Falling in love.
It's an odd concept. I don't think I've ever experienced it, but I hear it's a wonderful feeling. I hear that it's not really the sensation of actually falling. I think that just may be a lover's rumor. I think it's just a hunk of bull, in my opinion. It's just probably something that people think up in their spare time. When they're bored and have nothing else to do.
What?
What about Squall?
Hm.
I don't know. To be honest, he's not really… you know what? To tell the truth, I don't think I'll be sure about that either. I think I may have fallen in love with him, but then again, it could have been that sisterly feeling you got when you wanted to take care of a younger sibling. Protective and warm…
..but also obsessive.
"Hey Instructor," said Seifer. He sat down beside me and reached up to take off my glasses for me. I had to set down my pencil.
"Seifer, I need to work," I said gently taking them back. "I can't chat with you right now. And call me Quistis."
"But you look pretty," he said, earnest. He ignored my last comment and I tilted my head and gave him a warm smile. "Keep them off."
"You know," I said to him. He brought up his head, "You're not as evil as you seem."
"To you I don't. But that's because you're the only person who bothered to open up to me."
"It wasn't all that easy, I can assure you," I said and put my glasses back on. I turned to my paper, but continued to listen to him speak to me. The bubbling fountain in front of me was a constant comfort. Seifer laughed.
"Really?" he said with a smirk.
"Yes really. You did try to kill me once, you know." That was a bit harsh, but he knew I meant no harm. I found that I could always be myself around him. He was smarter than the others thought.
"Well, you're 'not as you seem' either."
"How so?" I asked, making eye contact. He had soft eyes. I mean, softer than his usual and hard exterior. Oop… that might sound a bit odd…
I laughed out loud. Seifer knew I was thinking to
myself a bit.
"Well you ain't as perfect as you make yourself out to be," he said. I nodded.
"I admit, that's true. But is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he shook his head at my playful question.
"Quistis. You're too serious."
It was a little quiet, and I could sense he was trying to think of something to break the silence and make conversation.
"Seifer, you're taking a liking to me aren't you."
He paused, but answered nonetheless, "Yes, I am. And it's taken you too long a time to get the hint." He grinned nervously.
I blushed. A calm exterior clashed with my inside. My heart was beating fast. So fast that I felt like I'd explode. But I knew I'd be okay. It wasn't the intense, yearning feeling I got when I used to think of Squall. It was hard to explain.
And I didn't know how I'd explain it the right way to Seifer.
Then it came to me.
"Seifer, give me your hand." He offered it to me and I placed it against my heart. He raised one of his eyebrows.
"You feel it?"
It took him a while. And the expression on his face told me he was trying to understand what I was trying to tell him. When he didn't reply, I took my other hand and placed it on his wrist.
"Do you feel it?" What I felt for Seifer. I didn't think it was love.
And I didn't think that it was just friendship either. It was awkward and uncomfortable. But it was smooth and subtle.
"All I feel is your heartbeat…" he said, and then he blinked, as if finally getting what I was saying. His hand dropped to his side. He was confused. I set down my work on the floor and I leaned against him.
"I can feel is yours," I told him. He hesitated again. "It's nice."
"You know, we can't really live happily ever after."
He said, after a bit of thinking on both our parts.
"Hm.."
"The other's are gonna be a little weird about this," he said.
"But they have been noticing how much you hang around me now. You make like you barely notice the others exist," I said, " and you suddenly start walking and speaking with me. Laughing even."
He shuffled his hands in his pockets.
"But… it'll be awkward. I was never really a part of the group. You've always been, and it'll be like invading," he said, looking to the ceiling. I shook my head.
"Seifer? Is that how you've been seeing me? Seifer, no, I've never been in the group. Neither have I been any part of it. It may seem like it, but I'm not one of them. They're birds of a feather. I'm a feather, yes… but I'm not from… I'm different because… see, I'm just … oh, why is this so hard to explain?" I asked myself and rubbed the back of my head.
"I sort of get what you're saying. I guess," he reassured me. I relaxed.
"Just forget, it Seifer. Now you're stuck with the Instructor," I said.
"I thought you told me to call you Quistis," he said sarcastically. I laughed and snuggled closer. He was warm, and the heater had gone haywire. It was cold and it was going to be cold until the janitors went and fixed the damn thing.
Fuujin walked up to us. She pointed at a puzzled group of people watching us from the other side. It was Squall and Rinoa. And the others weren't very far behind.
"Audience," she said and gave me a certain look. It was sincere and considerate. She knelt down beside the bench and whispered something in Seifer's ear. Seifer turned beet red and cried, "Fuujin!"
"Seifer. If you're going to, then do it. There's never been a better time," she said and retreated to Raijin's side. They both walked off into another classroom.
"What'd she say?"
He slipped off his trench-coat and flapped it over me, using it as a blanket for the both of us.
"Shivering," he said, not answering me. I opened my eyes. I hadn't even noticed I had closed them. But Seifer grasped my clip and slipped it off my hair. I sat up and felt my hair fall out just below my shoulders.
I frowned. I felt vulnerable with my hair down.
"Quistis," Seifer said. I sighed and leaned back on him. He pulled me closer and rested his arms around my waist.
"She said that if I was ever going… she said if I'm ever going to kiss you, I'd better do it now or she'd take my gun blade and throw it out the window."
"That's nice," I whispered and he leaned in close from behind. I turned to him and we gently connected in a kiss. We both drifted quickly into a deep sleep. It was nice.
