This is another crazy crossover story: BtVS meets Fox Television
this time. Buffy, Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara, and Riley are the
possessions of Joss Whedon and Mutent Enemy, Inc. I don't think I
owe Fox any mention here. Otherwise, this story is copyright
2001 by Eric Jablow. All Rights Reserved. Oh, and rate it PG-13
for language. Spoilers for Into the Woods and Triangle. Some
Riley-bashing.

Two men walked out of the city hospital; the man in the lead was
red with anger, and the one behind looked like he just wanted to
duck.

"God damn it, Fisher! Our chief hunk didn't pay attention to the
rules, had some of the local water, and now he won't be out of
the hospital for a week!"

"Boss, he'll be okay."

"He'll be okay! He'll be okay? I'm not okay. We film tomorrow,
and we're missing our chief stud! Dammit, we've got a show to put
on. Find somebody, and fast, or I'm sending you back to the
States in a rowboat!"

"Yes, Boss. I'll find somebody. You can count on me."

"A friggin' canoe!"

Fisher turned and walked up the street toward the city
center. "Damn reality TV," he thought. A couple of blocks later,
out of sight of the hospital and his boss, he found a bar. "Too
bad I can't get drunk." He went in and bought a beer.

Fisher had been nursing his beer for a half-hour when he heard a
man order two beers from the bartender in loud, broken
Spanish. He looked up; there were a tall, pale man and a
average-sized, darker man. Both were obviously fit, and both were
obviously American. Only an American would think that volume was
a universal translator.

He looked a bit more. Neither wore a wedding or engagement ring,
and neither had a briefcase or any other signs of a
job. Tourists. Perfect. And the girls always go for the tall
ones.

He took out his business card and walked over to them.

"Excuse me."

"Yes?" The taller man had a flat, midwestern, accent.

"Look, I'm an assistant producer for a new American television
show, and I'm in a bit of trouble here. One of our performers got
sick, and I'm looking for a replacement."

"What sort of show?" The other man had a Southern accent.

"It's a new Fox show; It's a little like the opposite of "The
Dating Game". We've brought a few dating couples down here, and a
few singles, we give the couples a chance to see whether they
really want to stay together."

"Typical Fox fertilizer." The tall guy again.

"Hey--you're the one who came down here to forget his last
girlfriend."

"Yes, I did, didn't I?"

"So, are the two of you interested?"

"How long do you need us, and how much are you paying?" The
Southerner again.

"Just a couple of days. And, ten thousand apiece. Possibly a
bonus if you and the others click."

"Well, G?"

"Why not, R.?"

"Okay."

"By the way, what are your names?"

"He's Graham, and call me Riley."