When You Least Expect It Part 2
Disclaimer: I don't own them
John woke feeling refreshed. He had finally slept through the night after the conversation he had with Rygel the day before.
He got up and showered and felt like a new man. 'I'm gonna start over again with Aeryn. I'm gonna give her the space she needs, but be there when she needs me,' he thought while dressing.
'Oh yes John, you're a new man starting today,' saying to himself on his way to the mess. Whistling happily down Moya's corridors.
Entering the mess John said in a cheerful voice, "Top of the morning to everyone. Everyone sleep well?" John gathered up his breakfast and sat across from Aeryn.
D'Argo, Chiana and Jool stared at him, mouths opened. Aeryn did not acknowledge his presence.
Rygel smiled proudly thinking, 'the human did listen to me after all. Good. That deed will last me awhile.'
Chiana, Jool, and D'Argo all responded at the same time. "Morning John". They all looked at each other with the same thoughts. What had caused this change in him? They were happy, but confused.
Aeryn still had not acknowledged John's presence. She continued to eat with no change in her expression.
John noticed and said to himself,' patience John, patience.'
"What about you, Aeryn?"
"I slept very well, thank you," Aeryn answered in her peacekeeper mode, without raising her eyes from her plate.
John just stared for a moment at Aeryn and dropped his head.
D'Argo seeing this said, "You must be feeling better John."
"Um, yeah big guy. Doing better today." John replied looking at his untouched food.
Aeryn took notice of D'Argo's question and asked, "You've been sick John?" Aeryn now looking at him.
John looked up at her with hope, 'maybe she does care after all', but when he looked in her eyes he saw nothing but coldness.
"You could say that, but I'm fine now,"John replied flatly.
"Good," she said simply. "Can't afford to have a crewmate sick."
Everyone in the room dropped their heads at Aeryn's statement. They had hoped for a moment she could still care for John.
John rose from the table thinking, 'I've had enough of this dren. If I don't leave I'm going to say something I'm going to regret.'
"I'll be in the maintenance bay if anybody needs me," John said in a dejected voice.
D'Argo's voice stopped John as he was leaving, "John wait." John hesitated and turned slowly looking at D'Argo. He could see the anguish in John's eyes.
"Yeah D'Argo?" John asked impatiently.
"I will join you shortly my friend." John nodded and walked out.
"Aeryn! Can't you at least be civil to John?" D'Argo asked in exasperation. " He is trying and you don't even want to acknowledge he is in the same room with you! Don't you realize how much you are hurting him? "
Aeryn acted as if D'Argo had not even spoken to her. She felt like her soul was being torn apart.
"Aeryn, please listen to me," D'Argo pleaded. " He does not deserve this from you. He has done nothing to hurt you. All he has done is love you, and that is something that is rare out here. Please Aeryn, just try."
Aeryn looked at D'Argo, with anger in her eyes. "Hurt me? He hurts me everytime I see him or hear his voice."
"You talk about love D'Argo, I had love and I lost it," Aeryn said with hatred in her voice. "He cannot replace what I had. Ever!"
"You would all do well to leave things alone," Aeryn said angrily stomping out of the room.
Chiana had tears in her eyes. "D'Argo that sounded pretty final to me," she said quietly.
"How could she hate John so much? He didn't have anything to do with what happened.
How could she forget all the times they shared together?"
"Chiana," Jool said. "It is the fact this John is alive and the one she, shall we say got close to, is dead. Aeryn can't or won't decipher the times before the second John came. She is hurt, and that is all she is thinking about. She doesn't mean to hurt John, she can't help it because of the pain she is in."
"I think Jool is right Chiana. But how to resolve this, I just don't know." D'Argo replied saddened, shaking his head.
"Maybe you two can talk to her, I need to see John now," D'Argo said on his way to the maintenance bay.
John was working on his module. He found himself thinking more than really working.
'How am I going to break down the barrier she has put up? I know I swore patience, but it's easier said than done. She called me a crewmate,' John thought wincing.
This thought made John suddenly angry. 'Crewmate.'
John climbed out from under his module, stood and threw the wrench across the bay. He kicked the tools on the maintenance bay floor furiously all over the bay. John was shouting now "Crewmate huh? So now I'm just a crewmate to her!"
D'Argo heard all the noise in the corridor from the maintenance bay. D'Argo thought 'He's lost it now,' running into the maintenance bay.
He looked around and shook his head at the tools strewn all over the bay.
"John.. John, stop this now. This will not settle anything," D'Argo said.
John was laughing as he was saying, "Hell she won't even give me a chance. She won't let me get near her!"
His laughter was bordering on hysteria now. D'Argo recognized this laughter and it sent shivers up his spine.
John suddenly picked up a wrench, turned and started beating it against the Farscape 1.
"I never should have come here," John shouted. "I don't belong here," still beating the module and breathing heavily.
D'Argo grabbed John's arms and stopped him from doing any more damage to the module.
"John, you must stop this," D'Argo said quietly but forcefully. "We'll get through this but you know this is not the way."
John turned and slid down the module sitting on the floor, still breathing heavily. With knees bent, he buried his face in his hands.
D'Argo waited until John's breathing had evened out before speaking, "I know it hurts John, but you aren't helping yourself or Aeryn. Some things take time."
"Time.that's all I hear. The other said it, Rygel and now you," John said in an anguished and tired voice.
"Time..I'm running out of it big guy," John lifted his head and rested it against the module, eyes still closed.
D'Argo looked at his friend with sadness in his eyes. He wished there was something he could do to help him with his pain, but he knew all he could do was be there for him. The pain was something he had to deal with.
"D'Argo, I think I need to get away, before I lose it. You know loony bin, crazy." John was looking at him now with red-rimmed eyes. " I am just.so tired!"
"I'm not helping Aeryn or myself being here. This is the only solution I can come up with. It's what we Humans call giving each other space.
"But John there is plenty of space here. We are surrounded by it," D'Argo said, thinking frell, now John is hallucinating.
John chuckled, "No big guy. Not that kind of space. The kind where you are not near each other at all. Drop me off on a planet and Aeryn stays here. Understand now?"
Suddenly D'Argo understood, and was shocked by what John wanted to do.
"No John. Never. You will stay where you belong, on Moya," D'Argo said to leave no discussion.
"This is what I want my friend," John said quietly.
D'Argo knew he would never deny his friend, but this was wrong.
"John, you are exhausted," D'Argo said hoping he could delay him. "Get some rest first, and we'll discuss this later."
John thought about his friend's statement and said, "Till later D'Argo."
D'Argo helped John to his feet, "Go rest now John."
John nodded and headed to his quarters.
D'Argo hoped John slept for a while. He needed to talk to Chiana, Jool, and perhaps Aeryn about John's request. He had to find some way to stop him from leaving Moya.
John would be defenseless on a planet by himself.
"Pilot," commed D'Argo, "where are Jool and Chiana?"
"Jool is in the med bay and Chiana is in command, Ka'D'Argo. Is every thing alright with Commander Crichton?" Pilot asked.
"Not exactly Pilot. Can you ask Jool to meet Chiana and I in command?"
"Certainly, Ka'D'Argo," replied Pilot.
"Thank you Pilot." D'Argo replied on his way to command.
Jool and D'Argo entered command at the same time.
Chiana saw both of them and was alarmed. "Hey, what's going on D'Argo? Is something wrong?'
"Something must be Chiana since I was called here by Pilot, and had to stop some very important work," Jool said slightly annoyed.
"Pilot called you here because I asked him to Jool," D'Argo was trying to choose his words carefully. "John wants to leave Moya."
Chiana and Jool both started, "but he can't, he would die without us, and this is his home." The same words came out of both their mouths, and they simply looked at each other.
"Well I'm, glad you two agree on something," D'Argo said with a sense of pride for these two women. "We have to figure some way to stop him. He is sleeping now, but I don't know for how long."
Chiana thought for a moment before replying, "Is there some reason you didn't call Aeryn?"
"What do you think Chiana?" D'Argo said with sadness in his voice. "He is just a crewmate to her now. You heard her. I think that was the breaking point for John."
"D'Argo I hate to say this but Aeryn needs to be involved," Jool stated. "She is part of this crew."
D'Argo looked to Chiana. She nodded in ascent to Jool's statement.
"Pilot, please ask Officer Sun to join us in command."
"Certainly Ka'D'Argo," replied Pilot.
D'Argo was saying as Aeryn entered command. "I don't really think this is a good idea. She told us to stay out of it. Remember?"
"What is not a good idea D'Argo?" Aeryn asked as she entered command.
"This discussion Aeryn," D'Argo replied.
"Fine. Explain what this is all about, please," Aeryn replied in her peacekeeper mode, looking at all three of them.
Chiana spoke up first, "John wants to leave Moya, because of you. You can't let him Aeryn. You know he can't survive without all of us."
Aeryn was silent. Her mouth had gone dry with this new revelation. She swallowed hard not knowing what to say. She looked up and saw all eyes on her.
"Well Aeryn?" Jool asked. "I don't want to see John leave us. This is his home, as it is for all of us."
"Aeryn," D'Argo said quietly trying not to push her. "He needs to know there is hope for both of you. He needs to know you don't blame him or hate him. Right now he feels you hate him. Aeryn he is doing this for you, so you don't have to see him or hear his voice."
"Perhaps this would be best for awhile," Aeryn replied flatly.
"No Aeryn, you don't really mean this?" said D'Argo. You know how naïve he is when he is not with the rest of us. Are you really going to stand there and tell me to grant his wish to drop him on a planet?"
"It doesn't have to be Crichton. It can be me." Aeryn replied not looking at anyone.
"John would never allow that Aeryn and you know it," D'Argo replied tired of this whole thing. "He would follow you where ever you go."
"Pilot, find a suitable planet for Crichton to stay on for a small amount of time." D'Argo knew nothing was going to be solved so he adhered to John's wishes.
"Are you sure Ka'D'Argo?" asked Pilot.
"It is John's wish, Pilot."
"I will notify you when I have found something," Pilot said quietly.
Aeryn was taken aback by D'Argo's instructions to Pilot. She was torn with emotions. She had lost her love. Was she willing to lose the other one also? Aeryn walked from command to her quarters.
How can I let him go, she thought. Why can't I accept him? Aeryn leaned against the wall of Moya and felt the tears fall slowly down her cheeks. I don't want him to go. Why can't I tell him that?
Have I become so cold and heartless that I am willing to sacrifice others? Have I become the Peacekeeper I once was, where no on else matters? " I don't want to be that way," Aeryn said to herself crying. "I want to be the way I was, but he's gone. I don't know how to go back. It hurts too much." Aeryn wrapped her hands around her arms squeezing herself and crying, as she lowered herself to the ground.
John slept for an arn. He rose slowly knowing what he had to do. 'It's for the best. I can't handle it anymore', John thought running his hand through his hair. 'Well time to track down a planet John. Let's get this over with,' John thought as he headed to command.
John stepped into the corridor and heard someone crying. He walked slowly until he was sure where it was coming from. It was Aeryn. His heart was breaking just listening to her. He wanted to hold her so bad and tell her everything was going to be all right, but he couldn't stand the rejection he knew would come.
He leaned against Moya's walls and closed his eyes. He whispered, "I love you Aeryn."
He kissed his palm and placed it on the wall outside Aeryn's quarters. "That's all I can give you now, Sunshine."
He dropped his head and hurried to command, not looking back.
D'Argo looked at John as he entered command. "Are you ready John? Pilot has located a habitable planet."
John didn't acknowledge D'Argo or his words. He had his back to him wondering if he was doing the right thing. He was still thinking about Aeryn crying in her quarters.
"John?" D'Argo asked quietly. "Are you alright?"
John turned, "Yeah big guy. Let's get this show on the road." John avoided D'Argo's
eyes.
"You don't have to go, John. I wish you would change your mind," D'Argo pleaded with John.
"Naw, my friend. I need some time. Just don't forget to come back for me."
"That could never happen John."
"Time to go the Farscape1 and get off this ship," John said with D'Argo by his side on their way to the ship.
China, Jool and Rygel met John in the bay.
Chiana had tears in her eyes as she said, "Hey old man! I've put some things on the ship you may need. John.please don't leave. You don't have to."
"I know Pip. I want to for awhile," he said giving her a hug. "Thanks"
"Well everybody, I'll see you all in a couple days." He could see the tears in Chiana and Jool's eyes.
Looking at D'Argo, "Please take care of her," he said with sadness in his voice.
D'Argo nodded.
John started to climb into his ship, he stopped and looked around. No sign of Aeryn. He dropped his shoulders and continued up the ladder into the ship.
He sat in the ship and could feel tears welling up in his eyes.
"Hey Crichton," Rygel called. "Please don't get in any frelling trouble down there."
Smiling John said, "Sure thing Sparky."
John took one last look and fired up the Farscape1. He flew out the bay doors.
Aeryn was standing outside the bay, listening. She wanted to go to him, but couldn't. She stood outside the doors and cried, screaming inside her head "No don't go! Please don't go John!" Aeryn heard the ship power up. She tried to move but her legs wouldn't cooperate with her mind. When she finally moved the ship was gone.
Everyone in the bay turned to look at her.
"It's too late, Aeryn," D'Argo said sadly. He moved past her on his way back to command thinking, "be safe my friend."
The rest of the crew followed D'Argo. No one had any words to offer Aeryn.
Aeryn stood in the bay looking at the doors. 'He's really gone.' She turned and slowly and walked back to her quarters.
John landed the module outside of the city. He checked Winona and departed the ship.
Pilot told him the planet was called Boreon. The inhabitants were peaceful, but it had become quite populated with different races since the Boreens welcomed everyone.
He reached the outskirts of town and just observed the town square.
'Hmm, looks pretty peaceful,' John thought, 'like any other commerce planet.'
John entered the town square looking for the local watering hole. 'First of things first,' John chuckled to himself, 'I could do with a cool one right about now.'
The crew of Moya was in the mess for their daily meal. All were around the table eating in silence.
"Any one heard from Crichton yet?" Rygel asked breaking the silence.
"No Rygel," D'Argo replied. "But I'm not surprised. I don't think he has any intentions of contacting us for awhile."
"But D'Argo, he knows we are worried about him," Chiana said glancing at Aeryn.
Aeryn saw it but ignored her.
"Chiana I am sure he will contact us when he is ready," Jool stated rising to leave. "I'm going back to the lab. I can't stand all the chatter in here," Jool said with sarcasm in her voice.
"We are worried about John, Jool!" Chiana said in an angry voice.
"Why Chiana? He chose to go. You forget he is a big boy and can take care of himself. None of you give him enough credit. Especially you Aeryn. You think he can't live without you, that he can't take care of himself," Jool said in a rush before anyone could interrupt her.
"Jool, I think that is enough," D'Argo said rising.
"No D'Argo, I don't!" Jool said looking him in the eye. "Please sit down and hear me out." D'Argo did as she asked.
"All of you are walking around here afraid to speak your mind, well I'm not," Jool said in a controlled voice.
"Aeryn, you think the world revolves around you and your lost one. Well it does not!" Jool stated looking her directly in the eyes. "We are all part of your life whether you like it or not. Especially John! Frell Aeryn, I haven't been around you all that long, but I do know that John has saved your life many times at his own expense. He is one of the most bravest and caring men I have ever known. He would die for you without a second thought."
Aeryn started to say something, but Jool stopped her.
"No I am not finished yet." Jool was now leaning over Aeryn. "Aeryn, John can live without you. He chooses not to, because he loves you. He is also perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He has proven that many times. It is about time you all treated him as one of you and not as the Poor Human," she continued staring at everyone in the room.
"If I had someone who loved me this much, I would be by his side for the rest of my life.
"How lucky you are Aeryn, and don't even know it. Perhaps you don't deserve him." Jool stood up straight and started to walk away.
Aeryn stood and said seething in anger, "How dare you judge me? Who do you think you are? You know nothing!"
"I know more than you think, Aeryn," Jool said coolly as she walked back to the lab.
Everyone watched the scene between Aeryn and Jool waiting for Aeryn to hit her. Surprise was evident on everyone's face when Jool walked away unharmed.
Aeryn slowly lowered herself to her seat, looking down at the table.
D'Argo said in a concerned voice, "Aeryn are you alright?" He had promised John he would watch out for her.
She nodded getting up from the table. "I'll be in my quarters." She walked away with her shoulders slumped over not looking at any one.
"Wow, I didn't think Jool had it in her," Chiana said in awe. "And I totally agree with her D'Argo."
"As I do Chiana," Rygel said softly. "She does surprise me sometimes."
"Well, this could be good or bad, we will just have to see," D'Argo said just above a whisper. "She did speak the truth though."
Disclaimer: I don't own them
John woke feeling refreshed. He had finally slept through the night after the conversation he had with Rygel the day before.
He got up and showered and felt like a new man. 'I'm gonna start over again with Aeryn. I'm gonna give her the space she needs, but be there when she needs me,' he thought while dressing.
'Oh yes John, you're a new man starting today,' saying to himself on his way to the mess. Whistling happily down Moya's corridors.
Entering the mess John said in a cheerful voice, "Top of the morning to everyone. Everyone sleep well?" John gathered up his breakfast and sat across from Aeryn.
D'Argo, Chiana and Jool stared at him, mouths opened. Aeryn did not acknowledge his presence.
Rygel smiled proudly thinking, 'the human did listen to me after all. Good. That deed will last me awhile.'
Chiana, Jool, and D'Argo all responded at the same time. "Morning John". They all looked at each other with the same thoughts. What had caused this change in him? They were happy, but confused.
Aeryn still had not acknowledged John's presence. She continued to eat with no change in her expression.
John noticed and said to himself,' patience John, patience.'
"What about you, Aeryn?"
"I slept very well, thank you," Aeryn answered in her peacekeeper mode, without raising her eyes from her plate.
John just stared for a moment at Aeryn and dropped his head.
D'Argo seeing this said, "You must be feeling better John."
"Um, yeah big guy. Doing better today." John replied looking at his untouched food.
Aeryn took notice of D'Argo's question and asked, "You've been sick John?" Aeryn now looking at him.
John looked up at her with hope, 'maybe she does care after all', but when he looked in her eyes he saw nothing but coldness.
"You could say that, but I'm fine now,"John replied flatly.
"Good," she said simply. "Can't afford to have a crewmate sick."
Everyone in the room dropped their heads at Aeryn's statement. They had hoped for a moment she could still care for John.
John rose from the table thinking, 'I've had enough of this dren. If I don't leave I'm going to say something I'm going to regret.'
"I'll be in the maintenance bay if anybody needs me," John said in a dejected voice.
D'Argo's voice stopped John as he was leaving, "John wait." John hesitated and turned slowly looking at D'Argo. He could see the anguish in John's eyes.
"Yeah D'Argo?" John asked impatiently.
"I will join you shortly my friend." John nodded and walked out.
"Aeryn! Can't you at least be civil to John?" D'Argo asked in exasperation. " He is trying and you don't even want to acknowledge he is in the same room with you! Don't you realize how much you are hurting him? "
Aeryn acted as if D'Argo had not even spoken to her. She felt like her soul was being torn apart.
"Aeryn, please listen to me," D'Argo pleaded. " He does not deserve this from you. He has done nothing to hurt you. All he has done is love you, and that is something that is rare out here. Please Aeryn, just try."
Aeryn looked at D'Argo, with anger in her eyes. "Hurt me? He hurts me everytime I see him or hear his voice."
"You talk about love D'Argo, I had love and I lost it," Aeryn said with hatred in her voice. "He cannot replace what I had. Ever!"
"You would all do well to leave things alone," Aeryn said angrily stomping out of the room.
Chiana had tears in her eyes. "D'Argo that sounded pretty final to me," she said quietly.
"How could she hate John so much? He didn't have anything to do with what happened.
How could she forget all the times they shared together?"
"Chiana," Jool said. "It is the fact this John is alive and the one she, shall we say got close to, is dead. Aeryn can't or won't decipher the times before the second John came. She is hurt, and that is all she is thinking about. She doesn't mean to hurt John, she can't help it because of the pain she is in."
"I think Jool is right Chiana. But how to resolve this, I just don't know." D'Argo replied saddened, shaking his head.
"Maybe you two can talk to her, I need to see John now," D'Argo said on his way to the maintenance bay.
John was working on his module. He found himself thinking more than really working.
'How am I going to break down the barrier she has put up? I know I swore patience, but it's easier said than done. She called me a crewmate,' John thought wincing.
This thought made John suddenly angry. 'Crewmate.'
John climbed out from under his module, stood and threw the wrench across the bay. He kicked the tools on the maintenance bay floor furiously all over the bay. John was shouting now "Crewmate huh? So now I'm just a crewmate to her!"
D'Argo heard all the noise in the corridor from the maintenance bay. D'Argo thought 'He's lost it now,' running into the maintenance bay.
He looked around and shook his head at the tools strewn all over the bay.
"John.. John, stop this now. This will not settle anything," D'Argo said.
John was laughing as he was saying, "Hell she won't even give me a chance. She won't let me get near her!"
His laughter was bordering on hysteria now. D'Argo recognized this laughter and it sent shivers up his spine.
John suddenly picked up a wrench, turned and started beating it against the Farscape 1.
"I never should have come here," John shouted. "I don't belong here," still beating the module and breathing heavily.
D'Argo grabbed John's arms and stopped him from doing any more damage to the module.
"John, you must stop this," D'Argo said quietly but forcefully. "We'll get through this but you know this is not the way."
John turned and slid down the module sitting on the floor, still breathing heavily. With knees bent, he buried his face in his hands.
D'Argo waited until John's breathing had evened out before speaking, "I know it hurts John, but you aren't helping yourself or Aeryn. Some things take time."
"Time.that's all I hear. The other said it, Rygel and now you," John said in an anguished and tired voice.
"Time..I'm running out of it big guy," John lifted his head and rested it against the module, eyes still closed.
D'Argo looked at his friend with sadness in his eyes. He wished there was something he could do to help him with his pain, but he knew all he could do was be there for him. The pain was something he had to deal with.
"D'Argo, I think I need to get away, before I lose it. You know loony bin, crazy." John was looking at him now with red-rimmed eyes. " I am just.so tired!"
"I'm not helping Aeryn or myself being here. This is the only solution I can come up with. It's what we Humans call giving each other space.
"But John there is plenty of space here. We are surrounded by it," D'Argo said, thinking frell, now John is hallucinating.
John chuckled, "No big guy. Not that kind of space. The kind where you are not near each other at all. Drop me off on a planet and Aeryn stays here. Understand now?"
Suddenly D'Argo understood, and was shocked by what John wanted to do.
"No John. Never. You will stay where you belong, on Moya," D'Argo said to leave no discussion.
"This is what I want my friend," John said quietly.
D'Argo knew he would never deny his friend, but this was wrong.
"John, you are exhausted," D'Argo said hoping he could delay him. "Get some rest first, and we'll discuss this later."
John thought about his friend's statement and said, "Till later D'Argo."
D'Argo helped John to his feet, "Go rest now John."
John nodded and headed to his quarters.
D'Argo hoped John slept for a while. He needed to talk to Chiana, Jool, and perhaps Aeryn about John's request. He had to find some way to stop him from leaving Moya.
John would be defenseless on a planet by himself.
"Pilot," commed D'Argo, "where are Jool and Chiana?"
"Jool is in the med bay and Chiana is in command, Ka'D'Argo. Is every thing alright with Commander Crichton?" Pilot asked.
"Not exactly Pilot. Can you ask Jool to meet Chiana and I in command?"
"Certainly, Ka'D'Argo," replied Pilot.
"Thank you Pilot." D'Argo replied on his way to command.
Jool and D'Argo entered command at the same time.
Chiana saw both of them and was alarmed. "Hey, what's going on D'Argo? Is something wrong?'
"Something must be Chiana since I was called here by Pilot, and had to stop some very important work," Jool said slightly annoyed.
"Pilot called you here because I asked him to Jool," D'Argo was trying to choose his words carefully. "John wants to leave Moya."
Chiana and Jool both started, "but he can't, he would die without us, and this is his home." The same words came out of both their mouths, and they simply looked at each other.
"Well I'm, glad you two agree on something," D'Argo said with a sense of pride for these two women. "We have to figure some way to stop him. He is sleeping now, but I don't know for how long."
Chiana thought for a moment before replying, "Is there some reason you didn't call Aeryn?"
"What do you think Chiana?" D'Argo said with sadness in his voice. "He is just a crewmate to her now. You heard her. I think that was the breaking point for John."
"D'Argo I hate to say this but Aeryn needs to be involved," Jool stated. "She is part of this crew."
D'Argo looked to Chiana. She nodded in ascent to Jool's statement.
"Pilot, please ask Officer Sun to join us in command."
"Certainly Ka'D'Argo," replied Pilot.
D'Argo was saying as Aeryn entered command. "I don't really think this is a good idea. She told us to stay out of it. Remember?"
"What is not a good idea D'Argo?" Aeryn asked as she entered command.
"This discussion Aeryn," D'Argo replied.
"Fine. Explain what this is all about, please," Aeryn replied in her peacekeeper mode, looking at all three of them.
Chiana spoke up first, "John wants to leave Moya, because of you. You can't let him Aeryn. You know he can't survive without all of us."
Aeryn was silent. Her mouth had gone dry with this new revelation. She swallowed hard not knowing what to say. She looked up and saw all eyes on her.
"Well Aeryn?" Jool asked. "I don't want to see John leave us. This is his home, as it is for all of us."
"Aeryn," D'Argo said quietly trying not to push her. "He needs to know there is hope for both of you. He needs to know you don't blame him or hate him. Right now he feels you hate him. Aeryn he is doing this for you, so you don't have to see him or hear his voice."
"Perhaps this would be best for awhile," Aeryn replied flatly.
"No Aeryn, you don't really mean this?" said D'Argo. You know how naïve he is when he is not with the rest of us. Are you really going to stand there and tell me to grant his wish to drop him on a planet?"
"It doesn't have to be Crichton. It can be me." Aeryn replied not looking at anyone.
"John would never allow that Aeryn and you know it," D'Argo replied tired of this whole thing. "He would follow you where ever you go."
"Pilot, find a suitable planet for Crichton to stay on for a small amount of time." D'Argo knew nothing was going to be solved so he adhered to John's wishes.
"Are you sure Ka'D'Argo?" asked Pilot.
"It is John's wish, Pilot."
"I will notify you when I have found something," Pilot said quietly.
Aeryn was taken aback by D'Argo's instructions to Pilot. She was torn with emotions. She had lost her love. Was she willing to lose the other one also? Aeryn walked from command to her quarters.
How can I let him go, she thought. Why can't I accept him? Aeryn leaned against the wall of Moya and felt the tears fall slowly down her cheeks. I don't want him to go. Why can't I tell him that?
Have I become so cold and heartless that I am willing to sacrifice others? Have I become the Peacekeeper I once was, where no on else matters? " I don't want to be that way," Aeryn said to herself crying. "I want to be the way I was, but he's gone. I don't know how to go back. It hurts too much." Aeryn wrapped her hands around her arms squeezing herself and crying, as she lowered herself to the ground.
John slept for an arn. He rose slowly knowing what he had to do. 'It's for the best. I can't handle it anymore', John thought running his hand through his hair. 'Well time to track down a planet John. Let's get this over with,' John thought as he headed to command.
John stepped into the corridor and heard someone crying. He walked slowly until he was sure where it was coming from. It was Aeryn. His heart was breaking just listening to her. He wanted to hold her so bad and tell her everything was going to be all right, but he couldn't stand the rejection he knew would come.
He leaned against Moya's walls and closed his eyes. He whispered, "I love you Aeryn."
He kissed his palm and placed it on the wall outside Aeryn's quarters. "That's all I can give you now, Sunshine."
He dropped his head and hurried to command, not looking back.
D'Argo looked at John as he entered command. "Are you ready John? Pilot has located a habitable planet."
John didn't acknowledge D'Argo or his words. He had his back to him wondering if he was doing the right thing. He was still thinking about Aeryn crying in her quarters.
"John?" D'Argo asked quietly. "Are you alright?"
John turned, "Yeah big guy. Let's get this show on the road." John avoided D'Argo's
eyes.
"You don't have to go, John. I wish you would change your mind," D'Argo pleaded with John.
"Naw, my friend. I need some time. Just don't forget to come back for me."
"That could never happen John."
"Time to go the Farscape1 and get off this ship," John said with D'Argo by his side on their way to the ship.
China, Jool and Rygel met John in the bay.
Chiana had tears in her eyes as she said, "Hey old man! I've put some things on the ship you may need. John.please don't leave. You don't have to."
"I know Pip. I want to for awhile," he said giving her a hug. "Thanks"
"Well everybody, I'll see you all in a couple days." He could see the tears in Chiana and Jool's eyes.
Looking at D'Argo, "Please take care of her," he said with sadness in his voice.
D'Argo nodded.
John started to climb into his ship, he stopped and looked around. No sign of Aeryn. He dropped his shoulders and continued up the ladder into the ship.
He sat in the ship and could feel tears welling up in his eyes.
"Hey Crichton," Rygel called. "Please don't get in any frelling trouble down there."
Smiling John said, "Sure thing Sparky."
John took one last look and fired up the Farscape1. He flew out the bay doors.
Aeryn was standing outside the bay, listening. She wanted to go to him, but couldn't. She stood outside the doors and cried, screaming inside her head "No don't go! Please don't go John!" Aeryn heard the ship power up. She tried to move but her legs wouldn't cooperate with her mind. When she finally moved the ship was gone.
Everyone in the bay turned to look at her.
"It's too late, Aeryn," D'Argo said sadly. He moved past her on his way back to command thinking, "be safe my friend."
The rest of the crew followed D'Argo. No one had any words to offer Aeryn.
Aeryn stood in the bay looking at the doors. 'He's really gone.' She turned and slowly and walked back to her quarters.
John landed the module outside of the city. He checked Winona and departed the ship.
Pilot told him the planet was called Boreon. The inhabitants were peaceful, but it had become quite populated with different races since the Boreens welcomed everyone.
He reached the outskirts of town and just observed the town square.
'Hmm, looks pretty peaceful,' John thought, 'like any other commerce planet.'
John entered the town square looking for the local watering hole. 'First of things first,' John chuckled to himself, 'I could do with a cool one right about now.'
The crew of Moya was in the mess for their daily meal. All were around the table eating in silence.
"Any one heard from Crichton yet?" Rygel asked breaking the silence.
"No Rygel," D'Argo replied. "But I'm not surprised. I don't think he has any intentions of contacting us for awhile."
"But D'Argo, he knows we are worried about him," Chiana said glancing at Aeryn.
Aeryn saw it but ignored her.
"Chiana I am sure he will contact us when he is ready," Jool stated rising to leave. "I'm going back to the lab. I can't stand all the chatter in here," Jool said with sarcasm in her voice.
"We are worried about John, Jool!" Chiana said in an angry voice.
"Why Chiana? He chose to go. You forget he is a big boy and can take care of himself. None of you give him enough credit. Especially you Aeryn. You think he can't live without you, that he can't take care of himself," Jool said in a rush before anyone could interrupt her.
"Jool, I think that is enough," D'Argo said rising.
"No D'Argo, I don't!" Jool said looking him in the eye. "Please sit down and hear me out." D'Argo did as she asked.
"All of you are walking around here afraid to speak your mind, well I'm not," Jool said in a controlled voice.
"Aeryn, you think the world revolves around you and your lost one. Well it does not!" Jool stated looking her directly in the eyes. "We are all part of your life whether you like it or not. Especially John! Frell Aeryn, I haven't been around you all that long, but I do know that John has saved your life many times at his own expense. He is one of the most bravest and caring men I have ever known. He would die for you without a second thought."
Aeryn started to say something, but Jool stopped her.
"No I am not finished yet." Jool was now leaning over Aeryn. "Aeryn, John can live without you. He chooses not to, because he loves you. He is also perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He has proven that many times. It is about time you all treated him as one of you and not as the Poor Human," she continued staring at everyone in the room.
"If I had someone who loved me this much, I would be by his side for the rest of my life.
"How lucky you are Aeryn, and don't even know it. Perhaps you don't deserve him." Jool stood up straight and started to walk away.
Aeryn stood and said seething in anger, "How dare you judge me? Who do you think you are? You know nothing!"
"I know more than you think, Aeryn," Jool said coolly as she walked back to the lab.
Everyone watched the scene between Aeryn and Jool waiting for Aeryn to hit her. Surprise was evident on everyone's face when Jool walked away unharmed.
Aeryn slowly lowered herself to her seat, looking down at the table.
D'Argo said in a concerned voice, "Aeryn are you alright?" He had promised John he would watch out for her.
She nodded getting up from the table. "I'll be in my quarters." She walked away with her shoulders slumped over not looking at any one.
"Wow, I didn't think Jool had it in her," Chiana said in awe. "And I totally agree with her D'Argo."
"As I do Chiana," Rygel said softly. "She does surprise me sometimes."
"Well, this could be good or bad, we will just have to see," D'Argo said just above a whisper. "She did speak the truth though."
