standing in the foyer of the crypt with a crossbow aimed at Spike. Behind her were the other members of the Scooby Gang and Anya had a butter knife.
"Yay, Buffy." Darry said and looked over at Spike. "She's going to kick your butt and do you know why? Because she hates you!" Darry yelled and attempted to undo the ropes around her. However, Darry only managed to tip the chair and it fell over onto the crypt floor.
"Darry's right, you know Spike, about both things. Number one being that I hate you. Number two being that I would kick your butt, but I'm not in the mood. But I can tell you that if you ever come near any of my friends I can I will not only kick your butt but I will kill you. I have finally had enough of you Spike." Buffy said and shot the arrow into the wall beside Spike.
Anya knelt by Darry on the floor and used the butter knife to cut the ropes free from Darry. Darry and Anya stood up and joined the rest of the Scooby Gang by the foyer.
Buffy turned around. "Let's go." She said and without a backward glance, the group walked out of the crypt.
When Spike finally left the bar, it was nearly 10:00 o'clock, and he was drunker then Xander's Uncle Remus on Christmas Eve. However, the vampire still remembered the main parts of his plan; well almost all of the main points. He remembered something about hurting one of Buffy's friends, making Buffy respect him as something scary again and something about Willa Ford.
The vampire stumbled toward the Summers house, grumbling to himself as he walked. When Spike finally arrived at the house, it was all he could do to keep from falling over. He pounded on the door and rung the doorbell until someone opened the door.
It didn't matter to Spike who opened the door as long as it was one of Buffy's friends; Spike grabbed the shoulder of that person and yanked her outside.
"What the hell are you doing?" The person asked. It was only until then that Spike realized that he didn't know the person he took out of the house. However, it didn't really matter because if she was in Buffy's house then she was one of Buffy's friends. Spike pulled out a note scrawled on a napkin (that he had made at Willy's) and put it by the door. The note said: (in Spike's drunken hand-writing) "I have your friend, I won't let her go until you come and bow before me. And bring more beer." Willy had tried to make Spike put a line through the last part but Spike wouldn't let him.
With the note in place, Spike grabbed the person's arms and pinned them behind her.
"You're coming with me." Spike commanded and began pushing the person away from the Summers' house.
"What are you doing?" The person asked, she turned to look at Spike. "You're Spike aren't you? I heard Buffy talking to you the other night. God, she must really hate you." The person muttered.
Spike didn't bother to answer the person's question; he brought her to his crypt and shoved her inside. Spike shook his head to clear his mind and blinked his eyes.
"Hey, I don't know you." He said to the person.
"I'm Darry, wait why the hell did I just tell you that? You are Spike aren't you?" The person, Darry, asked.
"Yeah." The vampire answered and went over to this coffin-table and pulled out a loop of rope. You never know when these things will come in handy, he thought as he carried the rope back over to where Darry was standing.
"Okay, Spike, what are you doing?" Darry asked.
Spike drew a chair over to where they were standing and shoved Darry into it. He began to tie her to the chair. "I'm kidnapping you." He answered.
Darry began to laugh. "Why?" She asked, once she had stopped laughing.
"So that Buffy will realize that I am still scary and can still strike fear into people's hearts." Spike turned to face her. "Am I scaring you?" He asked her.
Darry tried not to laugh. "Oh yeah." She answered.
"Until Buffy comes to apologize to me, to take back all those mean things she said, you are my prisoner." Spike told Darry.
"Spike, are you drunk?" Darry asked, cocking her head to look at him.
Spike looked at her. "Quite a bit exactly." He answered.
Darry scoffed. "Oh please. You could at least show me the dignity of getting kidnapped by someone sober." She muttered.
Spike slammed his hand down on his coffin-table. "That's exactly what I'm talking about: dignity. See, vampires have dignity too." Spike said and pulled another chair up to sit in front of Darry.
"Sure Spike, every vampire has dignity. I mean, who wouldn't respect a blood-sucking killer?" Darry said, mustering a smile.
"See, Darry -that's your name right? - that's just the thing, I can't bite anymore, I can't even fight. And now, Buffy and all the other vampires and stuff in this town don't take me seriously." Spike griped.
Darry attempted to shrug her shoulders but the ropes bit into her skin. "I'm sure people respected you before. Like when you were a human." Darry said.
"That's another thing!" Spike yelled. "No one ever took me serous. Like when I was human, in 1880 I used to write poetry. I think that poetry was pretty damn good but no one else did; I used to write it for this girl, Ceily, and I thought she liked it and then one day, boom in front of everyone she turns me down. It was really embarrassing, I mean everyone was laughing and all." Spike whined.
"Spike…" Darry began but he cut her off.
"No, I'm not done. So, I leave the party and whom do I run into but Drusilla. Drusilla! That's another thing! She dumps me for some demon wanna be who can't even compare to me!" Spike yelled.
"Spike, shut your hole." Darry muttered.
"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about: no respect. You are going to listen to everything I have to say!" Spike yelled, looking at Darry. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, she dumps me saying I've gone 'too soft'. 'Too soft', ha! I killed two Slayers! Two! How is that 'too soft'? And it's not like I haven't tried to kill Buffy! I tried, lots of times." Spike said. He stood up and walked over to his cabinet and pulled out another bottle of booze. He uncapped it and took a swig from it.
"I'm sure you did Spike." Darry said.
"Shut up, I didn't ask you to talk." Spike muttered and sat back down, taking another drink.
"Anyway, Dru said that I had gone too soft because I made a deal with Buffy to save both our skins. Hello! I was doing it for our good; our good, that's me and her not just me.
"So, I come back from South America and who do I see. Well, someone I have never seen before but guess anyway." Spike said and drunk from the bottle.
"Um, I don't know." Darry answered.
"Then I'll tell you: Harmony. That little bitch who just suddenly found herself in vampire land. She's all 'Oh Spike you're a real tough vampire. Oh protect me and watch over me and feed me and cover our layer with pictures of fluffy unicorns!' So, what do I do? I decide 'hey, why not she's young and a babe' so I protect her and then the second I am not the vampire I used to be she leaves me! Yeah, just like that." Spike said and took another swig.
"Spike, shut up." Darry muttered, low enough so Spike couldn't hear her.
"And then guess what happens?" Spike asked.
"You realized you needed a life?" Darry asked.
"No, she comes along. Buffy." Spike said and frowned.
"Spike is absolutely crazy!" Buffy yelled and balled up the napkin and through it across the kitchen.
Anya's eyes widened and then she shrugged. "Okay, what are we going to do about Darry?" Anya asked.
Buffy had come home just a few minutes ago to find her house in a semi-state of DeathCon1. Anya and Xander had come over to pay everyone a visit and had found Spike's note at the front door. They had told Willow and Dawn and Willow was about to go find Buffy when she walked in.
"Well, we are going to find her and 'save' her and I am going to kick Spike's undead ass." Buffy answered.
"Okay, let's go!" Anya yelled and grabbed a butter knife out of the kitchen draw.
"Anya, put the knife down. We're all going to rescue Darry but we are not doing it with a butter knife." Buffy said.
"Okay, let's go rescue Darry!" Dawn yelled.
"Did I say everyone was going to rescue Darry? I mean, everyone but you is going to rescue Darry." Buffy said gently.
"Oh come on Buffy, let me come. You don't want me to stay home alone, all alone in Sunnydale?" Dawn said and gave her the most innocent smile.
"Fine, let's go. Who knows what Spike is doing to her." Buffy said.
"And then, the building starts falling in around us and what does she do? She starts passionately kissing me and then we make the most passionate, romantic love…" Spike continued.
"Spike! That's your business! Shut up!" Darry yelled.
"Now, Darry you listen…" Spike protested but Darry cut him off.
"No, Spike, you listen to me! I have been here, tied to this chair, for about an hour listening to you whine about your pathetic life! If there's any vampire left in you, please kill me now because I would rather die then listen to you rant for two more seconds!" Darry yelled.
"You act like you're the only person in the world with problems! Here you are, drunk, ranting on about your horrible poems and crap like you're the only person with problems. Well, I hate to break it to you Spike but you're not even a person! And even if you were, you would not be the only one with problems! And when you really think about it, you don't even have any 'real' problems.
"I mean, you stay in your crypt all day and watch your stupid TV and then when the sun goes down you go to some butcher shop or wherever and have your meal handed to you. Spike, you don't have any problems." Darry finished.
"He does have one problem." Came a voice from behind them. "Me." Spike turned around and Darry tried to crane her neck but she knew whom the voice belonged to. Buffy.
Buffy was standing in the foyer of the crypt with a crossbow aimed at Spike. Behind her were the other members of the Scooby Gang and Anya had a butter knife.
"Yay, Buffy." Darry said and looked over at Spike. "She's going to kick your butt and do you know why? Because she hates you!" Darry yelled and attempted to undo the ropes around her. However, Darry only managed to tip the chair and it fell over onto the crypt floor.
"Darry's right, you know Spike, about both things. Number one being that I hate you. Number two being that I would kick your butt, but I'm not in the mood. But I can tell you that if you ever come near any of my friends I can I will not only kick your butt but I will kill you. I have finally had enough of you Spike." Buffy said and shot the arrow into the wall beside Spike.
Anya knelt by Darry on the floor and used the butter knife to cut the ropes free from Darry. Darry and Anya stood up and joined the rest of the Scooby Gang by the foyer.
Buffy turned around. "Let's go." She said and without a backward glance, the group walked out of the crypt.
